This is based on a true story, actually… My brother and sister…
Heh…
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The Saga of Pilaf's Insanity
By Miyako Inoue, Queen of all Things Cheesy
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'Twas a boring summer day at Pilaf's Headquarters...
Shao and Mai were standing at opposite ends of the room.
"All right,"said Shao, "my weapon is...THIS BRASS PIPE!!!!!"
"Well then FINE!" Mai said. "Because I have the best weapon of all...THESE TWO COMBS!!!"
Shao laughed. They charged at each other. Mai kicked Shao in the head, and sent him flying into the wall.
"Ow..." he said, picking himself up and rumming his head. "I just kicked myself where it hurts. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do?"
"As you can see, I have no need for weapons when fighting such an unworthy opponent!" She began cackling.
At that point, Pilaf skipped into the room, riding on a stick, singing. "Doodeedoo, riding on a broomstick, leaving little twinklies, deedeedee..."
Shao and Mai looked at each other. Mai shook her head. "I think the heat has been getting to him."
"But the air conditioning's on full blast."
"Then why is it so hot in here?"
"The question is, why is he acting so weird?"
"No, the question is, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
"No, the question is, how much ground could a-"
"No, the question is, who cares? Now go get him an icepack!"
Shao saluted. "Ayeaye, captain!" Then he marched into the kitchen to get Pilaf an icepack and stop the insanity.
Pilaf flopped onto the couch on his back and sighed. "Agent Mai!"
"Yes?" she said, expecting some kind of orders.
"Mai, I have a very pointy booger in my nose, do you mind if I pick it?"
A very large sweatdrop formed on the side of her head. "Um, no, Emperor Pilaf, I don't mind..."
"Good!" He jammed his finger right in the middle of his face. "Wait a minute," he said, "I don't have a nose! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?!?"
"Sorry, Emperor."
At that moment, Shao came walking out of the kitchen with an icepack. Pilaf grinned, leaped off the couch, and landed in front of him.
"Swiggedy swag, what's in the bag?"
"It's an icepack. Put it on your head."
Pilaf took off his hat, stuck the icepack on his head, and jammed it back on his head. "Now," he said, rubbing his hands together, "I need you to do something for me, Shao." He grabbed Shao's nose, hard.
"Ow, that hurts, quit grabbing so hard!"
Pilaf was getting a very psycotic gleam in his eyes. "I will grab even harder if you don't do what I say... TAKE ME TO MY BED!!!!"
"Yes, sire."
Pilaf jumped onto his back, wrapped his knees around his neck, put his fist up in the air and started screaming like a cowboy on a bronco. "Giddyap!"
Shao ran yelling down the hall.
Mai sighed. "It's gonna be a long day..."
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That was pretty weird, huh? I was bored, about a year ago, and things happened… Review it, or the cheeses of the world will inflict pain upon you!!!