A/N: I came upon this idea from a picture that I found a long time ago. & Yeah, I know, I bet your like, 'how the hell can she find the time to write a story when she has two other stories to UPDATE.' well excuse me for being on writer's block. &+ Also, first one-shot, so please no flames. I'm not very good at this.
Disclaimer: Rumiko seriously needs to learn how to take a bribe or two.
(ONE-SHOT)
CondemnedPleasureCondemnedPleasureCondemnedPleasure
Kagome stood before the well as a deep shade of indescribable red blush crept onto her face as she held a tiny square packet in her tote bag. Her friends had thought it would be amusing to give her a packet of condoms as a present for her 16th birthday, and so they did. 'I swear, what kind of friends would give such an obscene birthday present.
(Flashback)
Kagome casually walked through the halls of her high school, Shikon High, her destination being the girl's restroom. She simply minded her business, until she heard a stampede of certain screeching girls.
"Happy Sweet Sixteenth Birthday Kaggie!" Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi yelled as they glomped Kagome as she fell down with an -oomph-.
With a stern look on her face, Kagome implied for her friends to remove themselves from her. Once they got up, Kagome brushed herself off and laughed. "I swear, you guys scare me sometimes." Her friend laughed along with her and then an immediately stopped and looked at Kagome with serious stares. Kagome began to feel nervous and nervously giggled, backing away. Eri and Yuka walked over to Kagome and took hold of her arms, pinning her against the wall as Ayumi dug in her bag, in search of something. As soon she found what she was looking for, she met Kagome with her serious stare and slowly walked over to her.
Kagome gulped.
Ayumi stood in front of Kagome and signaled for Eri to let go of her right arm. Eri complied and let go. As soon as her arm was free, it was once again taken hold of by Ayumi. Ayumi held something in the palm of her hand and she handed it to Kagome in the process of taking hold of her hand. Once the process was completed, Kagome was let go and she cautiously peeked at her palm and stood there, with her mouth agape.
"OMG YOU GUYS! YOU GAVE ME CONDOMS! WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE GIVE CONDOMS FOR A BIRTHDAY PRESENT!" Kagome screamed as she chased her friends down the hall, not noticing the disturbance she had caused. Once she realized that students and teachers were staring at her oddly through the door, she ran.
(End of Flashback)
'Oh yeah, those kind of friends' Kagome thought as she jumped through the well and traveled to the feudal era. She climbed out of the well and gracefully landed on the grass. Pushing her hair behind her ear, she started for the campsite at which Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and Shippo stayed.
On her way she tripped and the box of condoms slipped, and unfortunately, landed next to Inuyasha's foot. He picked up the strange object and sniffed it quite a couple times, staring at it in marvel. Kagome leaped for it but Inuyasha dodged her.
(A While Ago)
"What's taking that wench so long?" Inuyasha irritably said as he sat on the fragile branches of a tree. He twitched in annoyment as he heard an intolerable monk poke fun at him.
"Oh my, Inuyasha, if you miss her that much then go and retrieve her to profess your undying love!" Miroku laughed as he gradually shifted his 'cursed' hand toward the lovable and absolutely impeccable buttocks of his beloved, Sango. That earning himself a darn good slap on the left cheek of his face.
Inuyasha, fed up with his idiotic companions, removed himself from the tree and headed towards the well. On his way, unexpectedly, he saw Kagome. She had fell down and to his dismay, he was unable to prevent her fall. Next thing he knew, a peculiar object appeared before his foot. He picked it up and stared at it in a questioning look. He saw that Kagome had leapt for the object and he dodged it.
(Present)
"What is this?" Inuyasha bluntly asked tearing open the box and spilling its' contents. As the condoms landed on the ground, Kagome attempted to grab each one, but with Inuyasha being a hanyou and all, the advantage was his.
Kagome stared in disbelief and embarrassment as Inuyasha expertly, and sexily, yes sexily, tore open a condom, releasing a rubbery, lube-covered object.
The condom dropped to the ground and Inuyasha picked it up. He examined and sniffed it, sneering once the disgusting aroma reached his nose. "What is this thing? Answer me Kagome." He sternly said as he shook the condom in front of Kagome's flustered face.
"It's nothing Inuyasha, just give those back to me and we can carry on back to the campsite," Kagome whined, desperately reaching for her 'prank present.'
Inuyasha refused to return the condoms and examined them even more closely. He put it on his head like a hat as he twitched his ears to feel if there was any affect. None. He put it on his hand as a glove. He applied it on his foot like a sock.
Kagome watched in amusement and burst out in laughter as Inuyasha dawdled with the condom.
"So...what is it?" Inuyasha returned to the question as he shook the stretched out rubber. The blush that had left Kagome's face, returned.
All attempts of getting back the condom failed. "If you don't tell me what this is, I'll go ask your mother," Inuyasha stated.
Kagome burned. She shuffled toward Inuyasha and took a deep breath and whispered into his dog-ears, "it's a condom."
Inuyasha still remained with a confused look, "so? What's a condom?"
She was practically dying of embarrassment. She sighed, "you put it on your -ahem- to prevent from impregnating the woman."
He gestured for her to continue.
Kagome's inside's turned. She gathered all the courage she contained and squeaked out, "it's for safe sex."
Inuyasha turned a slight shade of undistinguishable pink as he heard the erotic explanation spew from Kagome's mouth.
Believing that the worst was over, she picked up her things and started for camp until she felt a slight tug on her wrists. She turned around and found herself staring at a lust-filled Inuyasha that had a certain glint of desire in his eyes. She gulped down a lump in her throat as she followed his eyes. He eyed her up and down and licked his lips, noticing her body yearning for his. Her mouth grew dry as her heart raced.
He pressed his body against hers and breathed into her ear, slightly nipping. "soo...wanna see how effective this condom can be?"
She didn't need to respond to tell him how she felt, he knew. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carefully laid her down on the ground, whilst giving her soft, tender kisses.
Miroku watched intently as Sango tried to suppress her embarrassment. The passion...and the noises that emitted was enough to give her a nosebleed.
"Should we really be doing this?" she whispered.
She was responded with a 'shhh.'
She felt so shameful, watching Kagome and Inuyasha as they engaged in sexual intercourse. Her thoughts were interrupted with a pesty monk asking her if she wanted to grab a condom and test the effective-ness of it as Inuyasha and Kagome were.
Not listening she shrugged and said, "sure."
"WAIT...WHA-!?" Sango screamed as she was interrupted by the lips of an anxious monk.
Kagome and Inuyasha intently stared into each other's eyes as they softly smiled to the other.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Sango woke up to a naked version herself and she panicked. She looked to her side and the answers slowly unraveled.
"MIROKU YOU PERVERTED RAPIST MONK! GO TO HELL!!"
&...8 months later...&
"INUYASHAAAA!" Kagome screeched as she rubbed her enlarged, round belly. "WHERE ARE MY PICKLED STRAWBERRIES DIPPED IN MUSTARD!!"
"MIROKU!!" Sango cried out in a whiny tone. "Go get me some apples dipped in anchovies please..." she begged with an irresistible twinkle in her eye.
The men grumpily mumbled something to themselves and began to turn around to go fetch their beloveds' scrumptious treats, until they heard a small whimpering sound.
They turned to be faced with something that they were so used to.
The women's faces were soaked in tears as they scolded the men. "You guys are so careless, trying to leave us here alone to die. What if a demon came and attacked? How could we survive! You just want to get rid of us so both of you can run and frolic with rainbows and ponies!" they incoherently cried.
The minutes flew by as they tried to comfort their irritating wives.
Kagome ceased her tears.
Uh-oh.
"SITTTTT!!" Kagome shrilled as she jolted up and kicked Inuyasha in his family jewels.
Miroku patted his still bawling wife as he grunted in pain, understanding the pain Inuyasha was enduring. He glanced at Inuyasha and they inwardly sighed.
'Safe sex, my ass,' they both thought.
"Hey you ever think Kagome used those condoms we gave her?" Ayumi asked her two companions as they played strip poker.
"I hope not," Eri replied as she removed her t-shirt, revealing a see-through undershirt.
"Why not?"
Eri and Ayumi looked over to a naked Yuka and casually answered, "because we popped each and every one of them."
Lol. I like how the story turned out, even though there could've been wayyyy better aspects to it. Oh well, i'm busy getting ready for my spring fling.
xoxo; please review :)
Love&Peace
