His White Heroin
"You know you want me"
it was like being addicted to something he's never even tried. It was like having something dangled just beyond his reach. And no matter how many times he told himself it was dangerous to go after it, he tried it, wanted it, needed it. This was more than a dangerous kind of addiction.
"Why deny me?"
He didn't want them to know. Couldn't let them know. How would they react if they knew what he wanted? But that distorted voice in his ear whispered 'why should they know?' so the problem was left out of his head. But he couldn't. It was dangerous. He would be swallowed up by a trap.
"Come on and try me."
Every night he had lust filled voices whisper in his ear, ghostly hands touch his body. Try as he might, he couldn't expel any of it. More times that not, he'd ended up enjoying the feeling, the way his hollow talked to him.that temptation was killing him. But he couldn't do it.Couldn't because it was wrong.
"Don't defy me."
Those lips looked so pretty and soft, so perfect. He wanted to taste them. His hollow urged him to, told him that he knew he wanted it, had to have it. He denied it, at least to the hollow's face. Couldn't allow him to know what he was thinking. He denied it, he had to. He would crumble if he didn't.He couldn't need it. He had to let it go. But he wanted to taste...
"Wait till I touch you."
That thought killed him. His hollow touching him. It reminded him of all the things he dreamt of. He was addicted to it when he'd never even tried it. It was so alluring. He was drawn to it. But so very very very wrong. So he had to block out that voice that told him of everything it could do to him, all those things he wanted. Touching him, making him feel good. He wanted it. Wrong, and therefore, deniable.
"See how I fuck you."
He shivered. Stupid, vulgar hollow, thinking he could break him. There was not a crack in his mask he would allow to show. But that temptation was killing him. He wanted it, he needed it, he depended on it. Those feelings. No matter how hard he tried to will them away, they were still there, against his better judgement.
"You know you want me."
If he was lying to himself, then that was ok. He would keep on lying because this was wrong, and he couldn't want it. He shouldn't, otherwise, what kind of sick freak would he be? They would think he was weird. Even though his hollow assured him that he shouldn't think of them. It didn't matter. He couldn't want it. Shouldn't be addicted to it. Like heroin or cocaine, he needed it no matter what, in any form he could get it in.His shameful little drug...
"Come on and try me."
It couldn't hurt too much. To give it one little shot.
OWARI
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