Spoilers: Starts immediately after Smashed with spoilers for the rest of
the season.
Rating: R to be on the safe side.
Disclaimer: I own nothing here. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfics. Everything belongs to Joss Wendon UPN and ME.
Feedback: Please review and let me know what you think.
The floor of the abandoned building collapsed as Buffy and Spike fell through. Spike landed on his back in a pile of rubble with Buffy on top of him.
Buffy looked down into Spike's eyes. He was looking up at her as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. His eyes were shining with shock, amazement and love.
Suddenly the safety of being in Spike's arm disappeared and confusion and blind panic settled in. She jumped up off Spike and backed away, her hand over her mouth.
"Oh, God."
"Buffy." Spike said in surprise.
"I have to go," Buffy said, backing away further.
Spike jumped up and grabbed Buffy by the shoulders.
"Let go of me!" Buffy said angrily. She tried to pull out of his grasp, but he wouldn't let go.
"Not until you tell me why you're running away," he said.
"Spike, please.just let me go," Buffy pleaded, trying to pull away. Spike gripped her harder.
"Just tell me."
"I-I just.I-I can't do this," Buffy said, her eyes filling with tears. She pulled out of his grasp and started for the stairs. Spike ran after her and spun her around to face him.
"Do what?" Spike asked. "Let yourself love me? Let yourself be happy?"
"No.that's not what I mean." She turned her head away. Spike reached for her chin and forced her to look at him.
"Yes, that is what you mean. Being with me makes you happy. Just admit it. Ever since you came back I was the only one you could talk to. I was the only one here for you.who let you be yourself."
"I-I just can't go through this again," Buffy said. She felt the tears begin to fall as she looked up at him.
"Do what again?" he asked.
"I can't love another vampire," Buffy said softly. "How do I know you won't turn on me like Angel did?"
"I am not Angel," Spike said heatedly. I am nothing like that poof. God, if I was I would've dusted myself a long time ago."
"I know you're not like Angel," Buffy said softly, looking down.
"Then you should know I would never hurt you or leave you like he did," Spike said softly. He reached up and put his hand on her cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb.
Buffy looked up at him again. "But they all leave me," she said tearfully. "My dad. Angel. Riley. Giles. They all left me because they thought it was best for me."
"You've been trying to get rid of me for years. Do you really think I would leave you now?" Spike asked. "They didn't know what you needed. If they did, they wouldn't have left."
Buffy looked into Spikes eyes and she knew he was right. He wouldn't leave her.
"Just let yourself go," Spike whispered. "Tell me what you feel and let yourself be happy."
Buffy let the tears fall again and she started sobbing. She wrapped her arms around Spike and buried her face in his chest.
"It's okay, luv. I'm here for you." Spike said soothingly. "Let yourself go."
Buffy gripped him tighter. "I love you," she whispered into his chest. "Please...don't leave me. I love you so much. Please."
"Buffy, I love you so much," Spike whispered, holding her tightly. "I'll never leave you."
They sank to the ground and Spike pulled Buffy into his lap. He stroked her hair soothingly and whispered words of comfort into her ear as her tears began to subside. After a few minutes Buffy pulled her head away from Spike's chest. She looked up at him and smiled apologetically.
"I'm sorry," she said softly.
"What for?" Spike asked.
"For all of this," Buffy answered. "For everything I've put you through. For all the times I've turned you down when I should've told you what I felt from the start."
"Well you are a stubborn little chit, aren't you," Spike said teasingly.
"Hey," Buffy said indignantly.
"But I still love you," Spike added softly.
"I love you too," Buffy whispered.
Spike leaned down and kissed Buffy softly. He reached up and ran his hands through her hair, pulling her closer. Buffy parted her lips, deepening the kiss. She moaned and wrapped her arms around Spike's neck. After a few minutes she finally pulled away.
"I hate to stop, but sitting in a pile of rubble in a demolished house isn't exactly comfortable," Buffy said with a smile.
"I agree," Spike said and they both got up and headed for the stairs.
They walked in silence to Buffy's house, hands joint, just enjoying being together. They got to Buffy's house and walked up the steps to the front door. Spike wasn't sure if he should leave now. He wanted more than anything to stay but he didn't know if Buffy would want to risk getting caught by Willow or Dawn.
Buffy let his hand go and turned to face him. "Stay with me tonight?" she asked softly.
"What about Willow and Dawn?" Spike asked, silently cursing himself to just shut up and take her offer.
"I don't care," Buffy said. "I want you here with me tonight. I want to wake up with you next to me.
Spike leaned down and kissed her softly. Buffy took his hand again and led him inside. They quietly made their way up the stairs and into Buffy's room. She closed the door behind them and locked it.
Spike pulled Buffy into his arms and kissed her passionately. Soon all their clothes were discarded all over the room. They fell onto the bed and lost themselves in their passion.
Afterwards, Spike lay on his back completely contented and Buffy rested her head on his chest.
Spike reached up and started stroking Buffy's soft hair. "What are you gonna do tomorrow?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Willow and Dawn are bound to find out that I spent the night here. What are you gonna tell them?"
"They won't find out," Buffy said. "We can keep the door locked. Dawn has school in the morning and Willow usually leaves early."
"You aren't gonna tell them we're together?" Spike asked.
"I know I'm gonna have to tell them eventually, but it'll be easier to tell them all together."
"Well, just as long as you tell them," Spike said. "I don't want to have to sneak around all the time."
"I'll tell them," Buffy assured him.
***
Please review and let me know what you think.
Rating: R to be on the safe side.
Disclaimer: I own nothing here. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfics. Everything belongs to Joss Wendon UPN and ME.
Feedback: Please review and let me know what you think.
The floor of the abandoned building collapsed as Buffy and Spike fell through. Spike landed on his back in a pile of rubble with Buffy on top of him.
Buffy looked down into Spike's eyes. He was looking up at her as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. His eyes were shining with shock, amazement and love.
Suddenly the safety of being in Spike's arm disappeared and confusion and blind panic settled in. She jumped up off Spike and backed away, her hand over her mouth.
"Oh, God."
"Buffy." Spike said in surprise.
"I have to go," Buffy said, backing away further.
Spike jumped up and grabbed Buffy by the shoulders.
"Let go of me!" Buffy said angrily. She tried to pull out of his grasp, but he wouldn't let go.
"Not until you tell me why you're running away," he said.
"Spike, please.just let me go," Buffy pleaded, trying to pull away. Spike gripped her harder.
"Just tell me."
"I-I just.I-I can't do this," Buffy said, her eyes filling with tears. She pulled out of his grasp and started for the stairs. Spike ran after her and spun her around to face him.
"Do what?" Spike asked. "Let yourself love me? Let yourself be happy?"
"No.that's not what I mean." She turned her head away. Spike reached for her chin and forced her to look at him.
"Yes, that is what you mean. Being with me makes you happy. Just admit it. Ever since you came back I was the only one you could talk to. I was the only one here for you.who let you be yourself."
"I-I just can't go through this again," Buffy said. She felt the tears begin to fall as she looked up at him.
"Do what again?" he asked.
"I can't love another vampire," Buffy said softly. "How do I know you won't turn on me like Angel did?"
"I am not Angel," Spike said heatedly. I am nothing like that poof. God, if I was I would've dusted myself a long time ago."
"I know you're not like Angel," Buffy said softly, looking down.
"Then you should know I would never hurt you or leave you like he did," Spike said softly. He reached up and put his hand on her cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb.
Buffy looked up at him again. "But they all leave me," she said tearfully. "My dad. Angel. Riley. Giles. They all left me because they thought it was best for me."
"You've been trying to get rid of me for years. Do you really think I would leave you now?" Spike asked. "They didn't know what you needed. If they did, they wouldn't have left."
Buffy looked into Spikes eyes and she knew he was right. He wouldn't leave her.
"Just let yourself go," Spike whispered. "Tell me what you feel and let yourself be happy."
Buffy let the tears fall again and she started sobbing. She wrapped her arms around Spike and buried her face in his chest.
"It's okay, luv. I'm here for you." Spike said soothingly. "Let yourself go."
Buffy gripped him tighter. "I love you," she whispered into his chest. "Please...don't leave me. I love you so much. Please."
"Buffy, I love you so much," Spike whispered, holding her tightly. "I'll never leave you."
They sank to the ground and Spike pulled Buffy into his lap. He stroked her hair soothingly and whispered words of comfort into her ear as her tears began to subside. After a few minutes Buffy pulled her head away from Spike's chest. She looked up at him and smiled apologetically.
"I'm sorry," she said softly.
"What for?" Spike asked.
"For all of this," Buffy answered. "For everything I've put you through. For all the times I've turned you down when I should've told you what I felt from the start."
"Well you are a stubborn little chit, aren't you," Spike said teasingly.
"Hey," Buffy said indignantly.
"But I still love you," Spike added softly.
"I love you too," Buffy whispered.
Spike leaned down and kissed Buffy softly. He reached up and ran his hands through her hair, pulling her closer. Buffy parted her lips, deepening the kiss. She moaned and wrapped her arms around Spike's neck. After a few minutes she finally pulled away.
"I hate to stop, but sitting in a pile of rubble in a demolished house isn't exactly comfortable," Buffy said with a smile.
"I agree," Spike said and they both got up and headed for the stairs.
They walked in silence to Buffy's house, hands joint, just enjoying being together. They got to Buffy's house and walked up the steps to the front door. Spike wasn't sure if he should leave now. He wanted more than anything to stay but he didn't know if Buffy would want to risk getting caught by Willow or Dawn.
Buffy let his hand go and turned to face him. "Stay with me tonight?" she asked softly.
"What about Willow and Dawn?" Spike asked, silently cursing himself to just shut up and take her offer.
"I don't care," Buffy said. "I want you here with me tonight. I want to wake up with you next to me.
Spike leaned down and kissed her softly. Buffy took his hand again and led him inside. They quietly made their way up the stairs and into Buffy's room. She closed the door behind them and locked it.
Spike pulled Buffy into his arms and kissed her passionately. Soon all their clothes were discarded all over the room. They fell onto the bed and lost themselves in their passion.
Afterwards, Spike lay on his back completely contented and Buffy rested her head on his chest.
Spike reached up and started stroking Buffy's soft hair. "What are you gonna do tomorrow?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Willow and Dawn are bound to find out that I spent the night here. What are you gonna tell them?"
"They won't find out," Buffy said. "We can keep the door locked. Dawn has school in the morning and Willow usually leaves early."
"You aren't gonna tell them we're together?" Spike asked.
"I know I'm gonna have to tell them eventually, but it'll be easier to tell them all together."
"Well, just as long as you tell them," Spike said. "I don't want to have to sneak around all the time."
"I'll tell them," Buffy assured him.
***
Please review and let me know what you think.