Complacancy

by DXM Junkie

It was that kind of day. The one where Roxas wanted to throttle his best friend when he realized they might love each other. Mature. Akuroku.

Complacency

Edited April 2012.

Warning: Drinking and drug use.

It was that kind of day. The kind where you wake up late feeling like crap and it just has to be raining.

Roxas found himself stuck outside while hellish autumn sleet-rain pelted his back. He stared balefully at the wreckage of his moped. That moped served him well for the last three years; it took him to parties, assisted in delivering groceries, allowed him to arrive for class on time… but now Roxas wanted to kick the hunk of metal. Violently.

On the worse afternoon imaginable old rusty chose to break down and Roxas was stuck thirty-five minutes away from his off-campus apartment. Not that he really aspired to return home. Too much exposure to his twin brother's antics gave him a foul temper and when said brother insisted on making kissy faces with his girly-man boyfriend Riku, well, that just wasn't cool.

Shoving his hands into his back pocket, Roxas fished out his sleek cell phone and flipped it open, blankly staring at the black and white checkered wallpaper Namine downloaded for him. Scrolling through the random contacts he debated who he could call.

Sora didn't drive. His twin opted to ride his bike everywhere. If the place he wanted to go was too far away to bike he'd just get Riku to drive. Roxas was too disgusted with his brother's boyfriend to call him for a ride, even if he'd known the silver-haired devil since diapers and probably loathed him just as long. Well, not loathed per say. He knew how much Sora fawned over his man-candy and Sora was an excellent judge of character; but Riku was such an arrogant bitch and Roxas didn't want to owe Riku any favors.

Sighing, he entertained the idea of calling his study-friend Zexion before remembering that the quiet pensive man was probably off in the library or clinging to his quote-unquote 'best friend' Demyx. Or doing both while having mad amounts of sexual intercourse. Zexion owned a car, and he drove safely enough, but Roxas would feel guilty by mooching a ride off him even if this was an emergency. Demyx just got back from a week long road trip to see The Red Hot Chili Peppers in concert and he knew that Zexion endeavored for some serious alone time.

Glaring at the phone in his hands he continued to scroll down the menu with deft fingers. Half of the contacts on Roxas's phone were mere acquaintances that he'd met at parties throughout his time in college. He didn't know a lot of them very well and personally wasn't fond of asking a semi-stranger for assistance.

Huffing, his phone defaulted back to the beginning of the alphabet and he stared at the first contact listed with a deep feeling of resignation. Axel. The redheaded jerkwad. They possessed a love-hate relationship which is to say that Axel loved annoying the shit out of him and Roxas hated him for it.

But Axel was reliable and drove a Jeep and Roxas knew that he would drop everything to pick him up. Somehow Axel inexplicably managed to earn Roxas's close friendship, but this didn't stop the massive amounts of banter they exchanged whenever in each other's presence. Snapping his phone shut he heaved his moped up and forced it over against a bike rack.

After locking the useless piece of junk so it wouldn't get stolen, Roxas started briskly walking. He'd kill time before swallowing his pride and calling Axel to beg a ride. At least that way it felt like some of his dignity might be salvaged.

Heading to the MSC building where the school store and some administrational offices were located, Roxas was content to simply be out of the bitter rain. Roxas was a summer type of boy, he thrived in paltry heat. He loved riding around on his skateboard in hundred degree weather and munching sea-salt ice cream with his best friends in between working part-time jobs to pay for a useless education.

Winter was something Roxas hoped he'd be rid of someday. Maybe that's why he was going to college in the first place- so when he got older and found a cushy job he could migrate south for the winter. Sniffling while he shook his blond hair, he frowned as icy water sprayed a window. After focusing on his reflection for a moment with a sense of apathy, he bit his lip. He looked like a drowned rat. Stepping into the campus owned café, he located the coffee machine and snagged a massive cup. Expertly filling it with a mix of two strong dark brews he poured a dash of sugar and a dollop of creamer.

Coffee was something Roxas found completely essential for daily existence. Without it he wasn't sure he would've survived numerous eight AM classes after a hard bought of drinking. Hell, when he'd had biology sophomore year, his lab group stopped expecting too much out of him on Friday mornings. He'd invariably arrive to class wearing the same clothes as the night before, hung-over and reeking of cigarette smoke. Needless to say his biology group hadn't liked him very much but he thought they were a bunch of bible humpers anyway.

Swiping his debit card through the machine he paid for the coffee and meandered to a low-key corner booth. After chucking his backpack beside him he peered bleakly out the window and wondered why the god he didn't believe in hated him so much. It was probably because he was bisexual.

Deflating, he clutched the Styrofoam cup to heat his hands before taking a tentative sip. It was scalding. Reaching into his pocket he grabbed his cell phone again, glowering at the device like it was offending him profusely. Flipping it open he was about to press the green call button when he heard his named called. Well, it was a slaughtered form of his name that only one annoying son of a bitch insisted on.

"Hey, Roku!"

He spun his head, watching Axel prance towards him with endless enthusiasm. The redhead was bundled up for the weather but he was still obscenely skinny and too brightly colored. His crimson hair was pulled back into a ponytail that was falling out and he was wearing a long army coat with patches littering the torn fabric. A scarf covered his neck and he sported black pants and a pair of skater shoes. His green eyes were twinkling with amusement and he appeared cocky as always.

"Axel." Roxas replied, completely deadpan while flipping his phone shut.

"Damn little dude, you look soaked. Got caught in the lovely weather?" Axel asked him, scooting into the seat across from Roxas without invitation. Roxas sighed and nodded meekly.

"My moped broke down. I'm stuck here."

Axel's eyebrows, or what was left of them from the time he'd lit off fireworks in Demyx's basement, creased with a worried concentration.

"You're gonna get sick if you try to walk home. You need to take better care of yourself." Axel added.

"Well thank you for your medical analysis, Mom." Roxas replied cynically. He twined his fingers underneath his chin and gave Axel a long look.

"Can you give me a ride home, Axel?" Roxas finally asked, spitting the words out like there was a bad taste in his mouth. Axel returned an amiable expression and shifted the messenger bag strap across his shoulder.

"I guess that could be arranged. I have to stop back at my house and feed my damn brother's chocobo though."

"Where's Reno this time?"

"Vegas, I think. He just sort of left with some money on the counter and a note that said something retarded like, 'I'm in despair!'" Axel made hand gestures alongside his dialogue.

Roxas rolled his eyes. He'd met Reno several times when he'd been over at Axel's place and the elder freak was eccentric to say the least. He chewed tobacco obnoxiously and hit on Roxas whenever he was in vicinity. Axel apparently found that hilarious but if Reno went too far he'd pull Roxas out of the line of fire. That's just the sort of thing Axel always did for Roxas. Axel was abnormally protective and defensive about his friends, Roxas and Demyx in particular, but he was game for a good joke provided it didn't push any limits.

"That sounds just like him. You're brother's a douche bag. How's that chocobo doing anyway?"

"Eh, you know. Ever since your damn brother fed it vodka at that Fourth of July party it hasn't really been the same. Remind me to yell at him for that."

"Duly noted. What are you doing around campus anyway?"

Axel shifted his hand through his hair, pulling it out of the ponytail, "Can I have a sip of your coffee first? I'm like freakin' thrashed."

Roxas pushed his large coffee across the counter and warned, "Be careful, it's still scalding."

Axel gave an easy smile. Not a smirk, grin or leer but an actual honest smile. Roxas blinked at the expression. It was inevitably comforting to see Axel relaxed. Axel took a small sip and huffed into the cup before closing his eyes in euphoria. Roxas stared at Axel's face, his long lashes brushing his pale cheeks right above his twin tattoo's as he savored the flavor.

Roxas didn't think Axel was particularly attractive. He was too angular, too boney… but yet sometimes Axel could be the most alluring person he'd ever seen. When he wasn't bouncing around shrieking about fire or being stupid- he acted perceptively thoughtful and kind. And maybe that's why Roxas hadn't strangled him. Maybe that's why Roxas and Axel were best friends.

Passing the coffee over, Axel swiped his mouth with the back of his hand and murmured his gratitude.

"Today was I realized something, Roku." Axel stated after a dramatic pause. Roxas snorted, this would be good.

"And what great epiphany did you trip over today?"

Axel paused, propping his index finger to his lips and giving Roxas a pouty thoughtful expression. It looked utterly ridiculous on the flamboyant man and Roxas ducked his mouth so he wouldn't laugh.

"I realized that the rain outside sucks like an everlasting gobstopper of despair."

Roxas couldn't help the grin the split across his face. Ah, the knowledge of the great.

"That's heart wrenching, Aku, really."

Axel did a mental round of applause. Roxas was in a good mood when he called Axel 'Aku'. Most days Roxas was hormonal like a pregnant lady but sometimes Axel said the right thing and got the boy to relax. Axel knew more about Roxas then Roxas realized, of course. Roxas was one of Axel's favorite people for a good reason.

Roxas was moody and self-centered and went through an emo-angst bought every once in a while but he was also observant and thoughtful. He had one hell of a temper alongside a great sense of humor. Roxas was one of the few friends Axel could call and drag with him to be deviant for a couple hours. Roxas didn't talk without considering carefully what was going to say. And even if some of Axel's friends thought he was a callous prick Axel understood that was anything but true. Roxas was brutally honest. He didn't sugar-coat his words.

Axel glanced out the window, "But seriously, this weather is crap."

Roxas nodded his agreement while taking another sip before standing and asking, "Do you have anything you have to do before we leave campus?"

Axel shook his head in negation, also standing, "I wanted to see Dem before I left but I have a feeling he's with Sexy Zexy having Slutty McSlut times."

Roxas smirked, "Dem brought you back a shirt from the Chili Peppers concert, didn't he?"

Axel was gleeful, "Yep. I'm super stoked! The Chili Peppers are bomb. I was miffed that I couldn't go to the concert but Leonhart's hellfire about attendance."

They strode out the café together and towards the exit. Roxas watched the world beyond the glass with a decidedly unhappy expression. Axel glanced down at him, amused.

"You still hate the cold, don't you Roku?"

"Hate would be an understatement. I hate you, I despise the cold." Roxas corrected with an absent frown.

He wished he'd brought his scarf and gloves with him. But that morning he'd woken up late because he hadn't gotten any successful sleep the night before. It was hard to pass out when all you could hear was your brother having sex through paper thin walls. Roxas shuddered at the thought.

"Now now, you know that you're just being a meanie-poo. Suck it up little man. We've got a long trek before we reach my car."

They walked outside, Roxas slamming his hands into his pockets and disappearing underneath his Van's jacket. Axel reached into his messenger bag and fished out a pack of smokes, propping one into his mouth apathetically. He lit the end with some degree of difficulty and didn't seem to care his cigarette was getting soggy. They continued towards the parking lot, Axel a bit slower to accommodate Roxas's shorter strides.

"What lot did you park in?" Roxas voice was muffled from the massive hood of his coat. Axel noticed when the blond trembled. Axel sighed and pulled his scarf off, wrapping it around the smaller boy's neck tightly. He hated to see Roxas all shivery and miserable. The kid was too damn adorable to look upset.

"I had to park by Applied Arts 'cause Marly needed me to help him bring that oil painting in for the gallery."

Roxas peered up at Axel over the scratchy fabric.

"Your dick is going to drop off from the cold."

This was Roxas's version of saying 'thank you' to Axel for lending him his scarf.

"Nah, home skillet. I got fire in my blood and sparks for piss."

"And an inflated ego" Roxas added.

Axel nodded, taking a long drag of his cigarette and blowing the smoke away. They lurched up a steep hill towards the Art Building in silence.

"You think we should still get tickets for that Cloud Cult concert in the cities next month?" Roxas randomly asked, trying to attempt a conversation so he wouldn't have to think about how frozen his fingers felt and how numb his butt was.

"Sure. I mean, what are the tickets, like forty five?"

"Yah, I'm pretty sure. I'll check the net later for the times."

"That'll be awesome. Cloud Cult is rad, they were my jam band all last summer."

Roxas distinctly remembered the phase when that was all Axel listened to in his car. This was one of the things that the two had most in common- music. Neither could play any instrument for shit but both adored the exact same genres.

Sora possessed a horrible taste in music. He enjoyed country or catchy pop tunes alongside redundant rap. Roxas and Axel were into local bands and attending shows. It was more exciting to see the bands live then to listen to them on MP3, but they still required some sort music playing in the background. Classics and metal mixed with a heavy dose of British style punk. Demyx was far more obsessive. Dem's iPod hummed constantly, even while in class. The boy couldn't sleep without music unless he was tuckered out from a night with Zexion.

Both turned on the corner of the Arts Building, Roxas recognized Axel's car from a decent distance but that's just because he knew the vehicle better than any other. The pair jogged once they were close, Roxas trying not to slosh his coffee around.

"Want me to pick up your moped before we leave?" Axel queried as he unlocked the driver door and leaned over the seat to pop the lock on Roxas' side.

Roxas dove in the car swiftly before slamming the door shut behind him.

"No, that piece of shit can rust for all I care." Roxas muttered bitterly, pulling his hood down and watching Axel stick his keys in the ignition.

"As if it wasn't rusty already." Axel mentioned.

Axel continued smoking his cigarette but didn't roll down his window because of the rain. Not that Roxas would ever admit it out loud but he adored Axel's car. It smelled like spices and tobacco and he always carried awesome CD's. Plus, his Jeep had the cushy seats that you sort of just fell into like a comfortable old couch. Suddenly craving his resilient addiction, Roxas tugged his seat belt on before turning to Axel.

"Can I bum a smoke? I smoked the rest of my pack after Strife's fitness class."

Axel chuckled, "Nothing like giving yourself cancer after a long hour of cardiac aerobics, huh?"

"Something like that."

Axel cranked his stick-shift before flicking his wipers on. Phantogram was playing softly so Axel cranked the volume up. He tapped his fingers on the steering column in time with the electronic drums.

"They're in my bag. Light me one too." Axel informed him in an offhand manner.

Roxas reached under the flap of the bag between them and riffled through it for a moment before extracting the pack of cigarettes. He knew from memory exactly where Axel kept his stuff.

They were off campus when Roxas simultaneously lit both cigarettes. Axel pulled the car over when an ambulance shrilled past. He handed Axel one of the smokes and cracked his window just a bit, adjusting in the seat so the icy rain wouldn't hit his face. He watched as the ambulance disappeared over the hills and then turned his attention to other parts of their campus. They both attended a small college. It only touted about seven thousand students, but was well-known for being the top technology school in the country. Plus the party scene was decent.

When he'd first got to college most of Roxas's original friends hadn't enjoyed partying. They didn't take kindly to underage drinking, and abhorred smoking. He'd hung out with Hayner, Pence, and a girl called Olette most of his freshman year but towards spring he shared class with Axel for the first time. The course was a general English elective and it was completely random that Axel and Roxas were assigned a project together. Roxas was only eighteen then, Axel twenty one.

They became friends after bitching about the coursework, and though he grumbled about Axel he still spent the majority of his free time hanging out with the older man. Axel was a senior now, he was getting his degree in a field of pyro-technology so he could make fireworks and blow shit up for a living. Roxas was a junior and in a major which revolved around communications. He was fluent in French so he planned to use that to his advantage in the working world. His mom was the prerogative of his bilingualism; she forced Sora and Roxas into foreign language summer school at a young age.

Roxas flicked away some ash and glanced over at Axel out of the corner of his eye. The redhead draped one arm lazily over the steering wheel while the other puffed his cigarette.

"So after we feed the chocobo what do you wanna do tonight?"

"Hmm, dunno. Dem'll be with makin' sweet love with Zexy, and I think Xigbar is still wary of parties after that whole 'Vixen Vexen' fiasco. I guess we could chill and watch 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.' I mean, that beats you going home and having to deal with sex-slave Sora."

Roxas flinched, "I really wish you wouldn't talk about my brother's sex life. I have to hear it enough and I think I might vomit if forced to sit through one more session of, 'Oh, Ri! Right there, Riku! Right there...!'" Roxas faked a few moans which made Axel snicker.

The roads around them were dark and slushy though the grass was still a faint green and some stubborn brown and red leaves clung desperately on trees.

"I fucking hate Hollow Bastion." Roxas grumbled quietly, flicking his ash out the window and taking one last drag before pushing the still burning butt through the crack.

"I don't think it's that bad. You came from a bigger city so I guess this place is lamesville in comparison."

"Your home town is in Radiant Garden, right?"

Axel nodded. Radiant Garden was the capitol of their state and a fairly decently populated city. But in comparison Roxas's home was three sizes bigger. And Hollow Bastion was five times smaller. The suburban attitude was prevalent in this area and they often dealt with bigoted close minded pricks.

Demyx was beaten up during his freshman year when a bunch of boys on his dorm floor found out he was gay. The idiots thought he would try and peak at their dicks while they were showering in the community bathroom. That was a bit before Demyx started dating Zexion and way before Roxas even met him, but he'd heard rumors about things like that happening when he'd first started college.

He'd been worried about Sora, who'd always been openly gay. But he knew that if anyone dared to touch his brother vengeance would be wrought by a furious Riku who could be pretty damn scary if there was initiative. Riku was a member of their school's varsity Struggle team, and could kick a fair share of ass. Plus, Sora didn't even attend the same college as Roxas and Riku.

The Jeep turned a couple times, but Roxas was mainly focused on the music in the background. This was one of the things he enjoyed most about Axel's company- he knew when to be quiet. Demyx usually jabbered on and on about this and that and never shut up, but Axel could effortlessly sit outside with Roxas and have an evening cigarette well sharing companionable silence.

They pulled into Axel's apartment complex at the precise moment the Jeep finally warmed. They piled out, Roxas making sure that he locked Axel's door behind him. They trudged the two flights of steps to Axel's place. Axel fiddled with his keys for a long moment before throwing the door open. After taking their shoes off, Roxas slowly unwrapped Axel's scarf, liking how it smelled just like cologne and tobacco and musky spices.

Axel and Reno's apartment was messy and disorganized yet not filthy. They washed the dishes but left stuff around half hazard. A large television sat with several gaming systems scattered the carpet and discarded CD and DVD discs were randomly strewn about. The couch was covered with cigarette burns and large chunks were missing because Reno's chocobo liked to chew on it.

Roxas threw his oversized jacket off over a kitchen chair. Beneath his coat he was wearing a long sleeved Donnie Darko t-shirt with a half-jacket printed with black and white checkers. His usual metal pendent was looped around his neck matching his rings and dark pants. His black high top converse shoes were abandoned by the door.

Meandering over to Axel's room he flopped atop Axel's queen sized bed face first. Axel's bed was damn comfortable and way bigger than what the blond owned. You could fit three people on it, easily. Lifting his head he watched his best friend pull off his t-shirt and kick at a pile of clothes on the floor. When Axel's torso was bare it was easy to see how freakishly skinny he was. Axel picked out a deep purple tee and turned back to Roxas after tugging it over his head. It clung to his waist and Roxas could see prominent hip bones.

"I'll go feed Satan-bird. Do you wanna play video games for like an hour?" Axel asked him.

"Nah, I feel like doing something productive. Maybe we should pregame here for a while and find a party later. We know enough people between the both of us that we'll find something, and fuck knows that it's Friday night so they'll be heaping loads of intoxicated minors strewn about campus."

Axel smirked, padding his way out of the room. Roxas rested on his elbows, stomach still flush with the bed, and glanced around Axel's room. Axel painted his walls lavender a long time ago but now they were so covered in posters and photographs you could barely see the paint. His room didn't have much furniture, just his large bed and a desk with a laptop. But he did own the awesome Fender guitar sitting in a corner with an amp hooked in. Despite how they sucked at music each tried to play once in a while, even if was just to laugh at one another's constant mistakes.

A bunch of memories were tied to this room, of hanging out with Axel after a drunken night and smoking a cigarette while sitting crouched on his desk even though they weren't supposed to in the apartment. They'd try to usher the smoke out the window but the wind would just blow it back in and Reno'd have a shit fit the next morning about how their landlord was going to evict them for yellowing walls.

"Kay little dude, I'm set."

Roxas snapped out of his reverie. He stared up blankly. Axel gave him a weird look in return.

"You staring at my boxer shorts again?"

Roxas scoffed, "You wish. I was remembering how many times we'd smoke out of this window."

Axel glanced over at the window and a small smile spread across his face, "With Reno gone we can smoke in the kitchen if we want, but yah, those were some pretty crazy times."

He held his hand out at Roxas to pull him off the bed. Roxas grasped the warm appendage and let Axel help him up.

"I left my coffee in your car. I hope it doesn't get cold." Roxas murmured.

"It's been like five minutes, dude. I'm pretty sure your coffee is being a trooper."

Axel turned to him while Roxas tied his chucks.

"You wanna borrow this scarf? I'll grab another." Axel was already throwing the article of clothing he'd been wearing before.

Axel fished over the fridge door and grabbed a can of soda from the top shelf. Popping the top he took three quick gulps before setting it on the counter and walking over to the closet. He pulled out another scarf, this one gray, and looped it around his neck before picking up Roxas's coat that was on the kitchen chair. Roxas stood as Axel handed him the coat before throwing his own on.

Axel left into the hallway first, "Lock the door, Roku."

"I wonder if it's safe for me to stop at home before we go out tonight."

"Why, forget something?"

"Well, I don't want to punish my virgin eyeballs with the sight of my twin and his man-whore, but I didn't bring my contact case with me today and I want to drop off my laptop."

They got in the Jeep, Roxas reaching for his coffee as soon as the door was closed. Axel turned on the car and cranked the heat before reaching around to the back seat and grabbing a leather CD case. He began flipping through it.

"If you want we can go to that County Brand place over by your house. They carry that pink X-Rated liquor you like so much. Got any cash?"

Roxas snagged his wallet out of his pocket as Axel looked through CD's, "I only got twenty bucks right now but if I'm drinking tonight I'll need another pack of ciggs."

"That's fine. I got paid today so if you just throw in fifteen we can get a bottle of that and some rum. I want to get fucked on rum and pretend to be a pirate."

Axel found the CD he'd been looking for and after retrieving the previous disk music blared out of the speakers at an obscene volume. Roxas flinched as Axel turned the music down. One of Roxas's favorite bands, Placebo, started playing and he smiled. Axel didn't like Placebo as much because the lead vocalist had a 'femmy voice' but Axel knew Roxas did so he played it in his Jeep once in a while.

:A friend in need's a friend indeed, but a friend with weed is better…:

After picking up booze and smokes Axel circled back around to Roxas and Sora's place, taking the main streets because the back roads hadn't been plowed yet and the slush made the concrete slippery. Roxas lived in an apartment complex too, only it was a lot smaller and cheaper than Reno's. Axel left the booze in the trunk and Roxas moaned at seeing Sora's bike locked to a post by their front door. Riku's Camry was also out front so he knew that both of them would be inside

"It's kind of pathetic that I'm afraid to go in my own fuckin' apartment." Roxas stated despondently, standing outside the door so he could finish his cigarette. Axel leaned against the frame and nodded, whistling lowly.

"When Reno brought that guy Rude over every night I was pretty damn scared to go home too." Axel kicked his feet in front of him absentmindedly.

"I remember that, it's when you lived with Demyx for two weeks straight."

"That was harsh, man. I can only take Demyx in small doses. I honestly don't know how an emo-bitch like Zexion can handle that hyper fuck. I gave Demyx coffee once and he almost got run over cause he saw something shiny in the street."

Roxas rolled his eyes, "That would be Demyx for you. But I don't think Zexion is an emo-bitch. I've seen his arms and they are scar free thank you very much. Better than mine." It was a known fact to all of Roxas's friends that he'd been a cutter all through high school. The scars that ran up his arms were kind of hard to miss.

"I think that Zexion is too damn smart for his own good. I think Demyx is for Zexion what Sora is for Riku."

Axel appeared openly confused, "What do you mean?"

Roxas took another deep drag, "Demyx is cheerful, always doing stuff, either helping people or attempting to. He doesn't sit on his ass and vegetate. He gives Zexion, who's a fucking square, something to laugh about. It's the same with Riku. He's an arrogant megalomaniac prick, but Sora brings his soft side out because Sora's pure like that."

Axel teased, "Your brother's a good person. Cute too- in a childish kind of way. A lot more cuddly too."

Roxas glared, throwing his cigarette on the ground and smashing it under his shoe, "If I dyed my hair brown you wouldn't be able to tell us apart, jackass."

"Oh fuck yes I would. That would be easy. You and Sora are like night and day." Axel retorted, following him inside.

Roxas glare intensified, he felt offended.

He knew that a lot of people didn't like him because of his sour personality and they repeatedly compared him to Sora. Sora was always referred to as the 'better' 'sweeter' 'kinder' twin. Roxas was the broody bitch with sharp teeth. He often took offense when people thought he wasn't a good person just because he didn't walk around with a perpetual grin plastered on his face. Not that Sora acted fake, he was a very genuine person. It was true that his twin was probably kinder and sweeter than him but that's because they were different people.

"Fuck you, Axel." Roxas bit out.

Axel rolled his eyes and grabbed his arm before he could scamper away and fume silently, probably thinking of multiple ways to murder the lanky redhead. They hovered in the small door area at the front of his apartment.

"You didn't let me finish, Roku. Take a chillax pill. I'm not comparing you to your brother or some shit like that. I'm saying I would be able to tell you apart just because of who you are. Sora is like Demyx, remember? Small doses. You're so much easier to just hang around with because you're mellow."

Roxas gave Axel a wary look. Axel flashed a friendly smile, bringing his hand over and letting it trail across Roxas's bright golden hair. Axel bent down a bit so they were at eye level. Roxas didn't pull away from him because some unconscious part of him enjoyed being petted; but only by Axel.

"And I lied before. You're way cuter." Axel joked, winking at him ostentatiously.

"Fuck off, I'm not cute. Cats are cute. Chocobo's are cute. I'm a fucking man."

"Oh, sorry. Don't want to offend the manly man." Axel told him giving him one last brief touch over his cheek.

Axel spun and walked into the living room. The smell of cooking wafted through the air and Axel smirked to himself after entering the kitchen. Sora was shirtless in a pair of brown pants with a pink and blue apron wrapped around his tiny body. He was listening to Cher. Fucking Cher.

"Sora, you are really weird." Axel mused comically. Sora whirled around with a squeak of surprise. He put his hand to his chest while the other hand clutched a spatula.

"Axel! You scared the crap out of me!"

"Well that wouldn't be very fun to watch." Roxas mentioned. "Where's the man-whore?"

Sora's voice was tinted with stern disapproval, "Don't call Riku that, Roxy."

Roxas smirked and changed the subject, "What'cha cooking?"

"Chicken penne in red wine vinaigrette with basil and blue cheese." Sora responded happily, turning around and fiddling with a few ingredients.

Sora adored cooking. He watched cooking shows hosted by overly peppy middle-aged woman and copied their ideas. Sora was currently attending culinary school about a twenty minute bike ride away, that's why the twins still rented together. Riku practically lived with them too, making Roxas want to force Riku to fork over some rent money. Axel jumped up on the counter and crossed his slender legs.

"So you wanna go party with Roku and I tonight?" Axel asked Sora, knowing what the young boy would say beforehand.

"I don't like drinking as much as you two. Seriously, you guys are like walking exhibits for the early stages of alcoholism. And you always reek of cigarette smoke. I hope you're not smoking in your room Roxas," Sora warned him quietly, "Because smoking is bad for my health too. I like being healthy."

Sora was the type that didn't really care if people smoked or drank. He drank on occasion but Sora was a stupid weepy drunk, and nobody likes a weepy drunk. When they were growing up, Roxas and Sora hung out with completely different crowds. Roxas was attending shows, concerts, experimenting with boys and girls. Sora would go surfing with Riku and Kairi, or have Struggle matches with Tidus and Wakka. Roxas's friends thought Sora was weird and vice versa. It was still like that, even now that they were adults.

"You staying around for dinner?" Sora asked nonchalantly.

Roxas shook his head, "No, I'll let you and Riku taint the love nest another night alone. I'm just here to drop a few things off and change my shoes. I forgot to put on my boots this morning and that slush goes right through the fabric of my converse."

Sora sighed, "I wish you'd actually stay for dinner once in a while. I'll leave you leftovers in the fridge. I know you'll eat them tomorrow to stave off your raging hangover. You want me to leave you a plate too, Axel?"

Axel blinked, startled. Sora really was too kind, "Sure kid. Thanks a lot."

Sora gave him a beaming smile.

"Oh, the brat is back." A capricious voice commented.

Roxas' eyes narrowed towards the doorway where Riku was standing, wearing his tight preppy clothes with his hair half covering his eyes. Riku was an attractive man, but he was far too aware of that for his own good. The blond knew that Sora didn't care about Riku's looks, that he cared more about his 'heart' as black and scaly as Roxas thought it may be.

"Oh, if it isn't the prick." Roxas replied cynically with open dislike.

"Now, now. Children, behave." Sora sing-songed, completely used to his brother and boyfriend's unyeilding feuds. They hadn't liked each other as children, and even when Riku and Sora transitioned into boyfriends their senior year of high school the hatred didn't dissipate. They could tolerate one another, just barely.

Axel chuckled softly and leapt down off the counter to give Sora's hair a friendly ruffle.

He then crossed out of the kitchen and back into the living room leaving to two men to glare at one another. Sora kept the house pretty clean and maintained a completely different sense of style from Roxas. This was obvious throughout the place. Axel was sure that if Roxas owned his own apartment it would more look like his room with a plethora of band posters and black clothing littering his existence. They'd bought a nice couch, a fancy plush one that was navy blue plus a regular coffee table that was stacked with books. Roxas enjoyed reading and Axel really felt that was the only way he was represented in the entire house. Books were shoved in random places around the apartment and he knew there was a sky-high pile of manga in the bathroom next to the toilet.

He watched Roxas return, he was sifting his hands through his hair. He looked up at Axel and Axel felt his heart skip a little. Roxas was really more adorable than he knew, but whenever Axel told him so he would receive a scathing retort. Hell, he even looked cute when he was pissed off.

"C'mon, let's go to my room."

Axel followed him down the narrow hallway to the last room on the left.

Axel liked Roxas' room. It was similar to his with a smaller bed and a nicer desk. Roxas threw his backpack onto the bed and unzipped it, pulling out his laptop and plugging it in to the chord hanging off the end of his bed. Axel closed the door and locked it.

"Wanna smoke?" Roxas murmured.

Axel blinked and pretended to look affronted, "Are you offering medrugs? For shame! Only hobos and addict losers do drugs!"

Roxas chuckled. "Go get the pipe."

"Right on that." Axel told him, walking over to his closet and opening it. He pulled out a familiar book atop countless other. It was where Roxas stored his gear.

Roxas had taken a safety knife and cut out the inside of the book just large enough to fit a pipe and lighter. He knew that Sora would never find it because Sora not only didn't read when it wasn't mandatory, but if he managed to pick out this book from Roxas's huge collection… well, that just wasn't possible.

Roxas bent down under his bed and brought out shoebox. Inside the shoebox were a few extra lighters, a big stack of pictures, and hidden inside an empty pack of cigarettes, his weed.

He handed the cellophane to Axel, "I'm gonna have to catch Xig tonight and get more."

"You bought the last round, I got it tonight." Axel mentioned.

The two smoked a fair amount, and usually since they spent so much time together they shared almost all their weed. They switched often who bought it because they knew that it would end up being both burning it in the end. Axel unwrinkled the bag as Roxas opened his window. He'd situated his desk right underneath the small window so they could lean across and blow smoke out.

"Sora would shit a brick if he knew I smoked pot in here." Roxas said with a snarky tone.

He obviously didn't care if his brother found out because he would keep doing it anyway. Roxas didn't really care much about illegal activities; he'd been smoking weed since he was fifteen. He was a lucky bastard though; he'd never gotten an underage and he'd never been caught for drug use. Axel wasn't so lucky; he'd received two underage's and a possession back in his senior year of high school. He was happy he'd still been seventeen at the time so it was wiped off his permanent record.

Axel hummed to himself as he packed the bowl, "Place some tunes, Roku."

Roxas crouched over a stereo in the corner. After poking around his laundry he located his CD case.

"What are you in the mood to smoke too? Lily Allen? Yeah Yeah Yeah's? Dem finally burned me that old Modest Mouse CD…"

"No man, none of that femmy shit. Play something harder." Axel replied.

"Hmm, Skrillex? Rise Against? "

"Naw, play some Beck. Or Hollywood Undead."

"Hollywood Undead it is, I'm getting sick Beck for now." Roxas replied, fishing out a black burned CD.

Flipping through to the eighth song, his favorite from that album, he stood up and clamored onto his desk, sitting precariously over the edge. Axel handed him the pipe before joining him. Roxas grabbed a green lighter out of his pocket and torched it, taking a deep hit. Californian rap filtered in through the CD player, it was loud enough so Sora couldn't hear the lighters being flicked or them coughing.

They jammed for a while, passing the pipe between them while brushing fingers and knocking knees together. The bowl cashed itself out pretty early, the weed was dry so it burned quicker and gave them cotton mouth. Axel hummed along to a chorus of one of the songs and Roxas pushed at him lazily. Axel leaned his head against the window frame. It stopped raining but the slush still covered all the dead leaves in their part of the yard. Sora told Roxas to rake but he wasn't planning on doing that, ever. People get paid to do that sort of thing.

"Dude, this weed lasted us a good long time."

Roxas glanced over at his best friend and laughed carelessly in his dazed state, "Yah, you're right man. More than a week. We only got a half an eighth and we usually burn through that shit in like three days."

"I think it's 'cause Dem wasn't here."

"Yah, he's a fucking mooch. Not that I really care- he usually shares when he gets adderall."

"Lucky bitch, that one. Getting prescribed to adderall for ADHD. Would be better if he got Oxycotin though."

"Hells to the no, Oxycotin is way too addictive. That one time was enough for me. You do scary drugs sometimes, Axel. Like when you were tweeking out on meth for those two months. Fucking scary shit that I wouldn't touch. You got all weird too, I'm glad you're off that crap."

Axel chuckled. The redhead implicitly knew what Roxas meant. When he'd gone on his meth binge with Xaldin he'd been irritable and mean for almost two months, blowing all his money on the drug and staying at home. That was only a couple months after Roxas met him, so Roxas didn't know the full extent of how hard getting off that drug had been for Axel. So now Axel just laughed away those old bad memories.

"So what do you wanna do now?"

Roxas glanced over at his clock, "It's already seven. How 'bout we go to Xig's pad before callin' Larxene. She'll probably be throwing something tonight."

"Cool with me. First we should have ourselves some cancer."

Roxas nodded, grabbing the pipe and leaping off the desk. He reached down, scooped the book off his bed and stowing his glass. Taking the empty crinkled plastic he tossed it into his garbage and tucked the book under a couple others in his closet. Axel let out a languid stretch and yawned.

"Man, I'm so tired."

"You were saying that earlier. Long night?"

"Xion bought a new porn that she wanted me to watch."

"You're such a pervert."

Axel smiled cocky and clucked his tongue, "You already knew that, dude."

"So what was this porn about?"

"It was some lame hetero. I didn't get into it."

"I forget sometimes that you're totally homo."

"I like some chicks but yah, mostly I only do guys."

Roxas sighed and sprayed around quickly with Fabreeze before closing his window. They walked out of the room together and back into the living room. Riku and Sora were cuddling on the couch, feeding each other pieces of penne from the meal Sora cooked. Their legs were splayed together on the couch with their faces mere inches away from one another. It was a squeaky clean lovey-dovey moment and Roxas forced himself not to gag. Sometimes his brother was way too girly for his own damn good.

"I'm heading out, Sora. Axel and I are probably gonna head to a party over at third and third before crashing at his apartment."

Sora looked up at him over the couch and asked Axel, "Reno around?"

"Naw, some Vegas thing or another. I bet it's a booty call from Rude." Axel shoved his hands into his pockets.

Sora chuckled. He'd only met Reno a couple times on the rare occasions he went out and partied with Roxas. None of Sora's friends drank and Roxas was his primary connection. Sora was amazed the first time Roxas took him out in college. He'd labeled it a 'movie party' and got so inebriated that he puked outside on some shrubbery.

Riku had to come pick him up and drag him home that night, he'd been really pissed at Roxas for letting Sora get so intoxicated. Sora started sobbing in the backseat and Riku freaked out, afraid that something happened to his boyfriend. Roxas informed Riku that Sora was a big boy and should know when to cut himself off. They hadn't talked for about two weeks after because Riku was convinced Roxas let someone take advantage of Sora. It was actually Zexion who finally blew the whole thing over, telling Riku absentmindedly in the one class they shared that Sora spent most of the night next to Axel and Roxas, who wouldn't let anyone come near the overly-friendly Sora.

"What time will you be back tomorrow?"

"Depends on how hung-over I am. Ax just bought a new game for his Wii so we might play that for a couple hours."

Sora nodded and nuzzled into Riku's shoulder. Riku brought his arm around Sora and played with the fuzzy hair at the nape of his neck. Roxas groaned loudly and left the room without another word.

"If you have sex use protection!" Sora called out.

That was usually what Sora said when Roxas left. Not that Roxas needed to take the advice. He wasn't the type of person to sleep around even when he was drunk and horny. Roxas was a firm believer in relationships, not one night stands. He didn't date very often because he didn't find many people that he felt he could stand long enough to have an actual commitment with.

Roxas figured that if the person he was dating didn't have enough in common with him than any long term monogamy would be completely useless. The last person he'd dated, Namine, only lasted about four months before she'd gotten sick and tired of his constant going out. She hadn't approved of his drug use either. He also wasn't 'affectionate' enough for her tastes. Roxas just wasn't a touchy-feely person in most cases. The only person he actually did probably touch on a regular basis was Axel, but that was purely platonic.

Roxas slipped on his pair of heavy boots and they headed out the front door together. After clambering into Axel's Jeep, Roxas lit them both cigarettes and Axel shifted the gears, driving out of the parking lot easily.

He knew the area around Roxas's house pretty damn well by now, he'd spent a lot of time there. They usually didn't sleep over apartment because it was too small, opting instead to slumber in Axel's huge bed. Axel secretly adored having Roxas by his side so often. It was something his friends all noticed; where Axel was Roxas was surely either on his way or already with him. They rarely went out alone anymore; both found that they didn't have as much fun.

Axel contemplated this as he drove to the other side of town, were Xigbar's trailer park resided. The same CD was blaring; they both sat in silence with their own thoughts.

Dem and Zexion were probably the only people who knew that Axel liked Roxas a lot more than platonically, Axel confessed to Dem around last Christmas and because Dem was dating Zexion he'd inevitably spilled his guts out on the musician. Axel already decided he was never going to tell Roxas this secret; the redhead was much happier being just friends than potentially losing him. Axel was aware how Roxas was bisexual, but he also knew how picky Roxas was about dating someone. He wouldn't try if it wasn't worth his time. Axel didn't know if he was worth Roxas' time either. He'd heard Roxas bitch about him on several occasions and though he knew that they were friends he didn't think Roxas could ever like him that way.

Glancing at the boy he was thinking about out of the corner of his eye, Axel scowled. It did kind of suck sometimes. Axel often ignored the forceful urges when he wanted desperately to just lean over and kiss those pouty lips or stroke that smooth skin. They made out once when they were really drunk, but Roxas blacked out and didn't remember it. Axel never brought it up, either.

"What are you thinking about?" Roxas asked, leaning over to turn the music down a bit.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing really." Axel said in an offhanded manner.

"I call a bullshit card."

Axel looked over at him fully, "Why's that?"

Roxas met his gaze easily and seemed to be thinking about something for a long moment before replying, "Sometimes you get this look on your face, I can tell. You look sad. What are you thinking about?"

And there was the observant boy that Axel was so fond of. He was always sensitive to people's emotions, Axel especially. He was unhesitant to bring it up when Axel looked sad or uncomfortable with something. Axel sighed and shifted one of his hands off the steering column, letting it rest in his lap.

"Just someone." The word vomit slipped out before Axel could stop it. This seemed to catch Roxas's full attention and he gaped.

"Someone? You like someone?" He sounded incredulous.

Axel bit his lip, "I guess. Doesn't really matter though."

"Aku, if you like someone fucking tell me about it. Don't let that shit bottle up, man. You know you can trust me."

"I do trust you, Roku."

"Then tell me about it."

"I'd rather not right now. Some other time, okay?" Axel responded as he pulled into the trailer park.

Roxas looked a bit annoyed but nodded curtly. Axel just hoped he'd forgot all about it and wouldn't ask him again. That would be a horrible conversation, after all. And it would probably end up in Axel being Roxas-less for a good rest of his life afterwards.

Roxas stared in the distance, riled and upset. He wished that Axel would talk to him more about stuff like that, but Axel always shied away from conversations involving emotions. He knew that Axel didn't like to talk about those subjects, but it was a pretty big thing if Axel liked someone.

Roxas wracked his brain to figure out who Axel could potentially want. Axel didn't date very often, but had sex occasionally after parties. Was it one of those one night stands? For some reason that didn't sit well in the pit of Roxas' stomach. Roxas cared for Axel a lot more than he would ever verbalize and he didn't want Axel to end up with anyone who'd hurt him.

If anything, Roxas was over protective about those he cared about, Sora and Axel in particular. He would never allow anyone push them around if he knew about it and he would always defend them when needed. Never visually, of course, that would be embarrassing.

"Look Roku, I'll talk about it with you someday, just not tonight. I want to have a good time tonight."

"Fine, but I'm not going to forget about this."

Axel frowned and Roxas noticed how haggard his expression was. His eyes looked worn out and he could see black bags underneath right above where his tattoos resided. Blond eyebrows creased on his forehead and he bit his tongue, knowing he was about to say something stupid because he hated the thought of making Axel feel bad.

"I don't want you liking someone who doesn't deserve you. You'll get hurt." Roxas finally grit through clenched teeth, looking out the window with a determined expression.

His ears turned a slight red from embarrassment. He knew that Axel was startled.

"This person doesn't deserve me." Axel gave a weak smile.

Roxas blinked, amazed, "I doubt that."

Who would Axel think he was beneath? Roxas was probably one of the few people, Demyx aside, who knew that the redhead was pretty arrogant. Not in a 'I'm hot and can get anyone' sort of way, more like 'I know that I'm a good person and probably smarter then you' context. For Axel to think that, he must hold this person on a pretty high pedestal. This made Roxas more perturbed. Who the hell could it be?

"It's not somebody completely retarded like Riku, right?" Roxas queried in disbelief.

"What? Fuck no!" Axel laughed, pulling into an empty parking spot outside Xigbar's trailer. He put the car in park and threw his cigarette out the window. He'd barely taken three drags off it during the entire ride.

"Is it someone I know?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Axel told him, pulling his keys out of the ignition with more force than necessary and hopping out of the car, slamming the door to show Roxas that the conversation was over.

XXX

Roxas watched as Axel walked up to Xigbar's door without a glance back. Taking off his seatbelt slowly he opened his door, locking it before trailing behind the redhead. Axel knocked on the door. Xigbar's face immerged before Roxas could get another word out.

Xigbar was an older guy who'd lost his eye in some freak accident a few years back. He roomed with a guy with dreads that Roxas didn't know very well but partied with on occasion, Xaldin. He was one of Axel's main suppliers and could get basically any drug if you had enough money. Roxas didn't really like hanging out with Xigbar very often because Xigbar just wasn't that smart, but Axel thought he was funny enough.

"Hey," Xigbar said in greeting, gesturing them inside with his arm. His trailer was messy and grimy. A broken couch sat in the corner with an old TV alongside a table on the opposite end. The table was littered with writing. A giant penis was drawn in permanent marker on the wall and empty beer cans caked the floors. There was an overflowing ashtray atop the small table.

"Hey Xiggy, what's shakin?" Axel asked cheerfully, his expression completely fake.

Roxas scowled and crossed his arms.

"You know- the usual. What are you kiddies doing here?"

"We need some green leafy sustenance." Was Axel's prompt response.

"I wish you'd fucking call me before showing up." Xigbar grumbled, disappearing into the back of his trailer without another word. Axel dropped his grin and pulled out a chair at the crappy table. It squeaked under his meager weight. Roxas stood by the door, looking pissed off and aloof.

Axel glanced over at him, "C'mon Roku, don't be like that."

"Fuck off and die." Came Roxas' crude response.

His words were cold and if Axel hadn't been used to the boy's male PMS he probably would've flinched. Xigbar returned to the room with a shoebox. He pulled out a chair across the table from where Axel sat and opened it.

"So, what'dya need? Swag?"

"Nah man. Swag is for pussies and high school students. I want an eighth of nugs."

"I don't have an eighth's worth right now. I only got about a twenty sack."

"That'll do it. Weight that shit out, home skillet."

Xigbar sifted through a few different bags before pulling one out along with a mini-scale. He set it on the table and shook some of the weed, weighing it carefully and looking at the tiny numbers the scale read.

"Got cellophane?" Xigbar murmured as he slowly added just a bit more to the scale.

Axel reached into his pocket to grab his cigarette pack. "Crap, mine ripped today. Roku, can we have yours?"

Roxas walked over producing his own cigarette pack. After pulling off the plastic around it he handed it over to Xigbar without a word. Axel rolled his eyes discretely. He could tell that their conversation before put Roxas into a foul mood. He looked more irritated than he was when they were sitting in the café together.

Xigbar was kind enough to point this out.

"What stick is up your ass today, blondie?"

Roxas seethed, "None of your fucking business."

Xigbar snorted. He shoved the package to Axel who handed him a twenty dollar bill.

"I have some E if you want. That'll perk you right back up."

"Roku doesn't do E. But if you want some, I have an extra ten." Axel told him, trying to make a peace offering.

Roxas giving him a scathing look that said, 'There is no way in hell you're going to buy my compliance in this situation with drug money.'

Axel sighed, "I think I might just buy some for myself then. What kind is this?" He asked, taking the bag and sniffing its contents. The weed was still sticky which meant it was fairly new.

"California redhair. Cream of the crop." Xigbar responded.

Axel prompted, "Want me to smoke you up?"

Xigbar shook his head, "Nah, Xaldin's coming over pretty damn quick and he's bringing vodka. I'll be fucked up in like an hour anyway."

Axel chucked slightly before pushing the baggie into his pocket, "Thanks, man."

"So you want that ecstasy then?" Xigbar asked, putting the scale and almost-empty bag of grass back into the shoebox. He didn't close it.

"No, not today. Roku and I are going out drinking. You know any parties tonight? Know if Larxene's holding anything?"

"Don't know about that shit, man. I guess Larxene's pad got busted last week."

Roxas' attention was earned and his blue eyes snapped over to Xigbar, "What happened?"

"Guess they had too many people over, it got so loud that they were called in on a noise complaint. With so many obvious minors wasted, it wasn't hard to find probable cause. The fuzz busted it, something like twenty underage's and three possessions."

Axel winced, "Ouch. We know any of them?"

"Saix got busted. Dumbass had a full bag of grass on him when the fuzz frisked him."

"Hoo- Well man, were heading out then. I'm sure we'll find something." Axel whistled standing up.

"Can I bum a smoke before you leave?" Xigbar asked.

Roxas nodded and pulled out his pack, knowing that Xigbar didn't like Axel's menthol cigarettes. He grabbed one out and flicked in on the table.

"See you later, Xiggy." Roxas told him, heading out the door first.

The cool air bit at his cheeks, the wind whipping around him harshly and his feet meeting mush on the ground. He stomped over to Axel's car and waited for Axel to come out. Axel appeared a moment later, unlocking the door and letting Roxas in.

"Want to head to Zexion's quick? Xig just told me that Paine might be holding something over in that apartment complex."

"Whatever."

"Roxas, it's really not that big of a deal."

"Fuck off and die." The blond repeated.

"Why are you being such a bitch?" Axel's temper flared at the indifference.

"I am a bitch, remember?" Roxas half yelled.

They glared at each other fiercely for a long moment before Axel let out a huge breath. He leaned over and grabbed Roxas's hand. Roxas tried to pull out of his grip but Axel wouldn't let him. He held the hand between his own two and gave Roxas and earnest look.

"Do you really want to know that badly?" Axel pleaded, looking pretty upset.

Roxas's irritation melted away and he licked his lips.

"I do."

Axel looked down at their hands, clearly unhappy. "Fine. I'll tell you when we get back to my place tonight, okay?"

"Why not now?" Roxas queried.

'Because I want to enjoy my last night with you being my friend…' Axel thought.

His mouth instead muttered, "Just because."

Roxas looked down at their hands too, before nodding, "Fine. Later tonight. I won't forget."

Axel leaned across to let his fingers ruffle through Roxas' spiky hair, "I know you won't."

He let go of Roxas and reached into his coat pocket, bringing out his phone.

"Better call first to make sure the two aren't humping like bunnies when we get there."

Roxas snorted out a laugh, looking far more amiable than just a few moments prior. Axel clicked through his contacts before reaching Demyx's number. He pressed the green button and held the phone to his ear, turning up the heat a bit and lowering the volume of his CD player.

"'llo?"

"Hey Dem."

"Oh, Ax! 'Sup?"

"Nothin' really. You guy's humping?"

"What? Haha, no, not right now. Why, you wanna come pick up your shirt you band whore?"

"Fuck yes I do."

"Fine, I'm at Zexy's."

"Figured as much. Is it true that Paine's having a party?"

"Yah, actually. Who'd you hear that from?"

"Xiggy. Roku and I stopped by there to pick up some shit."

"Cool beans, you gonna share?"

"Whatev. I have something I wanna ask you, too."

"Oh, what?"

"Later."

"…. It's about the little dude, isn't it."

Axel paused, "Yah, I guess so."

"Sure, you know I'm here for you man."

"Yah, I know Dem. You're one awesome dude."

"I'll tell Zexy you said so. Then we can all sit down and bask in my awesomeness. I got a new Gibson while I was at the Chili Peppers Concert. It has their logo on it."

"Epic. You should spin us a jam or two."

"Can do, homie G. When yah gonna get here?"

"Were leaving Xig's now, be there in five."

"Kay, let yourself in then."

Axel flipped his phone shut and pulled out of the parking spot, turning left on the street outside the trailer park. It was starting to get pretty dark so he flipped his headlights on. Axel was glad that it at least stopped raining for a little while. He knew that if he was going to tell Roxas all that heavy shit like, 'I luv yah, dude,' that he wanted Roxas to be in a good mood. Then maybe the stifling rejection wouldn't sting as badly. Not.

"What did Dem have to say?" Roxas asked, staring out the window with disinterest though he'd been listening to the conversation very carefully so he could hear Demyx's end.

"He got a new Gibson."

"Doesn't he already have like nine guitars?"

"Yah, he's a compulsive music whore."

"True that. I don't know how Zexion handles it."

"I think we've already had this conversation today," Axel pointed out.

"True, fuck off."

"Only into your mouth, little man."

Roxas rolled his eyes, completely used to Axel's constant sexual innuendos. Then he remembered suddenly that his moped was still at campus, broken. It was probably sitting, rusting slowly, in the campus grounds while the slush ate the engine away. Roxas hoped that it wasn't stolen overnight.

"Dammit." Roxas muttered.

"Hmm?" Axel said, apparently broken out of a reverie.

"Just remembering that my fucking moped is a piece of shit. That'll cost me money I don't have to fix."

"You know I'll give you rides, man."

"Yah, but I still need it."

"You can't even ride on it once winter comes around."

Roxas glanced over at Axel, "I know that dipshit, but it's only October. That gives me like a month left to have my own mode of transportation. I hate mooching off you all the fucking time."

"It won't feel like mooching if you gave me gas money, mooch."

Roxas didn't reply. They were already at Zexion's apartment complex. He lived a two minute drive away from Xigbar's after all, on the sixth floor of a nice building. Zexion's apartment was by far one of the nicest out of all of Roxas's friends. Zexion came from a well-to-do family and though he wasn't spoiled or bratty he still owned nice stuff. Zexion didn't abuse what he had though, the majority of his money was spent on books. That's why Roxas liked Zexion so much. The quiet man was the only person that Roxas could really discuss books with, ever. All his other friends, Axel included, didn't read. They would rather watch TV. Roxas hated watching TV, he found it to be such a waste of time.

Zexion's parking lot was jam packed with cars so they had to park on the edge and walk a good block to where his place was. Roxas shoved his hands deep into his pockets. Axel sucked in air and let out a few long whistles as they walked. It was warm once they got inside but they needed to take an elevator because the stairs were locked on the first floor.

Roxas had acute claustrophobia. Axel knew this too, so when he got into the elevator Axel was quick to take his hand and loop an arm around him, burying Roxas's face into his coat so he couldn't see the small walls enclosing them.

When Axel first discovered this particular phobia, he'd though it was pretty damn hilarious until Roxas started hyperventilating rapidly and almost passed out. Now Axel knew how to get around that. If Roxas couldn't see the walls he didn't freak out as badly so Axel pulled the boy up against him. Roxas never complained and Axel enjoyed the excuse to hug him. The panic attacks didn't always happen, like Roxas was fine in cars (as long as they weren't compacts) but in elevators it was the worst.

Roxas clung to the front of his coat as Axel reached over him and pressed the six button. The doors closed and Roxas's eyes scrunched shut and he tried to not think about how he was in a tiny room. Axel smelled good, just like he always did, and Roxas felt a lot safer nestled deep into his arms. The ride was over in a moment, the elevator dinging and Axel leading Roxas out into the hallway.

Roxas took a deep breath and gave Axel a brief thankful look. He never really said thank you to Axel for all the small things he did for him, but Axel knew he noticed and appreciated them. Sora was probably the only other person who knew about the extent of Roxas's phobia and Axel didn't go around laughing at him for it or dissing him for being afraid. He actually didn't say anything ever on the subject, not even to their close friends. Together they walked up to Zexion's apartment, Roxas knocking.

The door burst open a second later, "Little dude! Ax!" Demyx cried, his aqua eyes twinkling and he bounced up and down.

"Hey Dem," Axel cheered, pushing Roxas past Demyx and into the nice apartment. Zexion was seated on the kitchen island, a book in hand. His hair looked tousled and he sported another decent sized love bite on the side of his neck. He greeted them softly but otherwise remained silent. Roxas went over to stand by him.

After Dem flaunted his new guitar and gave Axel his shirt they all sat on Zexion's couches, talking for a little while. Dem already decided not to go out that night because he was pretty tired from the long car ride that morning. The concert hadn't ended until three that morning, but he said it was worth it. He also wanted a few more 'Zexy cuddling hours' before he needed to leave and go to class. Because he'd ditched class for the week he had a lot of make-up work to do accomplish. Roxas and Zexion listened quietly as both men chatted amiably about this and that. Eventually Roxas stood.

"Hey, Zex, you mind if I borrow your porch for a smoke?"

Zexion shook his head and told the boy quietly, "Go ahead, Roxas. You know you don't have to ask."

Roxas gave him a quick smile and left the living room, pausing as soon as he was out of sight around the corner. He'd heard on the phone that Axel wanted to ask Dem something and he had a feeling that he wouldn't ask him with Roxas around. He felt kind of stupid snooping and eavesdropping on his best friend, but he was certain that this all involved the person Axel was crushing on and he was worried as hell about Axel.

"So Ax, what did you wanna talk to me about?" Predictable Dem, asking as soon as Roxas was out of sight.

"I accidently let it slip to Roku that I like someone." Axel finally stated, and he sounded exasperated.

"Well that was smooth," Zexion's smooth voice dryly responded.

"I know! He got really mad at me when I wouldn't tell him."

"He's just worried, you know how protective Roxy can be." Demyx said.

Roxas glared from where he stood. Was it that obvious? Demyx was making it sound like Roxas was a loyal puppy dog, biting anyone who got too close to his master.

"I promised him I would tell him tonight. What do I do?"

"I think it's a good thing. You've had this bottled up way too long." Zexion admitted.

Roxas frowned. Really? So Axel liked this person for a long time. He put his fist to his mouth and pouted. So Axel was keeping this a secret from him for a long time? What an asshole!

"Yah, Ax. I mean, if you tell Roxas how you feel how bad could it be?" Demyx quipped.

"He could hate me forever." Axel's blatant reply was swift.

Roxas could tell that Axel was probably running his hands through his mane of red hair. He did that when he was nervous. Roxas was tempted to leave his hiding spot and ask why the hell he would hate Axel for liking someone but that thought soon exited his head for a more shocking one.

"You've been in love with Roxas forever, dude. Just tell him. He's not going to hate you."

Roxas's eyes bulged out of his head and he with a whoosh of air he squeaked. What the fuck!

"I would much rather be friends with him than risk him hating me." Axel's tone turned sullen.

Roxas was baffled; he kept trying to wrap his head around this new train of thought. Spinning, he marched towards Zexion's room where the porch was and promptly lit a cigarette, clutching the side of the railing in a vice grip. Axel… loved him? Since fucking when?

Why hadn't he told him? Why the hell would Axel love a callous bitch like Roxas? It didn't make sense! Axel was loud and boisterous but kind and forgiving. And he'd said before that he didn't deserve the person he liked! How could Axel think he didn't deserve Roxas?

Taking deep drags on his cigarette Roxas was trembling with confusion. He wasn't sure how he felt about this. On one hand, if Roxas swallowed his pride he knew that he cared immensely for Axel. He told Axel everything, and trusted him. But he never once held a romantic inclination for his best friend, despite being bisexual.

What would Axel say later that night? What was Roxas supposed to say?

He didn't know what to do. The sliding door behind him opened and Roxas looked behind him after whirling around, hoping to the god's he didn't believe in that it wasn't Axel. It wasn't. It was Demyx. He was smiling happily and Roxas let out a groan of relief. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pouch of tobacco, leaning against the glass while rolling himself a cigarette.

"So, Roxas," Demyx said quietly, "I don't think either Zexy or Ax heard that startled squeak like I did but I'm pretty sure you were eavesdropping."

Shit. Fuck. Dammit!

Roxas gulped, looking like the kid who'd just stole candy from a gas station and gotten caught.

"Um-"

Demyx gave a relaxed and serene smile, "..and?"

"And what?"

"Do you hate him?"

Roxas deflated, "Of course I don't fucking hate him."

"Even though he loves you?" Roxas flinched.

"I…I don't really know what to think."

"It hadn't occurred to you?"

"No it hadn't! I mean, for fucks sake Dem! He's my best friend!" Roxas cried, throwing his dying cigarette off the edge and clamping his hands in his hair.

He was frustrated. He was overwhelmed. He was a little pissed off at himself. Demyx didn't look surprised by this little outburst. He strode to the ledge were Roxas was standing and leaned over next to him.

"Little dude, I've known Axel since I was like five. I grew up with him and for the longest time he was my best friend in the whole world. In a way he still is. But then I met Zexy and he met you and things changed a lot."

Roxas was silent.

Demyx smiled and his gaze was distantly withdrawn, obviously deep inside his memories, "Axel's been through some tough shit. What with his mum and dad, you know that whole story."

Roxas nodded meekly.

He remembered the day Axel told him all that; about his tar-covered past. It had been a conversation that despondently made him want to cry. No child deserved to go through the mental abuse Axel was forced to grow up with.

"He came to me like two days before New Year's last year and told me you guys made out."

Roxas let out a startled sound, "What? We never-"

"You blacked out because you were drunk."

Roxas's mouth promptly clamped shut.

"He said that he thought he liked you way more than he should. But he also said he was terrified you would hate him. You're not an easy person to become close to Roxas, you know that."

It was true. Roxas was cold and mean and not the easiest person to make nice with. Most people that hadn't known him since he was a child didn't want to make friends with him because they always thought he was condescending or mocking them.

"He knew that you didn't think of him that way, so he held it in. He didn't talk about it more than once or twice to Zexy and me, but we knew. We both promised we wouldn't say anything. The thing is, Rox, Axel isn't fickle. He doesn't fake crushes like that and he's pretty straightforward when it comes to his own emotions, even if he hates talking about it. But for him to deny himself the chance because he's afraid to lose your friendship, you know that must have been pretty shitty for him, right?"

Roxas nodded again.

"So, go out tonight. Think about what I just said and what he said. You know you like him Roxas, but would you be able to give him a chance? That's all up to you. Just please…" Dem finally looked directly at him, and for once his usually smiling happy disposition was serious and a tad melancholy.

"Please don't hurt him Rox. Even if you can't be in a relationship with him, he'll get over it. Don't stop being his friend because of something like this. You know how shitty it is to do that to a person."

A sharp knock sounded on the door and both turned. Roxas's heart pounded. It was Zexion.

"Axel says you're taking too long for one cigarette. He wants to get to that party." Zexion informed him casually, leaning against the door frame.

Zexion was mildly surprised at how lost Roxas appeared. He looked frazzled and confused. This was the first time Zexion had ever seen him like that. Usually he was apathetic or thoughtful or carefully paying attention to situations. The pair of lovers watched their blond friend leave, and Demyx closed the door behind him.

"He heard Axel, didn't he?" Zexion asked.

Demyx gave him a sad smile and reached for his hand, pulling the slim man close and propping his chin on his shoulder. Zexion sighed, loving the closeness of his boyfriend.

"I hope that things go well for them. Roxas needs someone like Axel."

"And Axel needs someone like Roxas." Demyx admitted.

"I don't think they realize that they're practically dating already. Those two spend more time with each other than we do, more often than not." Zexion pointed out, lifting his fingers to caress Demyx's face. Dem melted happily against him, nuzzling his nose before pressing his lips chastely against Zexion's mouth.

"Only not with the perks." Demyx winked.

"You know, if you do want to go out to that party, I'll understand."

"No way!" Demyx whined, "I missed you way too much! I know the party scene isn't yours and all that, but I'd much rather just spend my time chilling with you and such."

Zexion granted him an affectionate smile and tiptoed to his taller boyfriend's ear before whispering a thank you. Demyx brought his arms around his torso, mouth on his neck while inhaling Zexion's musky scent. Demyx sighed and looked past the trees where leaves were falling away.

Demyx always thought fall was such an ugly season. How could anything good happen in a cold dreadful time like this? He hoped he was wrong.

Meanwhile, Roxas was rushing back towards the living room. Before he reached Axel he took a deep breath and schooled his face into a calm expression. He knew that he would have to think about this pretty damn hard before he decided upon an answer, but he also didn't want Axel to know he was frazzled. Axel would find that suspicious. Walking back into the room with his poker face on he found Axel standing by the door, waiting impatiently.

"Damn, Roku! That was like the longest cigarette ever!" Axel complained loudly, tossing Roxas his jacket.

"I had two." Roxas said, throwing it on and following him out the door.

Paine's apartment was on the same floor as Zexion, just down the hall. They walked together, Axel again having to slow down his pace to help Roxas keep up with him.

"Do you think we should have grabbed the booze from the car?" Axel asked.

Roxas shook his head nonchalantly, proud at himself for acting so normal. Every time he looked up at his best friend though, the conversation popped into his head and he forced back a blush.

"I'm sure they'll have plenty when we arrive."

"True that! And I can roll a joint for us to share if they don't."

"We can't drink all that much anyways." Roxas pointed out.

"I know, I know. I have to drive. We'll just get drunk back at my place and chill here for like an hour. Sounds good?"

"Yes, that sounds fine." Roxas told him, both pausing before the door.

Axel knocked on it unnecessarily before they let themselves in. They could hear music from the hallway and smell the cigarette smoke. Inside a group of about nine people were sitting around a table with a deck of cards in the middle, each holding drinks. They all looked up at the pair.

"What's up?" Lexaeus scooted over so Axel and Roxas could pull up chairs. They were playing a popular drinking game, circle of death. And with that game it was easy to tell who was losing because they began slurring their words.

"Nothing much, anyone got a beer?" Axel asked cheerfully.

This collection of people were Axel's closer friends, two or three that he knew from Radiant Garden and more from their college. Roxas only knew the group through Axel. The blond had hung out with a few of them. But several others he still wasn't completely comfortable with.

Roxas rarely spoke with anyone he didn't deem a friend. So he took the beer from Marluxia (who he did consider a buddy) and opened it silently, listening to the raucous laughter and merry conversation bounce around the room.

Nobody was offended by Roxas's quiet nature; they simply thought he was a stoic kid. They didn't fully understand why Axel was so attached to him like glue, but they figured if Axel liked him so much then he must be a decent guy. Roxas didn't join in the game but Axel did for a few rounds. He was watching Axel the whole time out of the corner of his eye.

Axel's loud personality and snarky comments were the first thing Roxas observed. He didn't hold anything back, and he wasn't afraid to laugh. His vivid green gaze was always sparkling with mirth and he smirked a lot more than he smiled around these people, but he smiled more than he smirked around Roxas.

Roxas peered carelessly at the redhead as he chugged a bit of his beer and leaned his weight against the table. Roxas turned his attention to the others. They were all more sociable than Roxas, just like Axel, but they accepted him just because he was Axel's friend.

The only person that Roxas ever met who hadn't liked Axel all that much was Larxene. But she was just a bitch in general. Frowning down at his beer as he sipped slowly, Roxas realized he'd been thing about Axel more carefully then he'd ever done before.

Despite how cold and mean to Axel he was most of the time, going off with his violent temper and saying rude things to him, Axel claimed he loved Roxas. Roxas was still trying to wrap himself around that thought, but he tried to flop it alongside the opposite context.

Could Roxas love Axel? He knew that he wasn't in love with him, but was Roxas willing to try? He couldn't deny he thought Axel was attractive from certain angles, and that he was a good person. But would it be worth potentially ruining their friendship to attempt a relationship?

Roxas sighed heavily and downed the rest of the can of beer, feeling slightly warmer from the liquid courage. He heard his named being called and that snapped him out of his reverie. Looking up he saw Axel staring at him, a concerned expression plastered on his features.

"Hey Roku, you feeling okay? You look pale," Axel frowned, holding himself back from reaching over to physically check Roxas' temperature.

"Maybe you caught a cold cause of the shit weather." Lexaeus suggested, folding his hands together.

"You're always so quiet, if you don't feel good say something. We don't want you puking over Paine's meticulously clean kitchen tile." Marluxia teased, punching him playfully on the shoulder before flipping his pink hair behind his head and scooping an arm around his girlfriend's waist.

Paine stared at him and Roxas felt his cheeks flush. He hated when he was the center of attention.

"You need any meds?" She spoke indifferently.

Roxas shook his head, squeezing the can of beer in his hand and feeling shy. He was normally fine at parties because people usually didn't pay too much attention to him but when everyone was staring at him he felt like a naked crazy person. Axel immediately sensed his discomfort and stood, grinning at his friends.

"Yo, if Roku's not feeling hot I'll take him home." Axel told them, quickly finishing off his beer, "Sorry to just drop by for a bit Paine, but I'm sure this party won't die without my invigorating presence."

A few people laughed as others rolled their eyes. Roxas stood too, tossing his empty can into the trash next to the counter. He murmured his goodbye to Marluxia and Paine in particular, nodding at everyone else who waved. Then he rushed out.

"What's up with you?" Axel asked as soon as they got out of the apartment. Axel was still putting his coat on.

Roxas didn't respond, he glared down at his feet instead, unsure of what to say. Axel sighed and ran his hands through his hair before reaching down and taking Roxas's arm.

"You really okay? Do you want me to take you home Roxas?" He implored softly.

"No!" Roxas yelped frantically with more force than necessary.

He startled Axel more when he flushed red and toyed absently with a fray string on the scarf, "I'm fine. It's just- I hate it when people all stare at me like that."

Axel smiled (a true smile, Roxas noted, not a smirk) and started tugging him along back to the elevator. He understood that Roxas grew quiet at party settings.

When he'd first met the boy it took him a great deal of effort to even get him to say three words strung together. It wasn't that Roxas was unbearably shy, he just didn't talk to people he didn't feel the need to speak to. If he had something to say to somebody he would, but otherwise he normally listened. This was another thing that Axel found endearing about the shorter boy. He was inexplicably flattered how Roxas talked to him on a regular basis, a hell of a lot more than most people.

Pondering these facts, Axel didn't notice Roxas blush when they got on the elevator after he absentmindedly pulled the boy up to his chest like he always did. Somehow, this time around, it felt different for Roxas.

He was far more aware of Axel than he thought he should be. Of his lanky arms wrapped around him, his musky smell, his warmth… Roxas blushed to the roots of his hair and buried his face deeper into the scratchy material of Axel's coat to hid his cheeks. Axel was unaware, pulling him out of the elevator easily.

They walked back to his Jeep.

"To my place?"

"Sorry to make you leave the party so early." Roxas was embarrassed that he'd acted like such a pansy.

Axel shook his head.

"Don't apologize Roku. I didn't want to drink there tonight anyways. We have booze and weed and ciggs and a gigantic plasma screen TV to enjoy back at my pad, Reno free guaranteed." Axel gleefully celebrated, sounding like a child in a toy store.

Roxas placed the CD case across his lap, flipping through it and squinting to see labels in the meager light. It was his vain attempt to keep busy with something and distract him away from his thoughts. It was pitch black out but most of the slush melted into water, leaving the parking lots filled with icy puddles covered in floating dead leaves. Roxas picked out an MSI CD and pressed the eject button easily, popping the new CD in.

"So what did you guys talk about earlier?" Roxas finally gained his courage because he was hoping this conversation would help him find an answer.

"When?"

"When I went out on the porch to smoke. Dem came out a little later and left you and Zexion alone. What'd you talk about?"

"Oh!" Axel finally understanding, "Just about all that damn construction over by Grande Avenue and how now we have to take the long way to the gym. Why?"

"No reason, just curious. Dem seemed all mischievous when I saw him so I thought something happened."

He watched carefully for any reaction on Axel's face and he was a little startled to see a light blush tainting the older man's cheeks.

"No," Axel spit out, "Nothing happened."

Roxas raised an eyebrow but said nothing, instead taking out his pack of cigarettes and lighting another. He cracked the window open and was silently thankful that it stopped raining. Roxas hated the fall.

He craned his chin up at the fathomless black sky and lost himself in thought.

'Damn Axel for being a dipwad' was considered briefly.

He knew when they got back to Axel's place they would smoke a bowl, drink a beer, and finally lounge on the couch to relax. Then Roxas force Axel to say he loved him. Roxas's fist tightened- Axel telling him he liked him- he couldn't imagine it. But for some reason he really wanted to hear those words aloud.

The rest of the ride was quiet. The only sounds were Mindless Self Indulgence lyrics blaring through the speakers. When they arrived at Axel's place, the redhead carted the case of liquor. Roxas helped by bringing some textbooks up. It was only nine thirty which was relatively early to start drinking but both needed to attend early morning classes.

Roxas took his boots off, tossing the books onto the couch and shimmying out of his coat. Axel followed suit and reached into a cabinet, grabbing two glasses.

"Want a mixed drink?"

Reno's chocobo squawked at the sudden movement.

"Sure," Roxas replied, reaching down to pet the chocobo softly. The creature allowed this, but only because it knew Roxas by scent. The chocobo nipped affectionately at his fingers while Axel poured two drinks. Axel handed the drink down to him after stirring it with a spoon.

"So what do you want to do? Watch TV?"

"I want to talk." Roxas replied after taking a large chug of the screwdriver.

"Oh?" Axel was pretending to be innocent, "What about?"

"You know damn well what about." Roxas retorted, plopping into a chair.

He pushed some of the stuff that was cluttering the kitchen table off to the side, giving Axel a pointed look. Axel obediently fell into the chair next to him. Roxas watched as Axel downed his drink in two deep gulps.

"Slow down, Ax. You'll make yourself throw up early." Roxas chided.

"I'm fine." Axel looked nervous.

"So…" He said after a pause. "What do you want to know?"

Axel refused to look at Roxas when he asked the question. Roxas thought about this for a long moment before asking the first thing that had been bugging him since Demyx's apartment.

"What do you like about this person?"

Axel blinked, "Um, I guess…"

He thought about it for a tedious beat, "I guess it's his personality. It's a he after all," Axel mentioned as an afterthought.

"I figured as much." Roxas replied, motioning for him to continue after a sip of his drink.

"Well, he's not…boring. He's fun to be around and he's very interesting. He's smart as hell, really literate, but he can also kick back and have fun. I guess I like him because of what he doesn't see in himself."

"Doesn't see?"

"He has a bad image of who he thinks he is."

"How so?" Roxas was almost afraid to ask.

"I dunno… Inferiority complex, probably. Anything else?" Axel reasoned, really wanting to get this over with.

Roxas locked their eyes together and it made Axel nervous so he gnawed on his lip. Roxas on the other hand wasn't sure where he wanted this to go because his brain was hollering at him and his heart was screaming at him and they were both shrieking different tunes.

"I… don't think he's a good person for you." Roxas hesitantly added, more for the reaction.

"Wha- Why?" Axel was indigent.

"You deserve someone who knows who they are and someone who knows about you. Someone who can laugh with you and talk about stuff you have in common and who you can just spend a quiet night with. I think you should be with someone who will understand why you do the things you do and appreciate the music you listen to and-" Roxas rambled on, not realizing he was saying half the stuff.

Axel gave him a queer expression, eyes sharp and full of question.

"And who's to say this person doesn't have those qualities?" He hedged cautiously. Roxas blushed heavily.

"I… don't know." Roxas muttered, his face feeling like it was on fire.

"I just don't want you dating someone I don't approve of!" He insisted.

Roxas wasn't sure who he was trying to convince, Axel or himself. He already knew that Axel like him, so why was he trying to redeem himself in Axel's eyes? Maybe he was just crazy. That was actually sounding pretty plausible at this point.

"How do you know you wouldn't approve of this person?"

"I…. just do."

"…Because it isn't you?" Axel finally ventured slowly, carefully.

He was watching Roxas' every move, the nervous twitching and scattered disposition. When he spoke those words Roxas's eyes snapped to him unhinged. The cool, collected Roxas which Axel had known for so long was gone, leaving a timid nervous boy in its wake.

"T-that's not it!" Roxas stammered.

Axel leaned over the table, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. A lurch of unfathomable hope was seeping into him.

"Do you want to know who it is?" Axel asked softly in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Not really." Roxas pushed himself farther back into the chair and away from Axel. Axel raised an eyebrow at his out-of-character behavior and sighed.

"Make up your mind, Roku."

Roxas looked down at his lap. He knew how Axel meant that to sound but for Roxas it came across as something completely different.

He knew he needed to choose between giving this a chance or not, but it scared the hell out of him because he somehow got the feeling that Axel would work out with him. And that Roxas did like him way more than he should. But what if everything turned out wrong?

The whole idea of a relationship where both people liked each other equally was the fucking scariest thing Roxas ever encountered. People that he'd dated before he'd dated to get to know them and decide. But he knew Axel already. He knew the boy's likes and dislikes and favorite foods and colors and seasons. He knew what he looked like when he was jealous or upset or sad. And Axel knew all that about him too. Gripping his pants tightly, Roxas made up his mind.

"You can't date that person." He stated in a hard voice. Axel was crestfallen.

"Why?"

Roxas didn't want Axel to know that he had spied on him, after all, "Because you have to date me first."

"…." Axel was floored. His eyebrows shot high on his forehead and his mouth gaped open.

"Um!" Roxas yelped, scrambling for an excuse to the sudden confession, "It's just because, well, you know Sora and Riku, a-and they are so loud at night and I need someone to help me fend them off for a while and I was thinking, you know, since you're my best friend at all that maybe-"

Roxas was cut off when Axel clamped his hand over his mouth. A jolt of electricity dove through Roxas's body at the contact. He shivered.

"I like you, Roxas." Axel steadily informed him, removing his hands in favor of cupping a flushed cheek.

"Like?" Roxas's echoed, feeling elated yet doomed at the same time.

Axel gave him a long look, "I want to date you, Roku. Kiss, hug, other sickly romantic shit, you know?"

"Um, okay." Was Roxas's eloquent response.

But the smile that Axel showered him afterwards was completely worth all that stress Roxas promptly decided, because it was the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen. Axel's hand tangled in his hair and Roxas leaned forward letting his hands drop on top of Axel's. Axel was positively glowing, he looked like he'd just won the lottery.

Roxas was still blushing, but it didn't stop him from pushing forward impulsively and locking his lips onto his… boyfriend?

Wow, that word sounded stupid. But fucking awesome nonetheless.

And so was the kiss too, by the way.

Both had kissed other people before, Axel quite a few more than Roxas, but it wasn't nearly the same at all. Because it wasn't the act of kissing that they found breathtaking, it was who they were kissing. It was a firm but chaste brushing of contact and Roxas pulled away like he'd been burned but Axel was still pretty damn stoked with how this whole situation was turning out. They both gasped for breath and looked at each other for a long moment.

They stared.

And stared.

And suddenly they darted forward in unison, Axel's chair thudding against the hardwood floors as he tried to pull Roxas closer. Axel all but lifted Roxas up, pooled him onto his lap, and devoured his mouth. This time it was open mouthed wet kisses, audible smacking noises, and wet tongues sliding against one another.

Axel grasped at either side of Roxas's waist, fitting him down easily into his lap. Roxas gasped into the kiss and his hands became tangled in fire red locks. He desperately nipped at Axel's lower lip and felt Axel's fingers lift his shirt a bit, scrapping his nails at the skin he found there. Roxas' tongue lapped against Axel's, his lips bruising with attention and his heart thrumming in his ears. .

After a good minute of doing this they pulled back, but only centimeters apart to catch their breath. Roxas was shocked at what just happened.

He'd known Axel for two years and he was just finding out that the boy was an awesome kisser? Talk about wasted time.

Roxas pulled away just a tad farther and giggled inwardly at the heady lusty glazed look Axel was giving him. His green eyes were half lidded and completely content. Roxas swooped in for a quick kiss. Then another. Axel groaned and let his forehead fall against Roxas's. He was breathing heavily.

"Thank god, thank god." Axel chanted breathlessly. Roxas quirked an eyebrow.

"You don't believe in god, Aku, or have you forgotten?" Axel nuzzled his nose while chuckling softly.

"I'm so glad that we had this discussion." He informed Roxas playfully.

Roxas rolled his eyes and snorted, looping his arms around the redhead's neck. He too was secretly relieved that things turned out this way. Not that he would ever in a million years let Axel know that he thought that.

"Fuck off and die."

Axel laughed openly, completely carefree, leaning down and brushing his lips against Roxas's.

Roxas complied without hesitation; he was currently basking in the feeling of being in such a close proximity to Axel. Reaching behind him he grabbed his drink and took a lazy sip, purposely letting a little dribble down his chin. Axel eagerly licked the sweet flavor up, their lips meeting easily. Roxas brought his arm up to wipe up the remaining trail of wetness.

Roxas finally let out a loud laugh too, seating himself more firmly on Axel's thin waist and letting his crotch roll down, creating pleasurable friction. Axel released a whine.

"Let's get drunk and make out." Roxas teased, taking a long swig of his drink. He got up off Axel's lap and walked a couple steps away, hips swinging.

"That sounds like the best fucking plan we've made all night." Axel agreed, standing up and promptly invading Roxas's usual personal space bubble.

Roxas found himself oddly compliant. Axel steered Roxas towards the kitchen to make themselves another drink.

And Roxas, that night as he cuddled next to Axel on his huge bed, taking up only one side instead of the usual two, decided that the day hadn't been all that bad. Sure his moped had died, but he had Axel to mooch rides off of. And sure it rained, but that's what indoors were for anyway, right? And even if things were confusing or overwhelming, Roxas found himself okay with that. Because maybe best friends could become boyfriends and they didn't have to be a walking stereotype or a disgustingly sweet couple like his brother and Riku. Maybe they could just be who they were, only modified.

So as they twined their fingers together before passing into unconsciousness, Roxas decided that he wasn't oddly complacent with this situation. He was happily so.