AU: Mark and Derek are not dead but Lexie is. Mark is on the board for the hospital and it's still called Seattle grace.
April hadn't taken a deep breath in a long time. She was unhappy with the situation she had been thrown. All she wanted was Jackson; she wanted him to hold her one more time. She wanted Samuel back; she wanted Lexie back. April Kepner wanted a lot of things in life, but sadly never got what she asked.
April walked into Seattle Grace Hospital with a somber look on her face. She stayed quiet and to herself as she walked into her attending changing room. Alex Karev was already putting his scrub cap on getting ready to go out and save some lives.
She gave him a small smile and waited till he left to change into her scrubs. Since she's 11 weeks pregnant, she's beginning to show. She sluggishly put on her scrubs. Jackson had been avoiding her ever since he came back from saving some Army man's life.
"He's moving on; you need to move on as well. For the baby's sake."
April took a deep breath and plastered a fake smile on her face and walked into the halls of Seattle Grace. She hurried her way to the Er to begin her day.
April went to the nurse's station and started to look over some of the charts on file. Megan Carson, Age 23, complaints of abdomen pain, Vomiting and blurry vision. She checked in five minutes ago, and Dr. Reed has already seen her.
April took a deep breath and took the tablet and went to Megan. April pulled back the curtain and grimaced. Megan looked miserable and had a bucket in her lap.
"Hello Megan I'm Dr. Kepner, can you tell me when this pain started," April asked.
"Sometime…two days ag-" Megan didn't finish; she threw up again. April sighed.
"Can I see your stomach for a second please?"
Megan only nodded afraid she'd throw up again. April put her gloves on and took the bucket away from the girl. She started to apply slight pressure on her abdomen.
Megan hissed when April touched her lower left side. April took her hand away, she called for a nurse.
"Can you call Dr. Reed for me, tell him it's important," April said.
The nurse nodded and walked away swiftly.
"Megan when was the last physical activity you did in these last couple of days?"
"I feel when I was trying to get down the stairs, I'm moving into my apartment." Megan groaned.
"Dr. Kepner can you come here please, I need a consult."
April turned her head to see Mark Solan calling her name. She took a deep breath and gave an apologetic smile to Megan.
"I'll be right back if you need any help just page a nurse and they'll come get me," April said.
She handed the tablet to the next available nurse and told them to watch the girl. She walked over to Mark and gave another fake smile; nobody seemed to notice.
"I need you to watch this patient for me, don't worry just keep her company I'll be back," Mark instructed.
He took his gloves off and walked away from April and the patient. She took the tablet off her bedside and sat down. She took a deep breath.
"How far along are you?"
April opened her eye and looked at the patient. She looked relatively young, but looks are deceiving.
"Um excuse me, I'm not pregnant," April explained.
She felt like she was caught in a major lie. She was terrible at lying to people as well.
"I have four kids. I know that I'm tired breath, you should probably take a break." The girl said.
April looked perplexed, was her body screaming I'm pregnant?
"You don't want anyone to know your pregnant. Or Dr. Solan wouldn't have asked you to watch me. So I guess not even the dad knows?"
April felt like she was always taking deep breaths today.
"No, he doesn't. We're divorced, he works here too, and I'd appreciate it if you did not talk about this please." April pleaded with the patient.
The girl laughed, it wasn't a consenting smile but an ironic one.
"My name is Karen; it's okay I get that feeling. I used to work with Mark as a nurse. When my Husband and I divorced all, I did take a deep breath. I was tired of being pregnant for the third time and being divorced did not make it better." Karen explained.
April was happy someone understood her tiredness. She just needed some break.
April was thinking over her talk with Karen. She was clinging to the false hope that she and Jackson would ever see eye to eye and get back with one another. She needed to be happy; she needed to find her peace again.
April was eating lunch with Nathan. She could see Jackson and Mark eating along with Hunt. All of them laughing and having fun. She didn't understand how Jackson could act like the divorce wasn't hurting him at all. She was dying inside while he was peachy fine about everything.
"Nathan," Nathan stopped eating and looked up at April. "Yes, April?" April swallowed thickly. She knew how he was going to react.
"Do you ever wish you could go back to Afghanistan?" April asked.
Nathan narrowed his eyes at her; he knew where this conversation was going.
"April there is no way in hell the army is going to let you go. With what's going on with you in a couple of months, you're not going to be allowed to fly anywhere." Nathan stated.
April pouted. "It was just an idea Nathan; I know I wouldn't be able to go." Nathan playfully rolled his eyes.
They were both miserable at Seattle Grace. They both needed to escape this hell hole of a workplace.
April had just finished an eleven-hour shift. She was dead tired, all she wanted to do was leave and sleep the night away.
As She was walking past the Nurse station, she saw Jackson and this blonde woman talking. They looked very smitten; it made Aprils stomach turn. They were both in their regular clothing and looked like they were going somewhere together.
April walked with her head down and got into her car. As she was pulling out of her parking space, she saw this new doctor and Jackson get into his car together.
She had taken one more deep breath before she choked a sob out. April drove home in silence tears were silently running down her face.
She arrived at Arizonian's apartment and quietly went into the building. As she went into the elevator, April broke down even more. Her sobs were echoing off the walls; it was slapping her in the face on how alone she was.
April whipped her eyes with her sleeves. I'm a soldier, remember I am a soldier. April was about to open her door when Marks door opened. Jackson and this Doctor were laughing together. They came to a stop when they saw April; it turned awkward for everyone but April.
Mark went out into the Hall to ask Jackson something but saw April and soon grew quiet as well.
April took a deep breath. She had enough of this; everyone was awkward around her because they like Jackson, not her.
"April are you…okay?" Jackson finally broke the silence.
April gave him a bored expression. Her eyes were puffy; her hair was in an ugly ponytail. She was seeing some Beautiful non-pregnant Blonde talking to her ex-husband. His smile was something April had failed to accomplish.
"I'm all right."
April opened the door and slammed it shut. Arizona was on a date tonight, so she was alone.
April dropped her purse by the door and took her phone out of her pocket. She slid down the door and dialed his number.
She waited for the ringing to start up. It took one ring for him to pick up.
"Kepner, what can I do you for?"
"Do you still have that job opening?"
The man chuckled on the other line.
"I'll be there in the morning. Get some rest."
April cried in the shower; she wanted to be married again. She wanted her family whole again. She could not be pregnant alone anymore.
April walked into the ER with a frown. She couldn't be a mother; she couldn't even be Samuel's mom. She couldn't even be a good wife.
April quietly moved about through the trauma center keeping to herself. She's seen pregnant women with their husbands all excited. She put her hand on her belly and longingly looked at these mothers.
Mark happened to be in the ER as well and was keeping an eye on April after last night. He knew after the death of her and Jackson's child she took it harder than Jackson realized. April was talking to Dr. Reed when she abruptly left the trauma center. Mark took his gloves off and followed her.
She was huddled over a trash can. Mark sighed, he took his gloves off. She whipped her mouth off and sighed. She didn't want to be pregnant anymore; she couldn't handle doing this alone. When she turned around, she was startled when she saw Mark staring at her.
"C-can I help you, Dr. Solan?" April choked out.
"Kepner, are you okay?"
"I am okay; I need to get back to work," April said.
She tried to move past Mark, but he wouldn't budge. He was giving this scrutinizing stare. He could tell something was up with her, she had dark circles under her eyes. She stopped being overly confident as well.
"No your not, go to the on-call room and sleep. You need it, and Kepner I better not find you in the trauma center anytime soon." Mark ordered.
April rolled her eyes and walked to the on-call room. She needed a long nap; maybe she'd treat herself to a nice burger.
As she walked by everyone, she just wanted to get away. The whispers were getting annoying. The sad stares that her marriage was over, she couldn't do anything to make that feeling of loneliness go away.
April opened the door of the on-call room. She almost screamed she saw all sorts of colors. Jackson and that Blonde woman together, their clothes half off. Jackson looked mortified, and the woman looked embarrassed.
"Um…Sorry. I'm just…. I'm gonna go now." April squeaked out.
She slammed the door and scurried away. He was moving on with his life while she was stuck in her past life. April saw Merideth and Derek talking having a somewhat funny conversation.
She walked past them not sparing them a glance. Not like none of them would talk to her anyway. Nobody cared for April at Seattle Grace, and she was okay with that. She was upset about being alone; she wanted friends. She wanted someone to talk to; she wanted a support group. That wasn't Reed or Arizona; she needed comfort.
April walked to the entrance of Seattle Grace; she needed some air. She sat on the bench and started crying. She could not be strong anymore; she couldn't even be strong for her failing marriage.
"What's an incredible trauma surgeon like you doing outside?" The voice was gruff and profound.
April looked up and smiled slightly.
"Hey, Ma-ax." She hiccupped.
Max dropped his smile and wrapped his arm next to her. He let her cry. Her pager was going off but she paid it no mind. April missed having a simple life.
When she called Max, he had already made the choice for her. She'd be leaving tonight to move to New York to become the trauma surgeon for his hospital.
"Hey let's get out of here, I know you're hungry," Max murmured.
April just followed the motions. She went back into the hospital and collected her things in silence. Many doctors didn't even acknowledge her; she's the invisible doctor of Seattle Grace. The annoying red head as Alex tells her from time to time.
As she left the attending changing room, she saw the blonde doctor and Jackson laughing along with Mark and Derek. April wanted to burst out into tears; she wanted to be that doctor. Having everyone adore you and not be that annoying doctor.
April took a deep breath and walked out of Seattle Grace. Max was giving her a small smile, a promise of something better finally was coming to her.
At that moment, she could take all the help and hope that was willing to follow her way.
Yeah, it's been a while since I've updated anything in general. Hope you like my spin on jaspril. I stopped updating stories for some of the comments that were given to me and left. If you like the story thanks, but I'm going to leave it at this. I've had a new version of new hero typed out for a good year with a different concept, but many of you were rude to me. So I just left the file on my laptop to not be touched. Every story I have had at least a new and improved version of what I want from my idea. All the stories will not be updated at once, but slowly your feedback will tell me what to tweak and put more emphasis. But I will say this New Hero's updated version will make you wonder what I've been doing for a while. The update will be early in the morning.