Author's Note: This is just something I couldn't stop thinking about, so I decided to write it to see what happened... feedback is much appreciated RR please!

John had been avoiding the new recruits. With each set of arrivals, he felt he disappointed them. Stories had been going around for years and the moment they returned to Earth, they had seen him. They saw the older man that he was, the one who was nothing like the big, strong man they believed him to be. It hadn't bothered him as much in the beginning, but seeing the surprised faces of others stopped being amusing.

It was nearly midnight when he finally left his office and he knew it wasn't likely that he would run into anyone in the Mess. He was excited to finally eat and forget about the welcome speech he had to give the next day. A second was all it took for him to freeze in place. He had just walked through the door and spotted them at once. It wasn't surprising to see Teyla out and about. It was the routine she had made to get TJ to sleep. What was the cause of his suddenly racing heart, was the woman the Athosian was talking to.

"Alex?" he questioned just as his feet began moving again.

The tall, brunette turned her head and grinned widely as she took a partial step toward him. "John?! I can't believe it's you!" she exclaimed before wrapping her arms around him. He returned the hug and pulled back making her chuckle. "Still uncomfortable with a woman's touch. You haven't changed at all."

Swallowing, the Colonel glanced over to Teyla, who was watching them carefully. "Looks like you met, Teyla," he said softly, not knowing what else to say.

"Oh, yeah. She was telling me about where she's from. Wouldn't have made that guess, or have thought this was even real."

Smiling, John nodded. "I'd say you get used to it, but there's always something… Why didn't you say anything?"

"Didn't exactly hear from you too often and I know how protective you are, so I thought if I told you, you'd worry. I just arrived yesterday, so…"

Nodding, he let a nervous breath. "Well, yeah… But uh, guess I'll have to watch out for you myself."

"Like there's any other way," she teased. "It's high school all over again." Looking at her watch, she sighed. "I should get some sleep. Apparently the Military Commander wants us newbies up early tomorrow." Moving her eyes around the room, she looked back to the Colonel. "You're not going to tell me who he is either, are you?"

"He's a hardass, but he gets the job done."

Rolling her eyes, she chuckled. "I'm definitely going to see you later." Turning toward the Athosian, she smiled. "It was great to meet you. Thanks for the advice."

John watched her go, turning around until she was out of sight. He could feel Teyla behind him and realized he was out of character. "What advice did you give her?" he asked before looking over to her.

Shrugging, she gave him a teasing smile. "I merely suggested that the stories she has heard of the commander here were not exaggerated." He turned his head and she followed his gaze, realizing he was looking where Alex had left. "You seem surprised to see her."

"I uh, I haven't seen her in years. Just before Antarctica. She hadn't decided what she was going to do then. I guess she forgot to tell me after that. I only got a handful of letters and if she's here… She worked her ass off."

"You have known her long?" she asked, trying to remember if he had ever mentioned her. He wasn't one to talk about his past, but there had been times when he let his guard down.

Shrugging, he turned toward the fridge and motioned toward it. They moved together easily, just as they always did. "About half my life, I guess. Went to school with her."

Teyla knew it was a lot of information coming from John and decided not to push, though she wondered just how close they had been. "Perhaps now you have the opportunity to reconnect."

"Yeah," he replied as he grabbed a bottle of water and a wrapped sandwich. "How long did it take to get him to sleep tonight?"

Sighing, she looked down to her son, who was sleeping against her chest as he sat on her hips. "Nearly three hours. Jennifer assures me that it is natural, but…"

"But what?" he asked as he saw the expression on her face.

Sitting down across from him at their usual table, she frowned. "I fear the reason he does not wish to sleep."

Confused, he set down his food and gave her his full attention, hoping to say the right thing to help. "What do you mean?"

Teyla frowned, but knew that she should have expected him to ask. When it came to her and her son, he always wanted to know. "I fear that he, too, dreams of the Wraith. If it is so, how… How am I to ease these fears? I am unable to protect him."

"You're the only one who can, Teyla. If he is having dreams of the Wraith, maybe you can change that." She looked at him in confusion and he did his best to give her a comforting smile. "You have these dreams too and you know how to deal and now, they're not happening as often. I don't know how you do it, but if you could connect with Kanaan, can't you do it with TJ?"

"It was not Kanaan," she said in a tone that told him that she still blamed herself for believing that it was. "His change is what allowed his mind to reach mine. It is not possible with Torren."

"Have you tried?" he asked, surprising them both with his tone. "Look, all I know is that you can do some pretty cool things and the Wraith DNA can probably help you both out. But you could be wrong. Maybe he dreams about that time McKay nearly dropped him."

She was surprised that he would suggest it, but he was one of the few who didn't think poorly in the shared Wraith DNA. "Do you truly believe it's possible?"

He knew she was referring to the connection with her son. "I believe if anyone can do it, it's you. Look, you won't know unless you try, so why not give it a shot? If you're afraid something will go wrong, I'll ask Keller to meet up with you and Kanaan."

Nodding Teyla gave a small smile before looking down to her son. He was still sleeping, but from the soft whimpers he was releasing, she knew she would have a crying boy in her arms. "I will give it some thought. Torren will be waking soon, I should return to my quarters to keep from disturbing the rest of the base."

"The walls are soundproof, Teyla," he told her with a grin.

Smiling back at him, she leaned forward a bit and raised her eyebrow. "Yes, that is something you would need to know."

John felt his heart begun to race at the tone of her voice. It had been too long since they had teased and flirted with each other, but thinking back, he couldn't remember her getting to him like this. He watched her smile widen as he stared at her, making his mind race to keep up. "Says the woman holding her son."

Holding his eyes, she sat back in her chair. "It would appear the walls are useful to us both."

The Colonel felt his jaw drop and quickly tried to keep her from noticing. He always did his best not to imagine Teyla in bed and now he couldn't stop himself from wondering what sounds she made.

Deciding to take it up a notch, the Athosian said, "No matter how loud one is, no one outside the room hears."

John watched as she looked up, appearing to be thinking of a time when she was clearly thankful no one heard her. The thought made him twitch and he allowed himself to imagine being the one to make her scream out in bed. "Guess that only matters if you're the loud one."

"Yes," she sighed, bringing her eyes back to his. "To be driven to such a point... It is wise to have such walls."

He was suddenly glad that he wasn't eating. Hearing those words come out of her mouth would have made him choke. As it was now, his mouth was salivating, dying to taste her and see for himself what kind of noise she could make. Kanaan. Remembering the other man, her husband, tore those thoughts from his mind. She wasn't his to think that way about. He had to stop this, but he couldn't let her win this game they were playing. No, he had to end this. "Uh... You should probably get TJ to bed."

Nodding, the Athosian smiled as she stood. "Yes, it is lucky he has his own room."

His mouth was open as she walked away. He was surprised she'd continued, having thought it would stop whatever it was they were doing. If she hadn't left, or had Torren not been with her, who knows what would have happened. He had barely any control over himself and that last thing he wanted was to do was ruin their friendship or her marriage. He realized he was walking down a slope and he couldn't let it happen.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

Alex pulled herself up onto the pier, stretching out to let the water dry off in the sun. She was surprised her old friend was her commanding officer, but she was thrilled to spend time with him again. John was currently beside her, lying on his back in the sun. He was just as quiet as he had been before, but there were certain topics that change that. The only subject she wanted more information on was a certain woman. The mention of her name made his jaw lock, fighting off the smile that was given away by the look in his eyes.

Whatever it was between them, it wasn't enough for him. She knew that the Colonel loved Teyla's son, but it was clear to anyone who saw them together. Torren, or TJ if you asked John, was two years old and small, but it didn't stop him from trying whatever his favorite uncle wanted to do. That was why they were out here on the pier he was going to spend some time in the water.

Looking over, Alex smiled. "Do you want to go back there?"

Surprised by the sudden question, John turned his head toward her. "Yeah. Atlantis belongs out there."

"It's a long way away, John."

"Doesn't matter. It's where we should be."

"And you think it'll go back?"

Shrugging, he let out a soft sigh. "Doesn't matter. We'll get back at some point. I don't really care how. We're the reason the war got bigger and someone has to stop the Wraith."

Rolling onto her side, she grinned at him. "If you go back, you finally going to tell her how you feel?"

"It doesn't matter, Alex. She's married. Happy. I'm not going to say something and lose her."

"John-"

"Doesn't matter anyway."

Shaking her head, she sighed. "Yeah, yeah, you don't think she feels anything for you. You really haven't changed. God, John, you can go out to another galaxy, but you can't make a move on a pretty girl." Chuckling, Alex rolled back and closed her eyes to the sun. "You know, I've seen the way she looks at you. She's not indifferent to you. Hell, she leaves her son with YOU, even when everyone else offers to watch him."

"She's married. She's not going to have feelings for another guy. And I'm not going to make that choice for her."

"Because you're not Patrick," she said knowingly. "You're not your dad, John, but maybe telling her how you feel will make you feel better about it."

"There's nothing to tell. Just... Drop it, okay."

"When have I ever dropped anything?"

Chuckling, the Colonel shook his head. "You're right. You're like a dog with a bone. But if you don't drop this, you're on night duty for a month."

"Hey! I'm just trying to help. You're the one sitting up at night, talking up sexual tension with her and you still haven't found a way to beat her."

"We weren't... I don't know what we were doing."

Smiling widely, she looked back to him. "You were having verbal sex in the mess hall."

"Night duty, Alex."

"Untle John!"

Sitting up, John grinned and watched as the boy wobbled forward, clinging to his mother's hand. He could walk fine, but he demanded to always wear the combat boots he and Lorne got for him. They were two sizes too big, but it didn't stop him from wearing them. "Hey Pal! Looking good!" he laughed before looking up to Teyla. Something was wrong, but she was doing her best to hide it. As much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, he could tell she had been crying. Coming to his feet, he met them halfway across the walkway and lowered his voice. "You okay?"

Forcing herself to smile, Teyla nodded. "Yes. I was not feeling well this morning."

"Teyla-"

"I am fine now, John. I promise. Mr. Woolsey asked that I help him with the schedules. I should not be gone longer than agreed."

"It's fine, really. I don't mind watching him and if things get too wild, Alex will drive the women away from us."

Unable to stop herself, she smiled. "Yes, they do seem to come around when you are in the city. I believe your current state of dress will bring far more attention. Though, the view is worth it," she told him as her eyes moved over his bare chest.

His heart was racing again and the game they had been playing before was suddenly back in full swing. "It's the best show we've got, unless you wanted to blow off Woolsey. We could get you into a bikini; see if the water is warm enough to make you lose it."

Raising an eyebrow, Teyla took a step closer to the Colonel. "I do not believe the warmth of the water to be as effective as body heat."

Blinking, John tried not to imagine her naked body pressed against his, but found it impossible and he knew that if she looked over him one more time, she would see the tenting of his swim shorts and know exactly what he was thinking. "Nothing better than body heat to keep your limbs moving."

Treating him with a coy smile, the Athosian let out an aroused breath. "Yes, the warmth provides excellent blood flow."

He coughed for a moment before he was able to breathe properly. "Haven't had any complaints," he said in his best casual tone.

Nodding, Teyla let her smile widen. "I do not imagine a woman to have any complaints on your... blood flow," she said as she glanced down his body once more. "Though perhaps a complaint would bring forth more effort."

"If you think I lack effort, you can shed the uniform and-"

"Water Untle John?" Torren said, interrupting.

"We will, Pal," John said as he glanced down to the boy now pulling on his hand.

Smiling widely, Teyla took a step back toward the doors. "You should go. I believe my loss of clothes would make it difficult to care for... other needs."

John tightened his hold on Torren's hand before swallowing back the urge he had to pin Teyla against the wall with his body and show her exactly what he needed. Instead, he lifted the side of his mouth in preparation of his reply. "You're right. If I'm going to take care of someones needs, they're not going to leave my bed."

"Perhaps that is where you should only begin," she said softly. "There are many other surfaces that can be just as fulfilling."

She was walking away before he could reply, before he could even think of something to say. His mind was currently running through his room, trying to decide what he'd take her on first. Though the bed would be comfortable, he now had the image of her on against the wall in his shower.

The moment they were alone, John looked down to the boy. "You want to jump into the water? I've gotta cool off."

"I'll bet you do," Alex said as the boys moved close to her. Helping Torren take off his boots, the brunette sighed. "You're in trouble with her. I'm even wound up after that. Is that how it always is with her?" she asked before noticing the small Athosian's swim shorts. "Did Teyla make these?"

"She wouldn't let me buy him another pair, so I gave her an old pair of mine that she could fit to him." Grinning, he knelt down and began making sure the boy was covered with sunscreen. "Besides, she ended up making three different pairs out my old one." Turning TJ to face him, he wiped the last of the sunscreen on his nose, making him giggle. "Alright pal, you're all set. Let's get the vest on."

As he usually did, Torren bounced up and down until his life vest was buckled on. The minute it was set, he turned and raced toward the water. "Tome on Untle John!"

John caught up with the boy quickly and just before jumping into the water, he lifted him up and took him along. Both laughed as they return to the surface and as they usually did, they laid back and let themselves float along. After their first time swimming, John learn to tie them together since Torren had the habit of kicking his legs under the water to move and see how far he could get. Every now and then, he felt himself being pulled and reached out for the boys legs in the water. Grabbing his ankle, the Colonel pulled and splashed his other hand around making the small Athosian attempt to sit upright in the water with a squeal.

"You remember the last time you got away? Your mom wanted to kill me for letting you go out that far."

Confused, Torren frowned, "Momma wasn't mad at you."

"I don't think you remember the yelling," he teased. Though he knew, for him, he'd never forget. He had had to swim back to Atlantis with the young boy clinging to his neck. He saw her at the edge of the pier and had slowed down as she called out to him. She was right. He had been careless and reckless but what surprised him was that she had not hesitated the very next time John asked to take him swimming.

"Momma said she afraid for you. I shoulda been tareful." Frowning deeper, he sighed. "Momma said you tould've died betause I'm not tareful."

"Hey, look at me. It's not your fault, okay? I should have been keeping a better eye on where we were. And your mom... she just worries because she loves you so much." Tilting his head, John smiled. "I don't know why, though," he teased, making Torren's mouth turn into a pout. "You're so small and ticklish!" He said just as he grabbed the boys feet and began to tickle. "But we just want you to be safe Pal."

"Betause you always have to save momma?" He asked. "Momma said she was afraid for you out here betause you do things for others," he said, hoping to have quoted his mother correctly.

"She's right. I'd do anything for you. And she worries so we have to be more careful. We can go out, but not that far. Maybe we can get your mom to let me take y'all surfing. We'd go out farther than this."

Torren smiled widely in excitement for a moment before shaking his head. Grabbing John's tags, he pulled himself closer to his Uncle. "Momma tan't swim."

Surprised, the Colonel suddenly remembered the time Teyla asked him to take Torren out with him when he was swimming. She told him that she hadn't want her son to fear the water and now he understood why she never joined them. "Guess we'll just have to teach her too, won't we? You think you're up for it?" When TJ nodded. John grinned. "Well, let's make sure you are. Let's swim back to the pier. If we both make it back without needing help, Alex will give us some chocolate cake."

"We don't tell momma?"

"Exactly!" John grinned. "The minute she finds out we eat cake before dinner, she'll kick my ass."

Torren worked his little legs beneath the water, trying to swim faster than John, who was leisurely making his way to the pier. Alex was sitting on the edge with her legs hanging off into the water. She hadn't been on Atlantis long, but she already knew his biggest secret. If it was anyone else, he'd deny it until his final breath, but he was almost relieved that he had someone to confide in. She's going to be a pain in his ass about it, but at least he'd have someone.

Reaching out, Alex pulled Torren out of the water and laughed as he shook his head and splashed water on her. "You should wait for Uncle John to do that. He's the one who needs to cool off."

"Yeah Yeah. The swim took care of that," John said as he pulled himself up onto the pier.

Smiling widely, she shook her head. "Might have helped the blood flow, but you're still thinking about it."

"Alex," he warned as he pulled a towel out of one of the bags he had sat at the wall Torren had already lost his life vest, but he knew he couldn't get out of it fast enough when they weren't in the water. "Leave it. Here you go, TJ. Arms up and I'll wrap it around you."

"You really think she just goes off and doesn't think about it? She probably ran off for a cold shower."

Rolling his eyes, John sat down and sighed as Torren settled in his lap. "Doesn't matter, Alex. She's married, has TJ... Hey teeje, you think your mom'll let you sleep over tonight? I've got some new stuff you'd want to play with."

Nodding rapidly, he grinned. "Momma won't mind. She's going to see father... She doesn't want me to go, too."

John felt his heart sink as he thought of why Teyla wouldn't want her son around when seeing Kanaan. Maybe she was just as sexually frustrated as he was with their banter, she needed time alone with the other man. The thought made him grit his teeth, but he knew it was his fault. He hadn't made a move, so she found someone who did. She deserved that. A man who was brave enough to tell her how he felt, who could show her. Anyone other than the emotionally stunted man he was.

Leaning against his uncle's chest, Torren sighed. "Momma don't want me to know they argue," he whispered as though he was afraid someone other than the two around him would hear.

"What?" John asked, trying to understand how anyone could argue with Teyla only to realize he had done his fair share of it. She only argued when she believed in it, when she trusted her heart over her head.

"Father want to go home, but momma... Momma lite it here. Wosey said we tan go bat, but she doesn't want to leave."

Confused, the Colonel tried to think back to the memos he'd mostly ignored, trying to remember one that mentioned a ship going back. He knew that if she went back, he'd never see her again. He'd never make it back unless they decided to let Atlantis return and even if they did, would she still be alive? Would Torren? John knew he wouldn't be strong enough to lose them.

"I wonder why she doesn't want to go home..." Alex said, hinting heavily that she thought it was because of John.

Looking over to her, Torren frowned. "Momma say it is our home. She love it here," he added with a smile coming to his lips. "Family here."

"Doesn't mean she doesn't have anyone back there," Sheppard said softly. "Her people are there and I know she misses them."

Tilting her head, Alex tried to get him to look at her. "What would you do if they decided to leave?"

"Hide Torren," he answered quickly with a grin. "They can't go anywhere without him."

"I tan hide in your room," Torren agreed quickly. "Momma say you tant find anything in there."

Raising an eyebrow, John looked down to the boy. "Hey, I found that marble, remember?"

Giggling, he nodded. "Five days! Momma said I tant bring toys there anymore." Sighing, he lowered his head. "She say I should be tareful with the toys you get me."

"She's the one who stepped on it. It's not your fault." For a moment, John let himself remember that afternoon. She had come to pick up Torren and as she came toward them, she stepped on one of the marbles and he had jumped to catch her, only to end up falling with her as TJ wrapped his arms around both of their legs. They'd laughed for a good minute before he tried to show her what Uncle John taught him and attempted to blow a marble out of his nose. She had given him the "look" and to keep from being chastised, he hurried to gather the toys, only to realize he was missing one.

"I tan hide in your toset," Torren said thoughtfully. "You hide momma's presents in there."

"Presents?" Alex asked with a grin.

Shaking his head, the Colonel groaned at the tone she used. "I hide all the Christmas gifts in there."

"And some specifically for Teyla."

"Maybe. Doesn't matter since she doesn't know who they're from."

Giggling once more, Torren looked up at him. "She know they from you. She say you're the only one who'd think of them."

Blinking slowly, he sighed. He thought she hadn't known. He didn't want her to, but if she did, why didn't she say anything? Swallowing, he shook his head. She knew he didn't want her to know, so acted as if she didn't because she knew him. He didn't want the attention or interaction that would come from her knowing. John wanted nothing more than to stay in the shadows. "Well, guess I'm going to have to start writing someone's name on them. Think she'd believe some stuff came from McKay?"

Shakign his head, Torren smiled widely. "Did you believe the batman shirt was from Untle Rodney?"

Staring down at the boy, John swallowed. He had been fairly certain that the scientist hadn't given him the shirt, but being honest, he didn't think it came from Teyla. "Your mom got it for me, huh? How? I didn't take her shopping last year."

"Aunt Jennifer showed us," he said proudly. "I help pit it out."

"You did? Thanks Pal!" Giving him a brief hug, he raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Coming to his knees, Torren moved himself over John's leg and over to his new favorite footwear, looking around to make sure his mother wasn't around. "Momma said she hide my boots if I told you."

"Any other secrets you're hiding from me?" he asked the boy, hiding the way he felt knowing that Teyla had gone out of her way to find him an extra Christmas gift.

With widening eyes, TJ shook his head slowly, the way he did when he was asked if he ate junk food before his dinner. It was an obvious lie, but John knew that whatever he was hiding, Teyla asked him specifically not to tell. If he pushed, or bribed, he could get any information he wanted, but he didn't want to do that to him. Coming between the relationship with his mom, the Colonel knew that couldn't be fixed. As much as it killed him to think she had someone else's son, he couldn't deny the kind of mom she was. In so many ways, she was perfect and being a mother, it was just another one of them. Her everlasting patience must be tested daily, but no one could ever tell. She was always calm, and never raised her voice at him. He'd watched her ease a temper tantrum in the mall by kneeling down beside him and talking. He had understood her reasoning and in the end, he had felt badly for causing a scene. What made him chuckle as he remembered it, was that Torren had apologized to his mother and to those who had looked on.

Closing his eyes, he tried to bring himself back to the moment and not allow himself to end up back to feeling like he lost the best woman in existance. "Okay, so you want to swim a little bit longer or-"

"Cate?"

Nodding, John chuckled. "I should have expected that. Okay, fine. But if your mom finds out, it's Alex's fault."

"You think she'd believe I'm the one who gave him cake?"

"Why do you think I had you go get it from the kitchen? If she's going to be mad at someone, it's not going to be me."

Smiling, the other woman shook her head and pulled out the pieces of cake she brought. "You know angry sex isn't always the worst."

"Alex!"

"What sex?" Torren asked and watched as John glared at the brunette.

"Nothing. It's not even a word. Alex thinks it's funny to make up words to see if you can keep up. So in this case... I think she meant conversation."

Nodding, the young boy grabbed a handful of cake and shoved it into his mouth. "Father mate up words when he talt to momma."

Surprised, John shifted to look toward the boy. "Well, maybe they don't want you to know what they're doing when they're alone."

"They not alone. Momma say she tant be."

SGA SGA SGA SGA SGA SGA

John had put Torren asleep hours ago, but he was nowhere near joining him. He was sitting on his couch with Alex sleeping in his bed. They had come up with a new game and it had wore them all out. The Colonel should have been passed out, too, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Teyla. It was far from unusual for him to stay up late in thoughts of her but, for once, he didn't want to shut them out. She was with Kanaan and whatever it was they were doing that kept her from wanting Torren around, he wished it kept him from wanting her.

Alex was right about one thing, their banter indeed aroused him, but unlike her, he couldn't do anything about it. She went home to her husband and released the needs, while he waited until he was alone in the shower to pretend he wasn't imagining her. In truth, she was in his every fantasy and none of them were light. Sometimes he had woken in the middle of the night with a painful hard-on and her name on his lips, and other nights, he woke up mid orgasm. He hadn't had so many horny dreams since he was a teenager, but the moment he walked out of his room, he pushed it to the back of his mind.

Laying back on the couch, he closed his eyes and let himself imagine what she looked like in bed. If she was his, he'd make sure she wasn't trapped in a single position. He'd take his time and explore her the way his eyes did when she wasn't looking. He wanted to know if she was loud as she hinted at, or had she only played along? It was easy to think of her as passionate in the bedroom, the same way that she was in a fight.

He'd thought about it more times than he would admit, but he still found himself up at night, thinking about what she would be like in bed. Would she like what he wanted to do to her? Was the Athosian way different than anything on Earth? Was she ticklish? If he kissed over her body, what would her reaction be? If his hands were to caress her, would his callused hands hurt her perfect skin?

John wondered what she tasted like. If her lips still had the same taste they held years ago when he forced himself upon her. The thought made him hope she had given it further thought. Gritting his teeth, he tried to keep from thinking if she would let him taste her entire body.

He had just bit back a growl when his door opened. Turning his head toward it, he let out a deep breath as Teyla peeked in. He knew it was her before he saw her. His door only opened that way for her when he had Torren. He'd wondered if she stopped by in the night. If she hadn't he was more far gone than he thought because he'd swear that he could smell her in the morning. She moved toward the bed quietly and froze midway.

Alex.

John watched her, surprised to see her shoulders drop at seeing the other woman in his bed. She began moving backward and he couldn't stop himself from sitting up.

"Teyla?"

Jumping, she spun around to the couch. "John! I- I'm sorry, I did not intend to wake you. I wanted to check on Torren," she whispered and moved back to look toward the bed.

Coming to the edge of the couch, John sighed. "He's fine. They basically wore each other out."

Nodding, the Athosian began inching her way to her son. "I'm sorry, John. He is keeping you from being with her."

"What?"

"I will bring him back to my quarters and you will have a chance to be with your partner."

Chuckling, John stood up. "She's not my girlfriend. You're more her type than I am." His smile widened as she looked back at him with confused eyes. "She'd take you to bed if you'd let her."

Glancing back to the sleeping woman, Teyla smiled. "Perhaps she would bring release," she said before looking back to John, who from the look on his face, was trying not to imagine the two women in bed together.

"What're you doing here, anyway? I figured Kanaan would have kept you... tied up for the night."

Raising an eyebrow, Teyla took a step toward him. "If one of us was to be tied up, it would not be me," she teased before straightening her shoulders. "I will take Torren so you may sleep."

"He's fine where he is, Teyla. I'm sure you and Kanaan can find something to do all alone in your quarters."

Surprised, the Athosian studied his face for a moment before realizing that he didn't know. "Kanaan and I do not have that kind of relationship."

"What?" he breathed out, hoping to hide the confusion in his voice. "But he's your husband."

Tilting her head the way she did when she was confused, she moved closer to be able to continue whispering. "We were never bound, John," she stated clearly, shocked to see the surprise in his expression. "Our short relationship ended just after Torren was conceived."

"Wait, what? I assumed and you never said anything..."

"I believed everyone knew. Kanaan has his own quarters and he is returning to New Athos on your next ship."

"What?" he asked a little louder than his previous words. "You're not... you're not going too, are you?"

Shaking her head, she smiled a small smile. "No, Torren and I will remain here."

His first thought was to ask her why. To ask why she didn't want to go home and be with her people, to raise her son with them. The next was the selfish part that didn't care. She would be there with him. The illusion of family he'd created around her and Torren would remain. "Aren't you at least tempted to go back?" he whispered.

"Perhaps a little," she admitted just as quietly. "But I could no longer live the life they wish me to."

"Do they uh.. do they know that you two aren't uh, together anymore?"

"They do. Halling explained that it was more than obvious when I told him."

Nodding, he tried to think of a time when he should have seen it. When he should have known she wasn't with Kanaan. "You uh, you tired or do you want to grab some coffee in the mess?"

Smiling, she took a sidestep to allow for his movement to her reply. "Perhaps a tea," she whispered, taking in the pleasure on his face at her agreement.

TBC