Failure
Rodney sat looking at the photo of his family that was on his shelf.
He did not know why he had brought it with him to Atlantis all it did was remind him how much of a failure he was to his family.
In fact, it just reminded him how much of a failure he was over all in life.
He thoughts drifted back to when the photo taken.
It was taken a week later than his parents had planed because there son had messed things up again.
The day it was supposed to be taken, he discovered that he was allergic to bees.
He was in the garden trying to stay out of his parent's way when he was stung.
He had course ended up in the hospital much to his parent's displeasure.
He had never been so scared in his life he remembered wishing that his Mother or Father would just hug him and make everything better.
Instead, they just sat there in silence looking more and more pissed off as the time ticked by.
Rodney signed has he sat back on his bed letting his thoughts continue.
He could still see the look of disgust on his father's face when he bust in to tears begging his parents not to leave him alone.
And the words that his mother and father said to him still rang thought Rodney's head.
He father walked up to the bed and looked at him coldly
'Stop your sniffling and be a man once in your life.
We cannot baby you every time something happens to you. I have to work and your mother has to look after your sister.
Then they both turned and walked out of the room leaving a frighten little boy trying not to cry lying on his bed.
He could hear them started arguing has they walked down the corridor both blame each other for having a weakling for a son.
Now all theses years later he could not be angry with them for the way they had treated him.
They where right he had all way and all way would mess things up.
Here on Atlantis he had come to see what a waste of space he was.
Every time they went thought the gate he was all ways lagging behind there others.
They all ways had to slow down so they could keep up and he knew how he got on everybody nerves every time he panic no matter how hard he tried to keep him self calm. And now he could see that he could get one of them killed because he was not good enough to be on the major's team.
He also knew people only talked to him when they wanted something and not has a friend to them he was a annoying little prick.
Not that he blamed them.
Because that was another thing, he was a failure at people he just did not know how to act around them.
Every time someone tried to get close, he would push them away and in the end, they all ways gave up and joined the long list of people who could not stand him.
Rodney brushed away a tear that fell down his cheek and closed his eyes wishing that he was back alone in is lab in Russia because there his failures did not matter so much.
There he never nearly got his team killed because of his big mouth there he did not have to wake up everyday knowing that people where stuck and some times dying because he could not come up with a way to get them home.
There more he thought about it the more he realized what he had to do
For once in his life, he was going to make sure people did not have to suffer because of him.
He picked the letter off the table and put it in to an envelope then walked out of his quarters and towards Elizabeth office.