I have no idea what i am doing with my life.

Probably one shot btw.

Nothing Lasts Forever

Three and half months passed since she found out that the person she loved with all her being, turned out to be one of those people Spencer loathed more than anything. Two months passed since he tricked her into meeting him at a small abandoned book store just out of Rosewood, and she decided to be with him, even if it makes her pathetic, and her trust for him isn't the strongest. She needs him.

They don't see each other much. Twice a week at the most, their schedules don't correlate they don't always have alibis. It's a risky thing their doing, and they know that. Spencer's always known being with Toby Cavanaugh was risky, it's always a risk that he'll get hurt; back when she didn't know he was part of the '-A team', and even now, she feels the need to protect them from the same people. Both know the consequences of '-A's evil wrath. Their relationship was always challenging, but maybe in a twisted way, that's one of the reasons she loves being with him. It was also a risk for herself, not only '-A' but, her friends too. There suspicion rises with each day, and Spencer finds her self running out of alibis and lies. If they knew she was with Toby, she would never hear the end of it. Sure, he was dangerous, deadly even, but she was already poisoned by him, he was already in her system; there was no getting out.

Things were different now, but of course they had to be. Spencer, hadn't forgiven him fully, and that was expected. He betrayed her trust completely, and made her to be a fool. But, her tears are slowly stopping, and the warmness she feels with him, continues to ignite. She was slightly more guarded around him, and he was slightly more gentle with her; which seemed downright impossible, considered how gentle he already was.

He told her what he knew; Paige wasn't a threat, Mona was still in charge, but recruited some one she had met in between the day he left to find doctor Sullivan, and a few weeks before the texts started up again. The new recruit was relentless, and strong, and even Mona who started it all, was taking orders from her. Toby wasn't sure of the person's identity, but due to Mona's using of pronouns, he knew it was a girl or woman. He told her that Lucas had helped them out, but only on occasion. He told her about the N.A.T club, and how they are slowly getting rid of them. He told her that Wren had been involved for awhile too, this he only found out a few months ago.

He told her the reason he joined; Mona could get him out of the predicament of being charged with Alison's murder.

He didn't tell Spencer of the horrible things he did, she didn't want to know. For once in her life she didn't want to. But, she knew, through the only thing left sincere about him; his eyes, that he really was sorry.

He told her of how when he tried to get out, he was nearly killed. And after the second attempt, Mona threatened with Spencer's life instead, and after one 'Are you alright?' she attempted to follow up on that promise.

He didn't have to tell her how sick this all was, she already knew that.

After he told her all these things, she was left in a dizzy, more unanswered questions. Like what Wren was even doing in the '-A team' or who this new recruit was.

That was when they kissed, which triggered much more connection, than just on the lips. She had so many feelings for him, sorrow, hate, pity, and love. When she was with him, it's like she finally let those feelings release.

Now, here they were, almost a month and half into their secret affair, and the suspicions of others growing. "Cold?" He asked her, noticing her shivering, out of the corner of his eye. It was dark, and damp. It was late February, and freezingwas falling down hard. Even though it was dark, he could see her deep mocha eyes, which he fell for so hardly.

She made a whimper, and kind of nodded her head. So, he took off his hoodie-his black hoodie-and wrapped it around her. She nuzzled her head into his neck, and let her eyes close gently. The rain was soothing, but being wrapped into his arms, was even more soothing.

"You're freezing," He pointed out, as their fingers toyed with each others.

"I'm okay," She said softly.

"Spencer, are you sure? Maybe, you should go home. It's getting late anyways,"

"No," She said sternly, looking up into his big blue eyes. "I want to be here," She said.

"Me too." She said sweetly.

"Do you think any of this will ever be normal," She said after a while, tracing the patterns on his hands. "I mean like, obviously not, but do you think it will ever be okay?"

"I think, eventually." He said with the little hope he has left.

"And if it doesn't? What if this is just… the beginning of the endless torture, called my life?" She asked.

This hurts. He knows he is one of the reasons, for Spencer's troubles. "It won't." he promised her, "You'll be okay, because you're strong, and you can get through this."

"What if I can't?" She asked him, looking up at him again.

"Don't think like that." He told her. "You can."

The sweet moment, is cut short, by a sound coming from the front of the abandoned shop. The two get goosebumps, and their eyes widen with worries. "Who is that?" Spencer asked in a small whisper.

"I don't…" His voice trails into the silence.

"SPENCER?" They hear someone yell, that can only be recognizable as an Aria Montgomery, and then another "SPENCER ARE YOU OKAY? WHERE ARE YOU?" by Emily.

She looks at Toby, with desperation. "Do you… how could they?" She whispers softly.

"Come on," He steps up from the cold ground, and offers her a hand. She hesitantly took it, and went towards the very back of the book store, behind an old counter.

"Do you think Mona or someone, knows?" She asked after a pause. "How else could they know?" She asked.

He looked at her, "I don't know," He croaked. "Possibly,"

"SPENCER?"

"SPENCER WE GOT A TEXT FROM -A, ARE YOU HERE?"

"That answers our question," Spencer said silently.

He nods stiffly. Both of them are thinking the same thing: Mona knows.

"So is this it?" Spencer asks weekly, hearing the foot steps getting louder. "I should go out there, so they'll know I'm okay." She says.

"Yeah," He agrees in a breath.

They look at each other sadly, both were preparing themselves for this to fall apart for weeks now. "Toby, if Mona knows…what's going to happen to you?" She asks timidly, her mocha eyes filling with tears.

"SPENCER?"

"I don't know," he says numbly, biting his lip. He sees the tears coming from her eyes, and he caresses her face, and wipes away the tears with his thumbs. "Don't cry, Spencer, please, don't." He tells her.

"This is going to be the end for you." She whispers, her voice shaking.

"I don't know," He says again, with a hard swallow.

"Toby, please don't stay here, leave. Please just get as far away from Mona, and Rosewood, as possible." Spencer pleads. No matter what hapens, she always wants him to stay safe. She and Toby, both, know how vengeful and horrid, Mona is when you disobey her. "Just leave, please." She begs.

"No, I can't leave you. I'm not, I have before, and I won't." He tells her, his own eyes filling with tears. "I've done so much to you, and I'm not going to just leave you here to get hurt. What happens if Mona tries to kill you?" He asks.

The foot steps of her friends are getting closer.

She swallows, "No," She shakes her head. "Please, just, go. If you ever loved me, then you'll leave. Don't come back, promise me?" She begs.

"Spencer, I can't." He breaks out. How is supposed to just leave her?

"Please, Toby!" She says cupping his face. "Just please," She whispers before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "Just do this for me, you have to." She tells him.

"Spencer," He breaths brokenly.

"I'm going to miss you," She tells him, before stepping up, and going to meet her friends. "I love you, I always will."

He watched her walk away, and he heard the friends reunite, and he sat behind that counter for quite some time. He could never leave Spencer, but it's what she wanted, and he owed her that much.

So he left, because he most certainly did love her.