Title: Bound
Author: SomethingIDontknow
Rating: M (For swearing, alcohol usage, self mutilation, gay romance/sex)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. It'd be one twisted show if I did.
Author's Note: Alrighty, everyone, I'm back. This is the hardly long awaited, and not much anticipated sequel to Taken, my first OroKashi fic. I know, I know, at the end of Taken I said the sequel would probably be KashiIruka. Well… things change.
Summary: After being abandoned, Kakashi is tormented by his rejection and his own desire. He loses himself in alcohol and self mutilation. One night he goes too far and is saved by the angel he never though he'd see again.
Kakashi was sitting at a seedy bar on the wrong side of the city. The first shot down his throat was bitter. The next was even worse. He hated being this way. But he couldn't seem to change it. His forearms were marked with both scars of bar fights and self inflicted wounds. He didn't even know why he was here. He had once been a great man. A great warrior. And then he had been Taken. He tried not to remember the particulars of it. But he remembered liking it. Remembered begging for more. And he hated it. He hated himself for being so weak, hated the man who had done it for being so right. By the sixth shot, he was starting to get a buzz. It was the only way he knew how to kill the pain. The drinking, the blade. The only releases he had. Only when he was sober and healing could he think clearly. Could he realize that he hated that he had liked it. He hated that when he had been left at the gates of his village, he had hurt. He hated that he wanted all of it back. The sickness of it disgusted him. And so he drank his clarity away and created a new ache to turn the focus from his heart. For weeks after being released from the hospital, he had gone to sleep alone and lonely, praying he would wake to the feel of a cool, gentle hand. Sure, he'd given the schoolteacher a try. But it wasn't the same. It never could be. And he had tried. And hard. He knew better. He knew better than to hope for the passion of a killer from schoolteacher. He knew better than to hope for midnight touches when he had been so clearly and harshly abandoned. They had had their fun and left him to rot on his own, burning up and out. And on the thirteenth shot, he stood from the bar with a waiver. He staggered home and found his box of razors. Flipping one between his fingers, he drunkenly considered what the first cut was for. "for being weak." that was always a good starter. Next, "for being sick." oldie but goodie. Then, "for being pathetic." that had the added bonus of being a insult. Finally, "for being so bad that not even the fucking rapists want you any more." that deserved at least three in one. He was bleeding, but that was nothing new. He wiped up the blood haphazardly with a wet towel before tumbling onto his bed. What point was there to it all if he was just going to wake up tomorrow and do it again? "tomorrow," he slurred aloud to himself, "tomorrow I'll just finish it off." he passed out planning it all.
When Kakashi woke, it was not in his bed. He was tucked neatly into a clean bed, his forearms bandaged properly. Slowly, he blinked a few times. He must have gotten fucked up last night. In a flash of memory, he remembered his vow the night before. With a groan, Kakashi rolled over, preparing to stand. He found his arm jerked back. Turning back, he found his wrist firmly tied to the bed with a strip of soft white linen. His other hand was bound as well. He blinked rapidly, feeling nauseous. "ah, I don't imagine you feel well." someone said nearby. But Kakashi was too sick to notice who. One hand was freed and he was helped up. The instant his head cleared the edge of the bed, he was sicking up into a wastebasket at the bedside. He heaved for several painful minutes while a small hand stroked back his hair and an arm wrapped around his middle. He eased off, panting. His nurse knelt at his side, tipping his face up to wipe his mouth.
Kakashi felt like a child, weak and ashamed of his sickness. Blinking, he looked up at his caretaker. Concerned dark eyes watched him from behind bottle bottom glasses. Kabuto sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "we were afraid we had lost you for a while there. The alcohol was killing you." the medical nin glared at him, "If you ever worry me, or the Master, like that again, I will revive you, just to kill you." Kakashi closed his eyes, sick and confused. In the darkness, soft lips pressed to his very lightly. "never frighten us like that again." Kabuto whispered, "come on, lie down, you need to rest. The Master will be in to check on you." Kabuto helped Kakashi lie back. The older man began to protest when the Sound nin began binding his wrist again. "don't worry, you're done being sick. The Master just doesn't want you to hurt yourself. He heard what you said last night. You are to stay bound until he is assured of your safety." the Copy Nin relaxed a little. He was tired. And weak. And it felt good to know he was cared for. Even if the treatment was a little less than ordinary. "rest, Hatake Kakashi, the Master will see you tomorrow." Kabuto whispered, kissing Kakashi's forehead. He slept without fear.
Soft lips pressed firmly to his. A flicker of light across lenses, making dark eyes seem to flash in the dim light. Teeth sinking into his lower lip with a contradictory tenderness. Those lithe hands holding him close, holding him up. His breath catching, heart racing, eyes closing, pulse pounding-
He sat up rather suddenly, was jerked back by his bonds and smacked back against the mattress with a grunt. Kakashi panted with the force of the dream. His limbs trembled and he was achingly hard. The room was dark now, moonlight filtering though a sheer curtained window a few meters away. "are you remembering again?" a voice asked from the darkness. that voice. Kakashi turned his head, breath caught in his throat. A shadow in the corner of the room stood. it seemed to uncoil as it came to full height with a liquid grace. The leaf nin felt all desire to flee drain from his body, only to be replaced by a burning elixir. "it's you." he breathed, staring up into golden eyes. Those brilliant eyes softened and the serpent nodded. "yes. Its me." with that startling grace, Orochimaru knelt at the bedside. Kakashi's heart was racing, a blush rising to his face. Orochimaru touched his neck gently, caressing his pulse with his fingertips. "I can't tell you, my pet… I've missed you dearly." the raven whispered, looking down at Kakashi with smoldering eyes. Kakashi gasped, a violent shiver tearing down his spine. That touch was so familiar. And it still seared like it was his first time under another man's caress. "why?" he asked hoarsely, "if you missed me, why did you leave me so long? Why did you take me back?"
His heart ached, he needed to know. Until this moment, Kakashi had refused to understand why his kidnapping had hurt him so. He understood now. It had not been the fear and horror of rape, but the humiliation and shame of abandonment. Orochimaru put an elbow on the bed and cupped his chin. "well, I suppose I should've known better. Giving you a drug and a promise like that and abandoning you. But I honestly didn't expect you'd loose it like you did. I thought you hated it here. You seemed to struggle with it so." "I had learned." Kakashi whispered through his distress, "I learned accept what I was. I understood that this had always been a part of me. You were merely bringing me to live. And then you left me. Without guidance, without comfort, without care. And it nearly killed me." the Master nodded silently, kissing Kakashi's fingers. Finally he said, "now that you are home, I can trust you not to harm yourself?" "I only considered that because I thought returning to you was an impossibility. Im home. I have no need for such action any longer." Kakashi said firmly. "then," Orochimaru said with a mischievous smirk, "there must be another reason you are still bound to this bed." Kakashi found himself smiling. "I could think of a few." "im sure."
A/N: Well you go. Please, let me know what you think. I don't feel like I've read over it enough. If you spot any mistakes, I'll be glad to fix them. Again, Read and Review and I'll love you forever.