Sonic and the Curse of Chaos
Today Sonic and his two friend Knuckles and Tails were examining an ancient stone statue. "This is weird and smells bad!" said Sonic. He flipped a coin like he was some pretty hot stuff and then ate a chili dog like a true pro.
"He scarfed it…" noted Knuckles dramatically with eyes of pure beauty and purple.
"I found the secret!" said Tails with his two of them.
"Great job, buddy! Let's hurry up so I can watch the Buffy the Vampire Marathon!" said Sonic wisely.
"I cannot believe how you did that so fast!" said Knuckles. "You were faster than Sonic!"
"I'LL EAT YOUR NOSE!" threatened Sonic. He did not care for it when people said others were faster than him like Superman and the Flash. "I don't like you anymore guys…" Sonic then walked away in teenage angst. "Monkey see… Monkey do…"
"Well, dumps!" said Tails with a saddened expression that made him feel lonely. "Knuckles, take my hand and steal all my fingers. Knuckles obeyed and ran away with the young fox's cool fingers. These fingers knew how to play the piano like a boss. He placed the fingers on his own hands. Because he wore mittens, Knuckles now had his own fingers to use. He ran back to Tails and said he admired his new fingers.
"I hate your fingers," said Tails jerkily. "They look stupid and make me want to eat pizza crusts."
Knuckles felt kind of offended and then kicked Tails with his coolest foot (knuckles had twelve). "Why did you say that?"
"Because I want your soul!" Tails then posed like a genius and held his fingerless fists up to the heavens. "I call upon the Wrath of Khan!"
"KHAAAAAAAAANNNN!" cried Knuckles with a crowbar used for taking down zombies.
Tails summoned a ghostly figure from a vortex in the sky and it looked like Phil Mickelson. "Let's play golf with this Knucklehead!" said Tails maniacally. "I'll beat you!"
"Great Scott!" Knuckles quickly dodged the swing from Phil's deadly club and then used his amazing Knuckles powers to shoot memes at foe. Phil ate the memes up and then shot them out of his eyes like laser vision, but instead it was meme vision. "Don't you forget about me!" Knuckles then yawned and this accidentally broke Mr. Tanaka's windshield.
"My… my…" said Tails with deadly evil. "It looks like you cannot win!" He then cackled like a vicious weirdo and took a bite of a Dorito's Loco Taco. "Kangaroo! That is you!"
"I won't let you get away with this, Tails!" Knuckles then fired his arms over to punch Tails in the face because he was Switch DLC.
"MY! MY!" Tails was in very much pain and he lost control of Phil Mickelson who then disappeared into thin air. "Give me liberty!"
"Tails! No more major conflict!" Knuckles pulled a dragonfly out of his pocket and flew on it like a skateboard. "See ya later, boy!"
The image of Knuckles riding on a two cm dragonfly perplexed Tails beyond conception. Tails felt his toes give out and they exploded off of his feet, leaving his shoes looking ugly. Tails was now utterly done for.
"I told you to do your homework!" said Tails's vision of a utopian society.
"I have failed you…" said Tails. "But I will become the Avatar."
"Good…" said Tails's Uncle Iroh. "Now have some tea!"
Tails sat down in front of Iroh and sipped the tea. The two were then transported to another dimension using the heart of true power.
"That can't be good… Tails will fulfill his destiny and make the world wretched and unlovely," mused Knuckles loudly for all to hear.
Sonic walked up to Knuckles with a fishing pole and platform wading boots. "AYE-CHIHUAHUA!" said Sonic with a twitchy nose and seven gorillas worth of memes in his fishing net. "You wanna tell me what's goin' on, Knux?"
"Chaos has abounded, Sonic the Hedgehog…" Knuckles sounded very ghastly when he said this, like a horse that couldn't run in the Kentucky derby and had to go to another state for competition.
"Dude, I know…" Sonic set down an egg and cheese sandwich that he got from his local restaurant that he owned. He pulled out a pizza cutter and divided the sandwich into thirds. "Good…" he said as he took several bites of the first slice. He then eyed a Chaos Emerald off in the distance. "Dokutaa Egguman has not found that one yet. Knuckles, come and get it with me."
"I shall follow you wherever you did go, son." Knuckles sat up with his feet on properly and then broke a toothpick to enforce his sass and frass. "Sonic, do you believe in rump judgment."
"Yes."
"Well, stop because it is stupid and unwanted."
"Okay. I will."
"Great. I will now get my Gamecube so we can find the fields with Cranberry juice."
"Bradley…" said a weakened Chao who was in the corner being hurt. "Sonic…"
"Oh snapperoony-doony!" said Sonic with a skill saw in hand to save lives. "I'm such a fool for you! You got me rapped around your finger! Do you have to let it linger?"
"Do you have to?"
"Do you have to let it linger?"
"I took Tails's fingers…" said Knuckles.
"So that's it…" said the Chao.
"Do you know who we are and why in the lands of glory that Tails has become deadly?" said Sonic with attitude and boss.
"You and Knuckles are actually the two Bradleys of Chaos and you need to stop Tails because he is actually Alucard from Hotel Castlevania.
"Big and Froggy work from home!" said Knuckles. "That means they are the two Kevins that use magic for fishing!"
"My eyes adore chili dogs, but not Big. After I defeat Tails, I will then defeat Big because he seems to be working for evil!"
"Good observation!" said the Chao proudly. It then breathed its last and Sonic cried. Knuckles didn't cry though because he's a big, strong man.
That night, Sonic buried the handsome Chao under his garage and then said his favorite thing was pickles. He held up a pickle jar and then through it on the ground. A time portal appeared. He and Knuckles jumped in and then sang about bagels as they were transported to a whole new world. They saw Aladdin and Princess Jasmine and through pickles at them because pickles are Grass types which is super effective against Flying Carpet type!
"Golly!" said Aladdin. "Thank you for saving me!"
"No prob, bub!" said Sonic with high spirits from his left side and even more angst from his right side.
"Uh-oh.." said Knuckles to himself. "Sonic is losing control of his Jedi balance and is going to become two-faced like dat swaggy batman villain!" Knuckles was worried to himself and wanted to make sure Sonic was feeling better tomorrow.
"We're the Bradleys, Knuckles. We will get Tails and restore worlds!"
"I can't believe our best friend was evil this whole time…"
"I can't either, but we still gotta do what we gotta do. And we gotta do it with hearts."
"It's the year of Luigi after all!"
"And I've got Luigi wrapped around my finger!" Sonic raised his fingers and showed Knuckles all the tiny Luigi clones climbing around them like zombie lemurs because Luigi is a weird and freak.
"Sonic, do we will still own that island?" said Knuckles with question mark anticipation.
Sonic never answered because his angst level was rising higher each new day. Sonic put on a fresh pair of socks and smacked Knuckles with the old pair. Sonic laughed because he was getting kind of jerky now like soda. And soda makes bubbles, and it is cool, because how do they do it. That was Sonic's favorite reference from his days as an angsty high schooler. But he believed in wiser hearts now like those belonging to owls and sages from Zelda.
Sonic and Knuckles finally landed at their destination and were satisfied with the travel. Sonic crossed his arms to assert strong thinking. Knuckles sat down with wise thinking. Together they had realy good Bradley prowess.
"There is Tails!" said Sonic telepathically, but not with his mind.
"I can see it," said Knuckles with fists.
Tails stood up from his evil throne and punched the air with Sonic Booms (like Guile from SF, not the bad game he had with Sonic). "It is dead time!" said Tails shadowy.
"This is bad!" said Knuckles already in a loser feeling.
"I know… but we can't give it up, Knux!" said Sonic. He ran up and punched Tails and Tails felt strong Bradley powers and this was enough to destroy his evil.
"HA! HA! Ha-ha!" laughed Tails with his power. "Although you defeated me, that was all part of my diabolical plan. Now my evil spirit inside will infect you and speed up your process."
"No!" Sonic cried as he felt the evil take over him. It felt like dark Chaos and that was counteractive. "I'm being turned evil! Knuckles, save me!"
Knuckles gave Sonic a punch, but the evil powers collided with the Bradley powers and negated it totally. The force was so strong in Sonic that Knuckles had his fist back in his fist. "Bah! It's no use!"
Sonic wailed in agony as he felt the dark power descend upon him completely. "My aura is leaving me…" Sonic soon deteriorated into complete evil and he looked like a dark lord with a cape made of chaos energy. "Time for all death…"
"Oh no," said Knuckles. He couldn't believe his eyes. Sonic had gone from Bradley to Bad-ley!
To be continued?
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Author's note: I just wanted to thank my friend William Mays for his idea to make this fic a bit darker than I usually do. I was a bit hesitant to make Tails the bad guy at first, but I have plans to make it understandable in the future.