"Quick, in here!"
Before Red can react, he finds himself being shoved backwards into a broom closet by Lizzie.
Oh. Well, this is new.
Lizzie slams the door and everything goes pitch black. Suddenly there are shelves digging into his back, brooms pressed against his side, and Lizzie plastered to his front.
Yes. Very new indeed.
"Um... Lizzie?" Red whispers tentatively.
"What?" She snaps, annoyed.
"Ah... I'm just wondering what we're doing in here."
"Hiding," she says, as though it were obvious. "I heard someone coming down the hallway behind us."
"Oh. Are you sure? I didn't hear anything."
"Yes, of course I'm sure!" She hisses, now actively trying to keep her voice down. "Why else would I spontaneously shove you into a closet?"
"Well, I, for one, can think of a myriad of reasons, Lizzie." Red begins, so pleased she asked that particular hypothetical question.
"Oh god..." She groans, evidently beginning to regret her quick-witted closet-shoving.
"A first possibility is that you have something you desperately want to tell me without any prying ears, which, if that were true, I think you probably would have told me already, with the intent of minimizing our total time spent in this closet because it really is very cramped in here Lizzie, I don't know if you've noticed."
"Oh my god, do you ever take a breath?" Lizzie mutters, laying her head on the door, likely considering how lightly she could get away with banging it against the wood without alerting their pursuers.
"A second possible explanation could be that you simply want privacy to indulge in some sexual proclivities with me, in which case you'll find me a happy and willing participant."
"What?!" she barks, forgetting to keep her voice down.
"Quiet, Lizzie, we don't want those imaginary enemies to find us in such a compromising position."
"They're not imaginary, I definitely heard someone! And there's nothing compromising about our position!"
"Not yet." Red amends, smoothly.
"Not ever." Liz growls, teeth gritted.
"Have you forgotten where my hands are, Lizzie?" He reminds her courteously, gently squeezing them, one wrapped around her waist for balance and the other squished between a box of sponges and her thigh.
Liz huffs, frustrated.
"Fine, I'll move." She snaps, trying to take a step sideways and narrowly avoiding putting her foot directly into an empty bucket.
"Ugh, fine, I see your point. But this is purely out of necessity. This closet is too small."
"A fact you blatantly ignored when you so unceremoniously pushed me in."
"Are you serious? I didn't have time to conduct an inspection of the premises, okay? For the last time, I was trying to save our necks."
"Alright, Lizzie, if you insist you had nothing sexual in mind when you pushed me in here, I'll believe you."
"Thank you."
There was a moment of silence.
"... But just for future reference, if you want to get me naked, you'll have to convince me it'll be worth my time."
"Oh my god."