In Search of the Village Hidden in the Sound
Sakura and Naruto had just pooled their money to Jiraya – Naruto's froggy was feeling very flat and Sakura's multi-coloured purse seemed to be on a severe diet. Only to get strict instructions not to enter the village at all costs while he went on his 'reconnaissance' mission.
Jiraya went to town, swinging his arms and making exaggerated movements with his legs, and he half-turned and raised a leg and an arm, delightedly bidding them goodbye. He was such a kabuto at times, with the streaks of triangular paint on his face and wild hairdo.
He couldn't resist a keg of ale from a road-side vendor so was teeter-tottering as he ziggy-zagged his way into one of the numerous taverns with the flashing neon signs of ladies outlined. Once inside, he was served by a couplva young ladies dressed in high-cut kimonos showing lots of leg, who fussed all over him, stroking his arm, his chest and dosing him liberally with sake.
"Hic! Do any of you Pretty Hic Girls know where the Village Hidden in the Sound is?" He was too drunk to notice two of the girls stiffened and let go of him at the question, as one of them turned circles on his belly seductively and said.. "Well, big guy, its sure not here, why don't you and I go look in the back?"
Jiraya agreed without hesitation, and allowed himself to be led to the rear, where a door was opened with a jingle of keys. He entered a lushly cushioned room, and the door was locked behind him. As he reached out his arms to the girl, she suddenly withdrew and produced a can of Catty Choice – the Cat's Preferred Food!
OOC madness begins.
Jiraya choked and gasped as the Catty girl rimmed the cat food can with her dexterous fingers "Oh no! It's seafood in prawn paste jelly!! My only weakness!!" He collapsed in a help on the floor. Catty grinned evilly as she approached with an ebil looking 3-pronged pokey thing.
"The pace is too fast you just can't last!
Yo think Yo cool and teh funk
But Now Yo know you just junk!
Lie down and die old man let us take your place
Dream your pervy dream of a little girl wearing lace"
Oh nooeess its… Rap-hael! (see TNMT) Just then our sturdy hero stumbled and his pants came loose and out popped a short stick.. --! He pressed a few buttons on his baton and it extended into a cudgel!
"Well now Rap-Catty lets see how you do against.. the Don-na-tello!" He spun it round and round as he advanced – a seemingly impregnable defence. But Catty merely smirked as she made a brier of hot stones, and heated up her three-pronged thingymigub and diced the staff into half, then into quarter.
"What now Michealangello?" She enquired sweetly, the pieces of wood held together by the flimsiest of goo.
"Eat Leonardo, you heathen!" He kept his gooey stick back into his pants and roared, going into a crouch, tonguing Catty. His tongue was warm and sticky, and could extend and penetrate to great lengths, and Catty was forced to her knees, moaning and rubbing the slit opening, caused by Jiraya.
"You aren't human!" He exclaimed as she bled yellowish blood.
"Damn right Im not.. Now that you've figured me out I can use this!" She inscribed a series of illegible symbols in the floor around her with her pale yellow 'blood' and Jiraya suddenly felt weaker than ever before, his tongue went flaccid and drooped pathetically on the floor… "What jutsu is that?! Demon?!"
"It's the Da Vinci Code…! Now that you've revealed me as a succubus, you must give me your life-essence!! Wahahahaha…!"
"Noooooo …."
Curtains.