A/N: SEQUEL TIME!!

She Bangs

Chapter 1 Heists, Animal Cotumes, and Switzerland!

"Itachi I want to break up, un," Deidara said. It had been a month since they hooked up and our little Dei Dei was getting that just friends vibe. "Me too," Itachi said. "I can't really see us more then friends." "Same here, un!" Deidara exclaimed relieved. "No hard feeling?" "No hard feelings," Itachi said. "See ya later!"

- - - -

"So after all the fucking things we did to get you two fucking together you end up as just fucking friends," Hidan said before class. "You should be happy, un," Deidara said. "If it wasn't for me, you and Kakuzu wouldn't have S&M filled nights." "He's got a point," Kakuzu said. "Speaking of which next time can you not pull out my stitches. My doctor is making a fortune that should be mine."

"You know you fucking love," Hidan said. "I do until the bill comes in," Kakuzu said. "So Deidara," Kakashi said interrupting the lover's quarrel. "Find any new lovers yet?" "We just broke up this morning, un," Deidara said. "I need time to heal." "That code for I'm gonna have a threesome with Hidan and Sasori tonight for no apparent reason," Sasori said.

"Correct, un!" "Alright class settle down," Mrs. Yip-yip said entering the classroom. "Today we have some new students. I would introduce them but it seems as though they got lost." Then the door suddenly flew open, as though someone kicked it, to reveal a blonde boy draped in leather and a green haired boy wearing every color known to man.

"Introducing the dynamic duo of dastardly deeds Mello and Envy!!" they cried. "Oh my god you guys what are you doing here?!" Deidara said really excitedly. "Oh my god Dei Dei is here!!" the green haired boy know as Envy said. "What are you doing here?!" "I asked you first, un!!" Deidara said.

"Well, we got caught robbing a bank and the judge sent us here to try and change our horrid ways," Mello, the blondie, said dramatically."I'm so happy, un!!" Deidara said. "I missed you guys so much!!" "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!" Hidan screamed.

"Oops my bad, un!" Deidara said. "Everyone this is Envy and Mello, my bffs from New York." "Class you all have a quiet study period while I go speak to my pharmacist about more medication," Mrs. Yip-yip said leaving the room.

- - - -

"WHAT?!" Deidara cried at lunch. "He married some prostitute just because he got her pregnant twelve years ago, un!!" "Sorta," Envy said. "You see she was recently widowed and was left with a fortune. So he took advantage of him being the father of her son." "You guys wouldn't happen to know his name would you?" Deidara asked.

"Of course!" Mello said taking out a candy bar. "His name is Naruto." "Alright gang!" Deidara said. "I say we go to NYC, find Naruto, stop my dad from marrying his mom, and then throw a party, un." "Can't," Envy said. "Naruto lives in Switzerland." "Who the fuck lives in Switzerland?" Hidan said.

"Swedish people," Mello said taking a bit of his chocolate bar. "It's Swiss not Swedish," Kakuzu said. "Sempai!!" Tobi said. "Tobi is confused. Since when did we start talking about cheese?" "I dunno, un," Deidara said. "But personally I like cheddar." "Hey remember that time we dressed up as animal for Halloween?" Envy said.

"Oh yeah!" Deidara said. "That was so much fun, un!" "Damn," Hidan said. "If only I could have fucking seen that." "Don't worry," Mello said. "We have pictures." "Damn Dei Dei you look so fuckable in a bunny costume!" Hidan said. "But who's this guys in the pink cat costume?"

"Uh oh," Envy said. "You shouldn't have done that." "MATTY HOW COULD THEY BE SO CRUEL!!" "Matt is Mello's boyfriend and is not allowed to leave the country after the whole Paris Hilton incident," Deidara said. "Legally we're not allowed to talk about it though, un." "Oh," Pein said. "That sounded like it would be a good story. Wanna go to Starbucks and get a Frappicino?" "Sure why not," Mello said.

A/N: For those of you that watch Fullmetal Alchemist you guys know Envy doesn't look like a gay pride flag. Personally I think it would be funny if he did so I made it so he does. And in Death Note Mello really does wear that. Lol! And yes, Deidara's dad is a total dickhead in this story. Thanks for reading!

Trivia: "Zemmiphobia - fear of the great mole rat." I'm not quite sure what that means but it sure as hell sounds funny! If anyone can explain this fear to me please do.