Chapter 1 - If There's Something Strange in Your Neighborhood
Life treated Fiddleford McGucket with great kindness lately.
Over the summer, the former town kook regained his memories after learning that a secret society had erased them. He, alongside Dipper and Mabel Pines, Soos Ramirez, and Wendy Corduroy, dismantled the memory-erasing cult and brought back some stability to Gravity Falls. When the world seemed like it was on the brink of collapse, Fiddleford was given the resolve to fight back by building a giant robot out of the Mystery Shack to rescue the captured citizens. There he and Ford shared a sentimental reunion and after Weirdmageddon was eradicated, the two began to rebuild their friendship. Ford visited Fiddleford in his junkyard shed to catch up, and when the six-fingered researcher told his friend about his plans to sail around the world with his twin brother, Fiddleford whipped up a mix CD of about twenty different songs Fiddleford played on his Banjo (ranging from country classics to filk songs from their DD&MD campaigns and a side of bluegrass).
Fiddleford also worked to restore his relationship with his estranged son, Tate McGucket. He reached out to his son with the desire to be a better father, and his son happily welcomed him back into his life. The eccentric inventor also listened to Ford's advice on submitting his patents to the United States government, who graciously bought them for tens of millions of dollars. With that money he was able to buy the first shed he saw: Northwest Manor, which was put up for sale by the previous owners after losing a majority of their fortunes investing in 'weirdness bonds'. Fiddleford bought the home and happily christened his new abode as McGucket's Hootenany Hut.
The manor took some getting used to at first. The enormous halls and vast number of rooms made it difficult for Fiddleford to navigate the estate on his own. He ended up getting lost twice and had to call Tate and the police to find his way around (and even the cops had trouble finding their way through the manor!). But after a month of living in the splendid mansion, Fiddleford and Tate turned it into their own home. Tate moved his belongings from his humble shack in the woods over to the manor. Fiddleford purchased some furniture to give the place some personality. He placed many paintings, ranging from pictures of raccoons to a portrait of a character from an anime Soos introduced to him.
Since the manor was too big for two people, Fiddleford and Tate opened up their doors to anyone who needed a place to stay. Melody, Soos's lovely girlfriend, had moved from Portland to work as the assistant manager of the Mystery Shack to work alongside her beau (and finally putting her bachelor's degree in business to good use!). While Melody was worried about finding a reasonably priced apartment, Soos suggested that she could live out in one of the rooms of the manor. A few other residents in town also made their home in the manor, including The Hand Witch, The Dipper Clones (now addressed as Tracey and Quattro), former U.S. President Quentin Trembley. Fiddleford also shared many visitors, from Sheriff Blubbs and Deputy Durland to Shmebulock.
But as Fiddleford settled into the manor, he was about to discover a handful of not-so-friendly visitors.
It was a calm September evening. Fiddleford and Tate prepared chicken stew, using the family recipe. They invited some friends over to stay. Multibear, the manotaurs, and shmebulock were seated at the table. Tracy, Quattro and Quentin Trembley had set up the table with nice-looking plates and silverware. Even though they two paper clones could not consume any food or liquids because of their fragile conditions, they were happy to be among friends and glad to help around the house. Fiddleford and Tate emerged from the kitchen and brought out a wonderful meal for their guests. The McGuckets set out a wonderful buffet of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, sweet peas, carrots, broccoli, green beans, and corn. As they set the food on the table, Fiddleford smiled at Tate, happy to have his son back in his life and reconstructing their relationship. Tate looked up at his father and gave him a warm smile of his own. The younger McGucket was glad to see his father so healthy and happy again.
Just as the McGuckets were finished setting up the table, Melody entered the dining room. The young woman completed another busy day at the Mystery Shack, helping Soos run the tourist trap as the official assistant manager. She was wearing her dark green question mark T-Shirt which was once worn by Soos, jeans, and a black baseball cap.
"Hey everyone!" Melody greeted with a smile. The rest of the guests returned with a "Hi Melody!" or "What's Up?"
"So how was work today Melody?" Tate asked.
"Work was really interesting," She answered. "Soos and I have been brainstorming some new attraction ideas to put up before Halloween."
"I'd like to hear 'em!" Fiddleford answered. "I can pitch in and whip up some mechanical critter of some sort that won't cause destruction!"
Melody chuckled as she found her seat between Multibear and Shmebulock, completely unphased by the supernatural weirdness of the town. "Well Soos hired you as his part-time handyman for a reason." She turned toward Tate and asked, "How was your day at the Bait and Tackle?"
"Oh, just another day of work and what not. Another fulfilling day for a simple man such as myself." Tate answered. He pulled up his chair and seated himself next to his father.
Fiddleford scanned the dinner table, eager to see the wonderful friends he made. A cheerful ambiance had filled the room. For the first time in a long time, Fiddleford was surrounded by family and friends in a home he called his own. There was nothing that could dampen his spirits now. "Welp! Now that everyone's here, I reckon it's time ta dig in!"
Just as everyone was about to eat, ominous cackling entered the room.
Tate suspiciously looked around the room. "Did anyone else hear that?"
The pleasant dinner was interrupted when a group of spherical ghosts arrived on the scene. The gaggle of ghosts charged and the dinner table, causing everyone to evacuate towards the other side of the dining room. They all watched in horror and mild disgust as the ghosts were devouring the food and the plates.
"What are those things…" Tate asked aloud.
"I believe they're category three ghosts," Tracey answered. Everyone looked at the clone, awaiting for a detailed explanation when he shot everyone an annoyed expression. "That's kind of all I know. I started to read about ghosts in my clone of journal three, but I left it out in the rain and it's now wet, crumpled up paper."
"Then how are we going to defeat those ghosts?" Multibear wondered.
"I'll settle this!" Quentin exclaimed. The former president bravely marched towards the ghosts. Once he arrived at the table, he put up a fighting stance. But one of the ghosts picked him up and threw him across the room until he collided against an exquisite portrait of a raccoon. The others gasped in shock as the politician slowly slid down the wall until he landed on the ground.
To everyone's surprise, Quentin held up his hand in the air. "I'm alright!"
Melody decided to act quickly. She grabbed a chair and threw it at one of the ghosts. But the chair went through the ghost, who grabbed the furniture and decided to chomp down on it. "Aw man, I thought for sure that would work. She said in defeat.
"Is there any hope left in this world?" One of the manotaurs cried.
Fiddleford looked at the ghosts with a hard frown. He was a kind soul who welcomed anyone inside his home with open doors. But he had a limit for rude party-goers who wanted to cause a raucous. And these ghosts simply had to go.
Fiddleford approached the ghosts and made a stance. "Listen up fellers!" He yelled. The man took his hands and began aggressively hamboning at the specters. With each aggressive slap across his thighs, arms, and head, the apparitions looked more and more nervous. When Fiddleford completed his cryptic message the ghosts scrambled from the dinner table and out of the room.
Tate stared at his father in bewilderment. "Dad, what did you say to them?"
"Well Tater Tot, I jus' told them that wasn't any dessert!" Fiddleford answered with a grin.
Tate shook his head. "Well do you think that they'd come back?"
"If my hambonin' did the trick, then I'm sure that this ghost invasion will simply be an isolated incident an' nothin' similar will ever occur in the near future!"
"Well Dad, I hope your right."
But the McGuckets could not be further from the truth.
About a week had gone by and the manor seemed to return to a sense of peace and tranquility. One night, Fiddleford was swaying on his rocking chair near the fireplace calmly plucking his banjo. He was dressed in a warm red sweater Ford gave to him before he and Stan embarked on their sailing expedition.
Tate joined his father on the couch.
"Ow!" Tate yelped, as he got up from his seat.
Fiddleford paused his playing and placed his banjo aside. "What's wrong Tate?" He asked concernedly.
"Someone placed some tacks on the couch!" He grumbled as he comforted his behind. "Who would do something like this?"
A childish giggle echoed throughout the living room, providing a vague answer to his inquiry.
"Tracey, Quattro, is that you?" Fiddleford hollered.
"Guess again!" The voice replied. Soon two water balloons were launched at the McGuckets and hit them square in their faces. As they tried to make sense of what was happening, the ghost of a little girl appeared. She was wearing a ruffled blue dress and black shoes. Her hair was a golden curled bob, which delicately framed her head. The girl chuckled at the two men, wearing a devilish grin.
"Dagnabbit!" Fiddleford hissed.
"Come back here!" Tate barked at the ghost.
"Try and catch me, bimbos!" The girl retaliated.
The father and son chased the ghost out of the living room and through the hallway. The ghost was fast, but Fiddleford and Tate were determined to keep up. Once the ghost flew through the door to one of the rooms.
They went inside the room only to find it empty. Fiddleford and Tate inspected the drawers and under the bed to find the prankster ghost.
"So I bought an Italian car. I turned on the radio, and I can't understand a word they're sayin'!" An older voice remarked, causing both men to jump up. The McGuckets turned to find the ghost of an old man, with bugged out eyes and a bulbous nose, wearing a suit.
"So I see ya just moved here, huh? Well there goes the neighborhood!" The ghost humored. "That reminds me, when I was a kid, my folks moved a lot, but I always found 'em!"
Fiddleford chuckled. "That's a good one. Now what's yer name?"
"The name's Roger!" The ghost piped up, happy to be acknowledged.
Tate, on the other hand, groaned with exasperation. He did not want to put up with another ghost today, especially one attempting stand-up comedy. "Will you get out of here!?" He shouted as he threw a pillow at the ghost, who was quick to dodge the soft object.
"Wow, tough crowd tonight." The ghost remarked while adjusting his collar. "Well, I better come up with some better material then!"The apparition made a stage-left exit by floating straight into the left-side wall of the bedroom.
The McGuckets looked at each other, adjusting to the fact that there were more ghosts in the house than they would have liked.
"So how long do you think it'll take before another ghost appears." Tate asked with a beleaguered sigh.
"I'd give it another week," Fiddleford answered honestly as he patted his son's back. "But until then, I'll go into the workshop an' whip up a machine that'll git rid of those spookums fer good!"
Five days had past without another ghost incident and Fiddleford managed to finish up his latest invention. When work on his latest machine was complete, he brought the large portable device up to the living room to show to his son. It was a laser gun attached to a backpack decorated with many buttons and some switches. Tate inspected the invention his father worked hard on.
"Now this here is the Ghost-Blaster!" Fiddleford explained. "Now the backpack is filled with a particle accelerator, which would-"
McGucket's explanation was brought to a halt when they heard a fierce battle cry coming from upstairs. Both men looked at each other as they started for the staircase.
"Well, time ta put my machine ta good use!" Fiddleford remarked, ready to take on whatever ghost was haunting the manor.
"This better be the last ghost I come across." Tate complained as he followed his father into danger.
The raced up the staircase and made it to the second floor. Fiddleford and Tate looked around for any clues of the ghost's appearance. The vast hallway had two sections, the east wing and the west wing, and they had no idea where the ghost was.
"We should stay together," Tate suggested. "Splitting up would be a recipe for disaster."
"Good thinkin' son." Fiddleford agreed. Tate McGucket was a smart individual, even if he wanted to appear as a 'simple man'. When Fiddleford learned that his son's high SAT score caused the grading machine to break down, he was thrilled. Tate, being so ashamed to his high intellect, wanted to forget about the incident.
Fiddleford prepared his Ghost-Blaster. Flicking the switch on the backpack, the machine fired up and the buttons were brightly flashing. McGucket cautiously walked down the west wing of the second floor, with Tate following behind. The two men looked around the different paintings Fiddleford had purchased to liven the manor's atmosphere. There were paintings of wild animals, bears, stags, raccoons. But he also purchased a few anime paintings online. After marathoning hours upon hours of anime with Soos, Fiddleford wanted to express his love for the visual medium by buying some wonderful fan art from his favorite series. He purchased two Gundam pictures, a lovely Cowboy Bebop painting, a few portraits of his favorite characters from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, and lastly, a portrait of Generaal Sasuke Kakashi Watanabe from the classic series Neon Crisis Mechabot Boy: Revelations, which was his favorite painting. The portrait itself framed the one-eyed, no-nonsense general in an elegant pose reflective of an eighteenth century military portrait.
As the men approached the end of the hallway, the came across where the general's portrait should be, only to find the supposed general missing. Fiddleford and Tate gawked at the painting missing its subject.
"Where do you think he's at now?" Fiddleford asked worriedly.
"Right here fools!"
The McGuckets were startled by the loud, yet surprisingly awful attempt of a booming, commanding voice. Fiddleford and Tate turned around to find the General himself in a battle-ready stance. Fiddleford stared at the now animated anime character. He must of suspected that character's poor attempt to sound intimidating must of stemmed from the poor English dubbing, which was put out during the mid-1990s.
"My name is General Sasuke Kakashi Watanabe, and I have come to defend my country and avenge my mother!" He pulled out a photograph of a young brunette with a sideways ponytail wearing a simple dress and an apron.
Tate rolled his eyes and glanced at his father. "I knew that something bad would come from your little hobby with anime, Dad."
"Now no need ta worry, The ghost-blaster is sure ta work on the first go-round!" Fiddleford assured, taking out his unusual blaster. He fired at the ghost, but found that the machine did nothing. "Oh no, ya can't malfunction on me now!" Fiddleford cried out, as he banged on the laser gun in a desperate attempt to get the machine up and running.
"PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER!" The General declared, as he took out his sword from his scabbard.
Tate yanked his father and hightailed it over to the closet, which was fairly spacious given that they lived in the manor.
"Now where did I put that thing…" The younger McGucket said to himself as he searched the room for his weapon of choice. Fiddleford struggled to get his machine started up again.
"What in tarnation is wrong with this contraption?!" Fiddleford squeaked as he tried his best to find the issue with the Ghost-Blaster.
But the ghost floated through the door and entered the closet. Fiddleford felt hopeless. He dropped what he was doing and starting muttering The Our Father under his breath.
Just as the General was about to attack, Tate jumped in front of his father and faced the ghost with sheer determination and bravery. He grabbed his spray of water and mercilessly squirted the ghost into submission.
"No! My greatest weakness!" General Sasuke Kakashi Watanabe whined as he was attacked with water.
"Now go on, leave!" He shouted. The ghost obeyed the stoic man and left the closet.
Fiddleford was on the floor, stunned at the sight. Not only Tate attack the ghost with water, but his own son was protecting him. If Fiddleford was put in harm's way about a few months ago, he wasn't sure if Tate would come to his rescue. But now that he and his son were repairing their familial relationship, it warmed the old man's heart to learn that his easily annoyed son still cared about his kook of a father.
Tate offered a hand to Fiddleford, helping him up on his feet. "I think I had enough ghost hunting for one day." He remarked.
Fiddleford chuckled as he stood up. He looked over to the Ghost-Blaster and knelt down to return the laser gun back into its holster. Heaving up the pack, he slipped his arms into the straps and adjusted his mechanical backpack. "Ya know, all this ghost huntin' is makin' me thirsty!" He placed a loving arm around his son, who smiled in response. "Come on Tate, I'll grab us some Sassafras!"
When they arrived in the kitchen, they were greeted with a grim sight. Standing near the sink was the ghost of a middle-age woman. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she wore a pantsuit that would have been in style in the mid-1970s. Turned out they weren't done with ghosts just yet.
"Where's Peter Northwest?" She asked with a powerful voice, her eyes piercing them both.
Fiddleford and Tate looked at each other. Fiddleford had only moved into town since 1981 and Tate had resided in town since 1992. Tate often kept to himself, steering clear from any trouble and focusing on his father. Fiddleford, on the other hand, was recovering of his memory loss that stretched over the course of thirty years. The only Northwests they knew of were Preston, Priscilla, and their daughter Pacifica.
Fiddleford gulped as he stood before the ghost, fiddling with his beard. "I'm not rightly sure who yer talkin' about ma'm." The elder McGucket nervously answered. "Is there anythin' else we can help ya with?"
"Then I'm afraid that you are no use to me…" She responded in a grim voice. Her eyes glowed white and she slowly raised her hands in the air. Soon they saw their silverware levitating and came to the conclusion that the The ghost must have the power to control objects. The fearsome woman pointed her finger at the pair, sending, launching the utensils across the room. Tate acted quickly, taking his father by the hand and made a mad dash towards the doorway. When they left the kitchen, Tate grabbed his father and landed on the ground. They looked up at the door, which was soon punctured by the sharp silverware.
The McGuckets scanned the dining room for a place to hide and settled for hiding underneath the table. As they laid down, the ghost entered the dining room, looking for her victims.
"Where are you?" She teased, hoping to lure out the men.
Tate was at a loss of what he can do. He assumed that it was going to take more than water to get rid of this spirit.
Fiddleford noted how frightened Tate was. The solution to this problem was literally pressing down on him. Fiddleford retrieved the laser gun from his Ghost-Blaster aimed at the ghost. It was going to take a miracle for the machine to work for him, but the old man had not other options. Pulling the trigger, he felt a powerful blast from the laser gun as it was fired. Oh thank God. Fiddleford thought. Even though his machine successfully fired on command, he failed to hit his target. The ghost woman noted that someone was firing back at her. Not wanting to risk getting vanquished, she fled from the dining room.
Fiddleford and Tate waited for a few minutes, fearing that the ghost woman would come back. But when she didn't show up, they took their chances and emerged from their hiding spot.
"That...that was insane." Tate declared.
"Welp, looks like I gotta put in some revisions to the Ghost-Blaster." Fiddleford remarked with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. But his son still looked apprehensive.
"I'm glad that the machine actually worked, but I'm still worried. Though." Tate said. "I mean, we've got more than six ghosts runnin' around the manor. Three want to eat our food, one annoying prankster, an even more annoying stand-up comic wannabe, an anime character, and a news reporter I guess?"
"And who is this Peter Northwest that she's askin' about?" Fiddleford inquired.
"I don't know, but we've got to do something about these ghosts and quick!"
"Agreed! But I gotta come up wit more effective weapons in addition ta fixin' the Ghost-Blaster."
Tate looked at his father with worried eyes. He didn't want to dampen his father's spirits, but he also didn't want him to get hurt, especially since they're working so hard to repair their bond. "Look Dad, I don't want to sound like I'm doubting you, but isn't there someone who has more expertise in the ghost department who can give you some pointers on how to dispose of these monstrosities?"
Fiddleford thought for a moment before looking back at his son, giving him a hopeful smile. "Yeah, an' I know the right person ta talk to."
"Well Dad, who are you gonna call?"
"Stanferd Pines."
AN: **Special shout-out to the-ill-doctor for helping me out with this story!
I reread the chapters of Newfound Family. While I enjoyed writing Fiddleford and Pacifica's unusual friendship and grandfather-granddaughter dynamic, I thought that I thought that where the story was going in an overly serious direction and I had trouble coming up with a sound conclusion. So this story is basically partially a rewrite of that story since I took elements of the later chapters, such as the McGuckets opening their doors to anyone who needs a place to stay and Pacifica getting herself involved with the McGuckets.. And after reading Lost Legends, I wanted to incorporate the canon information about the McGuckets and Pacifica into the story.
I had a ton of fun writing this story, especially with the ghosts. I'm going to be using some of the category ghosts featured in Journal 3. I also had a ton of fun writing the ghosts, particularly The ghost butler, Roger and his jokes are modeled after Rodney Dangerfield, the little girl ghost and the journalist ghost, which will be expanded upon in later chapters.
Please comment for a review or feedback! Thanks for reading!