Another humorous Xenoblade 2 one-shot! Hope you enjoy!

A Historical Interview?

A Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS for the end of the game. You have been warned.

It was another pleasant day in Torigoth, Gormott. Even though there was now an 'Elysium' for humanity to live and prosper on, many Gormotti still preferred to remain in their old home on the Titan. Though it was strange to look down and see blue water instead of the Cloud Sea these days...

It was also the permanent residence of Tora the Nopon engineer, as well as his artificial Blade, Poppi, two of the heroes from what was quickly becoming known as the second Aegis War. And on this day, it just so happened that the primary heroes, that is, the two Aegises that had once been one, as well as their Driver, were paying a visit.

And so our brief tale begins...

"Morning, Tora!" called Rex as he and Pyra entered Tora's home. "We didn't come too early, did we?"

"*Yawn*... Morning, Rex-Rex," Tora grunted as rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Tora was woke by Dadapon yelling when Lila throw him out with garbage again..."

"What?! I-is he okay?!" Pyra gasped.

"Professor Tatazo just fine!" Poppi asserted. "Not first time this happen..."

"Anyway... why Rex-Rex and Pyra here so early?" Tora asked. "And where Mythra?"

"Well, see, we were actually hoping you knew," Rex said. "When Pyra and I got up this morning, she was nowhere to be found..."

"We're afraid she might've gone sleepwalking again," Pyra explained.

"No! No sleepwalking!" An older Nopon voice spoke up, Tora's father waddling into the room. "Tatazo just see Mythra, she wide awake!"

"You saw her?! Where?" Rex inquired eagerly.

"Heading toward back of town!" Tatazo stated. "Tatazo also see Ardainian man with her! Maybe Mythra give up on Rex and find new boyfriend?"

"Meh-meh, Dadapon..." Tora groaned, shaking his head. "Even Tora know better than that! Mythra only have eyes for Rex-Rex, even Tora can see that!"

"That right! Chance of Mythra having new boyfriend less than 10%!" Poppi also asserted.

"Masterpon's powers of observation leave much to be desired," Lila piled on.

"B-but then, why Mythra follow random stranger?!" Tatazo pointed out.

"I'm sure there's a rational explanation," Pyra spoke up, partially to save the elder Nopon from further criticism. "But we won't find out unless we go see for ourselves..."

"Right," Rex nodded. "But it should just be me and Pyra, otherwise Mythra might get upset..."

And so, a few minutes later, the red-headed Aegis and her Driver made their way to the farmland adjacent to Torigoth Relay Base... Looking around, Rex spotted Mythra sitting on the stone wall that acted as a fall barrier to the marshy wilderness below, and a middle-aged Ardainian man across from the blonde Blade, conversing with her. As they walked up, the man's voice became clear...

"...So Addam did NOT actually like spicy food?"

"You got it," Mythra nodded. "Even a hint of spice would have had him running for the latrine..."

"Too much information," the man winced. "I'll just write that it gave him an upset stomach..." He then became aware that he was being watched, looking up and seeing Rex and Pyra standing there. "Ah! Lady Pyra, I presume... your timing is fortuitous."

"And who might you be?" the fire Blade asked politely.

"Oh, just a humble historian," the Ardainian replied. "I happened to bump into Lady Mythra earlier... literally, in fact- so I managed to convince her to sit down for an interview. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn about the Aegis War from the perspective of the Aegis herself!"

"You literally bumped into her?" Rex mused, putting a hand behind his head. "I'm surprised she didn't smack you for that or somethin'..."

"Well, actually..." Mythra looked down, blushing slightly. "He kind of, uh, saved me from an embarrassing situation..."

"I did? How so?" the historian inquired curiously.

"Let me guess, you were sleepwalking again?" Pyra sighed, getting a silent, embarrassed nod in response.

"Wha-? Again? Seriously?" Rex deadpanned.

"Y-you sleepwalk?!" the Ardainian gasped in mild shock.

"Could you please leave that little factoid out of your history book?!" The blonde Aegis pleaded. "You did promise you wouldn't get too personal..."

"I had a feeling that was the case," Pyra sighed. "You're almost never up that early in the morning, after all..."

"No need to worry, milady, my lips are sealed," the historian promised. "Anyway, as I was saying, Lady Pyra, would it be too much trouble for you to indulge me for a little while? I'd also like to hear your perspective on historical events..."

"Well, uh..." the redhead hesitated. "You have to understand, I wasn't even created until near the time that we were sealed away by Addam..."

"I wasn't necessarily speaking of the Aegis War," the man clarified. "I'd like to hear your point of view on the more recent conflict, if that's all right..."

"Well... OK, sure," Pyra agreed. "Though like Mythra said, I'd rather not get too personal..."

"'Cause if you do, you know what'll happen," Mythra stated pointedly.

The historian gulped. "Y-yes, ma'am."

"Well, in that case, how 'bout we go for a short walk and leave 'em be for a bit?" Rex suggested.

"...Fine," the blonde Aegis acquiesced. "Just try not to, like, take my hand or anything... we don't need rumors spreading."

"Alright," the salvager shrugged in response. "See ya in a few, Pyra!" he called as he and Mythra sauntered off together.

A short time later, the two returned, just in time to hear Pyra finishing up an answer to the historian's inquiry.

"...that's right, she never met a more wonderful man than Addam. Although..." Pyra slyly glanced over to her sister and her Driver. "...I can't help but wonder if Rex has dethroned him, so to speak."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Mythra growled. "I thought you agreed not to get too personal..."

"Well, I thought you said you didn't want to hold hands with Rex," Pyra deftly dodged the question. "But that's exactly what you're doing."

"H-hey, she grabbed MY hand!" the young boy protested. "And she wouldn't let go, either!"

"Uh..." Mythra glanced down at their joined hands, as if only becoming aware of it for the first time, swiftly yanking her hand away. "You, uh, didn't see that," she stammered, blushing profusely.

"Having a romantic attraction to your Driver is hardly abnormal, milady," the historian assured her. "Though I wonder if your creation of Pyra reflected a subconscious desire of yours..."

"What do you mean, 'subconscious'?" The blonde Aegis shot back. "Pyra was created as an additional seal on my power to prevent abuse. That's all."

"And yet her personality differs so much from yours..." the man pondered. "Whereas you are prickly and blunt, Lady Pyra is warm and compassionate, not to mention I hear she's a great cook... it's almost as if you made her to be the perfect girlfriend, seeing as your attraction to Addam didn't pan out..."

"What." Mythra said flatly, one of her eyes twitching. Alarm bells suddenly started ringing in both Rex and Pyra's minds...

"Um, you do realize, I like them both..." Rex tried to smooth things over, to no avail.

"I warned you about getting too personal..." Mythra growled as she marched up to the Ardainian, "And you just crossed the line." She grabbed the man in a headlock.

"Ack! No, wait! I'm sorry! I take it all back!" the man stammered as he began to be dragged off.

"Too little, too late, pervert," the blonde Blade stated. "Now comes your punishment!"

"No! Stop! Hot! HOT! AGONY! It buuuuurrrnnnnss!"

"NO! Madam Aegis, what are you doing to my husband?!"

"Punishing him for his infidelity! You'll thank me later!"

"Noooooo! I'm soooorrrryyyyy!"

"Uh..." Rex blinked in disbelief, before turning to Pyra. "You think we should, uh, intervene?"

"Yeah, we probably should," the redhead nodded. "Before things get out of hand..."

And so, the two rushed in to defuse the situation...

~*Fin*~

That poor historian... but honestly, I can't help but wonder the same thing... anyway, review!