Author Notes: I myself am bipolar. It's not that I believe that Goku and Goten are, it's that I need someone to project these feelings onto. One thing I fear more than anything else, more than death, more than the suicidal thoughts, is the fear of passing this down to my future children. So I wanted to express that fear somehow. I poured my soul into this and even cried when writing it because it just hits so close to home for me. Please understand where I'm coming from when I write this. I'm not trying to romanticize manic-depression and I'm not trying to force others to adopt this head-canon but the idea of Goku being bipolar just... feels right to me. Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts.

Hope of Morning

A boy stayed locked up in his room. Of course, that was only a figure of speech. Their doors didn't have locks on them. Still, he wasn't feeling good and he wasn't sure what to think of it. Everything just felt so slow for him.

"Hey sport." In came his dad. The last person he wanted to see at the moment. Hid dad was always so happy and peppy. There was no way he could understand.

"Dad, just leave me be right now."

"You feel really heavy right now, right?"

The boy sat up slowly from laying in bed and stared at his father. "Y-yeah. How did you know?"

"Cause I get like that, too." Goku sighed and sat down on the bed with Goten. He reached out and rubbed his son's hair gently, starring with such pity and sadness. He missed when the boy looked just like him but now his hair was grown out and fell like a regular humans. Still, this was one thing he wished Goten didn't get from him.

"I noticed the other day. You were talking really fast back then. We all asked you to slow down but you just kept going." Goku laughed to himself at the memory. "We were all having such a good time with you acting out like that. And so were you."

Goten looked down. "I get it, Dad. You want me to act like that again. But I can't. I just… can't imagine being happy ever again."

Goku winced. "No, son, that's not right. You will be happy again you just have to wait a few days. This feeling will pass."

Goten shook his head. "I don't think it ever will."

Goku groaned and rubbed his own head. "Goten just trust me. I know how you're feeling. You're feeling like..well, I can't really describe it when I'm not feeling it at the moment."

"Dad just stop." Goten went back to laying down in his bed, covering himself with the sheet and blanket. Goku frowned and bit the inside of his cheek. He was trying his best to be supportive. To be to his son what he never had but he wasn't sure what to do to make his son believe him.

"Goten. This is something I've never told anyone besides your mother. I - " Goku stopped when he saw a notebook next to his sons bed. He picked it up and as he read what was on the latest pages, his eyes grew wide. This was way more serious than he thought.

Over and over again on the pages Goten had wrote "Kill me kill me kill me I want to die I want to die" and everything in between.

Goku began to shake. This would be the hardest part of his parenting. He had to somehow explain to his son that this feeling would pass and that he had support but he wasn't sure what to do.

Finally making a decision, Goku stood up, left the room for a few moments and then came back with a stack of notebooks. "Goten. I need you to look through these. I've been filling them up for years. Ever since the day I died and left you alone with your mother I've been filling this up."

Goten groaned and shook his head under the blanket.

Goku frowned and glared, using his Dad voice. "Goten. Now."

Goten winced and slowly came out from under the covers, glaring right back at his dad. "What? What's so important, Dad? Can't you tell I don't want to see you right - "

Taking note that Goten wasn't going to cooperate, Goku sat down the books, held one singular one up and opened it. He shared with his son his secret and felt his heart stop as Goten starred with wide eyes.

In the notebook was the same as what lied in Goten's. Just a string of 'Dying was the best decision I ever made. It's for the best for everyone. Dying was the best decision I ever made. It's for the best for everyone' over and over and over.

Goten reached for another one at random slowly and looked at his father. When Goku nodded and sat down on the bed next to him, Goten swallowed a lump in his throat and opened it. There was even more. Line after line the pages were filled with 'I should've stayed dead. I made everything worse. Coming back brought everyone pain.'

Goten starred up at his dad. "Dad… what's wrong with me?"

Goku winced and then sighed, bringing a hand to his head and scratching. "Gohan told your mother it's called Manic-Depression. And it's genetic."

Goten looked down. "But I lived my whole life without it."

Goku nodded. "Yeah. It didn't hit for me until that day against Cell. It took longer for me but I guess your fight with Buu sped it up for you."

"Dad, what does that mean though?"

"It means some days you feel like nothing can hurt you and other days you feel like it'd be better if everything did. You know how sometimes you feel like the Dinos outside are calling for you? Or the days you feel like you're part tiger so you run out into the woods and we have to drag you back inside? That's the manic part. Those are delusions."

Goten looked up and leaned towards him. "But we can wish it away, right?"

"We've tried that. Shenron can't do it. You know if there was a way to magically make it go away, that'd be the first thing I'd do for you." Now it was Goku's turn to look down as he mumbled. "I should be the only one dealing with this." He sighed. "Goten the only thing I can say is that I'll be here to help you through this."

Goten looked down again. "Daddy. I'm scared of this."

Goku's heart shattered at that. He almost felt like he would get thrown into a depressive episode at this rate. He did the one thing he knew how. He wrapped his son up in a hug and held him close. "Goten. I promise. I'll be here for you."