Beth was nine when she met Kenzi. It was summer, festival time, and Beth had ended up in festival daycare, one of the oldest stuck still being babied by her overprotective parents. Kenzi was three years old and trying her damnedest to hold conversation, succeeding mostly in a lot of animated babble. The little girl latched to Beth like a barnacle. At first it annoyed the older girl, but Kenzi was so lovely and happy she wore Beth down.
Kenzi still had trouble with the 'th' sound, tried out calling Beth "Bebe", but ended up disliking it and changing it to Bobo.
That summer Kenzi followed Beth around like a duckling. At the end of summer she went back home to the big city. Beth missed her little tagalong, but school adequately distracted and childhood went on.
The next summer Kenzi returned, four years old and much better at forming full and coherent sentences. She could also say Beth, but continued to call her older friend Bobo. Beth didn't mind. She enjoyed having a younger girl to teach, who idolized her like she was a big sister.
Kenzi's grandmother lived not far from Beth and was more than happy to bring hyper Kenzi over every day except Sundays, which Beth's parents kept as a day of rest with only minimal tending to farm duties. Every other day Beth and Kenzi spent time together, sometimes even full days.
Beth was startled and amused to find that Kenzi was more mischievous than she had ever been. Beth was raised to be polite and well behaved. Kenzi, who had no siblings but many rambunctious cousins, was raised in an environment fighting for attention.
It was quite easy for Beth to offer her own attention. And being around Kenzi encouraged Beth to take more risks, be more spontaneous. It was weird having a little kid teach Beth things, but she kind of adored the rascal, so she wasn't put out.
That year when Kenzi left she promised to write. Beth had laughed this off, knowing Kenzi was only four and could barely spell her name. Not two weeks after Kenzi's departure a letter came and, to Beth's surprise, there was a page of writing. Adult handwriting, ending with a child scrawl of "Kenzi" at the bottom. Beth had doubled over giggling, imagining young Kenzi standing on a chair and dictating to her father everything to write. It would be her father, not her mother, because Kenzi had always been a daddy's girl.
They kept in touch throughout the year, sending letters back and forth every month or so. When Kenzi returned for summer there was no catching up needed, and they fell into their old routine easy as pie.
The next year, halfway between summers, the letters stopped. Beth was worried, but not comfortable asking Kenzi's grandmother anything and with no other means of contact, Beth waited.
Kenzi came back. Six years old now, but with a gravity they suggested she was older, Kenzi informed Beth that her daddy had died. Beth had held onto her little friend with all her strength and spent all summer trying to cheer the girl up. Kenzi seemed to quickly bounce back, but Beth knew that she was putting on a brave face, the same face she'd always worn for skinned knees and that time she'd fallen off the big hay bale.
Beth taught Kenzi how to ride a horse, how to bob for apples at the fair, got her friends to play with Kenzi. Kenzi took to Doug best, calling him "Dougie" and teasing him without end. Kenzi went home that year smiling.
Kenzi tried to write Beth herself. The letters were harder for Beth to read and Beth had to simplify her own with no reliable adult to translate on the other end. Beth wasn't going to let the girl she'd come to think of as family feel lonely.
Their fourth summer together was more cheerful than the one before, the only big news on Kenzi's end being that her mom had gotten a new boyfriend, which Kenzi didn't appreciate. No one could replace her daddy.
Kenzi returned home and suddenly things went strange. Beth would send letters and sometimes got replies that seemed like Kenzi had never gotten them. When Beth would ask, Kenzi would say they must have got lost. The tone of her letters became more forced, letters that would once have held a detailed, rambling and misspelled story from school now would just be colorful, funny drawings and a few words. Beth carried on writing as she would, wondering if Kenzi was getting tired of all the writing.
Kenzi showed up that summer… different. Quieter, pale, wearing a tight grin that didn't reach her eyes. Beth didn't know what was wrong and any broach of the subject Kenzi would ignore or dodge.
That summer, Jessica told Kenzi to stop hanging around so much, calling her an annoying baby. Kenzi hadn't outwardly reacted, but the look of uncertainty and helplessness in Kenzi's eyes broke Beth's heart.
Doug had to stop Beth from punching Jessica in the face.
Her outburst of rage was worth it, seeing the look of happiness on Kenzi's face.
So what if Beth was 14 and Kenzi was only 8? That was Beth's sister Jessica was talking to!
Beth's sister.
And Kenzi had given Beth a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek for her trouble, saying, "I love you, Bobo."
But that year writing was even worse. Beth wrote and Kenzi never answered, sometimes sending a letter to the effect that she was fine, that she missed Bobo. Beth was incredibly worried but had no idea what to do.
When Kenzi came that summer Beth demanded answers and Kenzi finally admitted that her stepfather threw out the letters Beth sent. When Beth demanded to know why, Kenzi just shrugged. She changed the subject quickly and they never quite circled back to it. Beth knew there was more Kenzi wasn't saying, but it had taken her nearly two years to get Kenzi to tell her anything about the mail. Beth wasn't holding her breath. What she now knew though was that Kenzi's stepdad was a massive jerk. Beth wanted to hurt him, and within her something shifted.
She decided she would take care of Kenzi, forever, and the new thing inside her approved.
Beth gave Kenzi her number and the email she'd made using the school computer since her parents didn't have one. Kenzi took it all when she left.
And she vanished.
Not a letter or a call or an email. The weeks bled into months and Beth panicked.
When she finally worked up the courage to go to Kenzi's grandmother, the woman had said, "Such a willful girl," before shutting the door in Beth's face.
The thing inside her roared.
Beth got her driver's license that year and paid Jennifer in a month of math homework to get the girl to cover for her, and Beth drove the hours long trip to Kenzi's address. When she arrived no one was home, so she ended up loitering in her car for the better part of an hour until a car pulled up. Beth waited for the man to get out and enter the house, hatred and anger roiling in her veins at the sight of the man. This was Kenzi's stepfather, who stole Kenzi's mail and made her sister quiet.
Beth got out of her car and marched up to the door, knocking loudly and constantly until the man came back, flinging the door open and snapping, "What? Who are you?"
A younger, more demure Beth would have shrunk under his glare, but Beth just met his glare with one of her own. "Where's Kenzi?"
"What?" The man actually seemed startled, looking over her shoulder as if he might see someone on the street.
"Where. Is. Kenzi," Beth snarled.
"Not here!" The man replied.
"Well where is she? Where can I find her?"
"How should I know?"
Beth's jaw dropped, her eyes narrowed, and she sputtered in disbelief, "How should you know? She lives under your roof, she's your responsibility!"
The man scoffed at this and crossed his arms. "She don't live here no more."
A sinking in her gut made Beth feel physically ill, and for the first time since stomping up to the man's door her voice grew quiet. "What?"
"She's gone."
"With her mom? Can I get their new address?"
"No, Galina is still here."
"What do you mean, still here?! That's her mom! Kenzi is ten years old!"
"So? She run off, didn't she?"
Run off? Ran away? But where could she have gone, where could a ten-year-old even go? Beth couldn't make words come and the man took the opportunity to grumble, "Brat slinks back sometimes, steals my food, but I haven't seen her in a while now."
"She's a little girl, "Beth croaked, fury roaring in her chest. "She's a little girl and you don't know where she is!"
"She's not my kid and good riddance."
Beth blacked out, and when she came to again she was still standing in the door and the man was kneeling on the ground and rubbing his head, looking confused. Beth ran back to her car and took off.
She had no idea what had happened. Had she knocked Kenzi's stepdad over? How had he ended up on the floor? What had she done?
Beth ended up going home. She found some pictures of herself and Kenzi from the summer before, cropped Kenzi and spent the next few days printing Missing Girl flyers, her number large and prominent under Kenzi's face.
The next time she could get away she did, spending hours in the city posting flyers on telephone poles, dropping off stacks in the two police divisions closest to Kenzi's old house. The police seemed uninterested in a sixteen-year-old looking for her friend. Kenzi's own parents didn't file a missing persons report. If a little girl was actually missing, the only person to notice wouldn't be a teenage girl who didn't even live in the city herself.
When Beth went back a few weeks later most of her posters had been ripped down. Beth put them back up.
This went on for a few months, a one person crusade to find a little girl. Beth got a few false alarms, but in the end she got one lead.
Kenzi called herself.
Beth's immediate reaction was relief and she spent the first two minutes of the conversation asking if Kenzi was okay and getting varying replies of "I'm fine" in response. When Kenzi could get a word in edgewise she said, "Bobo, stop posting those flyers."
"I would but people keep tearing them down."
"I know, I tear them down."
"Beth froze. "W-why?"
"Because I don't want to be found, Bobo. I can't- I can't go home."
Beth felt tears grow in her eyes. "Sweetie, you have to go home! You can't just- where do you even live?"
"Around. My cousins let me crash, if I need somewhere to go, but I can take care of myself."
"You're 10, Kenzi!" Beth nearly screamed into the phone.
"… thanks for caring, Bobo. You always did. But summer's over."
"No! If you can't go home, you can come here!"
Kenzi laughed a little. "And how would I get all the way there?"
"I'll come get you!"
Kenzi was quiet, Beth could hear her breathing on the other end. After an eternity she said, "No."
"Why not?!"
"I'm not a fucking burden, Bobo!" Kenzi yelled, and Beth's heart sank. How could she even think that? "And anyway, if I end up at yours, Nana will find out and ship me back. I'm okay, really! I have friends…"
"But you have me, too. You can depend on me, Kenzi, I swear it."
There was sniffling at the other end of the line. "Okay," the other girl replied, and Beth wondered what it would take for Kenzi to believe it.
"I'm always here. And I'm not going to stop posting those flyers if you don't let me know you're doing okay all the time. Call once a week. Got it?"
"I will, Bobo."
Kenzi hung up.
She didn't end up calling once a week, but before Beth could start up with her hunt again she got a postcard. And another. A postcard a week for over a year. No way for Beth to talk back, obviously a purposeful choice on Kenzi's end. It tore Beth to pieces, but no one took her seriously about her missing friend and it was all she could seem to do. She felt so helpless, so useless.
Then one night there was a knock on the door. Beth answered, expecting Kyle or Mel, even Jessica, and instead finding Kenzi on her steps. Taller than she had been over two years before, gaunt and pale and world-wary. Still, she flashed Beth a Kenzi-smile, and before she could get out her greeting of, "Hey Bobo," Beth had her arms around the girl in a tight hug.
Kenzi tensed, as if unused to physical contact now, but in her Bobo's arms she sagged, nearly dragging the older girl down with her as she fell into the hug. Beth laughed through tears and when she leaned back she cupped Kenzi's cheeks in her hands and looked at her with eyes holding all the love in the world. Beth asked where she had been, why she was here now, "Not that I want you anywhere else but where I can see you."
"Things got too crazy in the city," Kenzi tried to explain with a shrug. Beth tilted Kenzi's head back and forth, examining for any injuries, but Kenzi squirmed away clearly uncomfortable about that kind of attention.
"But you're okay? Not hurt?" Beth worried.
"I'm fine, promise," Kenzi said.
Beth tore up the kitchen making Kenzi food, and the thin girl eagerly tore into whatever was placed in front of her. Beth tried to find out how Kenzi had gotten to Beth's in one piece, but Kenzi's reply of "hitchhiked" was left at that, and Beth felt like shaking her friend. How was Kenzi always talking but never about the things Beth wanted to know?
When Beth tried to usher Kenzi upstairs for bed the girl refused and tried to leave.
"Kenzi, you aren't going anywhere," Beth said firmly, putting both hands on the young Russian's shoulders.
"Bobo, I can't stay here. You know your parents will tell my Nana. And she'll send me back- back to them, and I can't survive there one second longer. I'll be fine. I'll hang around town. You'll know where I am now."
"No, no way. My parents don't have to know!"
Kenzi gave Beth an incredulous look. "Are we talking about the same Dennis family? Hover parents extraordinaire?"
Beth tried to smile and shrug off Kenzi's comments. But it was true. Her mother and father were definition helicopter parents. They'd tell on Kenzi in a heartbeat. No way would Beth let Kenzi go back to those monsters of a mom and stepdad. And Kenzi's Nana, Beth wasn't overly fond of the woman after Beth had gone to her for help and she'd acted like it was Kenzi who was the problem. Beth shook her head. "Kenz, you can't expect to run around homeless here. This isn't the city. Everyone here knows everyone's business, they'll notice in days and that's if you're lucky."
Kenzi's face fell, looking absolutely crestfallen. Beth quickly put her arms back around the girl, holding her close. "We'll figure something out, I promise."
"Okay, Bobo," Kenzi sighed, not sounding convinced. So many people had disappointed Kenzi in her short life, Beth refused to be one of them.
"How about til we know what's what, I set you up somewhere on the property. Like… the barn?"
"Where the horses shit?" Kenzi paused. "Is that where they shit?"
"We have a couple empty stalls, I could make you a whole room!" Beth said, warming to the idea. "And I'll bring you food every day, breakfast and dinner. I'm still at school so lunch I'll be gone, but-"
"If you're gone half the day, won't your parents notice a whole room when they're doing farm chores? I can skedaddle during the day no probs, but I don't think you can set me up the way you say… but otherwise, I guess… that sounds pretty neat. I slept in sewers, no way a barn is worse."
Beth had to bite back an audible exclamation of alarm at the news her little sister slept in sewers, and she shook her head. "I've been in charge of that barn since I was your age, my parents only ever visit the first two stalls anymore. If I set you up in the back they won't know a thing. I've hid out there before, there's a desk in there already."
Kenzi shifted uncertainly on her feet, but as Beth's face grew red with excitement, the twelve-year-old relented, grinning. "Okay, sounds perfect."
Beth pulled Kenzi in for yet another hug and Kenzi laughed, clearly happy as well. Beth couldn't remember the last time she had felt so at peace. The back of her mind had been a constant hum of worry for her sister, and now she was there in her arms and Beth could stop all of that. Kenzi, too, looked like she was content.
Sadly, Kenzi had to sleep with a duvet and pillows in the stall that first night: obtaining and sneaking a whole bed frame into the barn before Beth's parents got back from square dance was just not going to happen. Still Kenzi seemed thrilled, which broke Beth's heart anew.
Beth enlisted Doug's help to get a proper bed and eventually various decorations and necessities. She trusted him, especially with Kenzi, even if he had been acting rather twitchy for a few weeks. He helped her smuggle in a small frame and mattress, even working with her to install a mini generator for a night lamp at Kenzi's bedside, and Kenzi's smile could have lit up an entire stadium. Beth got Kenzi food without fail, started spending most of her time with the girl, and Kenzi slowly became more herself. More relaxed, cheerful, and Beth knew Kenzi trusted her now, and it filled her with bubbly pride.
But Beth's social life outside of her relationship with Kenzi suffered, and Kyle got more needy, missing her now she was gone half the time. And Beth did miss him, too. Missed being near him, missed kissing him, missed his warmth.
So she agreed to a proper date.
When Beth drained the life force out of Kyle, she fled home, tears streaming down her face and anguish in her heart. She didn't know what she'd done, who she was, what she was, and she ran home to fling herself into her parents' loving arms.
Her father called her a harlot and shut himself in his study.
Her mother said more. Screaming on and on how evil and wicked she was, what a monster.
How she wasn't her daughter.
Beth's mom disappeared for a minute before coming back and throwing a picture at Beth's feet. Beth as a baby, her real name on the back.
"No true daughter of mine would be Devil's spawn."
Beth found herself on the front lawn, little picture clutched to her chest as her mom barred her way back in. Beth held on to the hand rail of the porch, weak in the knees and begging her mother to forgive her, to love her, and her mom just screamed insults.
"Shut up!"
Both women turned and through blurry eyes Beth saw little raven-haired Kenzi, thin and small but so, so big in Beth's eyes. Kenzi glared hatred at Beth's mom, hands on her hips, and she yelled, "Don't you dare say bad things about her!"
"She's evil!"
"No! You're wrong. I don't know what you think she did, but no matter what Bobo is good."
Beth wanted to protest. Kenzi didn't now. She didn't know she'd killed someone. Her mother was right. She was a monster.
"She fornicated-"
"So she had sex, so what?" Kenzi yelled back.
"She killed!"
At this, Kenzi stilled. Beth felt her will shatter, the thought of Kenzi's scorn nearly crippling her. Then Kenzi's back straightened, her jaw set, and she said clear as a bell in the still night are, "I don't care."
Beth stopped breathing.
"Devil child, how can you say-"
"Because I don't! I don't! No matter what, I believe in her!"
Kenzi's slate blue eyes turned to Beth and her chin rose. "I believe in you, Bobo. You're not a monster. Not in any way."
Kenzi took a step toward Beth and the older girl shrunk back. Kenzi didn't falter, marching toward Beth with a set expression of determination on her face. Beth felt fear snake up her spine. If she injured Kenzi she'd never forgive herself.
Kenzi held out her small hand, chipped black nail polish dark against pale skin, not a tremor or tremble moving her fingers.
Beth hesitated. What if she touched Kenzi and hurt her?
Kenzi met Beth's eyes and grinned. "You never gave up on me. Like hell I'm giving up on you."
Beth took Kenzi's hand.
The girls ran back to the barn, Mrs. Dennis's hatred and fear shrilly following from the front stairs of the house. As soon as they were inside, Beth collapsed onto Kenzi's bed and sobbed. Kenzi wrapped her arms around Beth and held her. She sat, Beth's own little sentinel, unwavering and calm.
Kenzi was eventually able to coax the story out of Beth and by the end of it she was angry all over again. "But that wasn't your fault! I didn't know that could happen… but you didn't want it to!"
"That's just it, it doesn't happen. Not to… not to normal- I'm some sort of demon."
"No way. You might be different, but you aren't a demon. You aren't evil, Bobo. Not a shred of you. You're the best person I know."
"How sad is it that the best person you know is a murderer," Beth choked out.
"How lucky am I that it's you."
Beth hiccupped a chuckle. They sat in silence, then Beth pulled the picture back from her chest and looked at it for the first time.
"What's that?" Kenzi asked.
"Me. I guess." Beth fingered the edges of the picture.
"I'm adopted, you know."
"Now it makes sense!" Beth cringed at this until Kenzi finished, "No way could they have produced someone so infinitely cool as you are."
Beth still frowned. She flipped the picture over, wondering if it had been dated, and was surprised to find only one thing scrawled on the back.
"Bo."
"Hm?" Kenzi leaned over to get a look. "Bo? As in…"
"A name?" Beth said quietly, eyes widening in awe.
"Aw, yes! Score one for the Kenz! I knew you were a Bobo!" Kenzi bounced a little before chorusing, "Bo. Bobalicious. Bodacious! Bobo!"
"Bo," Beth said again, testing it on her tongue. It felt familiar, after so many years of her sister's nickname, but now it felt mysterious, too. Her mom had named her, maybe? Her bio mom? Was she Bo?
Had she always been Bo?
No, but she'd been Bobo. Kenzi's sister Bobo.
She was still Kenzi's Bobo.
That made shedding the name Beth Dennis a lot easier.
"We can't stay here," Beth- Bo- said, a steel entering her tone that made Kenzi take notice.
"No, we can't," Kenzi agreed, lips pressed thin. She reached out and cupped Bo's face in her small hands, brushing Bo's cheeks with her thumbs to wipe away the last of the tears. "You okay, Bobo?"
"Bo," the older girl corrected and slowly Kenzi nodded. "I'm okay." Bo took Kenzi's wrists and pulled them away. "But be careful, please. Don't touch me, not until we know-"
"Screw that. I'll be careful, Bo, I promise. But I'm not going to fear you. You would never hurt me on purpose. And until we figure this out, I won't let you hurt me on accident, either. If you can't trust yourself, trust me."
Bo swallowed, uncertain how to deal with Kenzi's utter love and devotion. But, oh, how she wanted it right now. She'd felt so alone the past few hours, after Kyle's death and her parents' rejection. But Kenzi had without a moment's pause grabbed her and pulled her back, never letting her be alone. "You… want to come with me?"
"Of course," Kenzi said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I can't ask that of you… we could be on the run for the rest of our lives."
"Where else would I want to be but with you?" Kenzi smiled at Bo, and Bo could hardly believe it was an honest question.
"…I love you, Kenzi."
"I love you, too, silly." Kenzi held out her hand, thrusting it forward again when Bo reflexively balked.
"Let's go, Bo."
For the second time that night, Bo took Kenzi's hand.