Dinosaur Ballad
The stage was swept, points marked, lights down, and the excitement so tangible Trevor could taste it through the perfume and paint fumes. Tonight was the night. He smacked one of the passing chorus girls on the ass and gave a thumbs up to the stage operator, tugging down the jacket of his tuxedo and grinning at the curtain.
Three
The choreographer gave the signal and the girls jostled into position, bumping masks and trying to muffle their squeals. Trevor sauntered to center stage, glancing over at the pit conductor, who nodded in return and raised his hands in warning.
Two
The music began, softly at first, gradually building to full dynamic and temp. He took his pose, unfocusing his eyes so they wouldn't be blinded when the lights went up. The director nodded to the engineer, and the backing curtains began to draw to the side, leaving only the ornamentals obscuring the performers on the stage from the audience. The applause had already started, intermingled with whistles and the occasional scream. Trevor rolled his shoulders, took his stance, and waited.
One
The lights went up, the curtains drew back, and the applause became deafening. The ladies started their first run down the staircases, perfectly timed steps keeping their head-gear untangled. The spotlights flared, and Trevor spun out in to the light, hat and cane in hand, as two of the raptor-ladies pranced to his side and each took an arm. He breathed in deep, winked at the one to his right, and belted.
"I'll only spit this once, so I better take this slow-"
"Trevor, what the actual fuck?"
For a moment, everything was horribly, horribly crystal clear. He stared down at Zach from the top of the banister, arms spread wide, right hand clutching a wrapping paper tube, the other around the shoulders of an imaginary velociraptor chorus girl, powder pink bunny slippers on his feet and his old Paige suit jacket tugged down over his boxers. Zach just stared back. Trevor's brain caught up with the situation and he let out an involuntary squawk, lost his balance and, panicking, launched himself back toward the wall in a desperate attempt not to tumble off the second story. He slammed into the wall, clutching at the railing for support, frantically trying to plant himself on the floor. Something slipped out from under him, and his fell backward, feet flying up above his head, body tumbling down with a stream of candy canes and Christmas trees flying out behind him.
When it was over, Trevor didn't open his eyes for quite some time. He vaguely felt wood floor beneath his cheek, and let out a garbled moan when he tried to roll over.
"Um, Trevs, you okay there?"
He cracked an eye open. Zach was standing above him, expression caught somewhere between worry and vague amusement. Trevor liked to think it was mostly worry. He groaned and opened both eyes to glare up at his friend.
"Not a word."
Zach snorted and crouched down to pull him up, ignoring his pathetic sounds of protest.
"That's it. We're doing a rap."