Title: Naughty Nights and Magic Fingers
Rating: K
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the grapes I'm eating right now.
Summary: Psst…Wanna look at something naughty?
Author's Note: I don't even know where this came from, but it seems to be following the same thread as my other fic-the summary sounds dirty. Oh well.
Naught Nights and Magic Fingers
"Psst…Wanna look at something naughty?" Morgan eyed the area surrounding him and its distinct lack of anything that could talk. "Down here my beautiful eyeful." He tilted his screen back, and Garcia smiled up at him. "That's better."
"Garcia, it's two in the morning."
"And isn't it wonderful? Here we are-just the two of us sitting at our respective desk meters apart in the dark with absolutely nothing to do but file away form after form." She smiled at the smirk on his face and his sigh. "No hot date, handsome?"
"Not tonight."
"Not to repeat myself or anything, but wanna see something naughty?"
"Please tell me you're not looking up security cameras in the FBI's storerooms on the FBI computers."
"Where's the fun in not doing that?" She tapped her pen close to the screen where he could imagine his forehead would be on her monitor. "Just browsing some cafe that my friend was at, and I found our little, genius doing some serious flirting."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"Get down here if you want to see it."
"Baby, you know I'm on my way." Morgan was on his feet before he heard the closing door behind him.
"You still here?"
"Yeah, ummm, you?"
Prentiss lifted her coffee cup up and saluted Morgan as she headed for her desk. "Oh yeah."
"…Ask her!" Morgan did a double take towards his desk before beckoning Prentiss over.
"Garcia found a live feed of Reid trying to pick up girls."
"No honey, girl-it's just this one girl."
"I've got to see this."
"Then get down here."
They were halfway down the hall when Prentiss choked on her coffee, and slammed one hand into Morgan's shoulder.
"Hotch is still in his office. He'll love this."
Morgan grinned. "Call him."
The entire squad but for Reid was there by the time Garcia had pulled up the feed on three monitors and the chairs were situated just in time for JJ to find a seat and pass out popcorn bowls. Rossi leaned forward with one hand balanced on the chair in front of him.
"The boy's miserable around women, isn't he." Prentiss eyed his balancing hand as it pressed into the back of her chair.
"Remember when you met?" Morgan tossed Hotch a mini-popcorn bag as he spoke. "Now, try to imagine that, but twenty-seven times worse."
"Lord knows we've tried." JJ shook her head.
"Had I not known him even the game wouldn't have made up for it."
Prentiss didn't take her eyes off of Rossi's hand. "Why?"
"He's just so…Nice. Some guy tossing out peanuts hit me in the head and Reid apologized for it about five times before I just shoved a handful of peanuts in his mouth to shut him up."
"Were they shelled?" Morgan just laughed as he watched Prentiss learn of Reid.
"No."
"Ssshhh…Look." Garcia turned their heads towards the screen with a twizzler as Reid pulled a quarter out of his pocket. "He's going to do a magic trick for her."
Morgan nodded. "I don't know. He might need to teach me how to pull a napkin with the girl's number out of thin air."
Prentiss tossed a popped kernel at Morgan's head. "Remind me never to introduce you to my friends."
Reid passed his left hand over his right as the quarter appeared and disappeared before holding his empty hands up for the girl to inspect. She smiled.
Hotch nodded. "He's actually doing pretty well."
Garcia blinked and fluttered her hand before he face. "Our little boy is growing up so fast."
Rossi frowned. "He messed up." JJ nearly spilt her bowl in her hurry to get closer to the screen as they all watched Reid fumble around as though looking for the quarter-his hands went behind her ears, on the table, under the table and around the napkin dispenser.
"He never messes up."
"No way has my boy messed up. He can pull a microchip out of a psycho's arm, but not some chick's ear?"
Hotch sighed. "I think he's more nervous around chicks than around psychos."
Prentiss missed the bowl as she tried to grab a handful of popcorn without her eyes leaving Reid's worried expression. "No way."
They all watched as Reid's fingers curled around the silver locket at the girl's throat and opened it. She smiled as she removed the quarter from her necklace. Reid brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear and pulled his hand back he smiled with a business card in his hand.
"He's gotten good."
Garcia let out a shriek. "He's gotten great."
"No chance out sound?'
"Way to loud. He's at some all night coffee fanatic place."
Reid tucked the business card into his inner jacket pocket as he stood up.
"Was that her business card?"
"My man!"
JJ frowned. "Are they leaving? Together?" Reid pulled the girl's chair out and placed some blurred amount of cash on the table while taking her hand to help her stand.
The room was silent as Reid and the girl walked out of camera range, and no one moved as they watched the last still of the two-Reid walking with one arm around the girl's waist. Morgan punched the air.
"That's my boy!"
--
Reid found himself surrounded by the B.A.U. team as he poured some ungodly amount of sugar into his coffee the next morning, and they left him no room to maneuver through gaps. His eyes moved from the left to the right as he stirred.
"Ah, guys, did I miss something?"
"No, Reid, I think the point is that you didn't miss something." Reid turned towards Morgan with his coffee halfway to his lips. Garcia wiggled one eyebrow at him.
"A tiny, brunette something?"
Reid choked on his coffee and pressed the back of his right hand against his lips.
"How?" His eyes narrowed from wide surprise to glare at Garcia. "You didn't!"
"We just happened to see your little magic trick."
Reid just starred at her.
"And your exit." Prentiss patted his shoulder as she spoke. "With the girl."
Reid took a sip of his coffee.
"You wouldn't still have her card in your pocket, would you?" Hotch managed to pull the jacket back and grab the card as Reid pressed his lips together.
Rossi read the card as Hotch held it out at arm length.
"Doctor Kathleen Markowitz-Federal Bureau of Investigation." Rossi raised one eyebrow. "Another agent?"
Reid nodded.
"She carries a gun?"
Reid took another sip of his coffee.
"You get any action?"
"Morgan, you do realize that you sound like a jackass?"
"Did you have a nice, quiet night at home with Doctor Kathleen?"
Reid nodded again.
"My man!" Morgan waited for Reid to return the high five, but the younger agent kept one hand in his pocket and the other curled around his coffee.
Garcia touched his arm. "Well my big beautiful brain, is it love?"
Reid pressed his lips together again before answering.
"She's seventeen."
. . .
"She's also my neighbor and a magic enthusiast. I walked her to her door since it was two in the morning." No one tried to stop him as he pushed through them to his desk. "And no, Morgan, I did not get any action. If I had I'd be in jail." They watched as their youngest friend retreated to his desk. Garcia sighed and spoke.
"Anyone else feel really stupid?"
Prentiss nodded. "Yeah." Hotch turned towards to the blonde at his right.
"JJ, is there a case?"
"Yeah, I'll go get the files."
"I'll get Reid."
Morgan eyed Garcia. "Baby, don't ever spy on Reid again."
"Yeah, uh-hu."