A/N: In all honesty-my brain is mush at the moment. Midterms are happening again and this spring semester is like a nightmare come through. GRRR. On the bright side, I had this kind of drabbly piece slip into my head while I was sitting at the stoplight and listening to Bruno Mars' "Grenade". Something about it just made me want to write this, so here it is. There is absolutely no connection to the extended endings I am doing for the animated series and no intended pairings-it's just general random song-prompted stuffs.
Disclaimer: Uh...there's a disclaimer?
Robin: *ahem*
Me: What?
Beast Boy: Disclaimer! Disclaimer!
Me: What are you, five years old?
Raven/Cyborg/Starfire: Yes.
Beast Boy: *sniffle* C'mon, guys! That's so not fair! Why are you all-?
Me: Right. O-kay. I don't own any Teen Titans anything (or the lyrics to Bruno Mars's Grenade).
Standing in the empty main room of the Titan Tower, Robin stared out the tall window-paneled wall. The emptiness in the room was echoed in the stormy weather beyond the window playing out before his eyes.
For a moment, the briefest of moments, his hot forehead touched the cool window. The sudden change in temperature was enough of a shock for him to pull back. The cool imprint lingered as he stood, staring at the window until he could see his own reflection staring back at him.
He could see the images in his head again. The kinds of images that reminded him what a serious burden was laid upon his shoulders. A captain, a leader, someone to look up to. That was the unofficial creed that came with the mantle of Teen Titan leader.
One green-gloved hand clenched into a fist as the rain splattered rhythmically on the window. A steady, drumming sound almost as if a song was playing somewhere in the back ground. Robin didn't close his eyes, but he did let his mind wander—just far away enough so the empty space was room enough to think.
Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Birthday. Happy Birthday, Raven. It wasn't supposed to be that way.
"I hope this is okay-"
"No. No, it's not. Look. I really appreciate what you're trying to do here, but I'm not interested."
It was meant to make you smile.
The green-gloved hand clenched tighter into a fist, pressed flat against the cool window.
Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss,had your eyes wide open
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,
"It was just a birthday." Beast Boy stood with his head tilted to the side, his hands cutely clasped behind his back. "I didn't want to make her feel bad."
"Wasn't your fault, BB." Cyborg wiped frosting off his left arm. "Wasn't anyone's fault. Raven's just Raven. Hey, Robin, I'm gonna go and check on that-"
"You do that." Robin interrupted, a careful glance at Starfire. "Star, you okay?"
"But why does Raven not wish to celebrate the joyous day of her birth?"
The gloved hand pressed to the cool window was steady in the pressure slowly being exerted. It did not waver, it did not squeak as the glove remained in contact with the cool window.
The reflection staring back at him did not change. Robin stood still as the memories flowed over him, just like the rain outside the window. Memories of the present he had planned to give her, the day they'd planned to spend together as friends—all of them—all the Titans.
A memory that had never come to life.
Cause what you don't understand is
I'd catch a grenade for you
Throw my hand on a blade for you
I'd jump in front of a train for you
You know I'd do anything for you
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for you baby;
But you won't do the same
It's simple. There is good and there is evil. There are those who commit crimes and those who stop them. The two sides are opposite and as different as day and night and the line between them is clear. Or at least, it's supposed to be…
Dozens of red X's are swimming in his vision as Robin remembers other things. He can hear Beast Boy's echo in his head and his own reply to green boy's frantic exclamation. "Red X? I thought Robin was Red X!"
The things I do to protect you, to protect them…
The green gloved fist wavered—just the slightest bit.
No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb
Tell the devil I said "hey" when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman,
That's just what you are, yeah,
You'll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
"Wakey, wakey! Tofu eggs and bakey!" Beast Boy presented the plate to Raven, wafting the fragrant steam before her face. "You could use some breakfast, especially after the way you fried Dr. Light last night."
The plate had exploded and surprise was handed to everyone in equal parts. Raven's anger was a tangible presence as she had poured a cup of tea and retreated without another word. Her silence said more than she would have.
The gloved hand wavered and fell to his side, unclenching, hanging limply open. So many memories. So many raindrops. So many choices that were always left up to him. So many burdens that were harder to carry than he had ever thought.
And yet, he would not give it up. He would always be there for them. He would stand strong enough for all of them. He had to.
You tossed it in the trash
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
Cause what you don't understand is
I'd catch a grenade for you
Throw my hand on a blade for you
I'd jump in front of a train for you
You know I'd do anything for you
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for you baby;
But you won't do the same
It may be your personal prison of pain, Raven, but you don't have to bear it alone.
Robin's hands fisted in sync with each other as he slammed them into the window. Emotions coursed through him that he was normally able to quell with a single thought. A calm, composed façade he was always able to pull out at will. This time, it was crumbling as he scrambled to put it together.
If my body was on fire,
You' d watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me you're a liar
Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...
He hated this kind of day. The weather made it worse, because then he couldn't get out and run the way his spirit longed for. Training in the gym would mean Cyborg's company, chilling in the game room involved Beast Boy and of course, Starfire would fill in the gaps anywhere in between. Raven would fill the places where Starfire wasn't.
They were all there. They were all fine. There was nothing wrong.
But the things trickling through his head was wrong.
What right did he have to judge them? To judge any of them? Raven for her moodiness and cryptic personality. Starfire for her cluelessness and too-helpful hands. Cyborg for his tech-speak and strangely normal company. Beast Boy for his innocent naiveté and misplaced humor.
The whole lot of them for their broken, shattered hearts, slowly pieced back together. For their fragile strands of friendship that had slowly multiplied and grown until they were thick chains binding him in every way possible.
Wrapped around his hands, his feet, his stomach, his neck, sprouting from his heart to theirs—there was no escape from something he didn't want to run from. As much as they would annoy him, as much as they would hurt him, as much as they would betray him—the answer was always the same. He was their prisoner, now and always. He was their jailer, now and into the future.
He would be the one to hold them captive and they would be the ones to keep him sane.
For every little thing they did, he knew.
Robin sagged forward, his hands fisted on the window as if pounding through the glass as he let his head fall forward to rest on it, feeling the coolness seeping in through his forehead. The choices floating through his head were trivial and great in the same instance.
The options that had been presented, the conversations he'd managed to pull out of each of them—all of it was just for another piece of the puzzle to a picture he knew by heart. They were that close-knit together.
Whatever plagued them—touched him and whatever dared to touch him…Robin took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
But darling I'll still catch a grenade for you
Throw my hand on a blade for you
I'd jump in front of a train for you
You know I'd do anything for you
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for you baby;
And they would do the same—for him.
Robin smiled, turning his back to the window, he slid down until he sat on the floor, back to the storm, waiting for the darkness to pass. It would pass and the light would come. For everything that he gave to them—these precious teammates—friends, always gave it back.
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