Some Things Never Change
A/N: Hello one and all :) This is my way of dealing with episode 4.18! I started this story with the intention of making it about 5/6 chapters long but it can actually stand by itself I think. I'm debating whether or not to add what I intended to… I'll see how this goes down first.
I own nothing! If I did 4.18 would have been a lot different!
Some things never change. Unfortunately for Betty Suarez London winters belonged in that category. It had been yet another bleak and miserable day as the bustling city edged ever closer to Christmas Day and Betty's team at Meade's London office was working over time in order to get the January issue put to bed (an industry term but she liked it).
Minutes slowly trickled into hours as the final touches were put to Just Be, the UK's hottest new magazine thanks to a perfect blend of real life every day issues to absurd extremes, she even managed to squeeze in a fashion section - fashion had been good to her after all.
It had been 18 years ago that she had made the decision to quit Mode for good and relocate across the pond. Daniel begged, pleaded and…well nobody should ever know how far he was willing to go… to keep her with him in New York but this was something she had to do.
It was scary…no, downright terrifying… but just a year later she left her old life behind and headed back to London, the place where she met her sandwich guy all those years ago completely by chance. He set her on the right path and for that she would be forever grateful and, although she would never admit it to anyone but herself, slightly heart broken that he had moved on.
But all of that was in the past! He was happy, he was married and he was successful. All he, or indeed anyone, could ever ask from life.
Betty too had everything she had ever dreamed of…everything except one. She had never settled down. Life just always seemed to get in the way and in all honesty men frightened her! Around Betty they tended to go a little crazy.
Walter it seemed got out early and escaped the curse of Betty relatively unharmed, although she had heard he'd taken a lot of therapy workshops and now kept butterflies…
Matt, on his return from Africa, once again professed his love for her but their time apart had only succeeded in distancing the two of them. It barely lasted a month and last she heard he had around 7 children all to different mothers.
Jesse also went off the rails. He wrote a string of songs clearly aimed at one Ms. Suarez and posted them on every single one of his networking sites. Betty swiftly removed him from her contacts.
Daniel…well he never really loved her in that way but for a while he thought he did. It drove him completely insane and in the end it was thanks to Amanda he got over his little crush. Betty didn't like to think of what she must have done to help him get over it…all she knows is it involved handcuffs and whipped cream.
As for Henry…the less said about him the better! It involved courts and restraining orders, a long and messy process she tried to block from her mind.
An assortment of suitors all bewitched by the girl in braces. Even today she still had an effect on all of them…all except him. All except Gio.
It hurt to remember him, to feel the sting of a missed opportunity and suffer an eternity of 'what ifs' but such is life. No point in dwelling on it. She honestly didn't dwell on it all the time. A little…now and then…not much but just the right amount. It's only natural right?
She had drifted off into her own little world for a moment and didn't even notice the finished article lying on her desk awaiting her signature.
"Um…Ms. Suarez?" her assistant Jessica whispered hesitantly, not really wanting to wake her boss up from whatever daydream she was in.
Betty shook her head and glanced blankly at Jessica.
"We need you to sign off on this and then we're good to go." she offered a weak smile, desperately hoping she wasn't in trouble.
Without putting any thought to it Betty scrawled her signature across the document, not even bothering to look at it.
Jessica hadn't moved. She stared at her boss in astonishment at her lack of interest. Betty was always so meticulous from the front cover to the last full stop. What had distracted her so?
"I hope," she began delicately, not sure whether or not to continue, "I hope nothing is wrong Ms. You don't seem quite yourself today."
"It's just been one of those days Jess." Betty smiled back at her, a sadness glittering in her eyes. "Get off home to that lovely little boy of yours and have a very merry Christmas."
Jessica still didn't move as she genuinely began to worry for the woman she saw before her, always so strong and confident, now seemingly broken.
Betty chuckled a little but her laughter held no happiness.
"I'll be fine. I was just thinking about…the past. You know how Christmas just gets you that way somehow? It's such a great time of year but it's always tinged with a little sadness."
"I understand." she whispered. And she did. It was about this time of year Jessica always remembered her father who she lost ten years ago but now, at Christmas, it always felt as fresh as though it were yesterday and she knew all too well the best way to deal with it. A little alone time.
"Goodnight Miss and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas."
"Thanks Jess and I've told you a million times to call me Betty!" she smiled at her again, a little more sincerely this time. "Tomorrow I'll be on a plane back home and all this silly nostalgia stuff will be behind me. See you in 2029!"
With that Jessica left and Betty turned to face the window. She glanced out across the city, watching the many lights glittering in the darkness and her eye traced the familiar skyline to her favourite sight.
The London Eye.
Still, after all this time, she felt the despair she felt that night when he told her he was engaged. He joked that it hurt a little that she couldn't have him anymore. He was completely wrong of course. It didn't hurt a little.
It hurt a lot!
Today was his anniversary. Not his and Betty's but Gio's and Angela's.
In the many years that had passed since she read about their union in the paper she had never learned how to deal with this day.
Tonight was to be no exception.
With heavy heart she reached for her glass of mulled wine and toasted towards the huge wheel, wishing beyond all hope that it had been her. It should have been her.
This was how she spent every December 18th.
Some things never change.