Sparkling diamonds – closing me in, shutting me out
Diamonds
Sparkling, breathtaking diamonds
They were so beautiful
The ring was so beautiful
So why did it make me feel sick?
Why did it give me an urge to puke?
I already knew the answer
It was his face
His eyes
His hopeful eyes
The way he looked so vulnerable
Standing on his knees
Begging me to love him
Begging me to pick him
Choose him
I just didn't know what to do
I didn't know what to say
Yes
No
Of course
I'm sorry
Should I lie and close my eyes
Should I give in
Should I give up
Could I tell him the truth
Could I tell him I didn't love him enough?
Break his heart
-He would die-
Take his life
-He's so frail-
Insecure
What if I would hurt him
What if I would kill him
Would he ever manage to get through it
Would he survive without me
Survive being ditched by his first and only true love
I didn't know
I just don't want to hurt him
Diamonds
Blinding my sight
Was this all I would get out of life?
Jacob
Diamonds
A prison
His eyes looking so hopeful
Full of that light
My own personal sun
Still never enough
Still an eternal eclipse from behind
Edward
His name is still so sweet
As pure as it was the first time I heard it
As the first time I tasted it in my mouth
Yeah, Jacob was my sun
But Edward
Edward was more than that
Edward was the beginning
Edward was the end
My inner soul was divided in him
He was I
I was him
Still he wasn't here
He was gone
Was lost
Away from me
Gone
He had left me
He had dumped me
He had left me screaming
Slowly he didn't want me
He didn't love me
Jacob wanted me
-He wanted me badly-
Jacob loved me
-He loved me with his whole existence-
Still he wasn't Edward
He wasn't the one
But Edward was gone
I still remember him
His face
His kisses
His smell
-His wonderful smell!-
The way he looked at me
I remember me thinking
He's the one
The only one I would ever love
The only one I could ever love
The only one I would ever want
Now I don't know
-I just don't know-
The impossible became possible
I met Jacob
I fell in love
It was just so that I couldn't give him whole my heart
My heart was already taken
I kissed him and wondered why it didn't feel the same
I kissed him and tried to ignore my aching pain
I love Jacob
But it's not enough
He's not the one
He's no Edward
There is only one Edward
And he's not here
He's gone
The diamonds continued to glow
Jacob's eyes slowly died
Insecurity coloring his face
His eyes
The light in them were fading
Soon he would be gone
My last hope
My last sun
He was my sun
Just not the brightest sun
Not the right sun
He wasn't my brightest star
Just my plan B
My last way out
But maybe that's better than nothing
Maybe that's the best I'll get
All I'll ever get
Diamonds
Love
A prison
Closing me in
Shutting me out
Jacob
He's not Edward
He's not the one
But Edward is gone
I closed my eyes
Made a decision
Killed myself slowly
Fearing the fall as I lost all my air
This was the end
Giving up my last hope
Giving up my last dreams
Giving up on Edward
Once and for all
I looked up
Already knowing this was the end of the line
I looked into Jacob's eyes
He was still dying
I wanted to save him
I wanted to make things alright again
-I would never be alright again-
I forced a smile to cross my face
Disbelief
Relief
In his
As I said "yes"
The world fell down
My heart died
So did I
Everything faded
Before I gave in to a lifeless life
I turned to the part that was Edward's in my soul
"I'm sorry"
A/N-
So this was a really cheesy one-shot.
I know
It's all about the drama
And the sorrow, of course
Please tell me what you think about it
Please review, it gives the strength to keep on writing
Even though it's so many other things going on
Hope you liked it
Review3
XXXXXX Ms. Fairytale