Okay, so I know. I'm bad. I haven't updated A Life So Changed, but in my defense, I've been a tad busy. My exams are coming up and I've had a paper to write and - gah! But anyways, I saw the trailer last night. You realize, of course, that this is the last first trailer EVER for Harry Potter, right? Yeah, well...I almost fainted. Anyways, I came up with this one-shot because of the trailer. It was because I saw Snape walking to the Potter's house and I could see every emotion on his face (Alan Rickman is such an awesome actor!) and I swear, you could see all the fear mixed with pain in his face and I wanted to write about it. So here is the result. I'm terrible sorry if it's horrible! Also, this was inspired by two songs from Breaking Benjamin: Dancing With Devil and Dear Agony. I suppose Anthem of Angels helped me a bit, too. But yeah. The last line in this is actually a line from Dear Agony. Enjoy!

NOTE: This DOES contain direct quotations from the Deathly Hallows! Oh. And spoilers, too. But hey. If you haven't read the book yet...why are you reading this? Just curious...
Disclaimer: I'm not Jo...

-LovelyAlice831-

He promised he would keep her safe, right? Right? He promised. She's safe. He promised. So why am I so worried?

I paced around my old room, my right hand unconsciously clutching my left arm as I felt something was wrong. No, nothing was wrong. No, she was safe. And, regretfully, so was that blasted husband and child of hers. But no. They could die as long as she was safe.

Several hours later, I stood in front of the fire in the parlor room, a half-empty glass of Firewhiskey in my hand when there was a loud CRACK.

I spun and saw Lucius Malfoy standing in the center of the room, his pale face sweaty and ashen.

"Lucius, what is it?" I asked him, setting aside my glass and walking quickly to his side.

He clutched my arm and his pale eyes found mine.

"He's gone, Severus," he gasped.

"Who's gone, Lucius?" I asked him, the feeling of terror creeping up on me once more. "Who is it, Lucius? What's happened?"

"The Dark Lord is gone," Lucius said. "He's dead."

I felt the world fall around me. My throat seemed to tighten and my blood ran cold.

"How?" I asked him. "How did he die?"

"The boy," Lucius said, straightening up. "The Potter boy. He…he somehow defeated the Dark Lord."

"The child defeated the Dark Lord?" I asked him, unable to keep the disbelief out of my voice.

Lucius shook his ehad. "I know. It's seems…strange. A child should be able to defeat the Dark Lord, but I swear it, he is dead. Gone."

"And the child's parents?" I asked, trying to sound uncaring. "I suppose they're gone too?"

Lucius nodded and the edges of my vision grew black, but I clung to consciousness.

"Right," I said. "Leave, now, before the Ministry gets here and takes us both."

"What will you say?" Lucius asked me.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure yet, but I shall think of something. I will not go to Azkaban that much I am certain of. Be safe, my friend."

Lucius nodded and Disapparated.

As soon as he was gone, I collapsed to the floor, my hands pulling my hair.

No, no, no, no….She couldn't be gone. Not my sweet Lily. No, she wasn't dead. Lucius was mistaken. Dumbledore said he would keep her – them – safe. He swore it!

I got to my feet, took a deep breath, and Disapparated.

The familiar pressure on my lungs didn't bother me as my thoughts were otherwise occupied.

I Apparated into Godric's Hollow and set off at a quick pace to where I knew her house was, but as soon as I got near without it actually being in sight, my steps faltered and I was standing, shaking, in a little alley before her house.

"You're being ridiculous, Severus," I muttered to myself. "She's alive and well."

With that feeble comforting thought, I made my way slowly through the little alley. I held my breath as her house came into view – and a cry escaped my lips.

The little house was in ruins, the right side blasted where the Dark Lord's curse must have backfired. If I knew the Dark Lord well enough, I knew he would've used the Killing Curse to just end the child. But what made the curse backfire? And who did he kill first? Was it Lily? Or was it James? It was probably James, I thought numbly as I gaped at the house. Lily would've tried to protect her son, that was how little she cared of herself next to someone she loved.

She was gone. She was really gone. Lily was dead and I would never see her again.

Memories flashed through my mind: it was the summer before we started Hogwarts and I was telling her about the school and the Wizarding world. It was our third year and Lily had a glass of Butterbeer that she had chugged in her hands, the foam of the warm frothy drink on the tip of her nose. It was our fifth year, right after our last O.W.L and I had just called her a Mudblood.

God, why did I have to call her that?

That question haunted me ever since I said it, and I still remember the hurt in her eyes when I went to apologize to her that night. No, nothing I said would ever change her mind. Not that it mattered, she married Potter anyways.

Lily's laughing face floated into my vision and an odd noise escaped my lips.

"Lily…," I gasped.

I Disapparated to Hogsmeade where, as soon as I found my bearings, I quickly walked up the sloping lawn to the oaken front doors, my steps never faltering as I made my way to his office.

I gave the password and practically ran up the steps where I knocked, hard, on his doors.

"Come in," came the reply.

I burst into his office, much to his surprise.

"Severus!" he cried, getting to his feet.

I staggered to his desk and opened my mouth, but no sound came out.

Dumbledore came out from behind his desk and gently pushed me into a chair, where I slumped forward, my hands over my face. And suddenly, sobs racked my body. Dumbledore said nothing, just stood there silently until I finally lifted my head and said, "I thought…you were going…to keep her…safe…."

"She and James put their faith in the wrong person," Dumbledore said after a moment. "Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"

It felt like I couldn't get enough air and my breathing grew shallow.

"Her boy lives," Dumbledore said softly.

A flicker of annoyance flashed through me. Did he not think I knew that already? Of course I knew that retched child lived.

"Her son lives," Dumbledore continued. "He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans eyes, I am sure?"

"DON'T!" I heard myself shout. "Gone…dead…."

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

"I wish…I wish I were dead…."

"And what use would that be to anyone?" Dumbledore asked me coldly. "If you loved Lily Evans, truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

I stared up at Dumbledore without really seeing him. what did he mean? My way forward to what is clear?

"What – what do you mean?"

"You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."

"He does need protection," I said quickly, without emotion. "The Dark Lord has gone –"

"The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does."

I thought about it for a moment. Protect Harry Potter? Protect James's son? Fat chance! But then, if I protected Harry, I would be doing it for Lily, not Potter.

After a few more minutes, I took a deep breath and said, "Very well. Very well. But never – never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear…especially Potter's son…I want your word!"

"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore sighed, looking at me.

I gave him a determined stare and he sighed again.

"I you insist…"

I nodded and left moments later. Fifteen minutes later, I was back in my parlor and it was then that I allowed myself to succumb to the pain of losing Lily Evans forever. I felt nothing anymore.

I hope you liked it! And please review what you thought! I know...it's terrible...but review? Kthanks!

-LovelyAlice831-