I wish I could take it all back.

Every day since I happened I've felt this pain, if I could go back in time and stop myself from picking up that notebook, I would. Sure it would mean that I never got to know you but at least you would have been here.

The memory is still so clear in my head.

I saw you fall from the chair, my heart dropped into my stomach.

I held you in my arms for a moment as your beautiful dark eyes stared up at me. I wanted to hold you for a while before this and if not in those precious few seconds, I never would.

I smiled down at you, as you realized who I was. That wasn't the reason,if I hadn't smiled, I would've burst into tears in front of everyone. What happened was my fault, I set it all up.

If Kira was going to continue to exist, you had to be sacrificed. I regret your death most of all. You asked me once if there was ever a time when I told the truth, I'm going to now. Ryuzaki, I love you and I'm so sorry. You may not have brought me to justice like you wanted, but you've won.

I loved everything about you, just to be near you made me feel.. I wanted to stay there. You took a piece of me with you when you closed your eyes and entered your eternal sleep, never again to open them, I died with you. I tried to hide it from the rest of the taskforce.

You're right, I'm just a murderer, but I need you to come back.

Nothing is the same. I miss you. Tell me this is one of your tricks to get a confession, you have must be some kind of way out of it,you'd be the one to find it.

here it is Ryuzaki, I am Kira, I am a murderer and I don't deserve to live. That's what you wanted wasn't it?

If you can hear me Ryuzaki, I didn't want you to die,it had to happen but I had no pleasure in arranging it.

There's no reason for you to believe me, I've lied to you so often. I wish things had been different. I'm sorry about Watari too, I know you cared for him.

It's too late in the game for regrets, but it doesn't change the fact your death will always haunt me. No one will ever know how much I loved you. I wish you had. I guess all that's left is to say goodbye.

I hope you understand.

Light rested a hand on the grave marker, no name was given, this added to the pain in Light's heart. No one would ever know. For light to think of L lying there for eternity filled him with great sadness.

"Goodbye Ryuzaki, I'll always remember you, I'll come back again soon." Light hesitated before walking away, tears falling as he made his way back through the cemetery gate. He hoped that he could hold it together for one more day.