"Does he know, Beth?" Daryl, with pleading eyes, asked her.
Daryl had just arrived to her apartment after hearing the heartbreaking news, she supposed. Beth, who appeared to have been getting ready to leave her home, stared at him, in her doorway with a determined and confused look in her face.
"Does he know what?" she was about to ask before Daryl spoke again and made her remember their first slumber together.
"Does he know that you have to sleep with exactly two pillows?"
They had just returned from their third date; the third date that in the dating world meant that the couple had to engage in certain explicit activities. However, Beth and Daryl were just not ready for that. It seemed that in their relationship things went in a certain unhurried pace. The couple had known each other years before they even considered dating the other. They were the other's best friends, their person, loyal confidant, and to them a romantic relationship, they feared, would have ruined what they had. At least, until those fears disappeared after they realized that they needed each other in their lives; that they could not live without the other because their lives were mediocre if the other was not in them.
They decided to court after such realization came, and after two amazing dates, they were now in the end of their third, fiercely making out in Beth's couch. Before they had arrived to her home, the couple had spent a glorious day enjoying nature together. Daryl had taught Beth how to hunt and track while they were just friends, and the both of them thought that a day spent together using their shared skills counted as a perfect day. Beth had tracked and caught a rabbit, while Daryl had bagged a couple of squirrels. And after hauling in their game they had gone to Beth's apartment to cook their catch and just enjoy each other's company. They both believed that each other's company was all they really needed, and as they made out after eating, Beth started to feel the weight of their day's events tire her out. She, however, did not want Daryl to leave so whilst still kissing him Beth got to her feet and tugged Daryl to her bedroom.
At first, Daryl happily followed, but after realizing that Beth had led him to her bedroom he could not help to suddenly feel overwhelmed. Beth had let him go, after pushing him to sit in her bed, to quickly change into her pajamas, and brush her teeth, and Daryl, well, he did not know what to do with himself. He was highly aware of the things that were expected from the third date; however, he just was not ready to go there with Beth yet. Things were different with them. They did not go with the flow. They were not conventional, especially him. Daryl did not want to do anything just because that was what other people did on their third date. No, he wanted their first time to be special and beautiful, and that was what he let Beth know. He could tell her anything no matter how embarrassing. What he did not know, though, was that Beth felt exactly the same way, and he was surprised when she told him so, even though he knew he should not have been.
"Daryl, I brought you here because I'm tired and wish to sleep and I don't want you to go. I want you to stay with me and hold me while I sleep. You have done it before, so why not?" she had said.
"Beth, we have never slept together in a bed before. Don't you think me sleeping here in your bedroom is inappropriate?" Daryl asked shyly as he stared at the ground while still sitting in her bed.
"No! It's not inappropriate at all. You are my boyfriend after all, and all we are going to do is sleep. Plus it's not like it's the old days where such things were frowned upon." Beth, with a matter of fact tone, said as she went to sit against her headboard.
Turning back to look at her Daryl then said, "But it is the south though. You know these people still live by those rules when convenient to them."
"Well, remember that we promised each other that we wouldn't care what other people said." Beth replied with a confident grin.
Daryl, remembering that they did indeed promised that to each other then got to his feet, removed his shoes, pants, vest and flannel leaving him in his boxers and white undershirt and joined his girl in her queen sized bed and muttered a "You're right" to a sleepy and triumphed looking Beth.
"You want to be the little spoon or the big spoon?" Beth then teasingly asked as she began to settle underneath her sheets.
"What type of question is that?" Daryl asked as he too moved underneath her sheets. "The man is always the big spoon."
"Little spoon it is then. Why do you always have to go against the flow?" Beth exclaimed as she moved to hug Daryl from behind after she stacked two pillows underneath her head, yanking the one that was supposed to be Daryl's.
"I don't always wanna, but with you everything is different. You make me be different. Now why do you need two pillows?" asked Daryl, dismissing his previous statement whilst also trying to make do with no pillow.
"Because I have never had to share my pillows, so I'm used to sleeping with two, and you make me be different too Mr. Dixon and I love that." Beth then whispered into his shoulder slowly falling asleep afterwards.
"Does he know about your scar? The one in your wrist?" questioned Daryl before Beth had the chance to ask why he had brought the previous statement up.
Bringing her right hand up to her left wrist, feeling kind of angry at Daryl for bringing her wrist up, Beth started to recall aforementioned event. Also remembering that dark moment in her life and Daryl's desperate concern.
It had been four days after her mother's funeral, and the gray cloud that hanged above the Greene farm just would not disappear. Her father had retreated back to alcohol. Her brother ran away to his friend's apartment, and Maggie was the only one who seemed to have strength in the household. The Greene's has lost perhaps their most important member of their family and the family was inconsolable. Annette Greene held and balanced that household up and without her the remaining Greene's lives were bleak.
Beth still could not believe that her mother was dead. She had been alive, smiling, giving orders and holding her five days before and now she was not. No, she was six feet underground and Beth could not stop weeping. Her mother, alongside Daryl, had been her best friend. She could always count on her mother when she needed her. She could always reach for her mother when she was having a rough day, and she would always receive the best advice from her mother that allowed her to see past that gray cloud that would sometimes plague her. But now her mother was dead and she could not guide her past that dark cloud. Maggie tried but her sister was different from her mother. Maggie did not see or explained things as well as she did. Her daddy was too immersed in such dark cloud too that he was also no help. Shawn, well, he was at least trying to help himself, which was a good thing, though that did not leave him enough room to help Beth.
Then there was Daryl of course. Daryl who was with her every day after her mother's unexpected death. Daryl who strongly held her hand, anchoring her at the funeral. Daryl who would look at her with worried eyes every time she refused to take a bite out of food. Daryl who pounded at her bathroom door as she did the most stupid thing she had ever done. Beth could not believe what she had done. She had actually tried to end her life. How could have she been so selfish, she thought. Her mother would not have wanted her to do that; she would have been devastated. No, her mother would have wanted to live her life, be patient, and made her dreams come true no matter the obstacles she faced. Her mother would have wanted her to get married, have children, and be there for her daddy and siblings through these hard times. Her mother would not have wanted her to join her so soon, and yet there she had stood applying pressure to her wrist with her other hand as Daryl finally managed to open the door and she realized what she had done.
Beth, with tears clouding her sight, had turned to face Daryl repeatedly chanting "I'm sorry" to him and she was. She was completely sorry for her actions, for allowing that dark gray cloud to suffocate the want to live out of her. She was sorry for doing that to her family, to Daryl. Daryl who had rapidly crossed the room to reach for her wrist and apply pressure with a towel, and with a look of heartbreak clouding his handsome features.
After taking her to the hospital and getting her daddy put back together Daryl had sat with her in her childhood bedroom. He sat with her for hours clearly worried about her, and that was when Beth knew she had to ease his worries. She had done something completely stupid and selfish and she could not help to think about how if she had not actually realized that she wanted to live, she would have just made the dark cloud, that was beginning to recede from the farm, darker and dragged Daryl into it as well, and she definitely did not want that. Nobody deserved what she had done and she could not help to stop apologizing.
"I'm sorry" Beth then hoarsely said again. "I'm so sorry for doing this to you Daryl, to daddy, Shawn, Maggie. I just thought that it was all worthless now that momma isn't here to keep us together and I just did it. I wasn't even thinking."
"It's ok, sweetheart," Daryl replied with a gentle voice. "It's ok, really because in the end you're still here and you can still live your life and make your momma proud."
Beth, who by then had begun to sob, could just shake her head in agreement whilst also reaching with her right hand for Daryl's, which he hurriedly gave her. Pulling him into a crushing but also weak hug Beth could not help but think about Daryl and how she was lucky to have him in her life. She also could not help to but think about how her momma would have been happy to know that she had him in her life too. He was obviously helping Beth balance her life just like her momma had.
"Tell me does he know about that song?" Daryl then said grin that she loved so much and effectively distracted her from the thoughts that said "no, he didn't know about her scar".
"Hey baby! How was the trip up?" Beth asked Daryl, who alongside her father, Glenn, and his friend Rick drove up North for a three day hunting trip.
"It went fine." answered Daryl as he entered his room in the cabin the men had rented. "Glenn was being a little annoying though."
"Well it is his first hunting trip. Be a little easy on him." Beth plead for her brother-in-law.
"Yeah, I'll be easy on him if he doesn't scare all the game away with all his chatter though." threatened Daryl who moved to sit on his bed.
"Hey! Unless you want to die by the hands of Maggie then I suggest you don't harm Glenn in any way." Beth reminded Daryl.
"True. I don't want to die by the hands of your sister. She wouldn't make my murder pretty and I wouldn't want you to see that." chuckled Daryl.
"Oh! How considerate of you!" Beth then mockingly giggled.
"You know me, always thinking about what's best for you. What are you doing anyways?" Daryl curiously asked.
"I'm actually just finishing editing a song that I wrote for you." casually said Beth with a grin as she looked at her lyric journal.
"Really? You wrote me a song? About what?" Daryl questioned her interestedly.
"Oh! Just about how much I miss you?" innocently replied Beth.
"Beth it hasn't even been twenty-four hours since I last saw you." replied Daryl amused.
"Yeah, I know that, but I still miss you so much." Beth said with a pouty voice. "Now do you want to hear the song or not?" she inquired perking up.
"Of course. You know I love listening to your music." replied a clueless Daryl.
"Okay!" Beth then said as she placed her phone on speaker, and began to strum the strings of her guitar and began to play.
Humid night, I wake at 3, all wired, What's a girl to do if she's not tired? Feeling ache, hunger low in my tummy, Mouth full of freckles sure sounds a-yummy, Getting hot and I'm feeling a little bit,What I would give for your salty inviting scent, I admit I am scared to be on my own, Though parents bragged I'm a kid who plays good alone, Crunch up my blankie, I put it between my knees, I curl my toes and I give it a good hard squeeze, I just pretend, just pretend, just pretend you're there, I just pretend, just pretend, just pretend you care, Turn to my tummy, I'm movin' my hips around, I wanna scream but seems silly to make such sound, I just pretend, just pretend, I can taste your sweat, I just pretend, just pretend, you can hear my breath
Aha aha ha aha aha ha ha ha , Aha aha ha aha aha ha ha ha, Aha ah ha ah ha aha ha ha ha–
Boy you're real sorry that you didn't call or write,.But baby boy it's a-a-a-alright, I miss kisses in the morning light, But havin' some fun learning to love myself tonight
Aha aha ha aha aha ha ha ha , Aha aha ha aha aha ha ha ha, Aha ah ha ah ha aha ha ha ha–
I hope you don't think it's dirty, To be so selfishly flirty, My body and brain have been reelin', From this unanswered sexual feelin', You never thought this girl could make such noise, I never thought I'd have such fun, no help from boys, You got me pinned up against these mirrored walls, It's in my head, I don't worry 'bout trips or falls, I just pretend, just pretend you can feel me shake, I just pretend, just pretend but this next part's not fake
Aha aha ha aha aha ha ha ha , Aha aha ha aha aha ha ha ha, Aha ah ha ah ha aha ha ha ha–
Aha aha ha aha aha ha ha ha , Aha aha ha aha aha ha ha ha, Aha ah ha ah ha aha ha ah ha ah ha ah ha ah ha ha ha
"So what do you think?" asked him Beth as she finished her song with an enormous smile. She knew that Daryl was probably dying after hearing her cute, flirty, and sexy song. She was honestly proud of it since it completely tarnished her "good girl" image.
"Daryl? Are you there?" Beth asked as she checked that their call had not disconnected. It had been about two minutes after she finished her song and Daryl had not said a word since.
"Hmmph…Are you trying to kill me girl?" Daryl responded after he cleared his throat. After hearing his girl sing such provocative song that she wrote for him, he was left with a painful hard on.
"No, I was just trying to show you how much I miss you." mischievously replied Beth. "Also I wanted you to know what I think about doing with you when I am alone."
"Um well I'm flattered." Daryl quietly exclaimed as he adjusted himself. Suddenly he was wishing he had stayed with her instead of going to his hunting trip.
"Can't wait for you to come back so we can exercise what the song says. I guess until then I'm gonna have to just pretend." playfully answered Beth as she hung up her phone and not giving Daryl an opportunity to tell her that maybe she should have had made sure he was alone when she sang songs like that to him.
"Does he know that your favorite meal to cook is lasagna? The lasagna that your mother only gave you the recipe to since she knew that Maggie would destroy it?" Daryl questioned her bringing a blushing Beth out of her previous memories and into new ones.
It had been six months since her mother had passed away and surely but slowly Beth's life went back to normal. With the help of Daryl and her family members Beth has brought her life back to resemble what it was before. She went back to college, completed her assignments, went to work, and spent time with Daryl and specially her father. She made sure that she spent more time with him after her mother's death. She did not like him to be alone so much in the family farm. So on every Wednesday night she would go to the farm to cook her mother's famous lasagna. Her father had come to then name Wednesdays as Spaghetti Tuesdays, and she loved that. She loved that her father was slowly starting to joke again since her mother's death.
Almost everyone in her family attended Spaghetti Tuesdays when they could, and one person that would never miss those nights, other that Beth and Hershel, was Daryl. Daryl was always in attendance on Spaghetti Tuesdays. He stated that he did it because he loved the lasagna but Beth knew he did it too because he liked to be around her father. Daryl had high respect for Hershel and vice versa. He always enjoyed being in the company of the elder, who was like a father to him, a father who gave him the best advice and support.
"Food's ready!" Beth called from the kitchen as she took out the lasagna from the oven, "C'mon."
"We will be there in a second Bethy!" yelled Hershel back to his daughter before looking back to Daryl, who he was having a conversation about hunting. "You know son, I'm really glad that my Annette gave that recipe to Bethy. I wouldn't know what I had done if I never had another bite of that lasagna." verbalized Hershel as he got to his feet.
"I don't know what I would have done if I had never eaten that lasagna," Daryl stated as he too rose to his feet. "Probably live a really sad life, since I would have been missing out.
Chuckling, Hershel said as he headed to the dining room, "I'm also glad that Maggie didn't get the recipe. I love her but my poor daughter can burn water."
"Yeah! Maggie is lucky that Glenn cooks." agreed Daryl with a smirk on his face as he followed Hershel.
"True that. I'm also glad that Maggie found Glenn too though. They are truly made for each other. I just wish that my Bethy gets the same things as her sister. You know, a great man, just like you." ambiguously stated Hershel as he moved to the kitchen to see if Beth needed some help.
"Yeah, I hope she gets a great man too." quietly muttered Daryl as he stayed in the dining room.
"Oh! Son, I think she already found him. He just doesn't know it yet." declared Hershel with a wink as he turned and entered the kitchen to find a guilty looking Beth. She had obviously heard everything, and Hershel could not help but wink at her too, making his daughter smile widely at him.
Yeah, she loved Spaghetti Tuesdays. Those were the days where she was surrounded by the people she loved, even though one of them was clueless that she loved him, as well as, the days she got to cook some of her mother's legacies.
"Daryl, why are you asking me all these things?" pondered Beth, who was on the verge of tears, still standing in her doorway.
Daryl, however, did not answer her question choosing to continue asking her his. "Beth, does he know you double tie your shoes, and hate to wear high heels?"
"Does he know you say your favorite color is green because you like to be ironic?
"Does he know that you regret not telling off that girl Dawn who would make fun of you in high school?"
"Does he know that you want four kids and that you want to name them Catherine, Anne, Dylan, and Hunter?"
"Does he know that you get the newspaper just to read the articles many journalists worked so hard on because you hate the fact that people only get the newspaper nowadays for just the coupons?" Daryl asked swiftly as he tried to catch his breath after is question rampage.
Moving closer to her he then asked her, "Does he know about that spot that gets you undone when making love?"
Suddenly not meeting her eyes he asked, "Does he know that you're only with him because I told you to be?"
"Tell me, does he know?' questioned Daryl as he lifted his eyes that were now spilling his tears.
"Please do tell me, so that I can leave your doorway, and let you finish getting ready for your engagement party. So that you can go and marry him and have a life." choked out Daryl desperately. "Tell me, so that I know you will be good."
Beth, who had also allowed her tears to fall, only stared at him. She remembered all the things that Daryl had just grilled her about. She remembered telling him that "High heels are evil and a male invention to make women butts look bigger" as they left Glenn and Maggie's wedding.
She remembered teasingly telling him that her favorite color was green, when he asked her, out of the blue, one day near Valentine's Day. "You should've already known that Dixon, the color is in my name. Duh!" she remembered mockingly telling him only to have him tell her that she was lame.
She remembered telling him about Dawn, a girl from her Anatomy class that grew into her body much faster than any girl in her class. She recalled telling him, as he caressed her naked back, about how Dawn would make fun of her because of her petite figure and "non-existent breasts" as she called them. She remembered him telling her that Dawn was "fucking stupid" and that she was the most beautiful woman in the world, as he kissed her shoulder. He had also told her that that Dawn girl was jealous of Beth because she would never amount to be half the woman she was.
She recalled telling him the names she planned to name her (their) children. She remembered how he said those names were beautiful, but also wondered if she was going to give the father a say in the names. "Don't worry," she had said. "I left the middle names for him. Plus they are going to have his last name, ain't that right Mr. Dixon?" she has sassily added to Daryl who only grunted in response.
However, the thing she remembered most of all was making love with him. Their first time was as special as they wanted it to be, and every time afterwards was just as magical. She never experienced anything like what she had with him, and she did not really want to. Her love making with him was a gamut of passion and sweetness, from rough to soft. Their love making was what every person should have. What every person should experience when they were with the ones they loved. And no, her current boyfriend had never ever reached that spot that Daryl always hit. It was like Daryl was the only one that could reach it. It was like he was the only one that was able to give her pleasure.
Blushing, Beth, after she had looked down while reminiscing, then looked up to meet Daryl's eyes. She could see his worry, his sorrow, his defeated soul and heart. Yet, she could also see a confident look too. She knew that Daryl knew that he did not know all that about her. He truly did not. The one person that really knew Beth Green was him, Daryl Dixon. From all the years that they had known each other, he was the only person determined to know all about her emotionally, mentally, and physically. The same could be said about her. She knew Daryl the same way he knew her.
She remembered the haunting day that he broke things with her. That day he told her that he did not deserve her. He stated that she deserved a better man; a man that was not all scars and surrounded by darkness. She recalled that day because that was the day after his mother's death anniversary. She guessed he regressed after he went to visit his mother's gravesite that contained no body. In that melancholy day she realized just how much Daryl loved her. He loved her so much that he was willing to give her up just because he believed he was not the right man for her. That day she was left heartbroken, but at the same time not. She decided to respect his wishes, to show him how much she loved him even though it killed her.
A year after he let her go Beth decided to date him. She did not want to. She wanted to be with Daryl but she then thought about how Daryl would not return to her until her stubborn man saw that she did not belong with another man but him.
He had annoyingly tried to get with her for months and she agreed to date him just to respect Daryl's wishes, so to say. She felt horrible for using him but she had no choice. She did try to make her relationship with him nice. He was a nice boyfriend but their relationship was not as great as her relationship with Daryl. He did not fill the void. When she accepted his proposal she was settling for the good man that Daryl wanted her to be with. She was regarding Daryl's wishes because she loved him. She was accepting because she did not want Daryl's selfless act to be in vain even though she knew she would never be happy without him.
However, what Daryl did not know was that at the engagement party she was going to break things off. She could not do it. She could not marry a man that was not Daryl Dixon. She also could not do that to him either. As much as their relationship revolved around the guy, who only wanted to showcase her as a trophy, and only seemed to care about his needs, she could not do something so selfish to him. He had always been nice to her. He loved her to some extent but he was not as nice and loving as Daryl had been with her. Her heart belonged to Daryl and only Daryl; she had to obey her heart. She needed to be with him and she was determined to get him, "his selfless act be dammed" she had thought as she got ready for the party before there was a knock at her door.
"No." Beth then exclaimed as she got out of her reverie and as Daryl drew in a shocked gasp. "No, Daryl I am a hundred percent sure that he does not know all that about me." she added as she closed the distance between them and cupped his face.
Continuing she then said, "He doesn't know all those things about me, because he doesn't love me like you do." Moving to press her lips to his cheek she added, "He doesn't know you miss me so bad too. He doesn't know that I am dying to return to you and for you to want me back. He doesn't know that all I think about is you. That I think about stopping playing around and making you see that you do deserve me. He definitely doesn't know that all I have been thinking about today is that that engagement should be ours."
Pressing another kiss to his forehead and then pressing her forehead to his, she stated, "I love you, Daryl Dixon. I love you so much that the only reason I was doing this today, or was about to do before you arrived, was because I wanted to respect your wishes that we both know were fucking stupid. I wanted to make your sacrifice worthwhile, even though it killed me to do so. I am so fucking glad you opened those dam beautiful eyes and came through because you just made things a hell lot easier for me." she then finished saying as she pressed her lips to his passionately while Daryl did the same.
After reluctantly pulling away because they needed oxygen, Daryl could not help to ask another question, "Does he know that you only curse when you're really angry or extremely pleased?"
Beth, who playfully smacked his arm for his implications, answered him with a giggle, "No, Daryl I can't say that he does. Now, c'mon let's stop this engagement." Hungrily kissing him one more time Beth then grabbed his arm and pulled him along to break off her engagement.
Fin.