A/N: This is just a slightly edited version of the same with different word choices and small additions.
He'd opened his mouth to say everything he'd been needing to say for months, and yet he knew it was all for nothing. She'd thrown her lot in with another man, and he respected her too much to go about this the wrong way. He wanted her, more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life. And he'd be damned if rash actions on his part drove her away. And it would, if he kissed her, like he wanted to. Oh, it might not right now. Something in him told him that right now, she'd say yes. She would take a chance. But sooner or later, she would feel the strings pulling her back to her commitment, a commitment he knew she would never take lightly. And if he held on to her, it would tear her in two. And he would lose her anyway.
But he wanted to say it. He wanted to say, come with me. He wanted to kiss her, hold her, tell her again he'd always be there, to make her understand just how much he meant that. But he knew it would ruin everything. And when it came down to it, she would lose any respect she had for him now. The first kiss had been a mistake—only the circumstances has prevented the repercussions that should have occurred. As it was, he knew they were merely postponed, not avoided. Eventually, they would have to deal with it. Today had taught him that the chance for that could be whisked away at any moment—and that terror, more than anything, drove him to speak.
But now that death had been averted, he knew, he couldn't justify it. He couldn't destroy that trust, so tenuous, that had sprung up between them, despite their mistakes, their lost moments, their unspoken words.
So he straightened up, distancing himself physically, hoping his emotions would follow. He needed to leave, now, or the fear that had driven him all day, the intense desire to protect her, to hold her, would assert itself again. So when the devil himself waltzed into view, it was jealousy mixed with relief that followed him down the hall to the elevator. And it was desire mingled with satisfaction that stood with him as the doors closed.
Even wrapped in her lovers arms, she was watching him.