A/N: Gilmore Girls, end of Season 5-ish, set to "7x70" by Chris August. I own nothing!
I've been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born
There had once been a time in her life when Lorelai Gilmore considered the seventeen years she had lived at the Gilmore mansion to be far too many.
These walls have seen me happy
But most of all they've seen me torn
For each happy memory from her childhood, Lorelai could find two unhappy ones to counter it. She remembered being so unhappy and felt destroyed with every cutting word from her mother's mouth.
They've heard the screaming matches
That made a family fall apart
Gilmores, as a rule, never screamed. In private, however, this point was nonexistent. Lorelai and Emily had screamed at each other almost on a daily basis by the time Lorelai was sixteen, and pregnant. Lorelai had watched the facade that her parents kept around them fall down as their family fell with it.
They've had a front row seat
To the breaking of my heart
Nothing in the world had torn Lorelai's heart out and smashed it into a million pieces more than Rory moving into Richard and Emily's pool house. Lorelai had worked so hard, sacrificed so much, and ingratiated herself to her parents, and Rory had, in return, slept with Dean, was dating Logan, and had stolen a yacht and quit Yale.
Seven times seventy times
I'll do what it takes to make it right
Lorelai had ended up going to a church in Woodbridge that night, not entirely purposefully. It was the closest place to the point where she had succumbed to the tears, and the racking sobs. She had pulled into the parking lot, and was leaned against her steering wheel, shaking with ragged breaths and heartbroken tears, when a person had approached her car.
The young woman asked if Lorelai was okay, and invited her into the church for a cup of coffee. Lorelai had ended up staying there for the next few hours, and some weeks later, after attending the church weekly and reading the New Testament almost as voraciously as Rory read novels, Lorelai realized that the only way to find closure, forgiveness, and redemption from both the hurts she had received and those she had inflicted on others, was to ask Jesus to take care of them.
Now, as she drove to Friday night dinner, praying the whole way, she knew that she had to make it right between her parents and her, and between Rory and her, as well.
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
She explained, after her arrival and customary drinks, that she was present to ask forgiveness.
Seven times seventy times
There's healing in the air tonight
I'm reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around
Lorelai could feel it in the air in the usually stuffy house. The atmosphere was less charged than usual, and seemed more open and inviting.
I remember running down the hallway
Playing hide and seek
As her parents and Rory were quietly thinking about what she'd said, she looked up into the hallway. She remembered many memories, from hiding just above the staircase turned during parties she wasn't privy to, to hiding from her parents and Chris's, when the adults had been discussing options concerning Rory's very existence.
I didn't know that I was searching
For someone to notice me
She knew now that most of her rebellion and snarkiness during her teen years was due to her inability to make her parents notice her. They didn't seem to, and so the wake-up call came in the form of Lorelai telling her parents that she was pregnant.
I felt alone and undiscovered
And old enough to understand
Just when I'm supposed to be learning to love
You let me down again
Lorelai had pretended to know what she was doing when she allowed Chris into her room, with the house unchaperoned. She had felt loved, and cherished, and wanted. After, however, she had felt dirty, and wrong. She had wanted to ask her mother about it, but felt that she couldn't. She had tried to, and Emily had just brushed her off, misunderstanding that her daughter wasn't asking if she cared that she was no longer innocent, but that Lorelai felt like she had done something wrong, and didn't know how to process her own emotions. It was disappointing to Lorelai that it seemed to matter so little to Emily.
I lost count of the ways you let me down
But no matter how many times you weren't around
I'm all right now
The years of isolation and burned bridges between the two Gilmore households had been of Lorelai's initiation, but she had believed for a long time that it was because her parents didn't want to be around. She had defied the odds and created a life for herself, and had told herself that she was all right. It wasn't until now that she actually felt that she was truly okay.
God picked up my heart and helped me through
And shined a light on the one thing left to do
And that's forgive you
I forgive you
"Now that I've asked for your forgiveness," Lorelai told the three sitting before her, "For all of the years we've misunderstood each other, and fought, and belittled, and whatever else we've done to each other, I forgive you all. It was holding me back from being happy, so I know now that we all have to forgive one another, myself included. I forgive you. Will you forgive me?"
Seven times seventy times
If that's the cost I'll pay the price
Seven times seventy times
I'll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
She told her parents and Rory what had been taking place in her life since the night Rory moved out, and she felt the pain easing as she asked for their forgiveness. She also knew, somehow, that even if they didn't choose to reciprocate, that was between them and God, and it didn't involve her.
Seven times seventy times
There's healing in this house tonight
I'm reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around
Yeah, I'm gonna wrap it all around
"I forgive you, Lorelai." Richard reached out first, enveloping his daughter in a warm embrace. Tears pricked his eyes as they connected in a way they hadn't in a very long time. Emily followed suit, and Rory followed. Each forgave the other for everything gone wrong in their relationship, especially recently with Rory and Lorelai.
"I was so wrong, Mom." Rory hugged her mother tightly, "I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me?"
"Of course." Lorelai hugged her daughter back, squeezing with all of her strength. She had missed her best friend so much.
"I'm sorry we did not support you when you came to us for help, to get Rory to go back to Yale." Richard said.
"I forgive you, Dad; Mom."
I've been living in this house here
Since the day that I was bornFor the first time in her life, as she shared about Christ with her family, Lorelai felt truly welcomed, as a member of the Gilmore family, into their home, with no strings attached, and no burden weighing upon her. She felt loved.