So like... I found the edit button on the documents. Wee. (I'm getting a kitten. :3)
I had been thinking, for the longest time. 'Ravenpaw, you need to be a warrior and fight this battle!" I did fight. I fought as hard as I could to control myself and remain calm around him. Then, after moons of clawing at myself from the inside of my heart, I realized it wasn't a battle at all. I'm in love, not war.
"Barley." I prodded the long-haired tom's side. He let out a groan of protest and rolled over to face me.
"Morning." He mumbled. I offered a smile as he stretched his legs. "You look like you've been busy." He meowed a little louder, pointing to the two plump squirrels on the ground next to us.
"Yeah." I replied self-consiously. He purred and grabbed one to bite into.
"Thanks." Barley stretched out in the patch of sun to fill his tummy. I sat eating my squirrel, occasionally stealing glances at him.
"Barley." I began, not realizing I was speaking. The black and white tom looked up from his squirrel. "Yes, Ravenpaw?" He asked.
I snapped back to reality. My mouth wanted badly to form the words 'I love you.' But I fought it. "Nothing. Never mind."
"Really, what is it?" Why does he have to be so concerned. It's cute. I looked down awkwardly at my prey.
"Nothing. I just wanted to know if you ever loved anyone..." I lied. I lied, and asked an obvious, stupid question at the same time. I'm the stupidest cat on the planet.
Barley nodded and looked past me at some far away memory that he seemed quite fond of. A chill ran up my spine, would he ever be able to love me if he loved some she-cat...?
"Yes. I loved a cat. A long time ago, but this cat was over taken with evil. I loved this cat when there was no evil in it. It changed too much, though. I feared for my life around this cat. So I fled." Why does he keep saying 'This cat' and 'it'? Was it a tom? Hope flared up in my chest like a wildfire.
"What was the cat's name?" I asked quietly, secretly scared of the answer. Barley looked me in the eye for a moment and turned his head away. He took in a deep, shaky breath. The only thing I wanted to do was curl up around him and tell him not to think of the past. He has someone who loves him right here.
"Scourge." The tom muttered. My eyes widened in shock. There was no way he loved Scourge, no way in all hell.
"The Scourge that killed Tigerstar?" I couldn't help but ask.
Barley nodded solemly. He got up and padded out of the barn. I tried, but I could not move. Instead of confusion or sympathy, my chest filled itself with rage. 'He can love an evil, ambitious, treacherous, tom. But not me?' Thoughts like this pulsed through my mind for what seemed like moons. Until sundown. I noticed that Barley had not returned.
All thoughts of rage or hatred emptied out of me like nothing. "Barley?" I called in alarm. 'What if something's happened?' I panicked. I ran out of the barn and opened my mouth letting all the scents flood into my nose. Only one caught my attention;
Blood. Barley's blood.
This was fun! Me and Addi are getting a little kitten! I want to name it something cute but he wants to name it something morbid. -_-'