This is a little apologize One-Shot for my dear readers. I'm sooo sorryy for taking so long :'(
I hope you enjoy reading!
Fernweh
Izaya sighed. A frustrating feeling rose inside his body while staring at the screen in front of him.
Before he had started chatting with one of those stupid girls again, he had been utterly happy, but this feeling had disappeared immediately when he had started reading those words, that the girl was sending him.
Hadn't he read those words once before? Exactly those words?
A great boredom began to boil inside of him and before he even noticed it, he was yawning and totally frustrated about this whole situation. This was wasting his precious time!
The fact frustrated him even more. His humans were supposed to be charming, to be interesting and making his blood flow with joy.
Where did this feeling go? This feeling, he had always felt, when humans where so utterly surprised by his actions - or even better - when he was surprised by the actions of his humans!
He missed this feeling. He was sure, it was love he felt for them, whenever he was close to them. So exciting! So thrilling!
But there was no point in continuing this chat right now. This was just boring! He really felt as if he had read every single word at least once before in his life. -Every little meaning that stood behind them.
He decided to stop fooling around with that girl and came up with some stupid excuse, why he had to stop writing with her right now.
She believed it - of course - and when he turned off his PC, he sighed once again, before taking his coat and leaving his office eagerly.
Out there were more interesting humans! There must be!
After all, this was only one stupid girl. One among many! She might have bored him to death, but that of course didn't mean that all of his precious humans were as boring.
He stepped out of the house fresh air hitting his face. He was beaming with joy in anticipation, that something thrilling might happen every second. Something totally unexpected!- The reason, why he stayed here in Ikebukuro. The reason, why he became an Information Broker.
But his hopes were shattered like glass, when the people were running around the streets like always, were chatting about the same things like always, and were definitely acting like always. They were so stupidly and naively trusting him that it hurt his head and then they were so surprisingly shocked about his betrayal - as if they would actually think that he was a good guy. Pfft! Please!
He really felt as if he had experienced all those situations once before.
Somehow the urge to puke right in front of him rose inside of his stomach. He felt sick and disgusted by the monotony of this city.
When did it become like this?
Hadn't he always been happy to be here? But only because of the awesome and unique experiences he had made with his lovely humans!
If this aspect was gone, then why was he still here? This uniqueness had given his life a sense. He had always thought, that if those special things kept appearing he would find something even more thrilling - something that was supposed to bring him into a godlike state. That would carry him beyond those mundane futilities and to a place where he could see a sight, no one had ever seen before him.
Sky high angst rose inside of him and made his blood freeze, when he understood, that this dream was most probably gone. - If he stayed here, that is.
Without having noticed it, he had walked into a huge building climbing up the stairs.
When he reached the end of the inner building, there was a door leading to the roof top. He opened it stepping out into the blue sky.
Sun was meeting his face, when he approached the railing and a gentle wind was blowing strands of hair off his face.
His face was directed at the ocean in front of him shining and reflecting the burning sun. The other houses were lying under him and he couldn't oppress a feeling of being superior to everything else in this world. It was a beautiful sight, peaceful and reassuring, and made him wonder, what might be behind those blue waves.
He exerted his eyes, but couldn't recognize anything lying behind the horizon. It was endless - indeed endless.
The ignorance about the world lying beyond Japan created a great curiosity inside of him.
Actually he had never cared for anything that was happening out of his reach. Izaya knew, that he couldn't control the world - he didn't even want to. All these years he had been satisfied with being in Tokyo. Because he had never been bored. Of course he hadn't - there were so many things happening here, that made him think that this was all he needed to see. Headless riders, vampires, yakuza, Russian killers and a man throwing cars around like pencils - was there more he should want?
But what if he could find such a thing somewhere out there, too? Maybe something even more unique?
Celty was coming from Ireland, he thought - so why not a country full of Dullahan? Or a country, where an awesome war between vampires and humans was waging? Or a country filled with demons, where angels were descending from the sky ready to fight them?
Was Tokyo really enough for him? He had seen so many things here and just today had been the day he had noticed, that he might had seen them just too often.
Was Tokyo really satisfying him? Somewhere else might be even more interesting than this city- and he didn't even know about it. And Izaya wanted to see everything. He wasn't stupid. He knew, that his life was short. So painfully short (if he wasn't able to find a solution to make it last forever)! So why hesitate?
There were opportunities he had never even thought about. But right now they were filling his mind rapidly leaving a curious, but also angst-inducing aftertaste.
Why should he stay at a place that wasn't giving him any challenges?
Isn't my life too short to waste it at a place that's never changing?
Somehow watching the flowing waves calmed him down, still wondering what might be at the other side of them.
Should he risk it? It seemed so easy. Just out of Japan. Going in the direction of something new and unknown. Didn't that sound thrilling?
What would happen behind the horizon? And when would he come back?
- Would he ever come back?
He thought about all the things that had kept him here for years. Tricking his sisters, eating Russian sushi, chatting with Celty, playing with Shizu-chan, laughing with Shinra ... and then there were his beloved humans, that had disappointed him- only one day. Only today. Maybe it would change tomorrow. Maybe it would change the day after tomorrow. Wasn't he exaggerating? He was thinking about leaving his home just because one day didn't go as he wished to.
Just because of that? Was he really willed to leave his home just because of that?
Sure, this day had been frustrating, but it didn't mean that this wouldn't change soon.
Izaya had always thought that he was fine as long as there were some of his beloved humans around him. But was that really all?
This was his home and he could feel that there were things that connected him to this place. Every little thing that he did regularly, every person he saw more often than once or twice - he had a relation to it, a personal one.
And those relations went deep. They were keeping him in this place making it hard to let go. But still they were also making him smile occasionally.
This is what home is meant to be, hm?
A smile appeared on his face. Izaya knew that this was ridiculous. He knew that whole Tokyo wasn't as frustrating as he thought it was. He knew that one chat with a stupid little girl couldn't destroy the relationship between him and this city.
It weren't only the humans, that made him love this place. It were the convenience stores, the gangs and the streets he knew like the back of his hand.
Every little thing here was a part of him. Though this morning started to bore him, he knew that he couldn't let go of this. Maybe he should just put more effort into making his life more interesting for him.
He couldn't just blame everyone else for being boring, could he? What he did with his life, was his decision and he was the one to decide if it would be boring or thrilling. After all, Izaya Orihara wasn't at the end yet.
Just at the moment he thought that he still wasn't willed to experience another déjà-vu that day, a big elephant statue was crashing into the wall behind him.
"I-ZA-YA!" Shizuo screamed loud enough to let everyone hear it.
The blonde was actually standing at another roof top of a building next to his, before he started jumping over to approach the raven.
Without wasting a second Izaya ran in the opposite direction jumping down on a smaller roof, before he ran off in an alley hoping that the blonde wouldn't be able to catch him. A big smile was covering his face.
Not everything is boring here, isn't it?
Hope you liked it. :)
For the title: "Fernweh" is a unique german word, that describes the yen for distant places.