Sam and Dean needed to get across the river to escape from the evil that was following them and catching up with them now. It was Meg on behalf of her father Lucifer, they wanted Sam, it was coming close to the time in which he needed to agree to become Satan's vessel and it was not taken lightly, they would do anything to get Sam on side, and Meg knew that Sam was the only one that was even close to perfect for her father; the father of her kind. He was the only one that could withstand the inconceivable amount of demon blood that Lucifer's vessel needed to consume to hold him without spontaneously combusting. Sam knew this and so did most people, it was mentioned enough times for them to know that Sam was the vital part of Lucifer's plan, and without him it would go caput, but they also knew that Sam would agree, even though the idea sounded preposterous now, it would be the only choice he would have when the time came.
Sam was thinking about how he was always running from his destiny and he knew that it always caught up with him, always. He knew he could not escape what had to come to pass, he knew that the Michael must defeat the serpent and that him and his brother were the vessels, there was no changing that and the decisions that they had made throughout their lives got them here. It was written and what it written must happen for the sake of the world and all humanity, Lucifer would otherwise be skirmishing the earth for longer than necessary and would burn through what little 'special' people were left in the world and get them, somehow, to agree to be his vessel. This way he would bring more death and destruction and become unstoppable, but why did it have to be them?. Why?.
Sam had always had faith, he got that from his mother, Mary, and at some points in his life he did doubt that there ever was a God and that the things that were happening to him for no apparent reason were that of someone who was sadistic or simply didn't care. But then he saw heaven, angels, he saw what he had been praying to and it was not what he thought it would be, they were too righteous for their own good and were manipulative in ways that you could not even imagine, they were as bad as demons. Some even worse with their imagination, they could do things that a demon could not eve dream about, with their power and authority, it was hard to believe that they were supposed to be the good against the evil in the world. Many of the hunters did not have faith or lost it the day that they saw their worst nightmares come true, they thought if there was a God he could not let this loose onto a world that was not ready for it, there were not even enough hunters in the world to deal with the Apocalypse, or Armageddon, and out of all of them, the Winchester were chosen to witness that there was and that there is reason for hope, but that was stripped away overtime when their true form came to light, their true plans for the world, and how they could not care for the human life, only saving what their father had created.
Meg was catching up to them now and she stopped, like she knew something was going to happen, she smiled at Sam and Dean and said "You're in trouble now, boys", and she waited whilst Sam and Dean were thinking how on earth they were going to cross the river, it looked to deep to walk through, but too shallow to swim, it sounded impossible and looked out of place, but that was the way things were looking now Lucifer walked the earth. The boy looked at each other and traded soulful looks they knew they would have to try and that was what they did not want to do at this point in time, they did not have the energy to do, but it had to be done, otherwise Lucifer would get to Sam and Dean could not, would not let that happen, but he knew Lucifer would get to Sam one way or another, but that did not mean that they didn't have to fight, all their lives they had fought for what little they had and were not about to give up now. They needed to fight now more that even, because what was coming, what they were in debt for was too much for anyone to bear.
Dean was about to get into the water when Zac showed up, he stood their next to the river in the foliage, under a tree and was walking forward whilst he was talking, he said "Dean, Dean, Dean, when will you ever learn, this is your destiny and you can't escape it, and neither can your brother, so why don't you make this easy on yourself and step up?". Zac seemed as if he was tired of chasing Dean and that he was desperate for Dean to step up before his brother, so that the world could be saved, well, what little was left of it after the devil had, had his fun. "See, that's where you're wrong asshat, I have a choice and mine is to keep on going and not give in to whatever crap you guys want me to, and I'll fight, at least that way i will go down swinging, at least that way i can actually control my mind and not be a puppet to you sons of bitches!", Dean did not like to be upstaged by Zac he knew what Zac could do, but he knew that he had a much better angel on his shoulder. Castiel.
"Joking, always joking with you, well no more jokes!, As it is in heaven, so shall it be on earth" Zac said as he cast on hand over the river, his hand started to become tense and shake as the river did. He was controlling it and whatever he was doing did not look good, the water that was flowing gently in a current before, had now turned savage and violent, it crashed against the land and was beginning to overturn, and as it did Sam and Dean were constantly being splashed by droplets of water that had escaped from the isometric wreck that was before the Winchester boys. Even now their stomachs were overturning as the water did, when the water began to calm down. Zac held out the other hand close to the other and pulled them apart, he then turned around to see Sam and Dean's faces as the water turned into blood. The sea life that lived in the water came floating to the top, and swayed on top, dormant and lifeless. How could Zac kill so easily what his father had created without even a second doubt, the angels were corrupted as much as the humans.
Sam could see that water bubbling and the smell being released from it, the poor fish that lay on top, he could see that heaven was corrupting and that the angels simply did not care anymore, their father was on an extended vacation and left no instructions for them, they could party all they wanted and with the end of the world hanging there, tempting them, they wanted it over and angels seemed to get what they wanted. They were spoilt. At that moment Sam could hear Lucifer's voice in his head, in his thoughts, and he was saying a passage from the bible, he said 'The second angel poured out his bowl into the sea, and it became blood like that of a dead man; and every living thing in the sea died'. Sam knew the bible, he had read it once and him being who he was he knew where it was from it was from Revelation 16:3, Sam thought that the passage went so well with what he was seeing, which made him think that this was biblical, that it was meant to happen. Zac disappeared before they could say anything and Meg just stood there, still watching, waiting for something to happen. Dean could smell the stench as well as Sam could and did not have to be told by Sam what it was, it was not just normal blood of any human or animal. It was that of a demon.
After Sam had scowered the sea another passage came into his head much like the one before, he heard Lucifer say, 'The second angel sounded, and something like a great mountain burning with fire was thrown into the sea; and a third of the sea became blood' and that was also from Revelations 8:8. He wanted to know why he could hear Lucifer's voice inside his head, why he was telling him these things, if it really was Lucifer or his mind playing tricks on him. Whatever it was he wanted it to stop.
"Great, just Peachey, these angels really know where to apply the right pressure to piss us off, big time,...Dean what are we going to do now?, this is the only other way in or out of here that has not been warned off by demons, and now the angels have come to play". Sam knew they wanted to get to him personally and that his whole demon blood phase was not going to be forgotten, he knew that there was a thin line and he crossed it and that now all his enemies had something to tempt him with. "Man, they are bigger dicks than i thought, ... we just have to think about this", Dean needed to come up with something and soon otherwise both their asses would be on the line. "Think about it, what's there to think about?, they have got us locked in, no way we can take that many demons on the bridge and i cant go through this river, so how in hell are we going to get out!", Sam said brushing the hair that was in his face back toward his head, he knew that they would have to do one of them and crossing the river was the one he feared the most.
After a couple of minutes of thinking Meg spoke "Better think fast guys, time is running out!", she was almost please that they had arrived at an impasse, that they were screwed, she found it entertaining. "What are you still doing here bitch, haven't you got bigger fish to fry?,i mean i could just come over there and kill you know, you should be running" Dean said with anger. "You could, but you won't" Meg said tempting Dean. "Is that right?" Dean said as Sam passed him Ruby's knife, Sam was the one who kept hold of it now, it was his now as his lover was dead and she would have wanted him to have it. And deep down he needed it he needed something to be reminded of her, even though she was a royal pain in everyone's ass. It felt wrong to be in Dean's hands, but Sam knew that he needed it to get rid of Meg, the demon that reminded Sam so much of Ruby, and it was hard to be around her knowing what plans her father had for him.
Dean came at Meg with the knife, but she didn't move, she didn't even flinch, but why?. "Dean, leave it" Sam said as he knew that she had something up her sleeve and didn't want Dean to find out the hard way. Dean looked at Sam and gave him a disappointed look, it brought back all the memories of when he was defending Ruby against Dean and Dean did not want his to turn out like that did. "Dean, please" Sam pleaded with Dean, he knew that every moment he spent defending her the closer it came to the time when he would have to conquer his fear and push his body, physically and mentally, to the limit. He knew he would have to cross the demon blood, it was the only quickest and easiest option they had left, but that was just for Dean, Sam preferred the other, at least that way he knew that he would not break that easily.
Dean ignored Sam and went for Meg anyway and it proved Sam right, she was stronger and Dean was being flung around like an unwanted doll, "See Dean, him i can't hurt, but you on the other hand, hurting you is encouraged, and i see no reason for me not to break of a few pieces", Meg enjoyed hurting Dean because his ego was as big as hers and his would get stamped on when a girl kicked his ass, but she also got a kick out of hurting Dean, as it made Sam the stronger man. Dean had gone for Meg and Meg and not even had to move a muscle to fling him halfway across the grass that they were standing on, but he was persistent and did not like the idea of being beaten by a girl, so he got right back up and went for her again, this attempt was no better than the last, he was flung right back to where he was flung before with a swift movement from one arm under his chin; it was like she was playing a game to see if she could fling Dean further than she did the last time, like a sadistic and pain inflicting game of Javelin that was currently in her favour.
Sam wanted to help his brother, he did but he found that he could not move, he was sitting right next to the edge of the river, being tormented with the smell of the blood he craved for so long, and the fact that he had no energy left, most of it was being used as a restraint between him and the blood, and it was crumbling, the wall he had put mentally between him and the blood was caving in, but he found the will to stand. He felt like he was drunk the fumes of the river had been around for some time, enough time for Sam to have inhaled them, he felt a little dizzy, but he, much like his brother was persistent. He got up and walked over to Dean, he put one hand on his shoulder and said "Its not worth it, we need to go, now!". It hurt Sam to say those words knowing what he would have to do and by saying them he was making the time that he had left to prepare himself for his personal challenge, short.
Dean looked at Sam he could see how much he was hurting and how much this could push him to the limit, but it had to be done, he had to get out of the way, it was not just for the sake of him and his brothers destiny, but the whole destruction of the world was at stake. He knew that the river might be one of the many obstacles that Sam would have to pass that would make him feel more intent on saying 'yes' than doing, but he knew his brothers will was strong and he knew Sam would not give up because he knew what was at stake, but the future Dean saw, he did. Sam took one look at the bloody water and sighed, he knew that there was no getting out of doing this, but more than anything he wanted not to have to.
"You know you could make it easy on yourself and just say 'yes' here and now and end this tiresome shenanigan ", Meg said trying to offer Sam an easy way out of what he was about to do, but Sam actually was considering it, deep down, but he was, but he knew what was at stake. He looked once more at the water and then at Meg, he gave her his dewy, sensitive eyes, she could see he was in pain, his eyes were showing it, and Dean sure as hell knew this too. "You are hanging around here like a bad stink, why don't you just do us all a favour and get lost!", Dean said trying to turn his doubt into smart remarks, he needed Meg to go, he knew it would be harder on everyone if she stayed and witnessed what they were about to do. "Huh, Favour, now why would i do a thing like that, i mean this is entertaining, Dean, for once that smug smile on your face is gone", Meg liked to twist everything that Dean said and turn it against him, she liked seeing Dean arrive at an impasse, but what she didn't like was hurting Sam as much as she knew she was, but she also knew that it was necessary , but she was one of the people who could not resist Sam's puppy dog face.
"Oh crap", Dean said as he was about to get into the water, "errrrrrr", he complained as he knew that he was going to have to be chin deep in the stuff. "Quit your wining Dean, your acting like a baby!, and dare i say a very idiotic baby, you can get out of this, just say the word" Meg teased as Dean got into the river that seemed like a sea of blood. "Why don't you just shut up!, i mean, you guys, working with the angles, that it honestly hilarious" Dean said wanting to rip her face off, she was being so annoying, but he knew he would only tear himself into a new hole. "We just realised that we both want the same thing, you two to step up to your roles, and be the men our fathers wanted you to be" Meg said, now she was sitting down of the grass, watching the Winchesters every move. "Well, that's not going to happen so why don't you just go back to hell" Dean said as his feet just about touched the bottom of the river, covering him up to his chin in Demon Blood, the stench of it got worse as he fell deeper and deeper into the river, he could not see how this once was so appealing to Sam, even the texture of it was disgusting, it was like slime, Demon slime. "You know that is a right idea, then i could bring some more of my friends to watch the show, i'm sure they will be delighted to know what you have landed yourself in" Meg seemed to have a comeback for everything and that is why he hated demons, they had such smart mouths and he knew some of the time he could never win. He was the type of guy that always wanted the last word.
It was Sam's turn to get it in and he felt that he wasn't ready for it, but truth was he could not even get close to preparing himself to what he was about to do. "I can't Dean,... please don't make me do this", Sam pleaded with Dean, he did not know how much more of this he could take, and felt that the one mistake he made led the demons to have the upper hand on him. "Sam, come one, you know you have to do this, if there was some other way, that didn't involve getting our asses dragged back to Lucifer and Michael you know i would take it" Dean said trying to convince Sam that he didn't want him to do this as much as he much as he did, but it had to be done. But part of Dean wanted their asses to be taken to Lucifer and Michael, at least that way they had a fighting chance, a choice, they needed their consent, but this way, he knew that he would not be able to save his brother, and that was one of the reasons they always were spreading it for the demons, because he would do anything to save his brother, and give anything not to let him do this, but he needed to have trust in his brother so that they could get through this, and at least let him try. Dean thought of all the things that Sam had done when exposed to the stuff and how he betrayed everyone and everything he loved and believed in, could he really stand there and let that happen again, but it was the world, and all the people that inhabited it, he could not be selfish. He just couldn't.
Sam dangled his legs over the edge of the bank; he did it slowly with his eyes closed because he knew if he had them open he would try and stop himself from doing it, "That's good Sammy, real good, now keep going". Meg got up from the floor and could see Sam had his eyes closed he was psyching himself up., she walked over to him and knelt down by his side, she brushed her hand against his face and he opened his eyes; and deep down he kind of liked it. "You keep your hand off of him, you filthy bitch!" Dean shouted as it brought back memories of Sam and Ruby and if Sam could be manipulated like that once, he could be again, but this time it was not for his soul, it was for the destruction of the world. "Relax, Dean, i'm not going to pull anything, although i know Sammy here likes our kind a little more than he should" Meg said keeping her eyes on Dean. Dean wanted to pull Sam in and get away from her, but he knew he could not rush Sam, he knew if he got out or made any sudden movement it could affect Sam, Sam was too delicate.
Meg looked into Sam's eyes and said "Just take it easy, one step at a time, if you catch it head on, you'll be fine, trust me" , Meg was almost sympathetic towards Sam, like she too did not want him to do this, and Sam did trust her, he knew that he shouldn't but she was helping more than Dean was and her likeness to Ruby was overwhelming. "'One step at a time', seriously, what is this, i don't know what you are trying to do, but its not working, and 'trust me', yeah that's very reassuring... why are you doing this?" Dean said wanting answers and for her to step away from his brother. "I guess i have a soft spot for Sammy here, i mean, from what Ruby has told me he seems like a man after my own heart" Meg said teasing Dean, but telling the truth at the same time, she knew it would get to Dean and that's why she said it. "Ruby is alive, and she wants you, bad" Meg whispered in Sam's ear as Dean persisted that Sam hurry up, but it no doubt touched Sam in a funny place, he was left thinking how she could be alive, when the knife kills the victim and the demon. "Come on Sam" Dean repeated.
Sam lowered himself into the river, slowly, he could feel his feet going under the thick liquid, and as then did he flinched, he still had his eyes closed, but forced them to open as he began to sink into the river of blood. The demon blood was working its way up his body now; it had gone up his jeans and was sticking to his legs, making them heavier. He tried to imagine it was something else, but that never worked, he knew what it was, he was too familiar with it to pretend it was just thick swampy water. He slowly pushed the rest of himself that was still in the air into the river, his body, more than anything was pushing against going deeper into the river of blood, but he kept on pushing until it came closer and closer to his neck. By now it had just gone past his hands and he tried not to move his fingers because then he would know it was on his hands and feel compelled to drink it; he used his hands for most things and when he had gotten out of the water or if something was close to his face he would have to move it, and risk putting the demon blood closer to his mouth. But then he stopped, he could not push himself in the blood any further he suspended his shoulders and head in the air, he could not bear the possibility it getting any closer, he could not let it. "Sam, come on, you are nearly there" Dean said, trying again and again to encourage Sam to do this and tell him that it was okay, but he knew it was far from okay.
"No, i can't, i don't want to, i want to get out, Dean please get me out, i need to get out now" Sam begged his brother, he feared what would happen if he got to close and did not want to find out, even being this close was making it all the harder for him to concentrate, as he was going deeper and deeper into the pit the smell was becoming more intense. "I'm sorry Sam, but you have to do this, there is no getting out, we have to see this through,..." Dean could see Sam was hurting, he could see it in his eyes, but he needed to. "There are only a couple of steps and you can get out, i promise" Dean assured his brother, it was the only way he was going to even try to get to the other side. Sam hung there for a second and it looked like he was thinking, but he was taking deep breaths a little too fast than normal, and he pushed himself in, he was now up to his neck in the blood and he fought against going any further, he kept his neck up high, which was beginning to hurt.
"That's great Sam, now only a couple of steps and we're out of here", Sam grabbed Dean's arm and they took their first steps together, Sam fought against any urge to get closer to it, to drink it, to taste it, and it was going well so far. He went for the second breathing heavily as he went and that was okay, but then he took the third and let out a cry of pain, he clutched his stomach, and his neck dropped, his body was exposed to more of the blood, it climbed up his neck and was on the edge of his chin, he felt like he was paralyzed, "Sam" Dean said concerned for his brother, he looked back at where Meg was supposed to be and she had gone, "Looks like she took the hint that she was not wanted around here and went in her candy ass skirt" Dean said relived that she had gone, but knew she probably had ran and told the boss all about her little pissing contest. "Come on, we are nearly there" Dean persisted once again, but this was becoming too much for Sam to endure, he wanted out, and he did not know how much longer he could take it, but he tried to move, but he couldn't, his body wouldn't. Dean took a step ahead of Sam and thought he was behind him but when Sam spoke it seemed further away. "Dean, i, um, can't move" Sam said scared that he was going to be stuck in this pit of despair longer than he would have wanted, "What do you mean you can't move, Sam if you are playing about, come one, i know this is hard for you, but there is only a couple more steps" Dean was getting tired of Sam's constant whining, he thought it was Sam's fault he was in this mess in the first place, him and Ruby's, he always thought Sam was smarter than that.
"I'm not kidding, Dean i can't move, something's got..." Sam could not finish his sentence as he was being pulled under the water by an invisible force; he was yanked right under so his whole body was exposed to the thick red liquid that he wanted to avoid. "Sam" Dean said as he saw his brother disappear under the red river, "Sam" he called out again, but Sam could not come up to the surface, something was holding him down, something he could not shake, he tried to kick and bend down to free himself, but it was no use, he was not strong enough and the thing sure as hell knew it.
Dean could see the water rippling where Sam had gone under, he could see air bubbles coming up, and the longer he stood there the more came up, at a faster pace, there was no doubt about it he would have to go under, "Damn it!" Dean shouted as he dived under the water after his brother, he could not see anything but red, and it was beginning to stick to his eyes and bubble around his mouth, but he kept it tightly shut, no way was he getting any of that stuff, even close to his tongue, he pursed his lips together and pushed his way through the murky water to find Sam.
By now Sam needed air, most of it had escaped in the form of bubble floating to the surface, but he did not want to open his mouth, because he knew if he did it would be all over, he would not have the restraint to stop himself from swallowing it. The poison that ran through his veins like a fire of an unknown origin, seeping into every single muscle into his body, raising his body temperature and his heart rate, and making his feel more stronger. He liked this part, but it was the after affects that he hated, the constant hunger for it and the feeling of weakness and tiredness, the confusion between what is real and what is a hallucination and the dizziness and blackouts. And then there is the regret of what you have done, and couldn't stop yourself from doing, the guilt that your own family saw you like it, the constant reminders of what you have done, and the trust that faded away until you were on double secret probation and became all alone.
He was beginning to feel light headed, his vision was becoming blurry and he was beginning to let go, he wanted to let go and his body fell limp, he lost the struggle and his only hope was that Dean would find him and soon. His mouth fell open and the blood poured in, and overtime his lungs began to fill up with a burning sensation that he could not feel, all he could see was blackness, and he became paralyzed once again, in a vegetative state.
Dean was pushing his way through the red liquid at such a pace, he began to feel a little dizzy himself, but then he saw something floating further to the top, he could not make it out, but it was worth a look, he pushed himself to the surface of the water as fast as he could; feeling grateful that his long legs had come in useful. When his head began to immerge out from the water he took a deep breath and looked over to see that his brother was laying lifeless, faced down on top of the water, he swam towards him, and lifted his head out of the water, "Sam, Sam, wake up, Sam!", but Sam did not, he could not answer him, he tried but where he was, trapped in his own subconscious, a nightmare world of his own making, and his screams could not be heard only echoed in the pit of nothingness that he was trapped in. Dean dragged Sam to the shore, making sure his head was out of the water, he needed to get him there quick if there was even the slightest chance that he could wake up.
Dean reached the shore and pushed Sam up, he laid him on his back and the pulled himself up, he looked down at his brother and began chest compressions, "Wake up, Sam come on", he continued to shake him, but nothing, "Come on Sam, i feel weird doing this, this is normally your job", but still nothing. Dean stopped and looked down on his brother, he could not be dead, he just couldn't be, "This is all my fault, if i didn't make you go through this in the first place none of this would have happened, i knew how scared you were of having to go through it, but i persisted and now look what i have done". Castiel appeared behind Dean and said "It was not your fault Dean, this was the only way to get through it without Sam accepting his role and Lucifer using him to destroy the planet" Castiel said remorsefully, "What is worth saving?, even you said it once before Cas, we are corrupted and murderous, maybe Lucifer is right to deep fry the planet", Dean said tired of losing family and friends for a world that is not worth saving. Castiel walked closer to Sam and laid his hands on Sam's chest, he closed his eyes for a brief second and then opened them, as he move his hand off of Sam, Sam begun to cough and splutter, demon blood was pouring out of his nose and mouth and Sam pulled himself up and went up on his knees, he took a deep breath and began to sick up the demon blood. It hurt as is pushed itself against his throat, his stomach was turning and he was finding it hard to breathe.
Dean was amazed at what Castiel had done, he thought that his powers were gone ever since he left the other angels, he thought he was becoming human, but maybe his powers were just dormant, inactive until he really needed them, he still had his grace and that was probably what kept him going.
That night Sam dreamt a peculiar dream, it was not a normal dream as it felt more vivid, but what he dreamt felt so implausible it lead his to the decision that it was a type of nightmare, but not the scary, horrifying, naked in class nightmare, this was something different, something that Sam had once wanted, once longed for, a family, to be settled down and live a normal and safe life, opposed to what his life had become, but he knew that he was not that person anymore, that it just wasn't what he wanted now, his priorities had changed. At least that's what he thought. A dream is your subconscious running wild, it is your hopes and dreams, your worst fears and things that you had not discovered yet about yourself put together in something that you can be part of without realising that it was not real, that it was just a dream.
What Sam had seen was a mixture of mostly everything, his hopes and dreams to have a family and a 'normal' and 'safe' life, and his fears of how normality would leave them wide open to anything supernatural that they would have no knowledge about. It was things that Sam thought he never wanted, but once did, and deep down reminded him that he still did. What Sam saw was a life he never had.
It began with him just watching, waiting for something to happen, he saw a nursery mush like his when he was a child, he could see the toys of the shelf and the nursery rhyme clock, the mobile that dangles above his head. He could see in the cot a little baby not much older than he was; around the six month old marker and he saw a woman reaching down to hold her baby. As time passed he began to go closer to the women and child that he was somehow watching for no apparent reason, then he could make her out, it took a while, but he got there in the end. It was Ruby.
He could see Ruby holding a baby close to her, speaking to it softly to ease it back to sleep, rocking it back and forth until it was almost dead to the world, when no sound would wake it or sudden movement. He was shocked at what he saw, it was just ridiculous knowing what Ruby was like, and what she was, it was totally insane and alien to him. She lay the child back into its cot when it had fallen asleep and she made her way out of the nursery door, to the hallway, back to her bedroom. Sam could just see her there, sleeping without a care in the world, silent and peaceful.
But then he heard it, the screams and cries from the baby, it had woken up and the baby monitor on her side cabinet was going crazy, the red lights kept flashing every time it let out a cry. Ruby got up out of the bed, half asleep and walked to the nursery where she was met by a dark shape, it was holding her baby close to it, soothing it back to sleep, it looked a bit like Sam so she said, "Sam, does he need feeding?", "Shhhh" the figure replied, "Okay" she said as she turned away and walked to her bedroom once again. But this time the bed was not empty the left side had Sam in it, half covered by a sheet on his side in his usual place, she turned abruptly and shouted "Sari" and ran to the baby's nursery once again. She had panic in her voice and Sam immediately noticed this, and the man who looked a lot like him laying in the bed awoke and followed, what seemed to be his wife down the hallway to the nursery; he could tell they were married by the silver wedding rings on both of their fingers that captured what little light filled the rooms of the house.
Sam could see it was him and could feel his emotions at that time, he began to breath faster and panic much like Ruby had, he could see Ruby walk into the nursery and shout "Who are you?, leave my baby alone!", before she was pushed by an invisible force against the wall, and began to slowly be lifted up towards the ceiling, whilst the dark shape laid the baby back into its cot. Sam was beginning to feel like he had seen this before, and he had , it was like the death of his mother and his girlfriend, the whole layout with the nursery and child reminded him of the night that the yellow eyed demon; Azazel, came into his nursery and bled into his mouth.
He wanted to do something but he couldn't he could only watch, he had the bitch-warmer seat and knew he was powerless, but then he saw himself come into the room, he turned towards his wife; Ruby, and then to the baby, he cast his eyes on the shape after he had checked that what little family he had were okay. He held out his hand and clenched his fist, it was almost as he was controlling the demon like he did once before with Ruby; soul flexing as so many people had called it. As he did Ruby fell to the floor, she wanted to go and check her baby, but knew not to get in the way, the threat was not gone. He moved his hand that was out in front of his towards the wall and the shape whacked against one, he began to open his hand, slowly, it looked like it was full of tension, and he closed his eyes, he could then see a bright yellow light and then the shape fell to the floor. Demon, Sam found himself mouthing.
The Sam that was in his dreams went over to Ruby and kissed her, he held her and asked her if she was okay, she nodded and that is when he checked on Sari, the baby that was so obvious to Sam that it was theirs, his and Ruby's, it was impossible, but yet it felt so real, Sam felt as if that is where he belonged, that that was the life he was meant to lead and was destined for, not the one that he was leading. He could now see himself and Ruby gathering around the baby's cot, he reached for Ruby's hand and she moved closer towards him; it was almost like an embrace, and he kissed her head, then he spoke, the Sam in his dream said "Our little Sari, is a very special child, she is half demon, half human and is more powerful that either, and those things know that too, she is destined for great things, things beyond her dreams, i just hope she will be kept safe enough until that day comes". With that Ruby stroked the baby's cheek and kissed it on the forehead "Night Love" she whispered in a soft voice as they left the room.
Sam then saw flashes of white light and the picture was fading, it was more like a vision than a dream, the vividness of it and how he saw it, it was all too familiar, and Sam did not want to leave, he could feel the emotions of them both and how much they loved the child, he could see the love they had for each other, and for the baby, and of life itself, he wanted to have that life and not the one he was leading now, but he knew that was too much to ask for, and that that could never happen.
As soon as Sam had awoken he knew that it was once what he wanted, but could not have, he knew that he wanted that life more than anything now, but also knew he couldn't. He opened his eyes an wiped the sweat from his brow, he slowed down his breathing and began to get up, but as he did he could hear a familiar voice, it was Ruby's, "Sam, Sam", was calling, he turned and saw her sitting beside him on the bed. "Did you see it, our future, if you agree to be Lucifer's vessel, did you see what life could be like for us...". She paused, waiting for Saw to say something, to reply, but he remained silent, "I know you did and i can see how much you want it to come to pass", Ruby was talking so softly, almost like she had done in his vision; if that's what it was, almost whispering. "You don't know a damn thing, Ruby!" Sam snapped, he did not know the difference between fantasy or reality anymore and wanted life to back to way it was before any of this had happened. "What's it to be Sam, do you want to give in to your desires and have the life you always dreamed of having, here, now, with me, or do you want to carry on with the life you are leading now and only hope that it all goes away, when you know it won't, Sam we could be together, you saw what we had, you could feel it, all i ask it that you consider it for just a moment". "What are you even doing here, Ruby, i thought you were dead, i thought Dean killed you back at that convent in Maryland, how can you be here?" Sam asked wondering how she could be here when he saw her die with his own eyes. "Sam, i need an answer" Ruby urged, but the one Sam gave was not the one she was hoping for. "No" Sam replied, "Do you really think i am going to see all that and play putty in your hands, well do you?, cos Ruby what we had is in the past, you were the one who wrecked that, not me, and if you didn't things might have been like that, but now they can't, they just can't". "They can be Sam, if we want them to be, they can, and i do, and i know you do to, so why won't you just accept you role, your destiny, please Sam, i want that to become our future and not the one we have now" Ruby pleaded with Sam, she wanted him to accept the role a little too much, almost like she had something riding on him saying 'yes'.
"Ruby, what has got into you, that could never happen if i said yes, Lucifer would ride my body into the ground, you know he would, why are you being like this?" Sam wondered, Ruby was not acting like Ruby, not now Ruby anyway, she was acting more like the one in his dream, which made him feel all the more doubtful as to if this was a dream as well. "No, once Lucifer has used your body for what he wanted to do, he will give you free reign, he promised, freedom to have a future in a world that is more safe, without doubts and worry that the things that were written would happen, they will have already happened and we would not have to worry" Ruby explained. "I knew he was behind this, i just knew it, what kind of deal have you got worked out here Ruby, persuade me to say 'yes' and you get to live?, Is that it?" Sam questioned. "Yes as a matter of fact, that is the deal she has worked out with me, but Sam it is not what you think, i am only showing you what can be if you agree" Lucifer explained as he appeared in the corner of the room, but as not much of a surprise, Sam knew he would show up eventually and Ruby knew that too.
"No, you are only showing me what i want to see, and not what the world looks like after you have dropsied all over it!", Sam said as he began to get angry. "But Sam, you know as well as i do, i do not want to destroy this stunning thing, it is the last perfect handiwork of god, i only have to do what is necessary to achieve an end, it is nothing to what 3 billion of you have already done to this planet,... Sam, i need you to say yes". Lucifer explained, and Sam knew he was right, that the world is already full of scars of what we have done to it, humans, but he was wrong it is nothing compared to what he is going to unleash on it, what he is going to have walk on it and leave spores and wounds that will get infected overtime. "I know what you are thinking Sam, you and every other hunter in the world, you all think i am going to destroy the earth, that i am going to make it into a hell hole, well you are wrong, Sam i am not going to do that, i am only going to do what is necessary", Lucifer told Sam, he wanted him to understand, and thought that seeing as they both were so alike, he might see it in his perspective, but Sam didn't. "You keep dangling that, but what does that even mean?, what is your idea of necessary?, a broken world, one with more pain and suffering, one full of demons and has a likeness to hell?" Sam argued, he was getting sick of their kind, angels and demons not giving them the full story, only telling them what they want to hear. "Your bible gets more wrong than it does right, Sam i hated hell, i was locked up in there for centuries, millenniums, with no way out, it was a prison of my own making, i get that now..., all i am saying is that it is not going to turn into Hell on Earth, i don't want it to be..." Lucifer explained whilst Sam butted in, he was becoming impatient, "Then what?, what are you going to do to the planet?, huh?, how many people are going to die in your little pissing contest?" Sam used the words his brother once used, he thought angels were supposed to be righteous and deliver good, but the ones he had met were all the same, even Lucifer, they all wanted to be the best, they didn't care about humankind, all that they did care about was winning, and getting what they wanted, well Sam was not going to let Lucifer have what he wanted, "The answer is no, and it is staying that was, i am not going to spread it for your kind or the demons, find someone else!".
"Then if that is you answer, kiss Ruby good bye" Lucifer told Sam, "What?" Sam asked confused, he didn't think even Lucifer was powerful enough to bring demons back to life, after they had been killed and were gone for so long. "Just a little thing i learnt from my time down under, I'm surprised you missed it Sam, you know the knife kills the demon, and yet you are still surprised that i had anything to do with it, i mean how did you think she got back?". The tone in Lucifer's voice changed he sounded more sarcastic, like he was fed up of trying to be nice, "Then why did you bring her back in the first place, if you knew i was not going to change my mind?" Sam asked knowing that Lucifer knew more about Sam and knew him better than he knew himself, that Sam knew himself. "Because Ruby had been useful, she had been the one who steered you in the right direction, who got you to taste the blood, and know what it feels like to be in control, to be my vessel, she was the one who taught you to embrace your powers and use them for defence, and i actually thought that you might, deep down, but i did, it was a gamble, but now i see she is more trouble than she is worth and i..." Lucifer was interrupted again by Sam but this time Sam was right to, it showed that he and Lucifer were similar, and their minds thought alike, "You mean you thought it would get to me, taking her away after what i have just seen, well your right it would, but it would not make me change my mind either" Sam finished Lucifer's sentence for him, but didn't need to they both knew what he was doing.
"If that's your answer then...". As Lucifer said that he put up his hand and was about to click his fingers when Sam shouted "Wait, please, just a couple of minutes, i just need to say goodbye, please!" Sam said as he walked over to Ruby, "Who said that i granted this for you?" Lucifer asked, "Well seeing as you said you and me are similar, and i know you, then i know you have a conscience, you are not emotionless like other angels, you are the one that rebelled!" Sam told Lucifer, it was as if Lucifer was stunned, that what Sam had said to him had touched him in a bad place, he stood there silent whilst Sam got closer to Ruby.
"Sam" Ruby said with lust in her eyes, "Ruby" Sam said as he put his hand to her face and stroked her cheek, much like she had done to their baby in his dream, it pained him to say her name after all this time and he knew what she had done to him, how she manipulated him, and played mind games with him, but in this moment he didn't care. Ever since Maryland, he felt guilty that he aided to her killing, he knew it had to happen, but not like that, he wanted to be the one that did it, and the last face she saw was Dean's and not his. Ever since that day he wished things could have been different between them, he wondered how they would be now if she had not betrayed him like that. Sure he knew that she did was wrong, but he wanted to make her last moments better than they were the first time around, he had a second chance and intended to make this time memorable and not filled with guilt.
"Sam, i am sorry for what i have done, i know that it doesn't begin to cover it but..." Ruby apologised as Sam interrupted her, this moment pained him as much as it did her, but he wasn't going to waste it. "Shhh, that is all in the past now, we are going to concentrate on our future, the future we both saw, the love we shared and our baby". As Sam said that he put her hand on her stomach and his on top, he rubbed it and said "Our little Sari is still in here, and she will be forever". He moved her hand up to his heart and she said "If i just put my pride aside for one second then..." Ruby said guilty that they could have had this life if she didn't do what she did, if she just got closer to him, he trusted her and she threw it all back in his face, and she knew that. Sam had interrupted her once again and said "No, you weren't to know, you were just being a demon, remember you said once that manipulative was kinda in the job description, and you were right, you are a demon, and no matter how hard you try you can't change that". They looked into each others eyes, Ruby could see Sam was doing his puppy dog eyes to Lucifer before and no one could resist those, Sam came closer to Ruby and he kissed her, she made it last, this was her last kiss, and seeing what she saw it was hard to bare. She wrapped her arms around his waist and embraced him, she could smell the aftershave that he was wearing on his clothes, it smelt horrible, but she didn't care. The Sam let go and she grabbed his hands, he slowly pulled away and then a tear fell from her eyes, that was the first time Sam had ever seen her cry and it would be the last.
Even Sam had a tear in his eye, he really loved her, and he knew what death felt like, he had experienced it once or twice, he wanted her to stay more than anything, but he knew Lucifer liked to see Sam hurt and in pain, and he brought Ruby back for his purposes and it didn't quite work out in his favour, he thought that things should have a purpose in this world and if they didn't then they had no place in this world, and that threat would be annihilated, much like many of those who had fallen at the hand of Sam and Dean and other hunters, those things had no place in this world they did not belong, they were murderous and most of them scavengers and Ruby was one of the demons that Lucifer had created, his children for all intensive purposes, and she had served her time and her purpose in this world like most things and it was her time to go. But Sam felt differently after what he had seen. Lucifer took one last look at Ruby and at Sam and they both looked at each other when Lucifer clicked his fingers and Sam saw the light go out in her eyes, he had seen it many times before but not this close to home, not with anyone he cared about before. He saw the body she was possessing drop to the floor and he turned to Lucifer, teary eyed and said "You can play around with my life all you want but i will never say 'yes', never!" "Oh i don't know Sam, i think you will" Lucifer said as he then too disappeared.
Sam was left standing there with the rotting corpse of what was Ruby lay there, sure he felt for the poor girl that she was possessing, not only that she would have been powerless in her own subconscious, but because of where she was going, heaven was corrupted and so were the angels. He knelt down to the body and whispered in its ear, "I love you", he then kissed her fore head and then he backed away. Close to him was a glass vase, he grabbed it and smashed it, he felt so alone. He sat down in a corner, watching, waiting, he did not know what for, but he just sat there thinking, he knew she would not find her way back to her body, he new once they were dead and gone, they were gone for good, but part of him still had hope. He brushed his fingers though his hair and wiped away the tears with the sleeve of his shirt, he wanted a way out a way not to feel the pain he always felt every day, he couldn't escape the hell that was his life no matter how hard he tried but he had to cage up his emotions as they clouded his judgement, but they were still there. Ruby was the only one who could see the darker side of him and not go off on one, she helped him tame it and embrace it. Now she was gone.
As time passed Sam was still sitting there, thinking, at least that what he thought he was doing but he could not feel the tears that were trickling down his face again, he had become numb, he also failed to notice the pain and the blood that was oozing out of his hand where he had cut it on a piece of glass when the vase shattered, his hand was close to his shirt and his chest and as the blood poured out it spread onto his shirt and touched his skin, it didn't feel like the blood he liked and craved for, it was not normal. But he was human. Sam carried on sitting there shutting the world away, he felt he had lost the will to change, he did not want to, it was too much effort, and where he was going, what he had to do, all his energy was fighting that.
Then Dean came in, he opened the door carrying a newspaper and a brown bag; inside was a half cafe double vanilla late, for Sam, and a Blueberry muffin, the ones Sam liked, when he was met with a body on the floor which looked a lot like Ruby, and Sam in the corner with red around his eyes, he had clearly been crying and he was covered in blood. "Sam, would you mind tell me what the hell has gone on?" Dean said confused as to how all of this could have happened whilst he was out, he wasn't even gone that long, and everything seemed to happen when he was not around. Sam stayed quiet, he didn't even look up, Dean put the brown bag on the table and walked over to Sam, but he was being careful when he walked halfway over there as he noticed the glass that was on the floor around Sam, he guessed that's how Sam must be bleeding.
It was almost like Sam was comatose, like the body Ruby had possessed. "Gees" Dean said as he checked Sam out, he pulled his shirt to check it the blood was coming from under it, but then he saw Sam's hand and lifted it, "Your going to need stitches" Dean told Sam, but Sam didn't even nod or respond he just sat there, "Alright" Dean said as Sam did not respond, he respected that Sam needed time to recover, and he knew it would have been hard for Sam seeing Ruby again. Dean went and got some cotton wool, a bowl of water, a needle and some thread, he brought some alcohol along but something told him that Sam wouldn't even notice, so he left it on the side. He walked back over to Sam and started to dab the cut with the cotton wool soaked in water, Sam didn't even flinch, neither did he when Dean began to sew up the wound, he was totally quite throughout as well, Dean said things to him now and then but Sam still remained quiet.
It had been a while and Dean hated the silence and the not knowing what had happened, he knew that his silence had not lasted long but he wanted to know, "So are you going to tell me what happened or am i going to have to find out myself?... Sam please, tell me what happened, maybe i can help?". There was still no retort, "Sam, i need to know, was it demons, angels, what?, Sam what has Ruby done know". With that Sam lifted his head at the name of Ruby, "She did not do anything" Sam answered quietly, holding back the tears, "I find that hard to believe" Dean said knowing that Ruby had to have done something she always had. "Lucifer" Sam said .