Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I am not Stephenie Meyer; If I was, I would probally be hiding my face in shame at the last book.
A/N: This will be a three chapter story. Reviews are awesome. If you read it, review it!
Bella's point of view
I sat in my room with the blinds drawn, the door shut, and the light off. Charlie wasn't home. Charlie. The name pierced me like a stake through my heart. That one name struck the dam inside my head that was holding back all the other names that I never wanted to think of again.
I could feel my self-placed resistance crumbling in my head. Any minute now the dam would break and bring the flood of names with it. Any minute now the pain would start. Any Second NOW! The pain hit me like a brick wall. All of the names came through my head like marathon runners.
Charlie, Renee, Phil, Angela, Ben, Mike, Eric, Tyler, Angela, Billy, Jacob. The last name started the tears for real. They had already been trickling down my cheeks, but now they came in earnest. Soon, all too soon, the others would sweep into my mind. I wouldn't let myself wallow in pain brought on by these names alone...oh no, I would drag out the one I had locked away in the deepest recesses of my head. I felt the pain building, and knew that the real pain would be coming. The new pain would make this pain look like child's play in comparison.
Rosalie, Emmett. I cried out, stuffing my fist in my mouth. The first two rocked me where I sat. I clutched my chest hoping to stifle some of the pain, yet it did no good. The rest followed shortly. Carlisle, Jasper, Esme, Alice. His name was coming. I could feel it build up somewhere deep inside of me. It was like my body was physically getting ready for the mental torrent coming.
Edward. It was here. I fell sideways onto my bed; the force had literally knocked me down. Edward, my angel, my love, my soul mate, my universe, my lover, my - I was pulled out of my thoughts by the choking noise. I wasn't surprised to see that it was me making the noise. My tears, now cascading down, had fallen into my mouth, cutting off my breath.
I made my decision. Blindly I made my way to the door. Stumbling down the stairs, I fell into the kitchen. Pulling open the draw with the knives seemed to jolt me back to reality. My mind started to whirl again. It was ironic. When I first came to Charlie's I had been the one to rearrange the kitchen. I was the one who placed these knives in this draw. I would never have guessed back then that the objects in front of me would be put to this purpose.
I also would never have guessed that I would have met a vampire. Never guessed that I would have fallen head over heals for this man. Never had guessed that I would fall in love with him, foolishly thinking he loved me back. No! my brain protested. Maybe he still loves y-I refused to let myself think that. He left me and made his intentions clear. I had only been a mere distraction.
I picked up the steak knife and slowly closed the draw with my hip. I took the knife in both hands; one hand would never provide the force I needed. My hand was steady. I thrust my chosen suicide weapon into the left side of my chest, hoping to hit my heart already broken with love.
The front door opened.
I fell to the floor, and my hands fell limply from the knife.
I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
so much more
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
My vision quickly clouded over with blackness, but I could still hear, amazingly. I heard a feminine voice call out.
Her word rang through the house. "Bella?" It was questioning. I knew that voice. It raised so many feelings in my feebly beating heart. It was Esme.
Esme! My blood deprived brain weakly processed this information. Maybe... she... came... back... maybe... she... still... wants... me... maybe... Edward... still... wants... me...?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?
Well, I hope you liked it!