A Tale of Two Souls

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chapter one: you are a tourist

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Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.

"Castiel."

It was odd for the angel to be woken for the first time. Being an angel, he had never slept-never needed to sleep. So needless to say, the feeling of being woken was so foreign to him that when he opened his eyes, he felt no small amount of confusion and panic. His eyes darted around as he assessed his situation, seeing a white tiled ceiling and a concerned-looking, unfamiliar female face hovering at the edge of his vision. He turned his head slightly to take in her appearance, noting her fair complexion, dark brown hair pulled back in a messy bun, and rectangular-framed glasses perched on her nose. Her face was free of makeup, a smattering of light freckles on her nose, and the edge of a scar at the top of her forehead, disappearing into her hairline. He narrowed his eyes in concentration, trying to decipher what she was. Her presence did not feel human to him, nor did it feel like anything he had ever encountered before. He became confused when the concern on her face eased into a small smile.

"Try all you want, Castiel, I'm not one to be deduced so easily," she said with a wink as she straightened from her position bent over her 'patient', holding out an ice pack wrapped in a towel. "Here, for your headache."

Castiel frowned, moving to sit up from his place lying down on the sofa. "I don't have a-" He cut himself off when lights seemed to burst behind his eyes, a sudden throbbing erupting in his skull. He almost fell over, but a long-fingered hand caught his shoulder and steadied him as the cold pack was pressed against his forehead and eyes, bringing some relief from the unexpected pain. He didn't remember ever having such pain, not even when the archangel smote him—

"Wait." He grabbed the hand on his shoulder and gripped it tightly, almost desperately. "Where am I? I'm dead, am I not?"

The woman grasped his hand and guided it to the cold pack, and he took that as his cue to hold it in place in her stead. He felt the couch sag a bit to his left as she sat down beside him, even though he couldn't see her with the cold pack over his eyes, which he wasn't about to remove as it was providing him a fair bit of relief from the pain.

"You are...and you aren't."

"That is not very specific."

"I'm not a very specific person," she retorted. "But what I mean by that is, your soul is in limbo. While your fate is being decided, this is where you'll stay. And when it is decided, you will either return to life or you will die. While you're here, it means that nothing is concrete, and everything is possible." She placed her hand on his shoulder again. He was beginning to perceive her as the kind of person that took comfort from the touch of others. Her voice was soft as she continued, "I don't want you to get your hopes up, though. The majority of people that come here do end up dying."

Castiel understood the implications of the situation. It meant that there was hope for life yet, but that hope was slim. And while he knew it was unwise to get his hopes up, he couldn't help it. He felt as though he had not yet fulfilled his purpose-hadn't achieved everything that he could. And he couldn't help but feel as though he wanted to fight alongside Dean and Sam once again.

"Alright. If your headache's starting to fade, I can whip you up some tea that will finish it off," the woman said, giving his shoulder a pat and rising from the couch. Castiel assessed the faded throbbing before voicing his findings.

"Yes, I believe that it is receding. I would be much obliged," he said, finally feeling well and brave enough to remove the cold pack from over his eyes and place it on the couch beside him, once again taking in the appearance of the strange, unfamiliar woman with slightly narrowed eyes. She had a definitively feminine figure; slim, but with curves in the right places. He supposed to a human she would appear attractive, but what concerned him was her soul. It was...irregular; like nothing he had ever encountered before. Rather than being situated in her chest cavity, like most every being's (human or not) was, hers rather seemed to radiate through every inch of her. As though she, herself, was nothing more than a soul. But souls without a body did not have a human appearance. He was utterly baffled by her being.

She smiled, sparing him a glance as she placed a kettle of water on the stove and switched the element on. "And what does your Angel Vision tell you about me, Castiel?" she asked lightly.

His brow furrowed. "Admittedly...very little."

She grinned cheekily and turned to fully face him, hopping up to take a seat on the counter behind her.

"Well, then. Let me introduce myself," she said with a wave of her hand. "The name's Ellie. Ellie Harken. I was a nurse in life and am a caretaker in pseudo-death. On bad days, I equate myself as an eternal babysitter." She chuckled at her own joke. "I guess you could call this my version of heaven on a good day, though. Being able to help people, even in death...it can be fairly rewarding."

Castiel searched her face for any signs that she was lying, but came up empty. So she was telling the truth, then. But how...?

"Why have I never heard of limbo, then?" He demanded, voice as calm as ever despite the turmoil he felt within at all the new information he was being bombarded with. "As an angel of the Lord, I should be informed of all events and places that affect the life and death of souls."

Ellie grew somber at his words. "That's because God never intended people to know of limbo. The only souls that know of it are the ones that are currently experiencing it." She gave a wan smile. "As soon as a soul is out of limbo, it forgets its existence completely. Whether it lives or dies after it gets out...it forgets either way."

Castiel's blue eyes pierced into her grey ones.

"So, your job is to eternally care for souls while their fate is being decided...and to never be remembered as doing so." It was a statement of fact, not a question. He watched as she swallowed, her gaze falling away from his.

"...Yes."

He frowned. "How is this your heaven? Does it not fill you with more sadness than anything?" He was genuinely confused. "Your heaven should make you happy, should it not?"

She still did not look at him, staring instead at the kettle that was beginning to produce steam.

"It does make me happy...for a time," she admitted softly. "It only makes me sad when the souls I care for leave." The kettle began to whistle, and she quickly removed it from the stove to pour the boiling water into a teacup with various herbs in it. "I guess you would call it more...bittersweet, than anything." She smiled slightly, pouring water into a second cup with plain tea leaves in it, setting the kettle back down and bringing the teacups over to the couch, handing one to Castiel and keeping the other for herself. She carefully sat, making sure not to slosh the tea out of her cup as she perched herself beside Castiel on the couch. She glanced at him, only to find he was studying her again. "You know, no matter how much you stare at me, I'm not going to do any tricks." She smirked. "Those require incentive."

Castiel looked puzzled at her words. "Incentive...?"

Ellie's shoulders shook with mirth, though she stifled her laughter, hiding her grin by taking a sip of her tea. After sipping enough to recover her calm expression, she merely smiled at him innocently.

"Maybe if you stay long enough I'll explain what that means."

Castiel gave her an odd look before sipping his own tea, finding that it took the edge off what remained of his headache quite nicely. He found that even though the water had been boiling hot, the heat did not feel as though it would burn his vessel. Perhaps, he figured, because he was no longer in a vessel, being-well, not dead, but in limbo, rather. Either way, he had retained his human vessel's form, possibly because it was the form which he had come to prefer due to the connection he felt to humanity while in such a form. It was...preferable, he thought, to the unbridled soul he had been before. While he had been capable of everything he was capable of in a human vessel, he had felt no true connection to anything other than heaven before that, and even heaven he had only felt a true connection to because he had known nothing else. And now, he thought, he felt even more human than he had while occupying a human vessel. Perhaps it was because he had been shown his own mortality, and was being taken care of by another soul, rather than being the one caring for others. While fighting alongside Dean and Sam, he had been the one who had protected them, but now...now he was being protected. He wondered if this was what it felt like, to have a loving parent in one's life. He wondered if this was what God would have been like to him if He were still in heaven. He looked at Ellie with new eyes at such a thought. He had never known a mother. Heaven had never needed a mother, for angels were warriors, and such sentiment as motherly affection was viewed as weakness and straying from the cause. Not that he felt there was any point to the cause, now that he was basically as good as dead.

Ellie caught his gaze and lowered the teacup from her lips, setting it on the coffee table in front of them and angling herself towards him.

"Castiel...?" she asked, expression showing concern for him, for the second time since he had awoken. "Is something wrong?"

Having all but drained his teacup, he set his down as well, mirroring her position. "Ellie, were you ever a mother, by any chance?"

Watching her expression change, he knew immediately that he had said the wrong thing, though he was unsure why it had been such a wrong thing to ask. It was a simple enough question, nothing terribly person, he didn't think. Her next statement, however, proved him wrong.

"No. I almost..." She took a deep breath, to calm herself, it seemed. "But no. I never was."

Castiel's brow furrowed. It was his turn to grow concerned for his caretaker's suddenly fragile-seeming mental state.

"I apologize. I seem to have upset you."

She closed her eyes, turning her face away from him again. "No," she said. "It's okay. I'm just not used to people asking questions about me. That's...not exactly the point of limbo."

Castiel blinked, surprised. "There is a point to limbo?"

Ellie looked back at him again, biting the inside of her cheek as she seemed to choose her words carefully. "The point of limbo is usually to focus on the soul in question and...what it lacks." She seemed to grow more confident in her speech, turning to fully face him, folding one leg beneath her on the couch. "It's a chance for the soul to examine itself in its entirety, and better itself in ways it never had the chance to in life."

Castiel's thoughts turned inwards, and he drew into himself at the terrifying amount of possibility that came with the situation he found himself in. "I can do...anything I desire?" he asked quietly, almost afraid to hear her answer. He had to force himself not to shy away from her touch as her hand came to rest on his shoulder once again.

"Yes, Castiel," she replied. "This is an opportunity to do what you want, for once...rather than what you feel is expected of you."

Castiel was silent for a moment, contemplating what he wished to do with this opportunity. Anything he desired? The possibilities were endless. However, he knew from the moment he realized the great opportunity he had been given what he desired to do with it.

"I would like to learn more about humanity."

Ellie smiled.

"Then learn you shall."

A/N: Like it? Hate it? Drop me a line, lemme know what you think. I'm thinking this will be a two- or three-shot, but it has the potential to be a lot more if there's enough interest.