A/N: This is something a bit different to my other stories; let me know what you think.
Throughout the four series' of Blackadder, Baldrick has been seen reading various letters and notes. But being lower class and a servant, he wouldn't have gone to school, so that leaves the question: how did he learn how to read?
P.S - I know that Baldrick actually reads a letter in the first series, but this story is set in the third series, because it worked better that way. ;)
...
Blackadder had never been so confused as he was when he returned from Mrs Miggins' shop one afternoon, ready to get back to work, to find Baldrick sat in his chair, leaning over a pile of letters addressed to him.
"Baldrick," He announced lightly, stepping behind the other man. "Is there a reason you're sat in my spot, rummaging through my belongings and reading my old letters like... Like a..." But he couldn't bring himself to come up with an insult; Baldrick had shot up out of the chair like it was on fire, scattering the letters everywhere, looking terrified.
"Sir!" He exclaimed, before apologetically scrambling to pick up the paper all over the floor. "I... I'm sorry, I weren't reading them, sir!" He tried to explain, his voice lacking its usual obvlivious quality.
"You weren't reading them?" Blackadder repeated, disbelievingly.
"No, sir, I swear!" Blackadder took a threatening step forward and Baldrick took a step back to match. "I couldn't have been reading them, sir!"
"Oh, really? And why not?" Blackadder raised an eyebrow. Baldrick didn't answer. "Why not?!"
"I can't read, sir!" Baldrick panicked, only realising he'd said the words after they'd left his mouth. His eyes widened, almost comically.
"Pfft, a likely story!" Blackadder rolled his eyes, sweeping up the rest of the letters and striding across the room to put them away. "Why would you be looking through my letters if you couldn't read them?"
"I was trying to learn, sir." Baldrick said quietly, staying stood frozen in the same place he'd been when Blackadder had caught him.
"Learn?" Blackadder turned slowly to face him.
"Learn to read an' to write! I was gonna teach myself, sir, using all the bits o' writing I found about the house!" Baldrick nodded, somewhat proudly.
"What have you learned so far?"
Baldrick sat at the counter again and grabbed a creased sheet of paper from the floor, one he had clearly been using to practice. Unevenly, slowly, he scrawled over the page in large, messy handwriting: 'Edmund Blackadder'. He peered up from the page nervously.
"You wrote my name." Blackadder commented dryly.
"Yes sir."
"Is that... All you can write?" He sneered slightly.
"No." Baldrick returned to the page and, taking even longer this time, unsteadily spelled out the words: 'Prince George Regent'.
"You can write, after Lord knows how long practicing, a grand total of five words, and those five words are in fact the names of your two employers?"
"Yes sir, becuase there weren't many words in your letters that I knew what they were, and I thought I ought to start with the important ones." Baldrick told him matter-of-factly. Blackadder looked away; he wouldn't ever admit it, but he felt ever so slightly guilty and sort of honoured that the servant had decided his boss' name was more important than his own.
"Can you write 'Baldrick'?" He enquired casually. The man in question stared blankly at him. Then he looked down at the paper on the desk. Hesitantly, he scribbled a 'B'. His forehead creased in frustration. "I know what it should look like from your writing, sir, but I can't make the letters go on the page!"
Blackadder started towards the desk, then glanced from it to the door and back again, before pulling up a stool and taking a seat. "If you were to learn how to write the letters, do you think you could figure out the words?" He frowned, scanning the paper in front of him. Baldrick stared blankly at him. "We'll do letters first." Blackadder murmured, realising how difficult such a task would actually be.
"Sir?" Baldrick was clearly trying very hard, but struggling to catch on.
"Sit down, Baldrick, we haven't got all day."
Baldrick dropped into the seat he'd been in before. Something clicked in his mind, and he picked up the quill, looking back up at Blackadder to check he hadn't gotten the wrong end of the stick. Blackadder nodded briefly, not entirely comfortable with being responsible for something quite so important. He sighed, and, after only a moments hesitation, picked up a quill of his own.
"Ok, Baldrick; this is an 'A'..."
...
A/N: So it doesn't really go anywhere, I know; but there are so many heartwarming moments in Blackadder, I couldn't resist writing a one shot where Blackadder is actually nice to the other characters. There will most likely be more - suggestions are welcome!