Kills and Spills

It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday on the Astro Megaship. The Rangers were enjoying a day off. Cassie and Ashley had gone shopping, T.J. and Carlos were playing soccer at the park, and Andros and Zhane had stayed behind. Andros was reading in his captain's chair, when, suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get that." He yelled to Zhane. Andros went over and opened the door. It was a package delivery guy.

"Hello. Are you Mr. Andros?" The delivery guy asked.

"Yeah. Is that package for me?" Andros asked.

"Yep. Here's your dead wolverene." The delivery guy handed Andros the package.

Andros's eyes widened in horror. "What?! I don't want roadkill!" He shouted. "That can't be mine."

"But it has your name on it." The delivery guy insisted.

"Look, I don't order dead-" Andros cut himself off. He had a pretty good idea of who had done it. "ZHANE!!" Andros thundererd.

Zhane ran over to Andros. "What is it, Andros?" Zhane asked.

"YOU ORDERED ROADKILL IN MY NAME AGAIN, DIDN'T YOU?" Andros demanded.

"What? What makes you say that?" Zhane asked innocently.

"ZHANE!"

"Okay, it was me. I admit it. Can I go now? I really have to go to the bathroom." Zhane started doing the pee-pee dance.

"No. You come with me. You aren't going anywhere until we get all this sorted out." Andros dragged Zhane to the entrance doorway and faced the delivery guy

"As you can see, this was all just a big mistake." Andros explained. "You can take the package back."

The delivery guy rolled his eyes. "I'm glad I have your permission." He said sarcastically. He got right in Andros's face. "Look here, buddy, you ordered this roadkill and I'm not leaving until you pay for it."

Meanwhile Zhane was pee-pee dancing into overdrive, holding onto the contents of his bladder by a fragile thread. Maybe I'll be able to hold on longer if I make up a song about it. Zhane searched his mind.

Amidst the worthless chatter.

"Your tag says 'Delivery Service.'" Andros told the delivery guy. "Some service this is!"

With urine in the bladder.

The delivery guy sighed. "Okay. If you show me something really funny or if I see something really funny and get in a good mood, I'll take it back. But otherwise, I'm not leaving until this is paid for."

Finally the fragile thread of Zhane's bladder control snapped. Urine flooded Zhane's pants, and left behind a huge wet spot on Zhane's crotch. Andros gaped in speachless shock. Zhane had just had the wetting accident of his life.

"HA HA HA HA HA!!" The delivery guy rolled on the ground, laughing. He laughed so long and hard, he almost wet himself. After a few minutes, the delivery guy stood up and faced Andros.

"Okay. I'll take the roadkill back." He said agreably. Then he turned to Zhane. "LOSER! HA HA HA HA HA!" The delivery guy laughed all the way back to his truck.

Andros closed the door and confronted Zhane. "Well, Zhane, I hope that teaches you not to order things, let alone ROADKILL on my name!"

Zhane sighed. "Look, I know I was a weenie for ordering things in your name, but you won't tell anyone about. . .well, you know, right? Like, as a friend?"

Andros pondered that sentiment with a thoughtful look. Then he pulled out a digital camera and took four snapshots of Zhane's wet crotch.

"That one's going in the papers! I'm gonna submit them. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Andros cackled.

Epilouge.

Four days later, T.J. was bringing the newspaper to the table, where the Rangers were eating their breakfeast.

"Hey, Ashley, the paper's here."

Ashley ran over to him and grabbed for the paper. "Great! I love the headlines. Hey, Carlos, check it out."

Carlos examined the page. "All right, some loser wet his pants." He jeered.

"Let's see who it was." Carlos and Ashley intently studied the headline, which read:

ZHANE WETS HIS PANTS.

Carlos and Ashley slowly turned to look at Zhane, and flashed him huge grins.

Zhane sighed. "I'm. . .never going to hear the end of this, am I?"

Ashley and Carlos, still grinning, shook their heads at Zhane.

THE END.

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