Title: Will I Be Enough? [1/1]
Rating: T
Fandom: OUAT
Pairing: Swan Queen
Words: ~ 3k.
A/N: I had this random idea of Swan Queen when I went to bed last night… all mistakes belongs to me. One shot for now. Emma had a bad childhood in the system; Regina invited Emma to dinner one night and caused Emma to break down. And it goes down from there.
Trigger Warning: Mention of physical/child abuse and rape.
To say that Emma Swan didn't have a decent childhood was an understatement. Hell, it would be the understatement of the year. Emma grew up in the system, and comparing to the lucky ones, she was placed in the less fortunate section of the system. Out of all the families that she was placed in, there was only one that was remotely safe. Mrs. Maria was her name, she was a widow and she always took in multiple children from the foster care system. She provided the children with a place to sleep, food to eat and clothes to wear. There was really nothing to complain about.
When Emma was 7, Mrs. Maria passed away in her sleep. She couldn't help herself but to cry at the old woman's funeral. The wise widow taught her and her fellow foster friends many things in life, from how to properly behave to how to enjoy life even if you're in the bottom of a well. It wasn't long until she was fetched by the people from the system and sent off to another home.
When Emma turned 13, she had already experience physical torture and emotional abuse. Not once did she complain about the unfair treatment the family at the homes had given to her. She branded the words of the widow in her heart and hung onto her words in order to get through every day.
Henry was not a child of mistake; it was the end result of a painful experience. When Emma was 17, her virginity was taken away from her, violently and unwillingly. She had no means to raise the baby and she simply couldn't afford to put her child through the same abuse she had been through in the system, so she gave him up for adoption. She simply wanted to give him his best chance.
Emma Swan opened her eyes as she tries to fight off the memories of her childhood, it was painful and it was a past that she will never wish upon any living individual. Emma had no idea why she was reminiscing of the past all of a sudden, she shook her head a few times to get rid of the lingering memories and directs her attention back to the documents placed in front of her.
As she was going through the paperwork, she heard a distinctive clicking, she knew that sound by heart, and it was the footsteps of the one and only Madam Mayor, Regina Mills.
"Sheriff Swan." she heard the silky voice from behind her, she turns her chair towards the sound.
When she was directly faced towards the mayor, she took in her stance. Regina had her arms crossed and she was leaning against one of the desks. Her eyebrow was raised defiantly, her overall facial expression shows impatient and annoyance. If Emma had learned anything from the system, it was to read people, and she was darn good at it.
"How may I help you today, Madam Mayor?" she sighed out the words with a hint of exasperation. She was already having a bad day with the memories of her past and she simply does not want to have another fight or heated pointless argument with Regina.
Regina took in the Sheriff's attire; the only thing surprising she discovered was the black framed glasses that were hanging comfortably on Emma's nose bridge. Masking her surprise with annoyance, she frowned at the tone of the sheriff. It was lacking the usual tone of annoyance and defiance, and there was something else laced with the words. It was sadness and hurt, but Regina brushed it off. There was no way a chipper woman like Emma would ever feel that way for no reason.
Regina rolled her eyes, "I'm here for the paperwork that you were supposed to deliver to my office this morning, Sheriff."
Recalling that she was suppose to drop off the finished documents at the mayor's office, she silently cursed under her breath and hurried up to gets the stack of files lying on the nearby desk.
"Sorry, it seems like it had slipped my mind. Here you go." Emma held out the stack of files in front of Regina and slight nodded her head apologetic.
Regina huffed and took the paperwork from the blonde and turned her heels to leave the bullpen. In any other normal days, she would have come up with a snarky remark and pick a fight with the sheriff but she felt that something was off about the blonde today.
Before stepping out of the station, she turned around to face the Sheriff. "Henry would like to have you over for dinner tonight." she stated.
When Regina didn't return a harsh comment on her forgetfulness or something in the sort, she felt relief and somehow thankful that Regina didn't pick a fight with her today. However, the invitation was definitely not expected at all. She looked at Regina with confusion written all over her face, she had thought that Regina couldn't stand looking at her, let alone share a meal with her son and herself.
"Well?" Regina asked impatiently, she didn't understand why she extended the dinner invitation to Emma Swan of all people. It might be the strange way Emma was behaving that had intrigued Regina, she wasn't sure but she didn't like this on Emma.
"Uh, s-sure?" Emma responded uncertainly. Was she supposed to decline or accept? The invitation was strange enough but Regina demanding for a positive answer was just too weird.
"Good, we will be expecting you at 7." with that, Regina turned her heels and walked out of the station. Emma, finally snapping out of the weird world she was in, realizes that she just accepted a dinner invitation to the Mayor's house: THE Major's house.
Not knowing why the day had been so weird, she sat back to her chair and continues to work on the humongous pile of paperwork.
Emma stretched out on her chair and faster a glance to the clock hung on the wall, it was ten past 6. 'Shit' she thought; she grabbed her keys and jacket before rushing out to her car. She had less than an hour to get ready for dinner at Regina's house, she didn't want to look anything less than presentable even if it was dinner with the woman who had demonstrate nothing but disgust to her existence.
After a shower and an indecisive battle between a light blue dress and a little black dress, she was finally decent looking and ready to go to the Mayor's house.
When she was standing face to face with the white door of the Mills' residence, she hesitantly knocked on the surface. She heard the distinctive footstep approaching the door and then the door was shot open. Regina Mills was standing at the door, she was still dressed the same as she was this morning. Emma nodded at Regina.
"Good evening, Madam Mayor." if there was one thing she will never forget, it would be the etiquette lessons Mrs. Maria taught her.
"Good evening to you Sheriff." there was not bite in Regina's welcome. She moved slightly away from the door to let the blonde enter.
Smirking in amusement, Regina realized that Emma Swan still had her black frames on. It was strangely endearing and it rather suits her.
Dinner was uneventful, Henry tried his best to involve both of his mothers in conversations and surprisingly, there was no animosity between the two women. They had no idea if they had only retain themselves because of Henry or whether they really did enjoy each other's company.
After dinner, Henry excused himself from the table and went back to his room to finish his homework. Emma and Regina were left in the dining room all by themselves.
Emma eyed the dishes and decided to help clean up; she stood slowly and reached for the dirty plates. It was then that she was intercepted by a porcelain skinned hand.
"Allow me; you are a guest after all. Why don't you go settle in the living room?"
"Um... Sure, I could help with the dishes?" Emma offered.
"That won't be necessary, Sheriff." Regina gave Emma a tight lipped smile before taking the plates to the sink.
Feeling dismissed, Emma move towards the living room and settled down on the creamy love seat. Her eyes were slowly shutting before she was drifted into the land of memories. She didn't realized that she had fallen asleep until she felt the cold hand on her forearm which in result, woken Emma.
"I am so sorry, I -" Emma stuttered as she tried to come up with an excuse for falling asleep on someone else's couch.
"It's fine." Regina shook her head slightly.
"Would you like some apple cider?" Regina walks toward the small cabinet near the television.
"Sure, that would be nice. Thank you."
Regina poured two small glasses of apple cider for herself and Emma. She walked back to the sofa and handed a glass to the blonde. Emma thanked her again and took a sip of the drink. They fell into a comfortably weird silence.
"About Henry…" Regina broke the silence that was starting to hang a little too heavy between the two women, a slight frown made its way to Emma's forehead. Of course, out of everything they could possibly talk about, the topic must always revolve around Henry.
"I understand that Henry is your son, however I do not appreciate that you spend time with him without my approval. After all, you did give up all rights over him when you gave him up years ago..."
At the thorny comment, Emma downed the apple cider and poured herself another before repeating the motion. Regina gaped slightly at the action but didn't seem to mind. Emma forgot how many glasses she had but she was definitely no longer herself.
"I never wanted Henry; he wasn't even supposed to exist." Emma slurred the words, for some odd reason, she found the bottle of apple cider very interesting and decided to stare at it with intense. Regina frowned at the statement, how could Emma say such things about her own son, her own blood and flesh.
"He wouldn't let me go, I didn't want it but he didn't let me go." Her voice started to waver at the end, there were tears pooling in Emma's eyes, Regina put down her glass and moved to sit beside the blonde.
She didn't know why she took Emma into her arms, or rubbed her back soothingly, but there was something about the vulnerability that Emma was showing that gave Regina the impulse to just cradle the blonde in her arms and never let go.
"I wanted him to stop, but he was so big…" Emma sobbed and tears were streaming down her face like a never-ending river, Regina pulled Emma closer to her. She didn't know what she could possibly say to comfort the sheriff, she had no idea what Emma was talking about but she knew it was painful.
"I couldn't… He wouldn't…" Regina shushed the blonde in her arms and rubbed her back to calm down her sobbing.
After a while, Emma finally stopped crying and she was definitely more sober. She realized that she was in the Mayor's embrace; her body froze at the contact of another person holding her. She knew that it was Regina who was holding her but in her mind, it wasn't Regina Mills.
Emma pushed the brunette away as hard as she could and crawled to the corner, she had her arms wrapped around her. "Get away from me! Don't touch me!" She yelled at Regina, the brunette frowned at the force that Emma used to push her away, but to top it off; she couldn't understand what was happening to Emma. She inched slowly towards Emma, "I won't hurt you, Emma." she whispered softly, using a gentle tone that she didn't know she possessed.
"NO! Go away! Please… I beg you, don't touch me…" Tears were pouring down Emma's face, if Regina knew how to read people at all; she would know fear and total terror.
Regina kneed down beside Emma and pull the blonde into her arms, "It's okay Emma, it's me, Regina. I won't hurt you. I promise." She whispered gently into Emma's ear and kissed her temple. Emma was trying to push away the person who was hugging her, she never liked physical contact and it gave her chills. She continues to struggle and fight for release in Regina's embrace, every time that Emma would try to shrug out of the hug, Regina would tighten her grip on the blonde.
Slowly, Emma was worn out from the crying and the resistance she put up against Regina. Regina rocked Emma back and forth and continues to whisper soothing words in the blonde's hair.
"Emma, you're safe now. It's me, Regina." Emma slowly came out of her past memories and she looked at the direction of the soft, velvety voice. She tilted her head upwards and found Regina looking down at her, there was no menace or hatred in those brown orbs, instead it was filled with compassion and … love? Emma immediately crossed that possibility away and slowly tore herself away from the tight embrace.
"Um.. I.. uh, sorry about that…" When she was completely separated from Regina, she realized that she had ruined the mayor's shirt with her tears. She blushed at the fact that she had lost control at the only person that could potentially use it to hurt her.
"It's nothing, are you alright…?"
".. I will be." Emma answered solemnly, casting her gaze elsewhere.
A moment of silence was casted upon the two women, Emma shifted uncomfortably while having an internal debate on whether or not she should tell Regina the origin of Henry's birth. Finally, her guilt of breaking down in front of the mayor won and she decided that, at least, she owe Regina an explanation
"… When I was a kid, I was placed in the system since I didn't have any parents or relatives," Emma said with a very soft tone that Regina would have missed if she wasn't paying attention. "The first few families were fine, some were not as great but they were still manageable. When I turned 12, I was sent to another family. That… family was not exactly welcoming."
Regina watched Emma in silence as the blonde shares her past with her. Emma chuckled coldly, "Let's be honest, they were the furthest thing from welcoming. They beat me every day and night; called me things that I will never be able to repeat, tortured me to the point of breaking and then some." Regina froze, how could a family abuse a child and … She felt a tugging at the bottom of her stomach and somehow, an ache in her heart.
"When I was 17… it got worse, the beatings were harsher than they use to be, and when that man found out I was a virgin, well… He decided to take that away from me, just like everything else."
The brunette was speechless, out of everything in the world; she would have never guessed that Henry was the end result of an assault. Her heart wrenched at the thought of Emma being pin down and a man was … Even the thought of it was awful, let alone having that memory burnt into your brain. Regina saw red, she wanted to go find that family and make sure they will never see the daylights again, but she bit down on her bottom lip and listens to the rest of Emma's past.
"He would come to my room every day, at random times, and he would rape me. His wife didn't care for it, she even encouraged him to 'punish' me for the misbehavior I have been demonstrating in the house." Emma's voice was cold and flat, the light in her eyes were gone and if Regina didn't know better, she would have thought Emma was dead.
The mayor couldn't take hearing Emma so broken and listen to all those horrible things those poor excuse of a family had put upon her, she pulled Emma into her and kissed her right on the lips. Emma didn't expect the embrace, let alone the kiss. Her eyes were wide open, shocked of what the mayor had done and seconds later, she closed her eyes and let herself drown in the soft lips.
When they both ran out of air, they finally broke apart. Regina looked into Emma's green eyes, confusion and relief were plastered on Emma's face but she did not pull away from Regina.
"I won't hurt you Emma," Regina whispered against Emma's lips, "I love you, and I won't let anything happen to you, ever again." Words were spilling out of Regina's mouth without being processed by her brain, but she knew exactly what she was talking about. Emma Swan was always different; something about the blonde had always captured Regina's attention. She had simply misunderstood her feelings and turned them into dislike.
Emma saw the love and care in Regina's brown orbs; her words were gentle and warm. It made her feel loved and cared for. She shuts her eyes and snuggled into Regina's embrace, wishing that this was not a dream and that the mayor really does love her and would protect her from her nightmares.
"I love you too, Regina…" Emma whispered back, if it was all a dream, well at least let her have this moment to be her and not haunted by her past.
The brunette kissed a trail down from Emma's forehead to her nose and finally, on her lips, "I'll protect you, I won't let anything happen to you, my love. I promise…" That was the last thing that Emma heard before she was drifted into the lands of dreams. For the first time in a decade, she didn't dream of that night but instead, she dreamt about a brunette with short hair standing under an apple tree, welcoming her with the biggest smile.
'Maybe… she's it for me.' That was Emma's last thought before completely seeping into oblivion.