Disclaimer: I don't own 'Tokyo Ghoul'.

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IN THE FLESH

She was the night. She was the millions of glittering stars; she was the infinite veil of space. Her bruised skin was a thousand new galaxies for him to explore. As her legs would wrap around him, he could catch the scent of her body, and the cascade of her pale-glowing blonde hair, framing her face, eyes looking down at him as she were the moon suspended above. She was the thousands of planets orbiting him, never still, always straying in and out of reach and return – all of this, Renji Yomo thought of just before stepping inside his apartment.

He hungered for just a breath of her air, and then to spit in her face as she did to him. He couldn't decide which the more prevailing emotion was when it came to Rei Sugawara.

She came and went so quickly he could never decide. This time, his only warning had been the message left for him at Anteiku. After hearing that Rei had stopped by, he had left immediately to chase her down. He had, at first, thought to check her old art studio, but found it just as abandoned as usual. Of course she wouldn't be there, he had realised. It was too predictable, too convenient. If Rei truly wanted to piss him off, then there was only one place she would be.

Yomo's boots hit the floor with a dull thud, preluding his entrance into his home. He made sure the door slammed shut behind him, loud enough to break the low, musical hum coming from his bedroom. It lingered in his ear, made him feel the need to keep moving up the hallway. He came to the corner, stepped around, his large frame filling the doorway.

Rei Sugawara, his uninvited guest, was just where he had figured he would find her – lying, half naked, across his bed.

She lay on her stomach, facing away from the door. The damp tangles of her blonde hair were swept over her shoulder, glowing bright against the dark material of one of his borrowed t-shirts. It seemed like she still had no problems making herself at home, to have already had a shower. Long legs stretched out from underneath the hem, purpled and scarred with stretch marks and years of fighting for her survival, her ankles crossed.

Yomo's entrance was met with a glance over her shoulder, brown eyes sweeping over him shortly.

"You took your time." Rei said, her lips pulled into a thin, warm smile.

Yomo made the next few steps in silence, reaching the edge of his bed. Rei rolled to the side, pulling herself up to stand on the mattress. He spotted an open sketch book and pencils behind her, the activity she had abandoned for him. For a moment, he was glad to steal her attention from the art that had always been so all-encompassing in her.

"Rei." Yomo wasn't sure what he meant to say, or if he meant to say anything at all. It seemed to be just enough to reassure himself that it really was her, this woman he hadn't spoken to for months.

She smiled at him, cheeks dimpling unevenly, and for a moment was so beautiful that he could ignore the distance they had placed between each other. She had added a third piercing to each ear since they last met, and kept the jewelled ring running through her septum.

Her heart had jumped to her throat the moment she saw Yomo walk through the door, and the ache in her chest was echoed when she went on to say, "Renji, I think you've actually gotten shorter."

Of course, she was the one standing on the bed. Rei stood above him by a few feet, which she used to look down at him. Her toes were on the end of the bed, and he, a hand's width away. She couldn't help but reach out to hug him.

Though Yomo looked immoveable, it was only because he was complacent enough to step forward that Rei managed not to fall off the bed. Her fingers crept around his neck, into the softness of his hair, and she could feel Yomo press his cheek against her neck and breathe in deeply before pulling away once more. His decisions could always be resolved once he saw Rei in the flesh.

She followed, meant to bring them closer and lower her lips to meet his. A hand over her mouth stopped her before she made it.

Prying his hand away, Rei pouted exaggeratedly and muttered, "Even though it's been so long, you still won't give me a kiss?"

"That's your own fault." He replied shortly.

Rei fell to the bed, kneeling. She kept her hands folded in her lap, her smile amiable. "But it's almost like you don't want to see me." She argued.

He didn't reply, wouldn't even look at her. Yomo's only reaction was to walk around the bed and begin to pull off his coat. Rei didn't really need an answer, knowing it already from the slam of the door and his impatient footsteps, but she couldn't help feeling childish. Every time she came back to visit, it was always her telling him she missed him.

Yomo left his jacket thrown over the bed. "What did you come for?"

"It's important to keep in touch with friends…," Rei trailed off, catching his stony glare, and conceding, "Okay, maybe it's not just that."

She fell back against his bed, welcoming the soft sheets compared to the cold streets she had spent years sleeping in. Yomo was unfaltering as he stared down at her, not once sneaking a peak at her thighs, or anything else exposed by a rising hemline.

She turned her head towards the pillow, her nose filled with his scent. "Because we're not just friends, are we?" she murmured, recalling the familiarity of the bed, of his weight underneath her.

"Are we?" he echoed. Yomo was walking towards the door when next she looked, stopping only to say without looking back, "Get dressed."

Rei thought nothing of his curt sentences. She, as with everything, took it all in stride, and waited until the door clicked shut behind him before allowing the smile to slip from her face. She knew it was his nature to be abrupt, to withhold his thoughts, but there was something particularly cold this time. It was that mocking question, are we? And were they? Were they anything at all to each other?

She liked to think so. Friends, at the very least, but many years of intimacy existed between them also. The passage of time could never mark their feelings. Of the few things that could, Rei could only think of one that applied.

She rolled from the bed, sought out clean, dry clothes from the case of luggage she had left in the corner upon her earlier arrival. Rei picked out underwear first, hesitating as she calculated the need of them. If Yomo really was still hung up on that old fight, it probably didn't matter.

She finished dressing quickly, trading Yomo's borrowed shirt for a long-sleeve of her own, and made her way out. Her footsteps were quiet, so that he mustn't have heard her come up the hall. Yomo had his back to her, standing before the kitchen bench. He turned, coffee in each hand, and caught her gaze.

A simple nod towards the table was enough invitation for her to sit. Rei did so, taking the cup from his hand and thanking him with a smile.

"Is this just good manners?" she wondered.

"…Depends on why you're here."

She curled her fingers around the coffee cup, seeking a warmth she couldn't find in him. She didn't want to talk about it, and she couldn't understand why he did.

"Am I being presumptuous?" Rei asked, directing her attention to Yomo, "Expecting that you will always be here when I need you?"

She knew the answer already; that it was cruel to ask him to wait around for a something that was never always there. As expected, Yomo offered her a stern look and a few seconds of silence. She sighed, her breath blowing away the steam from her coffee, before taking a small sip.

A persistent thought struggled to be said, caught behind her teeth. Rei bit her lip, blurting out her worry even though it went against her better judgement. "…Expecting that you even want me here."

Yomo made to say something, his lips parting for the first breath of speech, only to silence himself at Rei's strange, lonely smile.

She stood up noisily, so suddenly that her chair almost toppled over. Yomo watched as she walked around the table, leaving the coffee to sit there half finished. He didn't ask where she thought she was going, though resisted the urge to stop her nonetheless.

"I'll go. It's better that way, isn't it?" She muttered, glancing back over her shoulder.

It wasn't until she gave him that look, eyelids lowered and her gaze lingering, that Yomo finally found motivation to move after her. Panic had his heart skipping beats, and he was acting without even meaning to, but as assuredly as if he had the resolution of heart to back it up.

Rei hardly had the time to blink before he caught her, turning her in his arms, and she found her back pushed up against the wall. Yomo lost all his reservations, all his hesitation, as he leant down closer and found himself surrounded by the sight, the scent, of Rei.

Don't go – those were the words he couldn't say out loud, the words he pressed to her lips.

Rei was caught off guard by the kiss, overwhelmed by Yomo's intensity and insistence. His hands were wound around her waist, sneaking under the hem of her shirt, encouraging her to react. Rei found, without even having to think about it, that she was kissing him just as earnestly. It was an entirely natural response when she had spent so long missing him.

Yomo managed to snatch a few, free seconds, just long enough to say, "Rei."

She caught his face in her hands, winding her fingers through his silver hair, and pulled him back towards her. Rei captured his attention easily, as he began to explore every curve, every inch and corner and crevice. Her hips rolled against his, encouraging his kisses and inciting his animalistic instincts. Before they hit that point of no return, Yomo choked back his low growl and tore himself away.

"I want you," he murmured, "I want you to stay."

She closed her eyes, allowed herself a moment to lean in against him, before admitting, "But I don't want to talk about it. About our fight."

"But you want to stay as well."

"…You still wouldn't be okay with it."

Yomo pressed in closer, surrounding her on all sides. There was no escaping his stony glare, the conviction in his voice as he repeated himself firmly. "But you still want to stay."

He could feel the shudder that went through her, the smile that bloomed amidst her turmoil. Of course Yomo had caught on – there had to be a reason she kept coming back to him. "Yeah," she conceded softly, "I want to stay."

Yomo turned her face upwards, so that Rei's attention was turned wholly to him. She smiled gently, her hands braced against his chest. The thought of kissing him again was present in her mind, but there was no way she was going to be tall enough to reach him at that moment.

"Let's sit." She decided at last, pulling away suddenly.

He followed, body thrumming with the aftermath of her kisses, his mind consumed by the trouble she brought him. She sat on the couch first, her legs folded up onto the cushions, while he sat beside her with his legs stretched out, a thigh pressed to her knees. Yomo had to admit he didn't much mind the lack of space of a two-seater sofa.

"I promise not to yell if you don't." Rei began, looking across at him steadily.

He replied with a slight, curt nod.

"Good," she breathed, sounding relieved, "And I'm sorry for yelling at you last time."

"I apologise for yelling as well." Yomo replied, before his gaze turned stony and he looked away from Rei once more. It was hard to imagine him raising his voice at all now, though he had once been more disposed to act in violence and aggression. "But," he added, "I won't take back what I said."

She pursued her lips, displeased at the reminder. "Which was what? Live the way you want me to – it's like you're expecting me to be someone that I'm not. I'm not a nice person, Renji, and I'm difficult to deal with. I'm too sensitive and moody, I know. I jump to conclusions, and I will do anything to get my way."

She spoke of her vices as if they were facts, ignoring the warmth and liveliness of the rest of her nature. "I never had a problem with any of that." Yomo told her calmly.

"But you will; you would, if I ever let you get that close." Rei tucked her hair behind her ear, eyes lowered as she muttered quietly, "…and I couldn't live with that."

Yomo turned towards her, grappling with the urge to reach out and touch her. With all her brilliant smiles and charisma – all her bravado – it was easy to forget the woman underneath. Yomo knew, however, and he had to choose his next words carefully or risk repeating the argument that had caused her to leave during her last visit.

"No."

"What?" she glanced up, startled. Yomo stared down at her, catching the hitch in her breath and the loss of her composure. After a moment, she sighed, "Renji, I can't read your mind. You'll need to explain more than that."

"I know what happens when you leave," he elaborated, coming to the point slowly, "I understand you have lived that way even before you met me, moving from one place and person to the next. And you say that you don't want to get close, or I might know you too well and begin to hate you; is that right?"

"Yes."

"Rei, I have seen you tear people apart with your hands."

She smiled bitterly. "I've seen you do the same."

"And I've seen how you eat, how you lie your way into their homes and kill them in their beds. I've seen you tear out hearts and destroy homes. I know how difficult you are."

"So you see it my way, then?"

Yomo's eyes bore into hers, unrelenting in his case. "And," he continued, "I know that you'd rather read bedtime stories to kids than kill them. I know you like gardening, and I've seen the way you look when you finish an artwork. You take risks, and you never sit still – I know that, and it's unfair of me to expect you to."

"Renji…" Rei struggled to find the words, her lips stilling as Yomo reached up and pressed his thumb against them.

He spent a moment tracing the contours of her face, relinquishing speech for silence. He had never struggled so hard to put what he felt into words before, and he knew that if he didn't say it right he risked losing what he fought so hard to keep.

"I'm not a good person." Rei murmured.

"I know," he agreed, "I love you anyway."

Underneath the touch of his fingertips, she shivered and her gentle smile dissolved into a wide-eyed stare. She could have guessed his mind, the depth of meaning behind his words, but when it came to Yomo, to speak was so much different than it was to act.

Rei found herself reaching up, kneeling on the couch as she moved to meet Yomo's height and grab his jaw in one hand. She guided him towards her and into a soft kiss, her lips trembling against him. She was numb to everything but him, and in that numbness, Rei failed to realise how wet her cheeks had grown with tears.

"You must have really low standards." She mumbled, pulling away first.

Yomo straightened, settling back against the couch without further reaction. He didn't see it necessary, when, ultimately, she would be the one to make the bigger sacrifice. There was no bitterness, simply factuality, as he muttered, "That's all I wanted to say."

Rei was left with a decision that she had, truthfully, made a long time ago. Her path had been predetermined, and it was made that way by her own hand – no matter how many years she put it off for. If it had to be choice, she knew which one she would make.

Her skin burned with his touch, her head spun with breathlessness whenever he was near, and, presiding over every other instinct inside of her, Rei's heart ached to always be near Yomo. With that in mind, her resolve was made and she at last moved to reply.

Swinging one leg over him, Rei came to kneel over him. She met Yomo's gaze without flinching, silent in patience as he reached up to hold the silvery locks of her hair back from her face. The two of them, without realising it, grew close enough that his breath warmed her lips.

Just when he thought they might kiss, Rei stopped and smiled. "I love you too."

"…That's not an answer."

"No," she agreed softly, "But is it enough that you'll forgive me?"

Yomo pressed his fingers to the small of her back, the other hand against the nape of her neck. He found little resistance when guiding her forward and complete surrender the moment his lips touched hers. Sitting up straighter, he was able to use more force in his kisses, to the point where her breath was stolen from her lungs and Rei had to break away for air.

He persisted with gentle kisses along her jaw, down the arch of her neck, each touch leaving her shivering despite the heat. His touch was thrilling to her, just as she was to him. For a while, there were no words to replace the simple feeling, and nothing much else could be done but to lean down and have Yomo kiss her again just as earnestly.

There would be a day, she was sure, when Yomo would convince her entirely. Whether today, or tomorrow, she wasn't sure, but she knew it would happened – the decision had already been made, from the moment she first saw him standing in the doorway and heard his voice speak her name.

Breathless, they parted once more, and it was only then that Yomo answered simply, "We'll work on it."

How not to end a story - lazy writing, by me. Admittedly, I probably rushed the ending so I could get this piece finished with, but I hope it's still okay to read.

I hope all the spelling/grammar makes sense because I always tend to write at 3am when my brain doesn't work properly, and thank you so much for reading (and a bigger thank you to anyone who reviews)!