Title: Trials & Tribulations
Characters/Pairings: Jason/Trini; Tommy/Kim; Zack Taylor; Billy Cranston
Rating: Strong PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't own them. Can't sue me. You know the deal. I'm not making a profit off of writing this story, so stop wasting my time.
Settings/Classifications: Romance, Drama, Angst, Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, dealing with Self-Harm, Depression
Spoilers/Notes: Set at the tail end of Season 1, after "Return of an Old Friend", in which Tommy returned to the team.
Summary: The usually quiet and reserved Trini has a painful secret and once it's revealed, will she be able to pull herself out of the darkness or will she be lost forever?
Author's note: I was inspired to write this long one shot after I read a story shadowwolfcat wrote called "Always There For You", in which Trini was abusing prescription drugs and hiding it from her friends and family. I wanted to do my own take on a subject that's serious and it's real. I went through something like that in my younger years, so please take this seriously and I hope you enjoy this story, okay?
Enjoy and happy reading!
Lots of love, hugs and kisses from your resident writer and friend, Nina!
X
For the most part, Angel Grove was considered to be one of the safest towns in the state of California. Known for being a relatively small community, Angel Grove was a peaceful place to live, to be able to raise your children and saying hi to your neighbors with a smile on your face.
Yes, Angel Grove was a safe place to live...unless you have to deal with constant monster attacks that have plagued the otherwise seemingly perfect neighborhood.
This day was no different.
A group of teenagers, donning their respective spandex suits, were currently fighting a gang of clay fighters known as putties and so far, they were doing a very good job of taking them out. However, a girl donning the yellow spandex suit wasn't prepared when one of the putties came out of nowhere and kicked her right into her stomach; knocking the wind out of her.
"Oh, God, Trini, are you okay?!" the boy in the red spandex suit asked frantically as he ran right over to his fallen friend; taking out several putties that lunged at him along the way.
She quickly got up and dusted herself off. "I'm fine, Jason. Let's finish these clay brains."
"You got it!" he exclaimed and, sure enough, the putties were disposed off a few minutes later with very little problems.
"Good work, guys. Let's power down," Jason said, smiling through his helmet. Sure enough, the six super-heros powered down and were back in their civilian clothes, looking around to make sure the coast was clear.
"Trini, are you okay? That was some nasty kick that putty delivered to you," Kimberly, the pink ranger said as she went over to Trini and checked to see if everything was okay with the original yellow ranger.
"Guys, I'm fine. Sure, that kick was pretty brutal, but it was nothing I could handle," the raven haired beauty assured her friends with a tainted smile on her face.
"Are you sure? Based on my observation, you nearly hit a tree," Billy, the blue ranger said, looking worried.
"I'm serious, guys, I'm fine! Lay off, will you?!" Trini snapped, getting impatient. The rest of the rangers stood back in fear; quickly realizing that it's not a good idea to get on her bad side, no matter what.
"We're sorry, Trini, we're just worried about you, that's all," Tommy, the green ranger said, holding his hands up in defense.
Trini took a deep breath and calmed down as another tainted smile formed on her face. "No need to worry, okay? Everything's fine with me. I promise you that."
"Okay, well, I better get home. Gotta get my beauty sleep because we do have school tomorrow," Zack, the black ranger said as he stretched his arms out and yawned.
"Oh, shit, I almost forgot we got a pop quiz tomorrow! I better get home and study!" Kimberly exclaimed, slapping her forehead with her hand and looking perplexed.
"You're absolutely correct, Kimberly. I better get home and study myself," Billy agreed, placing his hand on his communicator.
"All right, guys, I'll see you tomorrow," Trini said as six streaks of light disappeared in the night sky, going their separate ways.
Trini teleported to her bedroom room a few seconds later and changed into her pajamas. Just as she was about climb into bed to go to sleep, the unmistakable sounds of her parents yelling and screaming at each other could be heard from downstairs. The original yellow ranger quickly opened the door and sure enough, her parents were right at the top of the stairway; screaming and shouting at each other. Over the last few months, their arguments have gotten more frequent and increasingly violent and Trini had found herself locked inside her bedroom, curling up into a ball on the floor and sobbing hysterically; trying to block out the screams. It had gotten so bad that she ended up doing something she never thought she would do.
Shaking her head and feeling fresh tears brimming in her brown eyes, she closed the door and headed right into the bathroom, cutting on the light and standing right in front of the mirror. With tears streaming down her face, the usually quiet, reserved yellow ranger grabbed a small razor blade off the sink and placed it against her right wrist. With her parents' screaming and yellow still ringing in her ears, she slowly slid the piece of metal right across her skin; watching with satisfaction as blood started seeping out of her wrist. A few seconds later, she did the same thing to her left wrist; cutting it deep enough so that blood was seeping out of her skin.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Trinity Jade Kwan was a cutter. It's been a secret she's been keeping for quite some time and, quite frankly, she didn't care anymore.
Staring at herself in the mirror, she could clearly see that she had become a shell of her former self. Her skin was pale as a ghost, wrinkles were forming on her face, bags were underneath her eyes and her long dark hair was sticking out all over the place. She looked down and saw blood dripping from her wrists to the sink, not bothering to clean herself up. As I mentioned before, she didn't care anymore.
When the arguments finally stopped, she wrapped her wrists tightly with bandages, then she placed her things in their respective hiding places so that her family won't able to find them. After cutting the lights off in the bathroom, she returned to her bedroom and shut the door behind her. She climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up over her body as she laid her head on her pillow. The only sounds you could hear was her heavy breathing as she finally fell asleep.
The next morning, the alarm on the clock went off, causing Trini to groan. She finally woke up, reached over and slammed her hand down on the clock, causing the alarm to stop. Rubbing her tired face with her hands, she sat up in her bed and yawned; not looking forward to another day of school. Speaking of school, she suddenly remembered that she had a pop quiz today and that she didn't study for it. Mentally cursing herself, she slapped her forehead with her hands before quickly climbing out of the bed and grabbing her books off the table, then she began to study, realizing that she didn't have a whole lotta time to go over what she had to do today.
After skimming through her notes, she placed her things down on the desk and began getting ready for school. She couldn't afford to be late, so she decided to skip breakfast; making sure to grab an apple off the table before she left. When she finally got dressed, she gathered her things and walked right out of her bedroom, then she went downstairs in a haste, sweeping past the kitchen and barely noticing her parents sitting at the kitchen table, drinking their coffee and barely paying attention to one another; much less their daughter, who was anxious to get out of here.
"Bye, Mom and Dad. Can't be late for school!" Trini called out as she grabbed an apple off the table and left home. Henry and Jocelyn barely paid attention because they were too busy drinking their coffee to notice their only child left home in a hurry.
It was like they didn't care anymore.
Trini managed to make it to school before the first bell rang. She ran right inside Ms. Grier's classroom and took her place right up in the front of the class. Jason was perplexed to see his friend and teammate barely making it to class because she was usually the first person there before anyone else. As class began, he began taking notice of her demeanor, which troubled him greatly. Her hair wasn't as beautiful and shiny as it used to be, she had bags underneath her eyes and she has the tendency to wear long sleeve shirts more so than before. She also looked pale as a ghost, which only meant one thing:
Something must've happened at home.
The original red ranger just had to get to the bottom of this before it was too late. If Trini was hiding something, she must have a good reason why she's not saying anything.
He's gonna make it his business to confront her by the end of the day.
When the bell rang, class was dismissed, so everyone began filing out of the classroom. Trini needed to get to her next class, but Jason managed to stop her in her tracks once they made it in the hallway.
"Trini, wanna go to the youth center after school?" he asked as he placed his hand on her shoulder to stop her from walking so fast.
"I can't. I have homework to do. Sorry," was all she said before she shrugged his hand off her shoulder and continued walking. When the hallway was empty, he looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was looking before finding an empty corner and pressing down on his communicator.
"Zordon, this is Jason, come in," he whispered.
"JASON, I READ YOU. WHAT'S TROUBLING YOU?"
"It's Trini. Something's wrong with her, but I just can't put my finger on it. I'm afraid something bad has happened to her."
"THIS IS INDEED TROUBLING. MY SENSORS INDICATE THAT TRINI IS INDEED CRYING OUT FOR HELP, BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. FOR NOW, JUST KEEP LOOKING OUT FOR HER. WHEN SHE'S READY TO TELL YOU WHAT'S BOTHERING HER, LET ME KNOW."
"I will, Zordon. Jason, out."
Throughout the rest of the day, Jason kept his promise and continued looking out for Trini. He continued to notice her change in demeanor and even tried to talk to her as they were leaving class, however, she gave him curt, short answers and walked away. Even at lunch, she didn't eat anything but the apple she brought from home and drank a bottle of water. Jason conveyed his findings with the rest of the team and, they, too, were worried greatly for Trini's well-being.
When she got home from school, Trini once again had to witness her parents engaging in another heated verbal exchange. Not wanting to see them going at it once again, she made a bold move: she got right in between them, begging and pleading with them to stop screaming at each other.
However, she would soon learn that meddling in grown folk's business would have dire consequences.
"Mom, Dad, please stop fighting!" Trini screamed, trying to pull them apart.
But, Henry was having none of it and did something he never thought he would do. He raised his hand up and slapped his only daughter right across her face.
Trini was stunned. Jocelyn was stunned. Henry was stunned. The house grew quiet as the three of them stood in the living room. No words were said as Trini held her stinging cheek in her hands. She couldn't believe her father hit her.
Henry, quickly realizing what he had done, tried to reach out to her, but she backed away from him, tears streaming down her face. She ran upstairs to the bathroom and slammed the door, then she immediately grabbed the razor blade out of the cabinet, rolled her sleeves up, ripped the bandages off her arms and started cutting again.
She could hear her mother cursing her father out in Vietnamese downstairs, however, Trini didn't care. She was still hurt from that slap from her father that she was pretty much at the end of her rope. As she finished cutting, she looked at herself in the mirror and knew that she won't be able to hide her despair any longer. She knew Jason and the others were catching on to what was going on, but because she was so quiet, guarded and reserved, she refused to let them in.
And it was like that for the next several weeks.
Jason, in particular, was trying desperately to talk to her, but she refused and walked away from him; always coming up with excuses on why she wouldn't hang out with him. It wasn't until their latest battle with one of Rita's monsters that the cat was finally out of the bag.
After defeating the monster known as the Disciple, the rangers powered down and went their separate ways. Trini was actually on her way home when she tripped over a rock and was about to fall down, however, Jason managed to catch her just in time, causing her breath to catch right into her throat. His face was a mere inches away from hers, which made her heart beat madly.
"Are you okay, Tiger?" he asked as he finally helped her up on her feet.
"I'm fine. Thank you for saving me, Jase. I would've landed on my face had you not gotten there in time," she said, dusting her clothes off with her hands. As she was gathering her composure, however, the wind caused her sleeves to go up; which ended up exposing her bandaged wrists.
"Trini, what the hell happened to your wrists?" he asked immediately as he grabbed her arm gently, but firmly.
"Oh, uh, I spiked the volleyball at little too hard at practice the other day, so that's how I ended up with bruises on my wrists," she lied, trying desperately to get away from him. But, his strong grip on her arm pretty much prevented her from leaving and when he ripped the bandages away from her wrists, she knew she couldn't avoid this forever. The cat was finally out of the bag.
"Y-you've been cutting yourself?" he asked, his voice masking in emotion.
She just lowered her head and allowed fresh tears to fall from her eyes. She didn't say a word.
"How long, Trini? How long have you been hurting yourself?" Jason asked, his own tears started streaming down his face.
"I-I can't tell you," she stammered, feeling defeated.
Suddenly, he looked around to make sure no one was watching, then he raised his communicator up to his lips and contacted Zordon and the others.
"This is Jason. I need everyone to teleport to the command center ASPA. I finally know what's wrong with Trini," he said before ending the communication. With his grip on Trini's arm still firm, red and yellow streaks of light emerged and they ended up teleporting to the command center a few seconds later.
Zack, Billy, Kimberly and Tommy were already there by the time Jason and Trini arrived. They were to shocked to see the leader of the rangers gripping the yellow ranger's arm firmly and even more shocked to find her not struggling to get away from him.
"I know what's wrong with Trini. She's been cutting herself. I saw the cuts and bruises myself as she tripped and almost fell on the concrete ground," he told the rest of the team.
"Trini, is Jason telling the truth? Are you hurting yourself?" Kimberly asked, tears brimming in her brown eyes.
Trini, who kept her head hanging low, didn't have the heart to deny it. She nodded her head slowly as she collapsed on the floor and started crying.
Kimberly kneeled down next to the pretty Vietnamese girl and wrapped her arms around the raved haired girl. Both of them were crying as the guys gathered around them and felt the weight of what Trini just admitted on their shoulders.
"I'm sorry, everyone. I never meant for any of this to happen," Trini sobbed softly as she laid her head on Kimberly's shoulder.
"Trini, how long have you been cutting yourself?" Zack asked, looking solemn.
She wiped her face with her hands and sighed deeply. "A few months. My parents have been fighting a lot and it has taken a toll on me, so I started cutting myself to ease the pain I was feeling. A few weeks ago, I attempted to break up my parents' latest fight when my father slapped me. The cutting just got more and more frequent since then."
"Trini, we had no idea you were feeling this way. But, you didn't have to hurt yourself to ease the pain. You have friends who love you and will do anything to help you," Tommy assured her, placing his hand on her shoulder and squeezing it softly.
"I know, but I just didn't wanna burden you with my problems. I'm sorry if I caused any more damage to you guys," she said, her voice masking with so much emotion.
Jason leaned over and kissed her forehead gently, shocking her. "Don't worry, Tiger. We're gonna help you get through this. We're gonna have to tell your parents about this and hopefully, you guys can get some much needed help."
Trini looked up at him, a tainted smile forming on her face. "I know. Maybe after telling them what I've been doing, they can see the light."
"And, like Jason said, we're gonna help you get through this. We're more than power rangers; we're a family and we love you," Billy said with a soft smile on his face.
"I love you, guys, too," she replied and it wasn't long before they ended up in a group hug.
Realizing that she's gonna have to tell her parents the truth about what she did, Trini got up off the floor and began gathering her composure. Jason laid his hand on her shoulder; silently letting her know that he'll be there with her every step of the way and that he won't leave her side. Smiling at him, she was grateful for him as they teleported out of the command center and landed right in front of her house.
"I'm scared, Jason. I don't know what's gonna happen," she replied, breathing heavily as they approached her front door.
"Don't worry, Tiger. I'll be there with you every step of the way," he assured her, squeezing her shoulder gently to empathize his point. After taking another deep breath, they finally went inside.
When Trini finally told her parents about her cutting, needless to say, they were shocked. Jocelyn broke down and cried while Henry looked guilt ridden and ashamed. They truly had no idea that their frequent arguing (and Henry slapping Trini) would affect her so much that she ended up harming herself. Now that they know the truth, they can take the necessary steps to heal...as a family.
"Trini, we're gonna get through this. I mean, we're really gonna get through this together. Your father and I decided it would be a good idea for us to get some therapy because we should've paid more attention to what was going on with you," Jocelyn said as she sat by Trini on the sofa and wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders.
"You really mean that?" Trini asked softly, her brown eyes sparkling with hope.
"We do, baby. We're so sorry for putting you through our problems. And I'm especially sorry for hitting you. I was just so stressed out about my job and I took it out on you, which I had no right to do," Henry said as he too sat next to her on the sofa and took both his daughter and his wife's hands into his.
"We're gonna be okay, aren't we?" Trini asked, smiling for the first time in a while.
The Kwans hugged each other; which let the original yellow ranger know that everything will be okay from here on out.
Therapy proved to be a godsend for all three of them. Not only did therapy brought them closer as a family, but Trini was able to find a more healthy outlet of her feelings by keeping a journal. Furthermore, since she started therapy, her demeanor had changed, only this time, it was for the better. She looked more vibrant, renewed and had a reason to smile every single day. Her friends, especially Jason, was so elated to have the old Trini back. And they kept their promise of always being there for her, no matter what.
One day, after finishing up her latest therapy session, Trini was pleasantly surprised to find Jason waiting for her in the parking lot. He asked her to go for a walk in the park with him because he has something very important to tell her. Well, she couldn't turn down such a nice invitation from the original red ranger and agreed to his request. Together, they walked side by side, enjoying the peace and tranquility of the gorgeous park and enjoying each other's company.
"Jason, did I ever thank you for being there for me and for finally figuring out what was wrong with me?" Trini asked as she stopped walking and stood right in front of him, causing him to stop in his tracks.
"No, I don't think you did. But, I just want you to know that if the situation was reversed, you'd do the exactly same thing," he told her with that million dollar smile flashing in her eyes.
She giggled softly as she reached over and cupped his face in her hands. "Well, I thank you for being the greatest guy I've ever known. And this is my way of saying 'thanks'."
He was absolutely floored when she pulled him down for a kiss. Never in a million years did he think he would be kissed by the beautiful Vietnamese girl, but as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, any awkwardness he may have felt went right out the window as he responded eagerly by wrapping his strong arms around her waist and reveled in feeling her soft lips pressing against his.
When air became a problem, the reluctantly pulled apart. Trini laid her head on his shoulder and sighed deeply as Jason kissed the top of her head gently and tightened his arms around her.
"I love you, Trini. I don't know when it happened or how it happened, but I do love you," he confessed, causing her to smile brightly at his declaration.
"I love you, too, Jason. I couldn't have made it through without you being there for me," she replied, tears brimming in her eyes.
"Hey, hey, what's with the tears, Tiger?" he asked, looking concerned as he placed his finger underneath her chin and lifted her head up so he could look at her.
"No, these are good tears. I'm just so happy to be alive. For months, I've been carrying the pain deep in my heart and I thought I was never gonna get out of the darkness, but somewhere deep inside, I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel. If it wasn't for you being persistent, I would've kept hurting myself," she confessed.
"Never, Tiger. I would never give up on you; no matter how hard you push me away. I'm glad to have the old Trini back," he said, flashing another million dollar smile that made her eyes sparkle with delight.
"And I'm glad you didn't. You never gave up on me, Jason. Thanks to you and your undying love and support, my family and I are closer than ever," she said, smiling from ear to ear.
He leaned over and captured her lips with his again; savoring the fullness of her mouth as they embraced in the middle of the park. Little did they know, eight pairs of eyes were watching the whole thing unfold while hiding behind a nearby bush; smiling brightly. They were so happy to see the original red and yellow rangers finding their way to each other and realizing that they feelings ran much deeper than they thought. Zack, Kimberly, Tommy and Billy couldn't be more grateful.
"You guys might as well come out from wherever you're hiding at. I do have eyes in the back of my head, you know," Jason teased when he and Trini pulled apart.
Realizing that they have been caught, the foursome came out of the bushes and approached the couple, looking sheepish and ashamed, but still smiling because they were happy for Jason and Trini getting their act together and much happier that Trini's in a much better place.
"So, how long have you been hiding behind the bushes?" Trini playfully scolded.
Kimberly blushed slightly as she buried her face against Tommy's shirt. "Not too long. We're happy for you guys, by the way."
"I think I speak for all of us when I say we're happy for you guys. And, Trini, we're so happy to have the old you back," Tommy said, wrapping his arms around Kim and kissing her forehead gently.
Trini smiled as she snuggled close to Jason's side. "Thank you, guys. I couldn't have done it without you."
"Aw, Trini, we absolutely love you. And when one of us is hurting, we're all hurting. We're just glad to see you being healthy and happy again," Zack beamed as he leaned over and kissed her cheek lightly.
"I concur with what Zack's saying. We're just happy to have you back. I mean, who else could translate whatever I'm babbling about most of the time?" Billy joked good-naturedly as he leaned over and hugged her.
"Thank you so much, guys. I love each and every one of you," Trini told them, smiling through her tears.
As the six friends walked through the park, laughing and having fun with each other, Trini took the time to reflect on everything she's been through. Even in the face of adversity, she has rose through the ashes with the love and support of her friends, who have been a constant rock in her life. And, as she looked up at the boy who's been a godsend to her, the boy she loves the most, he winked at her and squeezed her hand gently; mouthing the words 'I love you' to her as they walked side by side.
Through trials and tribulations, victory and defeat, success and failure, triumph and tragedy...
Trinity Jade Kwan has truly shined.
The End!
Thank you very much for taking the time out of your busy lives to read this story! And, please be aware that this kind of thing does happen in real life, so please, take care of yourself, love yourself and always remember, you are not alone!
Oh, and please make sure to read my new one shot Kissing Experiment when you get the chance! And, new chapter of At Every Turn will be posted soon, so be on the lookout for it!
Please review!