After the death of Beth, the group hit a low spent the next few days, getting vehicles and supplies together, just until we knew what to do and where to go.

Daryl and I had found a van, we had Judith with us as we had more room and it was more comfortable for her. Plus we had the majority of the food and water with us, which made it better for the baby to be with us.

Daryl wasn't right the first few days, and when ever we stopped all Maggie did was cry.

Rick consulted us all, about a place that Noah used to live with, with his family. It was a gated community and he had been taken by the hospital people when he had gone on a run.

We all agreed that this was our best chance now. It was a long drive but it would all be worth it if it all worked out.

We scavenged as much as we could, before setting off on our new mission. Daryl and I took it in turns to drive as it was a very long way and we wanted minimal stops, in case we were ambushed by walkers or the living.

That was the scariest part of this new world order, it wasn't just the dead that we had to worry about. The dead were minor, it was the living that were the big problem, and that scared the shit out of me.

The drive was actually quite pleasant as the van had a CD player. The music was cheesy 90s and 90s RNB which I loved.

Daryl hated the music but I kept catching him singing along lots of times.

It was nice to just forget where you were for a while, it was like we were a proper couple in love going on a road trip.

Judith sat on my lap whilst Daryl drove, on the second day of the trip.

She was giggling and clapping her hands along to the music, and I finally saw Daryl actually smile, for the first time since Beth had died.

"You would have been such a good mother" he smiled.

"I'm glad I didn't though" I replied.

"what makes you say that?" he asked.

"Because they would have been dead by now, In this life" I replied.

"You never know" he added.

"It wouldn't have been fair on the baby or me" I sighed, "I didn't have this really good group of people around me like this little madam has"

I held her close to my chest.

"Maybe one day" Daryl said.

"Maybe" I smiled.

We finally made it close to where Noah had lived, and under Rick's instructions, only a small group of them would go to the actual place at first, so they could make sure it was safe for us all. So the rest of us set up camp 10 miles out.

The decided that Rick, Michonne, Glenn, Tyrese and Noah would go to Noah's old place.

Daryl and I went on supplies run just in case it went to shit. He didn't me.

We found a drug store and I took loads of medication. Painkillers, antibiotics, and I even found some contraceptive pills.

I took Bandages and any other first aid things we might have needed.

Daryl was so sweet and made sure he got tampons for the ladies, with water and food for everyone.

He seemed to have got worse as the days went on and felt like he was pushing away. Every time I tried to talk to him about it, he would get funny and walk away from me.

Daryl got all of the shelves of baby food, for Judith and it was the cutest thing ever.

When we got back Rick had radioed in and told us that the camp was no good and that they were getting some supplies then coming back to us.

I felt really disheartened about it being no good for us. I tried to keep a brave face for everyone though as I knew everyone was still upset about everything that had happened.

I was feeding Judith in the van, when Daryl came in to me.

"Tyrese has been bitten" he said punching the dash board.

"What how?" I asked.

"I don't know, they have have chopped his arm off but he has just passed away as they were driving back" he said.

Judith was asleep by now, I climbed over into the front of the van and grabbed Daryl's hand.

"That is totally shit" I said.

"he was a good guy" he said.

I know babe, it's shit. Really fucking shit" I sighed. "let me help you"

"I don't need saving" he said pulling his hand out of mine and jumped out of the car. He slammed the door behind him.

I burst in to tears as I watched him walking away in the wing mirror.

When everyone arrived back it was the saddest thing ever. Sasha now was the same as Maggie, she had no one now not even a partner.

We had a little ceremony for him as we did for Beth. Daryl didn't speak to me at all for the rest of the day. The only time he spoke to me was after him and the other original members decided that we should still go to Washington and he came back to the Van to tell me that we would pack up first thing in the morning.

I lay within inches of Daryl but didn't speak or touch him. I couldn't sleep and kept tossing and turning. When I had just finally dropped off to sleep the radio jumped into life. It was Rick to tell us that there was a herd of walkers coming towards us.

I jumped up, slipped my boots off and grabbed my gun with the silencer. Daryl grabbed my hand.

"you're not going out there" he said.

"get off me" I said pulling my arm away.

"What are you doing?" he snarled at me.

"I don't need saving!" I said.

I opened the window of the passenger side door and hitched myself on the roof of the van.

I scanned my surroundings and saw a herd of around ten walkers coming up towards our camp. I looked across to see Rick behind one of the cars. He nodded at me and then I took six of them out in rapid sequence.

Rick looked at me and smiled. He ran up the road away, with Glenn and took the rest out with knives. I slid back down into the van through the window and rolled it back up behind me.

Daryl wasn't happy at all. He gave me the silent treatment and lay back down in the back of the van.

I couldn't sleep the rest of the night, and neither could Daryl. We just lay there in silence and it was unbearable. I sat up just as the sun was about to break. I put on my boots and a jacket.

"Where are you going?" Daryl said sitting up.

"For a walk!"I snapped.

"No you ain't" he replied.

"I fucking am, and there is nothing you can do about it" I replied. I was struggling to stop myself from crying.

"Oh yeah there is" he said standing up. He grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the front of the van.

I pulled my arm away sharply, "I don't need you, I don't need any of you. I did it alone for too long and I will do it again." I reached for my bag. Daryl snatched it out of my hand.

"You might not need me,…. us! But you sure has hell want us" he replied.

"I don't want you Daryl, well not this Daryl I want the Daryl that I met the Daryl that I loved up until this past few weeks. I get what you have been through, what we have all been through its a lot to take in. But none of this was my fault and you're acting like it was, you're pushing me away. If you don't love me anymore just fucking say it and I will be on my way. But make sure that's exactly what you want, because when I'm gone I'm gone. There's no texting to say you missed me, no calling me up to say you made a mistake"

"Don't you get it? It's because I love you I'm like this" he replied.

"Don't you dare put that me" I said pointing in his face. I shouted angrily.

He smacked my hand away and grabbed my arm. He pulled me close and looked me dead in the eye.

"I'm scared, scared that I'm going to lose you, lose you like Beth, like Tyrese. How can I protect you? If I couldn't protect them?" he asked.

"I can protect myself" I said stubbornly.

"I know you can, but this feeling, it's hard for me to get rid of. I love you so much you don't understand." he replied.

"Then make me understand!" The tension between us was unbearable again and there was only one thing that was going to change that. Just as I was about to turn and walk away, he grabbed my bum with both hands, swung me round and pushed me down on the mattress. We had mad passionate sex right there and then. Afterwards he burst into tears, all I could do was hold him and kiss him and tell him everything was going to be OK.