The clerk looked up from his papers, already rolling his eyes at the man standing in front of him.
"Do I really need to explain why you are here again Mr. Malfoy?" he asked with a sigh. Draco simply smirked in return.
"I already know, but thanks. I have to admit that I thought you would get back to me sooner with complaints."
"You can't just have public magic battles with Miss Granger," he groaned. "Small, harmless battles are fine, but this is getting out of hand. Even she is getting written up."
"Surprise surprise," he chirped. Granger hardly ever got anything pinned on her. "I didn't do any damage."
"With the last curse you mean?"
He chuckled, fondly recalling his latest prank on the woman. "None of my jokes have ever harmed bookworm Granger. They just cause her some discomfort… or a drop in self-esteem."
The man frowned, shaking his head. "You used a spell that shaved off half her hair."
Draco barely suppressed a smile at the latest prank. "She can easily use a spell to replenish it in a matter of days. Her temper got to her head more than anything."
"Mr. Malfoy, she turned your hair permanently purple for at least a month."
Scowling, the former blond attempted to ignore the clerk's bemused look. "Yes, she was rather quick to get a similar revenge. But don't forget that the week before I buzzed her head that she completely made a mockery of me in the Daily Prophet."
"I think that was actually the Prophet's fault. The reporters did put everything in that paper after all, not her."
"It's her fault there was anything to report," he muttered. He remembered Granger mocking him in the middle of a street, doing anything to get under his skin. Of course at the time he deserved it, but then things got out of hand. They were having another battle… again.
"No matter whose fault it is you can't just engage in duels willy-nilly in the middle of crowded areas. And please Mr. Malfoy, save the excuses about Miss Granger firing first."
Draco said something under his breath as the young clerk thrust something in his face. "Fill this out, we'll add it to your collection. The Department of Magic Regulation is getting a rather large file on you."
"I thought this was the department of improper use of magic?"
The man scowled, shooing Draco away. "You're still here often no matter what it is called. Fill out your paperwork Mr. Malfoy, and I'm sure we'll see you back here soon. Keep this up and they might just suspend your magic."
The purple-haired wizard scoffed, snatching away his papers. He would be talked to by an Auror in a bit, probably one that he was already familiar with. Nothing new there. If he was lucky it might even be a girl this time.
He sat with a huff, twirling the quill in his hand. Oh, he would think of an even better way to get back at Granger next time. His last joke really didn't live up to his expectations. After all, giving her a sudden haircut was more of a gift than a joke.
Hermione was mad. It had been just over three days and she had yet to come up with a creative way to get Malfoy back for shaving her head. At least now most of the hair had returned, though it lacked the puffiness she was familiar with. He would pay for trying to change her sense of style.
If she had a sense of style of course. Hermione was really too plain-Jane and work focused to bother with style.
She smiled fondly recalling Malfoy's very purple hair shining in the sunlight after she hexed him. Oh, he was angry about that one. After all, his blond locks were one of his absolute favorite qualities (Malfoy had a lot of favorite qualities).
But what kind of revenge did one seek for head shaving? Going for another attack on his looks was just silly; she couldn't repeat the same trick twice in a row. She needed to get under his skin.
You could always cause hives or something. That's ideally like getting under his skin.
The woman almost banged her head on the desk for that thought. Really, hives? The brightest witch of the century was resorting to hives to get back at someone. Awesome.
She still had a hard time believing that she was engaging in such a stupid battle. It was his fault really for dragging her into such a silly game, but originally it wasn't so sugar coated. They almost got into a true argument one day, with real dangerous spells. That landed them together in the Department of Law Enforcement, right into the improper use of magic division.
"If you didn't get in my face in the first place we wouldn't be here right now."
"If you weren't still wandering around I wouldn't have to get in your face in the first place."
"Why you-"
"Miss Granger," the clerk said sternly, peering over his papers. "No foul language. You are both at fault here. You both released some not-so-PG moves back there. Some of them could have hurt onlookers. You are both very lucky one did not."
Hermione ducked her head, ashamed of her behavior. Draco was still lounging about in his chair, looking not at all concerned about their situation.
"I hate you Malfoy," she sighed, dropping her head to her hands. He smirked at her obvious distress.
"The feeling is mutual Granger. I just love getting under your skin."
And the games began from there. They were not so vile the next several times they encountered one another. While tempers still flared from their last encounter, Draco took a less cruel approach to getting under her skin and pissing her off.
A nice gust of wind did the trick- straight up her dress that day. It was like some sort of slow-motion knock off of Betty Boop. She turned scarlet when her dress flew up in the middle of the street for all to see. He rolled around laughing at her expense.
She hexed him with stinging charms until Aurors arrived to break it up. Everyone got far too much of a laugh out of it. Hermione was extremely embarrassed when her friends and colleagues found out about the little adventure.
It was a series of ridiculous events from there.
A smile played across her face as a new form of jokes occurred to her. "I know what would really get under his skin," she said aloud, rubbing her hands together. "Oh, he can't one-up me this time!"
She sat back the following day, watching with an amused expression as Malfoy looked around in horror at the people surrounding him. Reporters were in his face, bugging the heck out of him for a good story.
Hermione barely suppressed her laughs at the look of confusion written across his face. He looked somewhere between pissed off and extremely annoyed. It was too good to be true.
"What's with all the people around Malfoy?" Ron asked, sitting down across from her for their lunch date. "Is he paying people to make believe he's some sort of celebrity again?"
She laughed openly at that, having for a moment forgotten the skirmish months ago when Draco Malfoy's ego wasn't large enough and he paid a paparazzi reporter to follow him around to make him seem interesting. When she read the article she actually cried, her laughs racking through her entire body.
Hiding her smile Hermione cleared her throat. "There's a rumor that Malfoy donated to an organization of some sort."
Ron practically spit his drink out on her, choking at her statement. "Greedy, gold-hugging, arrogant Malfoy donated to an organization? And people actually believe that nonsense?"
Smiling, she fingered the enchanted pen inside her pocket. "The check has been seen all morning. The organization put it on display as proof before making a formal announcement of thanks to him."
"Was it a large sum?" her friend asked, sipping his drink.
"No, not too much. Malfoy is a greedy sort of character. He won't start by donating large sums of money willy-nilly. He has to ease into it or he might have a heart attack due to kindness."
"He might have a heart attack right now," Ron commented with a grin. "He looks disgusted that people are asking him if he's gone soft."
She couldn't stop the enormous smile from stretching across her face now. Not only had she one-upped Malfoy, but she had also been able to thoroughly confuse the twit. He didn't seem to realize yet who was at fault for this, because she knew for a fact that he didn't write the check or contribute the donation.
Her magical pen sat like a keepsake in her pocket, something she would have to put into hiding later. Copying his girlish handwriting was hard, but she managed to forge his signature.
Imagine it; Hermione Granger was forging names on the basis of revenge and a joke! What was the world coming to?
She didn't feel bad about her trick though. The money was hers, something she had set aside ages ago and finally decided to use. So was the pen; the thing came in handy when forging names. And on top of it all she got the satisfaction of turning Draco Malfoy into the one thing he declared to never ever be.
The good guy. His head might explode before he could stomach that.
Glancing through the crowd she accidently locked eyes with him, and immediately blond eyebrows shot into a purple hairline. He knew immediately what was going on, but even from her position many yards away she could see him keeping quiet about it.
She wondered why that was. There was no way he could one up her after this. Deciding to distract herself, she placed her hands behind her head and glanced skyward, briefly closing her eyes.
As far as Hermione was concerned she had totally won this war.
Draco had other views on the matter.
But for now she had nothing to fear. There was no way she would be sent back to the division for improper use of magic- at least not yet. Malfoy couldn't prove anything against her.
She grinned. Oh yes, she totally one upped him.
A/n: Written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition as a reserve for Chaser 2.
Thoughts? I might make this a multi-chapter story once this round closes, but we'll see what happens. Toddles for now dears!