Never Give Up

He didn't fall in love with her hair.

But they'll get through it all because they're survivors.

Chapter One: A Dreadful Secret

Reba Hart paced her living room as she awaited her family's arrival. She had sounded frantic on the phone, that much she knew, but she had no idea how to calm herself down. Her heart boomed in her chest, her muscles tightening all around it. She felt trapped, trapped in this state of anxiety with no way out.

Her hands were clenched tightly, her long nails digging into her palms; the pain giving her temporary relief from the dreadful feeling inside of her chest. She continued to pace, knowing full well if she stopped, she would lose it. Everything around her would collapse into a pile of rubble and she would be trapped underneath it, unable to get up. Her family didn't need to see her like that, not until they knew what was going on.

Reba didn't want to do this. She wanted to run, away from this world, away from everything. But it had already been a month and she had no choice. She tried waiting for the right time, but there never seemed to be one. She didn't scare easily, but at this very moment, she was petrified.

Brock and Barbara Jean burst through her front door and Reba felt some relief at the familiarity of their action. Everything was about to change, the idea of having some normalcy despite it all was comforting.

"Reba? What's wrong? It sounded urgent." Barbara Jean was quickly by her side, placing a hand on her shoulder. Concern filled both of their eyes as she was sure they were going over and over the possible scenarios in their minds.

Brock stood by the door, his eyes wide like saucers and his hands deep in his pockets. Reba could tell that he, too, was scared. He knew her better than anyone, so he could tell just by looking into her eyes when something was wrong.

"The kids will be here shortly, but I wanted both of you to hear the news before I break it to them. You might want to sit down." She nodded her head towards the couch.

"Reba – "

"Please, just sit."

Barbara Jean pressed her lips tightly together and listened to the redhead, Brock following her actions. Reba felt her stomach churn and her nerves gripping tightly at her chest. How was she supposed to do this? She had handled everything thrown at her over the years, but how was she supposed to do this? For once in her life, she was lost and scared and unsure of what to do next.

She hadn't said it aloud because as soon as she spoke those words, everything became real. Until now, it was something only she had known about. It was a secret, one she wished she didn't have to tell. But alas, here she is.

"Reba, honey, you are scaring us. Please tell us why we are here." Brock leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees and staring intently at her. She could tell by his use of the word "honey" that he was freaking out just as much as she was and she felt a jolt of courage pass through her chest. She stopped her pacing in front of the couch and looked at her two friends. This was it. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for the words she was about to speak. Her hands were shaking and she quickly rubbed them against her jeans.

"I, um," her voice began to shake and she hadn't even told them the news yet. She rolled her eyes back into her head and dug down deep inside of her to find the last shred of strength she had. "I have cancer."

Brock and Barbara Jean's eyes went wide and they both sat back against the couch in synch. The room went a deafening quiet and all Reba could hear was the sound of her heart beating in her chest. Had they heard her? Did she finally say those words out loud? She could feel her panic rising once again, how she wished this was all just a dream.

"No." Barbara Jean finally managed to mutter, her words taking Reba by surprise. "No." She could hear the tears in her friend's voice and felt her own forming in the back of her eyes.

Barbara Jean stood from the couch and looked at Reba, her eyes watering, and paused for a moment. "No." She shook her head and looked to the ground for a split second before exiting the room. She was in denial that much was obvious. Reba had been there, too, a month ago.

She turned her attention to Brock who had yet to say a word. He sat there with his hands entwined in his lap and stared blankly at the wall in front of him. Reba stood there patiently, clasping and unclasping her hands as she rocked back and forth on her heals, waiting for him to say something, anything.

Suddenly, he stood from the couch and rubbed his palms against the jeans he wore. He didn't say a word as he walked passed her and towards the door. She could see the calmness in his movements and felt concern wash over her. He was in shock.

"Brock." Her words hit him in the back of his head and he stopped walking and stood in front of the door. Reba watched his back as his head fell and he stared at the floor. He wasn't going to leave, not after Barbara Jean had already walked out, and she knew that. Just like her, he didn't know how to handle this. It had come as a shock to her, so she could only imagine how dumbfounded he was at this very moment.

Reba began to move towards him, but stopped when she heard his breath become heavy and saw his hands form into fists. Before she could stop him, he swung his fist out in front of him and connected with the door. She shuddered at the loud thud it made, knowing how much that must've hurt him, but jumped when he did it again and again.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

She quickly ran towards him and gripped his shoulder. "Brock! Stop! Stop it right now!" She tried to pull him away from the door, but he was too strong. Finally, she pushed him out of the way enough for her to squeeze in between him and the door. She grabbed his face and looked deeply into his eyes and that's when she saw every ounce of pain they contained.

"Stop."

His shoulders fell and his body softened under her touch. He stepped back, causing her small hands to fall from his cheeks, and covered his mouth with his hand. He looked towards the ceiling and inhaled sharply. Reba wanted to scream, to cry, for the pain she was feeling and for the pain this would bring upon her family.

"Are you sure?" His words were a whisper and the weakness in his voice latched onto her heart and squeezed for dear life. She saw the glisten in his eyes and knew the news was ripping him into two. She felt everything she'd tried to hide deep inside of her, crawling up her ribcage, scratching against her walls, desperately begging for light.

Are you sure? His questioned echoed in her mind, breaking her heart with the innocence that shadowed it. She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to stop the tears from falling, but as she nodded her head in response to his question, the salty liquid began to stain her cheeks.

"Yes, I'm sure."

Brock felt all of the air leave his body, like he'd been hit by a semi-truck. This could not be happening. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to regain his composure. He needed to be strong, not only for his family, but for Reba as well.

He opened his eyes and immediately wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her close. Her body shook against him as she let out all of the fear she had been holding in. God, she was so strong, but for once in her life, she needed someone else to be that for her.

"We'll get through this, I promise you."

Brock rested his chin on top of her head and held her as close as he possibly could. Her arms remained at her sides and he understood just how broken she was at that very moment.

After a few minutes had passed, Reba had finally calmed down for the time being. Despite their divorce, she was thankful they had remained friends. She wasn't sure she could go through this without him. He kissed the top of her head and pulled away from her body so he was able to look into her eyes. He had a soft look in his eyes which calmed her even more.

"Let me make us some tea and you can tell me everything I need to know before the kids get here. I'm not going to let you do this alone, sweetheart." He pinched her chin gently and forced a smile, more for her sake than his.

Reba nodded and when he reached down to her side and wrapped his hand around hers, she didn't pull away. She let him lead her into the kitchen and smiled when he pulled out one of the tall, green chairs from the counter and nodded for her to sit.

She watched his back as he leaned over the counter and waited for the kettle to boil. Her secret was out in the open and she felt her load lighten, even if it only lasted for a short while. She jumped at the click of the kettle and watched the hot water steam as Brock poured it into their mugs. It wisped and whirled around in the air, dancing before disappearing as it hit the ceiling.

Brock set the mug of tea down in front of her and climbed up onto the chair next to her. Her hands immediately wrapped around her favourite mug and she enjoyed the warmth coursing across her palms. Seven years had passed, but he still knew which mug was the one she preferred.

"I can't image how hard this is for you, Reba, but try to tell me everything. I need to know every single detail so I know what I'm talking about when I tell the kids." He moved his hand to her knee and rubbed his fingers in soothing circles, something he had always done when she was upset.

"Brock, you – "

"Yes, I do. You've got enough to worry about, let me do this. Please."

"Thank you." He nodded and silence quickly fell between them. She didn't know where to start, or even how to start. Her thoughts were jumbled, scattered, and she found it hard to focus on the right words to say.

"Two months ago, I started waking up every night covered in sweat. I tried fans, I tried everything, but nothing seemed to work. So, I chalked it up to hot flashes and figured I was going through menopause. After a month or so, I noticed a drop in my weight and lack of colour in my face. Nothing drastic, no one else seemed to notice and again, I figured it was all part of my change in hormones. But one morning, I was putting on my deodorant and I noticed a lump in my armpit. I mean, Brock, it was big enough that could see it and I knew something was not right." Reba stopped talking and took a shaky breath as memories of that day flooded her mind. He patted her knee and urged her to continue.

"So, I made an appointment with my doctor and he told me my lymph nodes were swollen. I had only noticed the one under my arm, but the ones in my neck were swollen, too, apparently. Long story short, he ran some blood tests and did a biopsy on my lymph nodes and found that I have Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma."

"Wow." Brock was literally speechless. How could this be happening to their family? How could this be happening to Reba? This was a journey she did not deserve. She has spent every single moment of her life doing the right thing. A day hasn't passed by where she hasn't put everyone she loves in front of herself. She's the light in their family and he could not handle seeing that light go out.

"Yeah, apparently I'm already in stage three which means it has spread to several of my lymph nodes, but hasn't wormed its way into any of my organs yet. It's not ideal, but at least they caught it before stage four. Dr. Richardson hasn't figured out the exact plan yet, but I will be going through chemo. I have an appointment on Wednesday to get all of the details."

He felt sweat cover his palms and his breath catch in his throat. Stage three? Chemotherapy? Why couldn't it have been him? Why her?

"Does it hurt?" The idea of Reba being in pain chilled him to the bone. He didn't know how this went.

"Not really. I get a pain in my abdomen every now and again and my lymph nodes are tender, but other than that, no. I can feel it inside of me, though. It's a weird feeling. Kind of like a dark cloud hangin' around. I know it sounds silly and I can't really describe it, but it's true. You know that feeling when you have an unwanted visitor standin' outside of your door? Like that."

Brock nodded and Reba felt her cheeks turn red when she realized she had bared her feelings to him. She wasn't usually one to do that voluntarily.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Reba stared at her reflection in her tea. Why hadn't she told anyone? She had tried, had wanted to, but every time she did, something stopped her, told her not to. Maybe it was her fear or maybe it was that stubbornness she was famous for.

"I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. I was scared, Brock. No one in my family has ever had cancer."

She turned to face him and the look in her eyes broke his heart.

"Oh, honey." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. "After I tell the kids, we're going to figure this out. And I'm coming to that appointment Wednesday, no arguments."

I've only written this one chapter and I'm posting it to see if my readers are interested in this story. It's based on the song "I Didn't Fall in Love With Your Hair" by Brett Kissel and Carolyn Dawn Johnson. Read it and let me know what you think. I heard the song and knew immediately that I wanted to try something different.