Red Irony
I hear a gunshot go off on this bland, ordinary day; which day escapes me, because it's so like any other day that the name doesn't really stand out anymore. But now I can only say that when I first heard it, I somehow knew where it came from. And I don't want to know, and I keep thinking to myself that it's bad to assume, it's wrong to assume, assumptions can kill a person... Then I try not to think anymore and simply walk to what I believe should be the source.I wish I had been wrong; I really do.
Seeing Heero with his legs dangling from the side of the bed, one hand at his hips and another gripping a gun, his eyes glazed over and open, not realizing the sights he could be taking in, a smile, a smirk slightly stretching his mouth... That is what caused me to shriek once and rush to his side. My thoughts warp into a looping sing-song of no and no and no; my eyes started watering, and my hands begin to shake as I behold this fragile, broken, strong and stubborn boy.
But why now a dead boy?
I can't stop myself from letting a few meager whimpers escape my throat, or stop my fingers from trying to rip my hair from my scalp. The thoughts become whispers--
no no no
--then, an almost normal tone--
No no no
--to insistent--
No No No
--finally screaming--
NO NO NO
--and so I collapse, my voice becoming hoarse because I don't know how to stop saying no. When that gives out, I give into crying; hadn't I said once that boys don't cry?
Dead boys don't cry. Death doesn't either. It laughs at everything.
Shinigami, you fiend; what possessed you to take Heero away? What made you lead him to this point? Why did you drive him past the brink and into your arms?
They are not my arms; I'm not Death, Shinigami. Otherwise Heero would be with me.
I laugh because it's a little funny--Heero's right here with me! Sure, he doesn't have a pulse, and isn't breathing, but he's still here...
I feel something kick me in the back; how annoying. I turn around, my eyesight wavering, and I see Heero swing his leg back towards me with more force. Luckily, I dodge in time, and I jump up, but only to berate him.
"You know, you could have said something," I say, my voice harsh and angry to my ears.
He struggles to sit up, but manages, of course. "I don't think you would have heard me, with all that bawling you were doing."
I cross my arms and blow air up to my bangs. He can be such a jerk at times, and I let him know this. He snorts derisively and stands up, brushing himself off and drawing a lock of hair behind an ear, only for it to fall back to where it was before.
In passing I note he's still dead; why isn't this bothering me anymore?
To respond, he favors me with a smile that would shame the Mona Lisa. "Sore wa himitsu desu." That is a secret.
"Sure it is Heero, sure it is. But listen, can't we get out of here? It's getting cold all of a sudden..."
He nods, and holds out his arm, like to escort me somewhere, only his hand is open and palm down. "Then let's go."
In a saner moment, I would have wondered why Heero having a bloody wound at his temple wasn't disturbing me. I had been crying before, because Heero was dead, is dead; so how come, when he's still just as dead, this doesn't affect me? Have I lost all rational thought that it doesn't concern me, and to console myself I've conjured up a seemingly alive Heero Yuy?
I place my hand over his and don't worry about it anymore; I'd rather keep this up anyways.
We walk together towards the door with casual grace, but when we cross the threshold, we exit the room in grand military dress, black with gold braid, tassels, shiny buttons, the works. I glance at Heero, but he doesn't look at me. He stares ahead, looking very much the image of a glorified soldier. But it's a magnificent sight, really, so wonderful, so--
"Stop babbling," he says. He never was any fun, I tell you.
He turns to me and gazes into my eyes, his dark blue, glimmering, shimmering eyes intent on me. He says, "Now," and then draws nearer to me to position himself...
...To dance.
Stupidly, I glance around and just now notice that we're in a big empty spot of nowhere; well, how convenient. So I comply, and put my hand on his shoulder with the other still with his hand. To the tune of a soundless waltz, we begin; one, two three, one, two three. The solemn point of this moment keeps us from speaking, so we merely stare at each other. Despite this sounding incredibly unromantic, it is. Because I can't imagine any other place I would rather be, right now; and I think Heero feels the same way, from the way he's been looking at me.
He nods shortly, then stops moving, causing me to pause as well. He leans in closer, closer; a rich but faint scent of... something familiar wafts at me, but I ignore this. He brushes past my cheek and kisses me by my ear, then says, "Red irony, Duo."
Is he smiling? I move enough to check, and see that he is, but this is a good and genuine smile, one that warms my still chilly body. "But it's almost time to go now."
I blink; time to go? Go where? There's nowhere to go in this place, it's empty and void and--
"Quiet. Don't worry about it. Our time is up anyways." Heero grins. "Been fun, don't you think?"
I've never known him to ever really joke around; in fact, I think that's something he's allergic to. But I can't help but smile back, even if this seems all so out of character.
"Yeah... it's been fun," I respond. And I understand, really. I understand that everything has its ending, and that this is ours. It's not too bad, really, not bad at all. Even if this is a dream, even if this isn't, it's still nice to bear witness, if just for a little while longer.
He shakes his head. "Not really a dream, you know. But, that doesn't matter now." His smile dims quietly, then he hugs me.
Heero says into my ear, "I think I've loved you, Duo."
I smile. "Well Heero, I--"
~end~