Something Worth Living For
My name is Yuuki Asuna, and I'm dying.
No, I'm not really dying, I just wanted to die. It's just...this past few years, I can't really take life seriously right now...
Perhaps I should explain more about why I got myself into this pitiful state.
Ten years ago (or was it eleven? Ah, screw it), I was one of the victims trapped inside a death game called Sword Art Online, which was created by Kayaba Akihiko, a mad genius who thought of himself as a god of this god-forsaken world. Thousands of gamers got trapped inside, and almost half of them got killed off for real. Some of them were my friends, some of them I failed to protect, some of them didn't even stand a chance...
I was killed, too, by my 2nd most trusted person inside SAO. Heathcliff, the legendary fighter who is just about excellent at anything he does, which I later learned that he just cheats his way through the game, because he's the creator of it himself. Yes, the very person I trusted as my commander, turned out to be the mass murderer who's behind this whole mess, Kayaba Akihiko.
Through sheer dumb luck, and possibly a miracle, I was saved, by my most trusted person inside SAO, who is my husband, Kirito-kun, the notorious Twin-Bladed Swordsman, the infamous solo player Beater, the master of everything except fishing...
Kirito, or as I learned his real life name later, Kirigaya Kazuto, is the most wonderful person I've ever met. Had I met him in the outside world, I'll just thought of him as a naive, anti-social boy who's a year younger than me. Me? Well, I'm the beautiful princess of the CEO of RECTO Progress Inc. As my father is a powerful man, well, at least in the online entertainment field, I usually got everything I wanted at the sound of my command. Everything in my life was perfect, at least until that fateful day when I used the NerveGear to get into SAO.
When Kayaba revealed his plans to the players during the 'opening launch', I found myself standing speechless in the crowd of thousands of enraged players. For one month I found myself unable to do anything except hunting low level beasts to gain some experiences. I didn't have any friends since I arrived in this world, so I work alone. I didn't even join a guild, for fear that I'll only just be a burden to them. One day, a man called Diabel assemble a meeting to take on the first floor boss. Even though I had no reason to participate with them, I went to the meeting anyways. Why I did that is still a complete mystery to me, but I didn't regret my decision at all.
Because it was here that I met him, my beloved Kirito.
He was the only person at the meeting who did not join any party when Diabel ordered us to split into groups to take on the boss. He approached me and offered to party with me, just for this fight, because he told me there's no chance in hell that any of us could take on the boss one-on-one. I reluctantly accepted, still not sure about this whole party system will work with me...
That evening, I met him again when he offered a cream for my bland bread. It was surprisingly delicious that it inspired me to improve my cooking skills (Well, seeing that he is obsessed with my sandwiches right now, I'm probably doing things right.) He then offered to show me how to get it by doing a certain quest, but I refused. I told him that I was not looking for a good food, I was trying to be myself. In my real life, I used to be a spoiled brat with a red carpet in front of me everywhere I went, but in here, where I had to look out for my own skin for the very first time. I finally understand the reason I worked alone was not because I was afraid of dying, but I was afraid of not being myself. In guild, there's restrictions. In party, there's always a catch. On your own, that's the best way to go. I can tell that Kirito is a solo fighter like me, too.
But something is different in him, he had different reasons for fighting alone.
It took me two freaking years to finally understand what's keeping him like that; he had a troubled past with a certain guild he failed to save. Of course, by that time I'm far more experienced than back then, and I finally understand the values of teamwork and why he failed to save that guild. This is probably thanks to him, as well, as he told me after we defeated the first boss, that I should join a guild. At first I didn't understand what's he talking about when he said that, seeing that he's a solo player himself, after that stunt he pulled about being a 'Beater' that caused immediate hostility between him and other players, but after two more weeks, I grew more confident in my skills, and eventually made some friends who also happens to be members of a high-ranking guild inside SAO. They eventually accepted me, taught me a lot of things I could use to survive in this deadly game.
And then I met him again...still bearing his usual anti-social self.
At first, I hated this personality of his, but eventually found out that he's more than meet the eyes. I once blamed him for being useless, always slacking around while others risked their lives on the battlefield. His response? It's the best season in the game right now, and it's a shame to let this opportunity to enjoy it go to waste. He made me confused yet again, all he's experiencing right now is just a fake, generated by computer programs, he then told me that even though it's a fake, our feelings are real. We live in here, the outside world means nothing to us right now, so we better enjoy it while it lasted. I thought a little bit, and decided to lay off once in a while.
And thus began a long tale of me and him bickering around like an old married couple while we tried to survive against the odds.
Long story short, after a while, I fell in love with him. (Darn, I said it...) I don't really know when that happened, when he decided to take on the 74th floor boss by himself to save a bunch of idiots who decided to take on the boss on their own despite being very exhausted from continuous fight, when he fought with Heathcliff, the legendary fighter, to free me from the burden of a guild, which resulted in him forced into the guild himself, or maybe when he was about to die by the hands of a backstabbing bastard when I rushed to save him.
After we got married, and that incident involving Yui, our AI daughter, whom I cared and loved no different than a real life child of my own, I realized that Kirito means everything to me in this world and the next (literally...). He showed me the colorful side of this mad world, that everything is not all bad and not all good, either. He taught me that we should make use of what we have, treasured every moment and lived the life as best as we could. He loved me so much, and I loved him equally so. I had no hesitation at all to jump in front of him to protect him from Heathcliff/Kayaba's sword...
But I survived. For reasons unknown, Kayaba freed me, when I should be dead, from the crumbling castle of his, along with Kirito, who should be dead as well. It was this very moment, above the infinity skies overlooking a golden sunset, where I learned his real name, and I told him mine. We have beaten the odds together, and now we could began our lives anew, together.
But fate was cruel, as I was not yet free.
Imagine the most despicable bastard you've ever known, multiply his evilness by ten, no, wait, make that a hundred, then you got Nobuyuki Sugou. This asshole makes Kayaba Akihiko feels like Martin Luther King, Jr.
He literally stolen everything from me, my life, my love, my right to live. He treats me like his possession. Hell, he even tried to rape me, thrice! And that's just the things he did to me. God only knows what he had in mind for the other 299 trapped players he kidnapped from SAO.
Yet Kirito came to save me once again, he fought and beaten the odds yet again, just because I meant everything to him. I also got to meet my friends again, as well as Kirito's sister, Lyfa. I was finally freed at long last.
But why, oh why, what did my husband do to deserve such a cruel fate?
Even now, he couldn't forget about his traumatic experiences inside virtual worlds, not only SAO and Alfheim Online, but also Gun Gale Online, the infamous Project Alicization and who knows how many virtual worlds he's been to, and I could done nothing to help him despite everything he did to help me...
Kirito, no, Kazuto doesn't feel like a human right now, he's like a humanoid robot. Each day, he went to work eight hours a day, got home, ate dinner, then went to bed, like they were the only things he was programmed to do.
Granted, his experiences inside virtual worlds has taken a toll on him, a lot, but I can't help but feeling that this isn't the Kazuto I used to know. Where's that cheerful yet mischievous smile? Even Yui can't make him feel any better (Yui can now exist in the real world as a humanoid robot with Yui's personality)...I talked to him a lot of time about this, but he just ignored me. Sometimes we even argue, ending with him running out of our home and never returned until the morning. Sometimes I just can't believe we're actually in love with each other. Sometimes I feel like our love existed just inside that long lost virtual world of ours.
I felt so useless again. My life had no purpose once again. With nothing to fight, nothing to gain, there's always something to lose.
And I have been losing a lot these past few years, even my will to live.
Then one night, he came home as usual, and did the most shocking thing to me.
He made love to me.
A passionate night, long since forgotten for the two of us...
After we did our deeds, he spoke to me.
"Asuna, I'm sorry. I haven't been myself lately. I've been too stressed this past few years. I had to let it all go, all those things, those scars...they may never heal no matter how much time has passed, but I can't...I can't let my scars create new ones on you...my love. I...I love you so much Asuna...I'm sorry...I just...I just wish I could be a better husband than this..." He cried heavily in my chest, his tears flowing down my body.
"Ka...Kazuto-kun..." I was crying too. Damn, you just had to pick this moment, you idiot...
"I...I asked the company to give me a week-long break, they granted. So tomorrow, I'll...we're...we're going to some place fun." Kazuto said.
"And where would that be?" I asked. Curiosity formed in my mind, he had never taken us to anywhere interesting this past two years.
"It's some place you're very familiar with..." He smiled, the very same smile that made me fell in love with him all those years ago.
"Let's go to Aincrad!"
"Yay!" Yui, who appeared out of nowhere, jumped onto the bed where we both lying.
"Ah!" I screamed, and quickly hid myself under the bed sheet.
"Wah! Yui! When did you...darn...I forgot to lock the door..." Kazuto facepalmed himself.
"Let's go there together, mommy, daddy! I wanna see uncle Klein and aunt Suguha again!" Yui gave me the happiest smile I've ever seen since she became a real child, and we all share a great laugh together for the first time in many years.
At last, I have found something worth living for...
I remember all of them now, all of those happy memories, with Kazuto/Kirito, with Yui, with everyone.
For the past few years, I only cared about what I lost that I forgot to preserve what I have. I forgot about all those adventures inside SAO. I forgot about those times we shared in that world, both good and bad. I forgot about what binds us together in the first place.
For whatever crap life throws at us, I must not let that make me lose faith in living.
It's similar to playing a chess.
You always play on the same board, with the same rules, yet it keeps getting harder as you're getting better at it, yet you keep playing it, not because it made you smarter, but because it's fun. What point is there to play a game when it doesn't make us feel any better? Games are supposed to do that! And while some people will disagree with me, I think that life is similar to that. You're living your life to enjoy it, not to suffer from it, even though life can be pretty cruel sometimes. But alas, I have made my decision...
However cruel life might be, I will live on.
To see my life to the end...with everyone...
Editor's Note: Whew! There goes my 2nd Story! Yay! So, you think I was cruel to let the Kirito and Asuna's love story have a bad ending, after all the crap they went through? Nah, I'm not that cruel...even though I was willing to kill thousands of people to satisfied my childhood dream. Mwwwuuhahahaha! Actually I'm Kayaba Akihiko! I'm still alive and kicking, and now I will have my revenge LOL! -Hey! Get off my account, you're already dead!-Sorry, the ghost of Kayaba took control of my keyboard and wrote this story...well...I'd admit it's a pretty nice story, Kayaba, so I'll let you go for a while! Anyways, for the sake of Heathcliff, please review this story!
PS. About the whole GGO & Project Alicization Arcs, I haven't finish them yet, so I just assumes it would do something bad to Kirito's mind. So whatever happens, this fic is non-canon and is just purely a fan fiction, not related at all to the aforementioned two arcs.
PSS. My previous story, Something Worth Fighting For, may got a rewrite later, as I discovered a lot of mistakes in it, as well as I wanted to tie that story to this as well.