Through Green Eyes
by Jargonelle
Summary: 'Love is always a mystery to those of us on the outside.' Raven x Lucius.
A/N: My inspiration for writing anything seems to have dried up a bit recently. This is just trying to kick-start my brain back into gear. It's a bit... fuzzy though.
Additional A/N: There is only one part of this story (at present). It was uploaded when the ff.net server was down and when I re-uploaded it, it came up as having two chapters, rather than one.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem.
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Love is always a mystery to those of us on the outside.
Not why you love him, Raven, no, we all know why you love him. He is kind and he is generous and he stayed by you when everyone else turned away. He is beautiful, both his body and soul, and his devotion recognises no limits. We all understand why you love him.
Yet why does he love you?
Why did he follow you when you planned murder and vicious revenge, knowing that you would not listen to a single word he said? Why does he let himself be ignored, time and again, only to appear instantly by your side as soon as you call? Why does he not protest when you steer him away from group conversations, forcing him to sit in silence by your side?
Why does he plan to break his vows for you of all people?
Did you even know he would? Did you even realise what you are expecting of him?
Maybe you do. Maybe underneath your bold exterior, you are as scared and uncertain as the rest of us and maybe only when he is in your arms do you feel safe enough to admit your true feelings. Maybe then he feels important, feels wanted and maybe that is why he loves you.
Maybe that is enough for him.
When you are together, all he sees is you, do you realise that? That he stares at you and hastens to note every subtle shift in your expression? And in the meantime, you are feverishly scanning the crowds, looking everywhere but at him. Sometimes it seems you do not think he can fend for himself, sometimes it seems you do not want him to.
You are a strong man, Raven, and you intimidate members of this camp. When you firmly grip his arm or pull him away from your imaginary danger, he winces, now and again, and his face pales and he bites his lip to not cry out in pain. Had you noticed? I have and I wonder, one day, will you strike at him to relieve your frustration? I hope not. I pray not.
I fear though, that if it comes to that, he will let you, will do anything it takes to heal your pain. Because that is the kind of person he is and it makes him wonderful, makes him special.
No wonder you want to keep him safe.
Perhaps that is why, even if I knew you better, I could never love you. I cannot love someone who would fain to take away my freedom and speak on my behalf; I wish to be free. Not that you would want my love, you have him.
You always know when he feels faint. Always. You seem to be so attuned to the ebb and flow of his life force that I feel so angry when you occasionally turn a blind-eye to his emotions. I never know what to expect when I watch you, you react remarkably unpredictably when he is upset.
Tell me, is the world you hate, for hurting him so, or yourself, for being powerless and only being able to stand back and watch it happen? It is all right to fear, you would not be human if you did not, but he is stronger than most of us remember. He is stronger than even you remember.
It is a peaceful silence that passes between us Raven, even though we are still stooped in battle, swords drawn, back to back.
I will never speak these words aloud. Not unless you hurt him. I would not appreciate such criticisms being made of my relationship, if I had one, and I feel that you would not like it either.
Am I jealous?
A bit. You know that your feelings for him and his for you go beyond the bonds of allegiance and loyal service. Sometimes my heart is filled with hope that there is something there for me, a love that is true and pure, but mostly all I see is duty and responsibility reflected and amplified back at me. I do not know if I can settle for just that.
Even though you cannot hear my thoughts, I wish you well, you and him.
We shall stand together for this battle Raven, and not a word will be spoken between us, which is as it should be, for I have thought far too long where it is not my place to think and you speak little to anyone but him and to your sister.
Maybe that is why he loves you, because you are the family he does not have.
Or maybe there is no reason and maybe he just loves you... unconditionally, just because of who you are.
...
...
Is it too selfish to want that for myself?
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THE END
-----
by Jargonelle
Summary: 'Love is always a mystery to those of us on the outside.' Raven x Lucius.
A/N: My inspiration for writing anything seems to have dried up a bit recently. This is just trying to kick-start my brain back into gear. It's a bit... fuzzy though.
Additional A/N: There is only one part of this story (at present). It was uploaded when the ff.net server was down and when I re-uploaded it, it came up as having two chapters, rather than one.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem.
-----
Love is always a mystery to those of us on the outside.
Not why you love him, Raven, no, we all know why you love him. He is kind and he is generous and he stayed by you when everyone else turned away. He is beautiful, both his body and soul, and his devotion recognises no limits. We all understand why you love him.
Yet why does he love you?
Why did he follow you when you planned murder and vicious revenge, knowing that you would not listen to a single word he said? Why does he let himself be ignored, time and again, only to appear instantly by your side as soon as you call? Why does he not protest when you steer him away from group conversations, forcing him to sit in silence by your side?
Why does he plan to break his vows for you of all people?
Did you even know he would? Did you even realise what you are expecting of him?
Maybe you do. Maybe underneath your bold exterior, you are as scared and uncertain as the rest of us and maybe only when he is in your arms do you feel safe enough to admit your true feelings. Maybe then he feels important, feels wanted and maybe that is why he loves you.
Maybe that is enough for him.
When you are together, all he sees is you, do you realise that? That he stares at you and hastens to note every subtle shift in your expression? And in the meantime, you are feverishly scanning the crowds, looking everywhere but at him. Sometimes it seems you do not think he can fend for himself, sometimes it seems you do not want him to.
You are a strong man, Raven, and you intimidate members of this camp. When you firmly grip his arm or pull him away from your imaginary danger, he winces, now and again, and his face pales and he bites his lip to not cry out in pain. Had you noticed? I have and I wonder, one day, will you strike at him to relieve your frustration? I hope not. I pray not.
I fear though, that if it comes to that, he will let you, will do anything it takes to heal your pain. Because that is the kind of person he is and it makes him wonderful, makes him special.
No wonder you want to keep him safe.
Perhaps that is why, even if I knew you better, I could never love you. I cannot love someone who would fain to take away my freedom and speak on my behalf; I wish to be free. Not that you would want my love, you have him.
You always know when he feels faint. Always. You seem to be so attuned to the ebb and flow of his life force that I feel so angry when you occasionally turn a blind-eye to his emotions. I never know what to expect when I watch you, you react remarkably unpredictably when he is upset.
Tell me, is the world you hate, for hurting him so, or yourself, for being powerless and only being able to stand back and watch it happen? It is all right to fear, you would not be human if you did not, but he is stronger than most of us remember. He is stronger than even you remember.
It is a peaceful silence that passes between us Raven, even though we are still stooped in battle, swords drawn, back to back.
I will never speak these words aloud. Not unless you hurt him. I would not appreciate such criticisms being made of my relationship, if I had one, and I feel that you would not like it either.
Am I jealous?
A bit. You know that your feelings for him and his for you go beyond the bonds of allegiance and loyal service. Sometimes my heart is filled with hope that there is something there for me, a love that is true and pure, but mostly all I see is duty and responsibility reflected and amplified back at me. I do not know if I can settle for just that.
Even though you cannot hear my thoughts, I wish you well, you and him.
We shall stand together for this battle Raven, and not a word will be spoken between us, which is as it should be, for I have thought far too long where it is not my place to think and you speak little to anyone but him and to your sister.
Maybe that is why he loves you, because you are the family he does not have.
Or maybe there is no reason and maybe he just loves you... unconditionally, just because of who you are.
...
...
Is it too selfish to want that for myself?
-----
THE END
-----