Disclaimer: My inspiration, but not my property.
A/N: Post-ep one shot for 5x05. Just watched it today, and how could I not? Don't think this scene has been tackled, but I could be wrong. Enjoy.
Faith
"You should have seen him, Lanie. He looked like a little boy. He was so scared," says Kate, eyes so large, swimming with tears.
They're sitting side-by-side on the sofa in Kate's apartment while the detective confides in her friend.
Kate shakes her head at the haunting, painful memory, and more tears come.
A loose curl flops down onto her forehead, her hair looking disheveled, nothing like her usual state of perfection, after a day of distracted, worried combing through with restless fingers as she fights to make sense of what's going on with her partner, her boyfriend, whose current address is a holding cell at the Twelfth Precinct.
"I know him, Lanie," she insists, voice still quiet, though the power of her conviction burns through her words. "He is an immature, egotistical, self-centered jackass sometimes. But he's not this."
She looks heart-broken and love sick in equal measure, and Lanie asks the only question that pops into her head.
"Are you sure?"
Kate looks away, and for a second, Lanie thinks that maybe she does have doubts. God knows this man, this playboy when she met him, would have given her every reason to doubt her in the past.
But then Kate looks Lanie in the eye, and she slowly nods her head, tears still streaming down her face, her eyes bloodshot and reddened, her nose running like a child's and she says, "As I've ever been of anything. He didn't do this, Lanie. There's no way."
A sob breaks free of her throat, and she quickly stifles it with a fist stuffed full of Kleenex. An image of him in Holding pushes its way to the front of her mind; that metal grill between them, home to countless fingerprints and sample DNA from real felons. A surge of grief and anger, shot through with pure fear, clenches at her heart. She just wants to get him home, push him into the shower ahead of her, and then bathe him with gentle strokes and the tender touch of her own hands, until they both feel clean; free of this disgusting nightmare that has snagged their love-story in its jagged net and threatened to ruin it.
"So, what are you going to do about it?" asks Lanie calmly, breaking into her thoughts.
"I…I'm going to figure it out. I have to. If Castle thinks he's being framed, someone has to be doing the framing, and they've gone to a hell of a lot of trouble to do it too. The planning something like this must have taken…"
Kate shakes her head tiredly, pushes the stray hair away from her face. She needs sleep, she's emotionally and physically exhausted, but she needs to fix this more. Because until her partner is back in her bed, she knows she'll never be able to rest.
"You really love him, don't you?" says Lanie softly, tilting her head to the side to watch her friend struggle, affection shining in her eyes.
Kate thinks about denying it, but…
"Yes," she says, her brow knitting together into another frown, a prominent vein pulsating in the center of her forehead as a result of all the stress, making her look far more fragile than she actually is; though he is now her Achilles Heel, her weak spot.
"Yes, I do. I love him," she admits, as another sob breaks free. "Damn silly, infuriating man."
She realizes with a hot flash of guilt that she has just shared the truth of these words with her friend, and yet they've still to make their way past her lips in the presence of the man they're really intended for. So she makes a bargain with some higher power – get them out of this, and Richard Castle will never again be in any doubt as to how strongly she feels about him. She'll skywrite it if she has to, but that man is going to know just how much she loves him.
"How long?" asks Lanie gently, reaching for Kate's hand and giving it an encouraging squeeze, drawing her attention back to the room.
"How long have we been together?" asks Kate, because she knows that her friend has known for a long time that Kate had feelings for her partner, they've shared that much before.
Lanie nods.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you," Kate confesses. "I…we wanted to keep it just for us, to ourselves for a little while until we figured out what it all meant. But I should have trusted you, Lanie. I'm sorry."
"Honey, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm just glad you two finally got your freak on and sorted out that whole damn mess of frustration y'all had going on, so the rest of us could stop being tortured by all that unresolved sexual tension crackling in the air every time you two were anywhere near one another."
Kate actually laughs at this, and then instantly feels guilty, given where her partner is right now.
"So, how was it?" prompts Lanie, never one to shy away from asking for details.
"The first time was…I had to do a lot of apologizing before he'd even let me through the door, so I guess in the end he made me work for it," explains Kate, raising an eyebrow at the M.E.
"Well, well. Who'd of thought it? Richard Castle a hold out against Kate Beckett," she clucks, sounding newly impressed by the writer.
"Yeah. But it was worth it in the end. Every missed opportunity, every time I took the cowards way out from telling him how I felt…it all led up to that moment, and, Lanie, it was so worth the wait," she tells her, turning a beaming smile and eyes glassy with reminiscence on her friend.
"That good, huh? Dammit girl! You're blushing, Kate Beckett."
"That great," corrects Kate, not caring if her cheeks are flushed. "He is so tender and sweet and thoughtful, and then…jeez, Lanie, he can just sweep me away like I never imagined was even possible. I've never felt like this before, so…cared for and desired at the same time. He just…he loves me," she says simply, shrugging her shoulders as another tear slips down her face and she lets it go.
"And, aside from keeping it a secret, it's been so easy, so comfortable between us. We just…we genuinely like one another, everything else aside. He still makes me laugh, and makes me mad. But it's just…better now. All of it. Like he filled this hole in my life I didn't even know was there. And the sex…" she adds with a smile, before the discussion gets overly sentimental.
"I knew that glow had to come from somewhere," Lanie scolds, with a wag of her finger. "And, honey, believe me when I tell you, you never glowed that way when you were with Josh, or any of those other guys you dated. Richard Castle is definitely good for you, Kate. So, you're right. You need to fight for that man."
So she does.
THE END
Always keep the faith if there's something you strongly believe in. Listen to your gut - it usually does have magical properties! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Liv x