Call Her

You're the first face that I see,

And the last thing I think about.

Emily's POV

"Emily! Earth calling!" Spencer called me and snapped her fingers in front of my face. I raised my head from the table and glanced at her angrily.

"What?" I asked with impatient voice.

"What do you think about my plan?" she raised her eyebrows questioning. I just stared at her blankly. Spencer sighed frustrated.

"My plan to catch A?" she stated even more impatiently than me. Wow, I thought sarcastically. You win, girl.

"No, absolutely not", I stated shaking my head. Spencer sighed and leaned back on her seat.

"Em, just think about it", Hanna said from the other side of the table.

"That might be our only chance", Aria joined the conversation.

"I said no.Okay? We're not putting Ali in danger like that again –ever", I was seriously getting tired of their plans. They never worked and for some reason, they always put Ali in danger.

"She doesn't even have to do anything. She just needs go somewhere by herself", Spencer explained.

"And we'll be following her the whole time. We'll be ready when A shows up", Hanna added quickly.

"Yeah, and that worked so well the last time", I said sarcastically.

Everyone around the table went quiet. They all remembered way too well what had happened the last time they had tried that. The faces chilling creepers in New York was still fresh in everyone's minds. Good.

"We'll be more careful this time", Spencer said but she didn't sound very convincing.

"No", I said emphatically."We are never putting Ali in danger like that. Never again, you hear me?"

It was quiet again. Even Hanna didn't know what to say. Aria twiddled the ring on her index finger. Hanna kept glancing around nervously. Spencer just looked down on her lap.

"So, we all agree? Good, because I'm leaving", I stood up and grabbed my bag from the floor.

"Wait, Em. You don't have to go", Spencer grabbed my arm and looked me begging in the eyes.

"I have to go. My mom's waiting me for dinner", I said and shook her hand off.

Without letting them say anything I turned and walked out of the Brew. The cold air hit me as I stepped out of the door. I wrapped my jacket tighter around me. It was pretty dark outside. I didn't know how long we had been at the Brew. Maybe few hours. We had called Ali to come with us too but she had to be with his dad today. Now that Kenneth got his daughter back he wanted spend time with her as much as possible.

I walked to my car which was parked on the other side of the road. There was no traffic and there were only few cars besides our cars. I walked to mine and unlocked the doors. I sat on the driver's seat and started the car. After I did that I rested my back against the seat.

I couldn't believe they had even thought about using Ali as bait. Didn't they learn from the last time? And I seriously thought that Spencer was the smart one. I pushed the others away from my mind.

My thoughts traded back to what I had been thinking before Spencer had brought me back to reality. The first time I had seen Alison. I remembered when I saw her walking to the Rosewood Day. It was the first day at school about five years ago. I was standing at the hall my back against the lockers. I had been thinking about the swim practice which was held later that day. Then she walked in. I didn't know why but instantly my attention focused on her. It was like a magnet would have drawn my attention.

She was like a shining light in the middle of darkness. Her confidence was something I had never seen. She didn't look around as she walked. Why would she have? In my eyes there was no one else in the hall. All I could see was her. But when she walked past me she glanced at me and smiled. That made my heart flatter. Then she looked away without knowing how she had made me feel. Or maybe she had. Well, I'll probably never know.

I took my phone from the bag and dialed Alison's number. I hesitated. IneedtocalltoAlison. But why? There's no way we're actually going to carry through the plan. Why would Ali even need to know about it? I put my phone back to the bag and breathed out slowly. Since Ali had told us about Noel, things have been getting weirder and weirder. It was weird to be in the same room with her. Well, in my case that wasn't because of her keeping secrets...

I heard a knock on the window. I jumped up startled but relaxed when I saw Toby. I lowered the window.

"Hey, Em, what are you doing here?" he asked smiling.

"Nothing much. I was at the Brew with the others. I was not really feeling well so I figured that it would be better for me to go home", I smiled at him. It was nice talking to Toby. I mean, we hadn't really talked properly for a while.

"Is Spence there too?"

I nodded.

"How's your leg?" I asked remembering how Toby had run to the burning house.

"It's all good. It was nothing big, a sprained ankle. I just need to take it easy for few weeks but then it should be fine", he glanced down at his leg.

I smiled. "Well, that's good to hear. I heard that you're going to join the police forces", I looked at him worried."Is that true?"

"Well, I'll do anything to keep Spencer safe. If that involves having a badge and a uniform then that's not so bad", he grinned and glanced at his watch."You've better go home to rest."

I nodded. We said quick goodbyes and he headed to the Brew. I closed the window and slowly drown off the parking lot. I wasn't going home. I really had to go meet someone...

…...

Ali's POV

I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was holding my phone on my right hand. Just one touch and it would call straight to Emily. Why was it so hard? Things had been weird between us after that kiss and I really didn't know what she thought about me. I really wanted to meet her but I just couldn't. I needed to talk to her. Not just about the kiss. About everything.

I glanced once again at the phone once again. Call her,you coward,I told to myself. Just call her and say what you have to say. But once again I let my hand fall down on my stomach. I glanced at the clock. It was 7.30. I wondered if the girls were still at the Brew.

I closed my eyes. My mind traveled back to the night when we kissed. I thought about Emily. Her voice when she asked was I asleep. I remembered myself hesitating before I rolled over to look at her. Her beautiful eyes. Her beautiful, kissable lips. I could almost feel them on mine. I could almost feel her hand on my cheek. My eyes flashed open. Don't think about that. That will never happen again. But I had to admit that I wanted it to happen again.

I sat on the edge of the bed. I had to meet her. I had to talk to her. I needed to. I stood up and grabbed my phone from the bed. I ran to the front door. My dad wasn't home anymore. He had had to go to work with short notice so I was alone at the house. I took the keys from the table. I glanced at the room one more time before I put my hand on the handle and opened the door. I didn't watch where I was going and I pumped straight into someone. I heard a girl gasp and I felt her stumbling further from me.

"I'm sorry-" I started but stopped when I saw who it was. "E-Emily."

"Ali, hi", she said quietly. Her hand was raised for a knock but now she let it fall down. Something in her face, something about that expression told me that she might have not knocked. I couldn't do anything but stare at her. She was so beautiful.

"I-I was just coming to see you", the words left my lips before I could stop them. Damn, you idiot! Why did you tell her? Idiot!

Emily looked surprised."Why?"

"I just don't want to be alone. My dad left a while ago", I realized what an idiot I was. It was almost freezing outside but I didn't even ask her to come inside."You don't need to freeze out there. Want to come in?"

Emily hesitated for a moment before she nodded. I let her in and closed the door behind her. I threw the keys back to the table and took my shoes off.

"Do you want anything to eat? Something to drink?" I asked as I headed to the kitchen.

"I could take some water", she followed me after she had taken her jacket and shoes off.

"So, why did you come here?" I asked as I filled her a glass of water and handed it to her.

"I was just coming to check out were you okay", Em explained and took a sip of her water.

It was silent for a moment. Neither of us really knew what to say. My head was filled with thoughts but my mouth refused to say them. Em looked just as puzzled as me but she looked maybe even more nervous than me. Maybe she had reason to.

"Emily, I think we need to talk", I finally said breaking the silence.

"About what?" she asked raising her eyes to meet mine.

"About everything", I replied but she kept looking at me waiting. I hated the way my voice trembled as I talked but I couldn't really help it. "About the kiss, about what I said..."

Em was obviously surprised about my honesty and straightness. She put the glass on the table and sighed.

"Em, I'm really sorry about lying to you. I really regret saying those things to Mona. That's why I didn't tell you guys. I wanted to just forget what I did. I was so embarrassed", I felt my cheeks redden. My eyes filled with tears but I wiped them off.

"You lied to us, Ali -again. And that thing with Noel", she shook her head slightly, "you can't expect us to just forget that", she continued her voice full of pain. It hurt me to hear that. I had hurt Emily. That was unforgivable.

"I know. And I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I couldn't do that. I don't have any right to do that. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am."

Emily didn't say anything. She just stared at her glass with her arms crossed over her chest. I could swear my heart hasn't raced this hard in a long time.

As the silence continued, I sighed. "Okay, let's put it this way; ask me anything you want and I'll answer ad honestly and truthfully as I can."

"When I kissed you... you kissed back. And earlier you said that my feelings weren't just one-sided", she struggled to get out the words."Did you mean what you said? Do you have feelings for me? "

I let out a deep breath. I knew she would ask that. I raised my eyes to meet hers."Yes, I did before and still do."

There was another moment of silence."Do you?" I finally braced myself to ask.

She seemed like she was hesitating. The silence was just heartbreaking. "I... I don't know", she mumbled.

"Em, it's not that hard", I wanted to know the truth. I had to."You either have feelings for me, or you don't."

"Ali, I-"

I interrupted her waving my hand."No, Emily. I just want to know the truth. Either you tell me it now or you'll maybe never have a chance."

She still kept quiet.

"Damn it, Em! I open my heart, my soul to you and what you give me? Nothing! I almost feel like-"

"I love you, okay?" she shouted interrupting me. The words hit me like a fist."I love you but I just can't admit it to myself."

"Why?" I asked and was surprised about how calm my voice sounded. I wouldn't have been surprised if Emily would've heard my heart beating.

"Because..." her voice was shaky and desperate. She avoided looking at me."If I do then there's no way back. There's no getaway."

I stood up and walked to her. I knelt down in front of her. I took her hands on mine. She slowly turned her gaze at me. I could see all the emotions, all the thoughts in her mind from her eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes I had missed so much while being gone.

"You don't need a getaway", I said leaning closer to her. My stomach felt like it was full of butterflies. I was so close to her I could feel her beath on my skin. I breathed slowly in and out. For a moment I thought that we would kiss. Just before it happened, Em stood up and stumbled farther from me.

"I can't do this", she said with shaky voice. She took her jacket and put her shoes on. She ran out of the door before I could stop her.

I just stood there for a moment, my mouth open, without any sound coming from there, my hand raised up wishing that I could touch her, feel her skin under my touch. I felt empty without her, like a piece of my heart would've been ripped away. Piece that nothing, no one else could fill.

I felt a tear falling down on my cheek. I hadn't even noticed the tears in my eyes before that. I sat on the couch, feeling powerless, empty and lonely. Another teardrop rolled down my cheek and dropped to the ground. I didn't wipe them off. I just let them fall. What have I done? Why do I always ruin everything? I'm a walking disaster.

I couldn't get up from the couch so I stayed there. Hour after hour I just stared blankly at the window. At some point I fell asleep. I wasn't sure what time it was. But just before I fell asleep there was one crystal clear thought in my mind. One name.

Emily.