Disclaimer/Foreword:I continue to disclaim ownership of any Fallout 3 characters which are Bethesda's property, with the possible exception of my own character/s. This excerpt is loosely based on one of Garrett Haze's first adventures, and is one that is partially responsible for his development. This is a work of fan-fiction which mostly follows the main quest line, with some side-quests and various adventures along the way. The initial tale of Garrett's life in the Vault as well as many other key moments in the original game's quest-line are the same, with some details altered, and new characters of my own imagining added in . I must mention that this is just an excerpt, not a prologue of any sort, and it is written in a somewhat different style to the rest of the fic that I am currently working on. I love the Fallout series and I hope that other fans of the games enjoy this excerpt, however this excerpt was written for (mostly) practice. I do plan on writing more, but I want some feedback first which is why I am posting on . I already know the character development, POV, flow and tense of my writing needs work, but I would like to know what others think of it so let me know if it was an enjoyable read.
Author's Note:I have some seriously screwed up stuff going on in this little excerpt. It's rated M for a reason. Not much cursing, but some violence and a bit of gore. Of course this is after all, a Fallout 3 fan-fiction isn't it? So get ready for some violence, gore, some swearing, maniacs, cannibals, annoying-red-haired-women-with-Minnesota-accents-and-mustaches! This will be great! Or it'll suck, I'll let you decide.
After leaving the Commons of Megaton I made my way to Craterside Supply to load up on some supplies and try to soak up as much info about Megaton as I could. I'd already heard a lot from the Sheriff of the town, one Lucas Simms. He'd told me all about the Atom Bomb in the towns center, and how he'd like very much for someone to disarm the bitch. I told him to give me a little time and I could disarm it for him. He was fairly surprised, but I could tell he was suspicious. Simms asked me why I would do that for the town, and I told him I just needed some info on Megaton and more importantly my missing father. He told me he'd give me some caps and the information I needed once I disarmed his time bomb. I offered my hand to him and he gladly took it, struck by surprise again at my kind manners and helpful nature. I was pretty well-mannered back then, not so much anymore. Life in the Wastes'll do that to a kid. I'm still a relatively nice guy, kind of a wise-ass maybe, but still nice. I headed down the walkway from the Commons and around the corner to the door to Craterside Supply.
Moira Brown was the owner and shopkeeper of the place, and she greeted me in a very friendly way before I made it clear I was looking to barter with her. Her voice was quite irritating, but she had good wares. She had a proposition for me as well, told me all about a book she was writing, "The Wasteland Survival Guide". She asked me if I would help her out a bit by telling her what I could about what my life was like in Vault 101. I told her how I felt, least how I felt back then.
"Well life was great really. I had a great friend, my best friend actually. Her name was Amata. There was good food, clean water and most everyone was friendly to me. Except for that jackass Butch of course. Anyway like I said everything was great, until my dad left."
Moira looked kind of heartbroken to be honest.
"Oh I'm so sorry about that! I wish I could help you, I've seen lots of runaway dads but none of 'em had a big "101" on their backs."
Moira soon brightened up and told me more about her book. She thanked me for being such a great help to her already, but she was hoping I might help her some more. She told me she'd make it worth my while of course; caps, supplies, ammo all of it for just helping her out with her "guide". I told her that I'd help her as long as she could pay me. After all I needed to find my father and I figured out quick that I would need a few things, what passed for currency around here was at the top of my list of needs. She assured me the work would be worth it, so I told her I would help. She gave me a few tasks which she called "chapters". She needed three things completed, and she let me choose which one I wanted to do first. Moira told me the first task for her first chapter was the closest. I needed to head to a store nearby called the Super Duper Mart. She wanted me to see if I could find food there, and as an extra, but optional objective I could also try to find some medical supplies. I of course, always the straight A student had to find the medicine as well. I knew that I needed all the supplies and caps I could get if I was going to find my father, and Moira said she'd give me a greater reward if I completed both tasks for the chapter.
Since the other two jobs I needed to do for Moira's book were either too far away, and/or far too dangerous I decided to head to the Super Duper Mart. Unfortunately I didn't have many caps when I got to Moira, and even though I had near-on a hundred after I sold her everything I needed to, I still couldn't afford much in the way of supplies. I had around thirty 10mm rounds on me and about fifty BB pellets, and after I bought more I ended up with around fifty-five 10mm rounds. I walked away from the store with some more water, a little more food, at least three Stimpaks, twenty-five 10mm rounds, and a nice medium-sized bag of medical supplies. All-in-all it came out to a pretty decent haul. I headed down the walkway toward the only entrance and exit for Megaton. I was headed for the small town of Springvale, and then onto the Super Duper Mart.
I cringed slightly as I heard the large metal door of Megaton close behind me. I knew I'd left the relative safety of a town once again to venture out into the unknown. I tried to muster up some kind of strength, but I had to face the facts; I was just a kid in a new and terrible world trying to find his father. Even though the cynical, pessimistic voice of my conscious told me I had no chance in hell, I would cling to the hope of finding my father; until I died or was given undeniable proof that he was dead, I would keep searching. I took my time walking down the cracked rubble and asphalt that passes for a road in this place, and headed toward the rusted metal rocket I could see just over the short cliff side next to the road. I knew the rocket well, it was the first landmark I'd ever seen since I'd left the vault.
"Just a little further and I can stop for a smoke," I said to myself.
I'd taken to smoking when I was around sixteen and back at the vault. It was a pain to hide it from dad, but what can I say I got addicted. Cigarettes are much easier to find out in the Wastes, you can buy a few packs or even a carton off of almost any merchant. They're damned expensive, but I learned back in the vault, where they were more of a rarity, to make 'em last.
I got around the bend and saw the first town I ever laid my eyes on, Springvale. It was fairly deserted, in fact I hadn't seen anyone but a traveling caravan pass through once. Someone in Megaton had mentioned to me that a woman named Silver lived in one of the ranches near the playground across from where I stood. They said she was a whore and a junkie, so I figured I'd stay away from her, as I already had plenty to deal with. I had a mission to do and after my smoke break I would head to the Super Duper Mart. After I placed the cigarette into my mouth I produced my lighter from a pocket on my vault suit. Just as I went to light it I felt something cold and wet drop onto my head. I looked up to see a light blue and gray sky filled with clouds. As I wondered what the hell was happening, I recalled a book that my father gave me back in the vault, it was about weather patterns or some shit. Then I remembered it mentioning "rain", water droplets produced in clouds and dropped from the sky. I found it quite interesting back them, but now the clouds overhead were darkening, and the drops were dropping more frequently. I looked around to try and find shelter, I thought about heading back to Megaton, but I didn't think I'd have enough time to get back before the hellish storm that was coming washed my ass away.
I knew the storm was gonna be bad, the clouds were almost black and then a roaring crackle rang through the sky. It was dangerously loud and I nearly fell over when I heard it for the first time. My heart was beating so fast I thought it might explode in my chest. It had to be the loudest thing I had ever heard, and by far the most terrifying. Now I knew I had no choice, but to seek the nearest shelter. Just my luck that all the houses around me were roofless. There were two ranches nearby that looked decent enough so I started to head to the nearest one. After I headed forward toward the ranch next to the playground I looked to my right as I heard another loud crackle and saw a huge bolt of light across the sky. Didn't think it was possible for my heart to beat any faster, but sure enough. I noticed that below the area where the light had struck was a school. Now I had some different choices: enter one of the houses or go for the school. I thought to myself maybe just maybe there might have been some worthwhile salvage in the school; some supplies, guns maybe. Pre-War books were more likely, and seeing as how I adored (and still do actually) those books I had to check it out. Lemme just say, this was one of the most idiotic things I have ever done, and that's saying a lot. Course there was no way I could know what was inside, but it doesn't matter, I'm still a dumbass for going inside that damned school.
I ran under the small ledge held by falling pillars above the doors just as the storm started pouring down on me like a god-damned hurricane. I knew there was no turning back.. I headed into the Springvale Elementary School; back then I remember thinking how harmless looking it was. Yeah sure, like anything in the Wasteland is harmless. Back then I was like a too-curious little kid in this world of wonder, but unfortunately my innocence didn't last long. It was very dark once I passed through the double doors, so I turned on my Pipboy light, and was shocked by the huge steel cage in the middle of the entry hall. As I stood there wondering to myself just what the hell it was doing there I shined my light on the answer. Blood on the floor leading around a pillar on the side of the cage. I cautiously moved around the left-side, the pillar ended at the edge of the cage near what seemed to be a door. I slowly brought up my light from the ground to rest on the floor of the cage, where I saw a pool of dried blood and a dead man. I knelt down and tried to reach my hand through the bars to make sure he was dead. I knew he was, but doesn't hurt to check right? I tried to look in the closest of his pockets I could reach, hoping to find something that might tell me who the poor bastard was, I instead found two lockpicks. I stood from the floor and tucked away the lockpicks in the pocket with my smokes. Just then I heard the sound of a loud but muffled voice behind me. It sounded as though it came from the door directly behind me, and even though I was fairly knew to the dangers of the Wasteland I knew quite a bit about it from the citizens of Megaton; not knowing whether this person was a maniac or not I decided to turn off my light and creep over to the door. I opened the door very slowly and only a crack, and as I peered through I thanked myself for being cautious with the light thing because I had the "fortune" to run into Raiders.
Two Raiders were standing near a doorway across the hall, the male Raider was talking loudly about the female Raider getting her job done, something about meat getting chopped. I couldn't hear everything the Raiders were saying because of some strange noises that seemed to be coming from the room behind the female Raider. The voice was muffled, but I could swear they were pleading and crying, and by the sound of it the person was a woman. The male Raider suddenly gave a loud grunt and pushed the female Raider out of the way. He walked quickly into the room and I could hear him yelling obscenities at someone, this is what I could hear him say,
"Bitch SHUT-up!"
There was a loud slapping noise and in a slightly calmer, but very menacing voice the Raider continued, "I don't appreciate you interrupting me missy, you see I was trying to lecture my employee over there, when you started mumbling. Not very nice of you, no...,"
I could feel my eyes widening as the muffled yells turned into crying screams. The screams, though muffled, became hysterically louder and I could hear the Raider yelling, "NOT," a loud noise rang out like something slamming on a table before he continued yelling, "VERY" another slam, "NICE!"
I was shaking slightly at that point, getting increasingly worried as the time passed. I realized that the slamming noise sounded more like a knife on a chopping board. I shivered at the thought. The chopping noise continued for a short while and the maniacal butcher continued to repeat his words between chops. After a very short time I was relieved to hear that the muffled screams had stopped, and the male Raider was now mumbling to himself. The chopping must have gone on for at least three minutes before the muffled screams stopped, and all the while the female Raider had been just standing there in the doorway grinning, like a fucking maniac.
After the three minutes that felt like years were finally up, I heard the male Raider drop something on the table and walk toward the doorway. I almost gave up my position, but instead I stopped breathing at the sight of him. The man was caked in his victim's blood, it was all over his chest with splatter on his face, but the most of it was on his hands and sleeves. I wanted to throw up, but luckily I still couldn't breathe. You might be thinking "Now might be the time to run stupid!", but I was frozen still in shock, and I couldn't feel my legs. The male Raider stood there with a very calm expression on his bloody face, a dead calm. It was inexplicable I thought to myself before letting out a silent breath of air, I think if I had waited any longer to breathe I might've asphyxiated myself.
The male Raider looked to the female Raider, with that dead calm expression of his before saying,
"Seems I did your job for you, but that's alright guess I needed to show you how things are done around here. So...did you learn anything?"
He looked intensely at the female Raider and she said, still grinning "I sure did boss. But boss? I was just wondering...what should I do now that I have no one to practice on?"
He looked casually down the hall before saying,
"Well we might try to grab that bitch Silver in that ranch up the road later tonight", he turned his head to her and laid his intense eyes on her before he spoke again this time in a harsh voice,
"I'll be sure to let the boys know that she's yours to play with," then he, very unexpectedly, broke into a wicked grin and chuckled a bit.
To be quite honest, seeing as I was a rookie back then, I felt like pissing myself at that very moment. I started to back away from the door, but the idiot that I am I rushed and kicked my boot against the door frame. It wasn't too loud, but that crazy son-of-a-bitch heard it and his grin disappeared as quick as it came as his piercing eyes landed on the door.
I had half-a-second to decide what to do. Bolt for the door and loose them in a terrible storm, or start shooting. I had no idea how many Raiders could be, but a yell from these fucks and this maniac scared me to death as it was so I decided to run for Megaton. Unfortunately that insane Raider was one fast bastard and opened the door just as I turned to run from it. He grabbed me by my vault suit collar and spun me around, he was so close I could feel his hot breath on my face. It took only seconds for me to notice the bloody blade snuggled against my throat. I looked at the bastard, anger in my eyes trying to look fearless, but I had a feeling he saw right through me. The Raider looked at me with such intensity that I could swear I felt my heart skip a few beats.
"Hello son, aren't you just a fine treat? My name is Skinner, WELCOME to our fine establishment. And you are?" Skinner's head tilted slightly and he let the question hang in the air before subtly tightening his grip on my suit's collar.
I should mention that even then I found all Raiders disgusting and, being as murderously insane as they are, quite frightening in their own right; however this "man" was an entirely new animal. It daunted on me that Skinner hadn't taken his eyes off of me or changed his expression once since he grabbed me. My heart caught in my throat, and I felt as though if I broke his gaze I might die. His grip on me tightened so I decided to answer,
"I...I'm...Gar...Garrett." I stumbled to get out those simple words.
I did, at least try to regain some composure, but for the life of me I couldn't muster up any courage. Skinner's grip loosened slightly as he asked,
"Well, Garrett I must say I rather like your name. I also like you're...," Skinner stopped mid sentence and moved slightly away from me as his gaze slowly took me in, "your look."
He smirked and looked at the female Raider who had been standing next to him almost the entire time.
"Gem, do you mind emptying out one of the classrooms for me and our," he turned his steely gaze back at me before continuing, "guest?"
He added with a tinge of harshness in his calm voice, "Make sure it's a room with no current "guests", and tell any boys occupying it to clear out. I have some business to take care of here and I don't want an audience. Will you do that for me sugar?"
Gem grinned without showing any teeth, and I tried to hide my shivering as she spoke, "Yes of course boss, whatever you need." She turned and away she went, partially skipping with her hands behind her, back down the hall.
Exiting Notes: Very short preview of my fic, I know. I need lots of writing practice, but I'm a procrastinator so don't expect anything from me too soon. Do let me know what you think of the excerpt, and of my invented characters. Do they fit into the world of FO3? Was it somewhat exciting to read? Violent enough for you? Like I said this is just an excerpt and it needs a LOT of work. Not a lot of talking stuff I know, I wanted to add more in between Garrett and Moira, and I will later on. Need to start the actual story now XD
Please tell what I can do to make things better? I have some guide stuff for writing I need to work on, but I am hoping to get some real feedback from other writers here on fanfiction. I have never uploaded any of my writings before so go a little easy on me will you?