I crept down the corridor, being careful to stay in the shadows. It was well after curfew and if Filch spotted me... well, even my sainted Head Girl reputation wasn't enough to keep my cute ass out of detention. The night air was cool and dry, perfect for hellacious static to set in to my hair, giving my cornrows a slight crackle as I passed the snoring paintings and leaning suits of armor. Past the manticore statue… third door on the left….knock four times high, twice low and wait… I stand outside that door, feeling very exposed without a defense of darkness. Oh shit… What if it was tap twice low and then four times high instead?!... This is taking too long... Just when I'm ready to leave, to skulk back to my room and wait another week for another meeting, the door cracks open and two brown eyes peer out. "Well fuck, Hermione! We thought you weren't gonna make it!" And with that lovely greeting I am pulled inside by two strong brown arms.

I have to blink several times and wait for my eyes to adjust before I can make out the people in the room. Make out. It's joke, see? Since several people in the room were in fact, making out. Silently, I sighed. Why do they have to do that here? It's not like they can't get busy somewhere else… Oh yeah… they can't. Hannah Abbott. Luna Lovegood. Michael Corner. Blaise Zabini. Pansy, alone, in the corner with a mug of tea. That Bones girl with the turned up nose I can't abide. Many others chat around the fireplace. I turn to Padma Patil, my welcome committee. "Sorry, I had to dodge Ron in the Common Room. The one night he decides to stay up late studying, can you believe it? I told him I was heading to a supplementary Astronomy session. Am I the last one in?"

Padma nods. "Yeah. Hannah was late too, but she brought pastries so I think she's forgiven. Pansy's over there…" She leans in and whispers "She's in a bit of a mood, girl. Just a warning." With that, she walks over to Hannah and rests her head on the smaller girl's shoulder. Hannah leans back into the circle of protection provided by Padma's arms. I linger by the door, enjoying the sight of two women so comfortable together. I remember just months ago Padma yelling at me, with frightened eyes and a defensive posture, "Fuck you, Hermione! I'm no dyke! Leave me alone!". Now look at her, caressing a woman's body, easy as pie. I forgive her. Years of cultural influence and family beliefs can really fuck with a nice girl's head.

Speaking of fucking with a girl's head, my weekly dose of mind fuck was sitting in an armchair with a mug of tea and a sullen expression. I take a deep breath; flip my braids over my shoulder and walk over, trying not to trip over the snuggling couples on the floor.

I crouch in front of Pansy, taking the mug outta her hands before she can throw it at me. Setting it on the floor, I look up and make puppy eyes at her. "Hey Baby… Why the long face? It's pretty but still…" I let my words trail off as I try to smooth the wrinkles between her brows.

Pansy swats my hands away. "Oh stop it! Don't touch me! You know why I'm pissed, so don't try to sweet talk me. Just go" She flops back in to the chair and crosses her arms. All it does is make her look adorable. V-neck sweater that shows her frighteningly deep cleavage. Short clingy denim skirt over knee high stockings. She's kicked off some expensive fur- lined boots that are lying rejected next to me on the floor. Her black hair has the distinctive shimmer of pomade and glossing spray. No matter what she says now, she definitely dressed to impress tonight. Impress me. Good.

"Fine. Be that way." I slowly stand up and step back. Raising my arms up in a faux-stretch that shows my body off in an I'm so sexy I'm bored to death pose. I too prepared my outfit this evening with special caring. Tight black pants I'd ripped to achieve that 200 quid look for nothing. A black boat neck sweater that my hot pink bra "accidentally" glows through. Some surprisingly lightweight waffle-stomper black boots that keep my feet warm while I'm sneaking through Hogwarts after hours. They also make me look like a badass. Faking a yawn, I peek at Pansy through slit eyes. She's flushed and I know she's thinking of me. And how I look without my clothes. Perfect.

I walk off and wait for her to call my name. I don't have to wait long.

"Hermione!"

Goal achieved, I can now walk back knowing I won. Innocent eyes time.

"Yes? Are we talking now?"

She hangs her head. "I'm sorry. It's just… I haven't gotten a chance to talk to you all week. So I have to see you talk to every girl and guy but me. Except when we're having our fake fights." Her head hung impossibly lower. "I hate this…. whole situation. Why does everything have to be so hard for us?"

My victory glee melts as I see the obvious pain in her eyes. I lean over and wrap an arm around her shoulders. "It's just hard for us right now. Things will get better. We just have to wait. I promise." Squeezing her extra hard so she knows I'm serious, I lean us back so we're both resting against the chair's rich velvet upholstery. "How can I make it better?" I whisper in her ear.

Her voice was rough, through gritted teeth. "I'm tired of hiding. I want to bring our relationship out in to the sun."

I turn to face her slightly. "'In the sun'? Listen to you. We're not hiding. We're just…. keeping quiet. It's preferable to being gossiped about. Can't you wait 'till graduation?". I stroke her side gently. "And graduation night?"

Pansy wriggles away from me. "Stop trying to distract me! I'm tired of waiting all week just to see you. Not to have to pretend to be a bitch and call you names." Her voice cracks as she says "I almost vomited calling you a Mudblood on Tuesday." In the firelight she looks soft and vulnerable, her eyes glittering with tears as well as the flickering light of the flames. "Think of how wonderful it'd be to walk down the corridor and smile at each other. Think of how wonderful it'd be to walk to our next class together. Call me a fool but I dream of a day soon where that can happen."

She stands up, furiously wipes her eyes, and strides over to join the crowd around Padma and Blaise arm-wrestling.

I'm stuck in this chair, digesting what she said. Of course I dreamed of things like that too, but I was never naïve enough to think such a thing could happen before we left Hogwarts. The teachers barely tolerated the heterosexual couples and their canoodling. Who knew what would happen when a bunch of queer couples started strolling down the halls and kissing outside the classrooms? But still…. She raises some good points… Why can't we? I've worked my ass off getting the best grades in the school. I was twice as smart as any Ravenclaw! Pansy and I were both fuckin' prefects. I'm Head Girl. We didn't have one student in our little group with a cruel bone in their body. Why did we have to hide?

I'm confused. I thought I knew where I stood on this matter. But as I sit here in this chair, listening to the soft murmurings of my classmates snuggling, watching the victorious Padma flash the Loser Sign at Blaise, I'm not sure. I had to smuggle my outfit out in my book bag, get changed in the Head Girl's bathroom, and creep around in the dark, just to see my girlfriend. She's worth it. Definitely. No doubt. Even if she can be a serious douche bag when she's not even trying to pretend she hates me. Even if I'm not getting laid tonight. I love her.

I glance over at Pansy, acting so calm now, so casual while chatting with Hannah. Am I the only one who can see the tightness around her mouth? The slight frown line in her forehead?

God damn it.

Am I really going to out our secret club?