I wrote this magical story due to myself looking at Dora fanfics and seeing a lack of parodies that were very entertaining to read and so I bring to you Dora, and all her halfwit friends attempting a fun race.
Btw… I do not own Dora or any other characters used in this crackfic and this is my first fanfic attempt no flames please!
The Great And Magical Day Dora Actually Did Something Productive
One magical day in Doraland. Dora and Boots were very bored and were thinking for hours about what they could do.
"I just got an idea!" Dora cried out stupidly.
"What is it? What is it?" said Boots dancing and jumping around like a moron.
"We will have a race from my house all the way to Rainbow Canyon. Map will help us make the other directions." Dora then said to no one at all.
"Say map louder!" Cheered boots then after a long pause the map came out of Dora's backpack that somehow had the ability to speak. In order for Dora and her friends to get to Rainbow Canyon first they have to start from Dora's house then pass over the troll's bridge. Then they must go over the icy river and then to rainbow canyon.
"Yay! Yay! Yay!" the map screamed as he combusted into ashes for no reason what so ever "oh no" said Dora "We may need to bring map back to life again" so after Dora and Boots had glued map back together with old condoms they found on the ground. They ran around to tell all their friends about the big race with the prize being a chest full of stickers. After Dora had found enough random items to make a car out of everyone they knew got to work they worked long and hard over many days and when everyone was finished they met on the big day the teams were Isa the homosexual iguana and the big red chicken. Benny the mob bull and Tico the illegal Amish Mexican meth dealer. Last and the least was Dora and Boots in a hummer made out of scrap metal and banana peels. Benny and Tico's car was made out of wood and a wheel. Where Benny whipped a chipmunk as an energy source. For some reason Isa and the big red chicken's car was pure metal with real wheels and a 204847556 horsepower turbine engine. For some reason Swiper was chosen to wave the flag and monitor the race "you all are going to lose horribly" said Benny in a squeaky Robert Denero voice. "WAIT"
Everyone turned to see Dora's weird cousin Diego walking in from nowhere with baby jaguar. I too have made a car for this race Diego then pointed to a wooden cart that was halfway rotten. "Okay now shut up and get in" said Dora angrily. once agai go Everyone quickly started their vehicles and took off onto the track. Diego and baby jaguar slowly inching towards the hill went at a very slow pace. Dora and boots were in the lead with Isa and the big red chicken tailing behind.
Just about then for some reason Dora's car began to swerve and it flew through the cactus bushes badly cutting up boots "oh no" exclaimed Dora "somone has damaged the wheels" "does backpack have something to fix them?" after about 6 minutes of BACKPACK BACKPACK they finally were able to fix the wheel and get back on track far behind. Just as they were starting the engine Diego and baby jaguar went soaring by and incredible speed baby jaguar fell out of Diego's arms caught on fire and then was run over on the road by Dora and Boots. Diego didn't even notice he never had time he flew ahead and collided with the big red chicken and Isa's car damaging it badly the big red chicken absorbed the shock from Diego's body and Diego sank into the big red chicken's giant butt hole. Dora being mentally retarded forgot where they had to go and took her eyes of the road and looked at the newly patched together map. But before Dora could even say where to go her and boots drove into another ditch that was right beneath the trolllolololol's bridge. The car gained speed and made it to the other side somehow. While everyone was trying to solve the riddle what is used to protect you from aids Benny got mad and decided to shove the troll into the river below. But as he was doing it swiper yes swiper in case you didn't already expect he was tinkering with everyone strapped a time sensitive bomb to their car NOTE: if you've seen the movie speed this will make sense to you. Benny decided to let Tico drive this time but Benny did not see Tico smoking meth in the background so when Tico took to the wheel he started to drive while high hitting everything in his way.
In the process amazingly the bomb fell of exploding into a big hole behind them. Tico and Benny being too dumb to notice it went on their drunken way. Right after Benny and tico Isa and the big red chicken drove right into the crater and out the big red chicken being so obese went flying out over the cliff to his doom "BAWK BAWK" he yelled as he fell. Just around the corner was the icy river somehow it was frozen over in the middle of summer. Victory is close said Isa still thinking the big red chicken was still alive. Dora and boots were side to side by Benny and tico while they were crossing the river suddenly tico swerved to the right and passed out from overdose this caused the ice to crack as Benny and tico fell through into the river and drowned. With Benny's last breath he said in his squeaky Robert denero voice" I always knew I'd be sleeping with the fishes". Then a giant fish ate him.
Dora and boots could see rainbow canyon just ahead "were almost to the finish Dora cried out". Boots got really excited and started to dance around in the car it turns out Isa was right behind them and boots was screening her so at the next turn on the rainbow Cliff side Isa couldn't see the road and flew right off the side and was skewered by a chunk of rainbow crystal. "We did it we did it Dora and boots" sang as they got to the finish line. "No you didn't" a voice from the shadows called. It was nick fury who had skinned swiper into a coat "you've been a threat for as long as I can remember" he said nick fury quickly called on a firing squad that shot Dora and boots until all that was left was a backpack with bullet holes and some old condoms.
A/N: Did you enjoy this magical story? It's my first ever and I will be making more parodies soon