Title: Without shadow, nothing
Authors: Anae and QttQ
Beta: Azrax (Thank you, dear.)
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
(Characters originally from Final Fantasy VII&VIII.)
Characters/pairing: Leon/Cloud
Rating: overall M
Spoilers: Not really?
Disclaimer: As much as we'd love to claim both Leon and Cloud, they belong to Square Enix boys. Darn.
And the song used on this chapter, it's Breaking Benjamin's Into the nothing. We don't own it either.
Summary: Having a mutual agreement is easy. But when light shines into the secrets hidden in darkness, even the shadows turn twisted, along with your thoughts, ideals, feelings and finally, your heart.
A/N (Anae): Long time ago, in galaxy far far away... I got the idea of some scenes of this story, but they never saw light. Not before I told about it to QttQ and we talked for long time in the dead of night, new ideas popping up, and this is where it led us.
Here we offer you the first (kinda long, sorryy) chapter. Hope you enjoy!
A/N (QttQ): This was an idea, created during the dark, insane hours of the night, but it actually became something. I have to say, I'm proud of the two of us for coming this far. :'D
So, this chapter is an introduction of sorts, both to our boys and to the whole story. What can I say? I hope you enjoy!
Ps. Rewievs are love.
Chapter 1: Gather the broken
All will be abandoned
None will shine
Gather the broken and leave this life
Lying in the earth
Side by side
"You're hurt."
Young brown-haired man, dressed in white shirt, leather jacket and trousers of the same material got the exact answer he had been expecting. Simply a glare, nothing more, nothing less.
Leon's eyes moved across younger man's body, re-checking his injuries. They were pretty bad, even on his own scale, which was by no means for those who couldn't endure pain. There were serious scratches on blonde's arms, hands, practically all over the body, but the worst was his bleeding side.
The gunblader had actually seen the whole fight; blond had been paired up against some newcomer who wielded two swords. Both of the fighters had been reluctant to give up, so the fight had gone on and on, both inflicting more or less serious, nearly lethal, injuries. Leon wasn't poor fighter himself, but he still had been amazed how the blonde had moved so fast, wielding his huge sword with such ease.
As somewhat annoyed vivid blue eyes met steel grey, they were asking a question. That question was easy to be answered.
"I'm supposed to be your opponent tomorrow but in your current state, I'm not fighting you."
There was a flare in those beautiful, unnaturally blue eyes. It was a mixture of surprise, surprise that someone actually maybe cared, and more than that, anger. "Yes you are."
You couldn't help but admire how he managed to sound so convincing, even though his right hand was leaning on the wall for support.
"I'm not."
It was fight of wills, a fight that was fought without swords, without drawing blood at all. But it wasn't like it didn't matter, just the opposite. If you couldn't win a fight outside the ring, how could you beat someone there? Neither of them was giving up. Both of them had all the time in the world to do this, neither of them was in hurry.
But, Leon really did want those injuries to be tended. And, to tell the truth, he didn't trust the man - Cloud, if Leon recalled right - to take care of them himself.
"Let me tend your injuries and we're fighting tomorrow", brunet offered, closing their match, ending it as a draw.
Silence was his answer, and Cloud wasn't the man to break it. Instead of speaking, he pushed himself off the wall, standing on the empty corridor, looking at the older man. He closed his eyes for a moment, then with a soft rustle, a raven black, leathery wing shot out of Cloud's left shoulder blade. Being too surprised, Leon missed challenging, somehow sad, look in blue eyes, along with the sharp, pained hiss that escaped the blond's lips.
But he did not miss how they widened in shock, as he, after having stared a while, he closed the distance between them, took younger's hand and without letting it go, he led him forwards, through the narrow corridors, all the way to his room.
It was clear that neither of them was much of a talker, never had been. Both men preferred to keep their thoughts themselves, respecting each other. They had shared only a few words since they entered the room and Leon started patching Cloud up. It was when gunblader opened the drawer of his nightstand for hi-potion, but before he managed to use it, younger warrior gripped his wrist. "Don't use potions on me."
Leon wasn't the one to ask questions, and it was rare the curiosity got better of him. But this happened to be one of those times. "Why?"
"Just don't."
Brunet did notice that the man sitting on the bed before him was looking at the floor instead of him, but didn't comment it. Actually, he put the hi-potion back to the drawer and instead took out some bandages, disinfectant and white pills. He stood up, eyeing the blonde. "You can take those painkillers, if you want."
Blonde nodded in agreement, taking more than three of them.
"They're pretty strong."
Cloud shook his head, lifting his head to look at Leon. "It's alright, my system is…" Those beautiful blue eyes preferred the wall again to the man. "…pretty tough, so to say."
The only answer was a nod, and Leon didn't push either matter. Cloud was a grown-up man who had probably been through all kinds of things, including his deal with Hades, of which the key blade master Sora had released him of. So he could think for himself and take care of himself, and Leon was certain that the warrior didn't even want to be looked after.
So he moved himself, placing himself on his knees behind Cloud, and started to disinfect the wounds on his back.
It wasn't before Leon was treating the black wing before they talked. Leon wasn't sure how he was supposed to treat the wounded wing, neither did he know how much it would hurt. There was some dried blood, black blood, on the wing, and as he started to disinfect it, Cloud hissed in pain.
"Sorry", gunblader mumbled. He had practically disinfected and bandaged the worst wounds, and Cloud hadn't even twitched.
"It's fine", was the quiet answer. "Just… finish it."
Leon did as he was told, but he was soon caught off guard. "Why?"
Brunet's movements stopped as he heard the question. Cloud actually asked him a question, instead of staying silent? He was kind of taken aback. Maybe those painkillers had been more effective than Cloud had given them credit for. He did understand what the blonde was talking about; why had he offered, practically forced to, help? "You're in no shape to fight tomorrow, that's why. Or you could call it human decency."
Cloud barked a laughter. "I'm no human."
Leon stared the blonde's back, this time displeased not being able to see other's eyes. He would've like to known what the hell. "You are", he simply argued, other hand on Cloud's bare shoulder, other on his own lap, too worried to touch the hurting wing.
This time, his answer was shaky, bitter chuckle. "How many humans you know to have one black wing?"
"Being human isn't about whether you have wing or not", he argued. "It's about…" About what? Leon hadn't ever been good with words, he had never been able to find the right words at the time. And oh, if he didn't hate himself for it. This time was like that too. His half-way answer, which had just proven Cloud right instead of wrong, was hanging in the air. Leon's hand was still on younger man's shoulder, and he found himself giving it a gentle squeeze. He wasn't wrong, he just didn't know how to prove himself right. Just like back then…
It didn't bother Leon that Cloud was leaning on him now, bare back against his chest. Hell, brunette actually helped him on that one, moving his hand from shoulder to scarred chest.
The way Cloud was leaning on him, the way he reacted to a touch, a simple human contact… Just how long had it been when someone hadn't touched him just to kill him? Leon didn't know much about the man, but he did know that Cloud had had a deal with Hades. That deal had been based on only lies, what, he didn't know, but it still had been a deal that you couldn't just wave off. Sora had come and saved the poor blond, but how long had he been in Underworld, acting as Hades' puppet.
Somehow it all hurt Leon, it hurt Squall in him, in hurt because he had failed to protect everyone, it hurt because he remembered her and how she had been when they had first met, how much pain did that one character bear.
Without giving it much thought, Leon dropped his head on Cloud's shoulder, still holding him close, muttering: "You're human."
Cloud shifted a little, and pained blue eyes met the sympathetic grey ones. There was so much pain, physical and emotional, so long since the last time he had held someone this close, so much…
Their lips met, open-mouthed kiss that tasted of pained heart, lost changes and bitterness, it was so good. They were facing each other for first time since they had entered the room, Cloud straddling Leon's lap, Leon pulled the man even closer, both hands roaming, neither of them breaking the kiss, both of them wanting it all.
When they finally parted - due to the unfortunate lack of oxygen - silence fell upon the two men. Their eyes met in a wave of silent questions, blue and grey examining each other, weighing their options. They were strangers to one another, but they shared an understanding that didn't need verbal reassuring. Nothing about the situation felt wrong. On the contrary, it only felt natural.
Neither man pulled back when their lips met again. Immediately, their movements became hurried and hungry - the actions of two touch-deprived men, who'd just found an oasis in a desert of no physical contact. Leon wasn't letting Cloud go; his hands were planted firmly on the blond's thighs, keeping him right where he was. Not that Cloud would've been trying to leave. He was far too busy with leaning against Leon's chest, soaking up the warmth the brunette seemed to radiate.
In the end, it was Leon who took a far more gentle road. Cloud's attempts of bringing teeth into their kiss were denied as the gunblader's mouth moved to the blond's neck. Kisses and careful nips rained down onto the skin, but Leon was careful to avoid any of the wounds he'd recently treated. His mind was void of thoughts, except for one - the body in his arms had experienced so much pain - now it deserved some pleasure.
Leon was by no means an inexperienced lover, but it had been a while since he'd shared a bed with anyone. To be honest, it had been quite a while since he'd had the privilege to enjoy someone's touch. The way Cloud grasped his shoulders and tentatively shifted in his lap were better than any feeling he'd had in months - the sensation of intimacy and pure desire couldn't even be compared to the rush of winning a battle.
That was something Leon let Cloud know via the quiet sighs of appreciation that fell from the brunette's lips every now and then. They were both quiet by nature, but the sound of quickening breaths wasn't unnerving at all. Quite frankly, it only managed to fuel Leon's lust when he heard Cloud's breath hitch at an unusually rough nip to his shoulder. He also learned that a careful roll of his hips made Cloud stop breathing altogether, followed by a rush of air when Leon stroked the blond's stomach with his fingers.
He learned that coaxing a response out of Cloud wasn't too hard when you knew what buttons to push. With careful caresses, kisses and strokes, he made the blond rock in his lap, their lips desperately trying to stay locked in a breathless kiss. Cloud's hands had grown bolder and were resting on the buckle of Leon's belt, every brush of fingertips against the brunette's abdomen like a surge of fire. Leon, however, was being much more careful, avoiding each scratch on Cloud's body, concentrating on the patches of skin that were unwounded.
To Leon's surprise, Cloud pushed him away. His mind was fogged with desire, his thumbs drawing small circles onto Cloud's hips, and it took him a while to realize that their kiss had ended. Confused and even somewhat disappointed, Leon faced the blond eye to eye.
It was probably the most arousing sight he'd ever witnessed. Cloud was straddling him, the position forcing Leon to tilt his head up slightly. The blond's cheeks were tinted with a faint redness, the color revealing his desire. Clear blue eyes had turned into pools of stormy water and the lips Leon had kissed into need were parted with the blond's rapid breathing.
Leon couldn't have walked away if his life depended on it.
"Hold on."
Cloud surprised him even more by actually speaking. He'd taken the blond for a quiet individual, just like himself, but once he'd brought the man back to his room, Cloud had actually spoken up. In the back of Leon's head, a tiny voice reminded him of the huge dose of painkillers the blond had taken. Cloud didn't seem like a very talkative person, but now he was actually taking the initiative to speak. Perhaps the drugs were affecting him more than he even realized.
"What?"
These thoughts had no room in Leon's head. His fingers were already unbuttoning the blond's pants, eager to see everything of the man in his lap. Cloud, however, seemed to have other plans.
"Just wait."
"What is it?"
What if Cloud was having second thoughts? They were strangers, after all, with no emotional bonds. If he wanted to back out, then Leon had no right to demand anything else. And still, he didn't move his hands from where they were.
"Give me a minute, and I'll get rid of my-"
Cloud didn't finish his sentence - he didn't need to. The glance he threw over his shoulder at the magnificent, black wing was enough to tell Leon what he was thinking. The appendix looked sore, and judging by the way Cloud had reacted earlier when he'd treated it, it really was aching.
"You don't have to do that."
The look Leon got in return was nothing short of confused. Cloud didn't speak, didn't vocalize his thoughts, but the way he eyed the bed they were sitting on made pieces fall into place in Leon's head. It was a small bed - as simple as the rest of the room, really - and Cloud's wing was taking up a good amount of space as it was. That, and Leon had a feeling it wouldn't do the blond any good to apply any pressure on it, not if they didn't want to see more of the thick, black blood that had seeped out from between the feathers.
"Don't worry." Leon was quick to slide his hands to Cloud's lower back, pulling the blond closer yet. With their chests pressed together, his mouth found the man's ear, teeth tugging at the small piece of jewellery he found there. He sensed that Cloud was about to protest again, but it was easy to silence him with a few simple moves that left the blond with his pants around his thighs and a baffled look on his face.
Apparently, that convinced Cloud, because within minutes, Leon had managed to pull off the remains of his own clothes and was welcoming Cloud back into his lap. The heat of the blond's skin was like pure pleasure for him and Leon couldn't resist running his hands over everything he could reach. Even at this point, Cloud remained quiet, but his ragged, uneven gasps against Leon's lips were good enough for the gunblader.
It wasn't until the first oil-slicked finger slid into the blond, causing a great deal of tension, that Leon even considered questioning the other man about whether this was what he wanted. The way those strong hips moved to welcome the intrusion made his thoughts dissolve, however, because Cloud's fingers were in his hair and a hot mouth was on his neck, and nothing told Leon to stop.
To be honest, Leon was silently grateful for the wing that swayed behind Cloud's back, following every move the blond made. Perhaps it was just an excuse, but it allowed him to hold Cloud, to keep him as close as possible, even as he slid into the heat of the youngster's body. As the first experience of intimacy in a long time, it made Leon feel overwhelmed. The way Cloud moved, the quiver of his strong thighs as he pushed himself up, the grip of his hands on Leon's shoulders - those small details alone would've been enough to drive the gunblader mad with want. In addition to the way Cloud slid down each time, pulling Leon deeper, faster and demanding more with each breath, it all left the man utterly speechless.
It didn't matter, however. It didn't matter that the only thing he got was a quiet, strained, hoarse sound as Cloud tensed around him and left bruises on his shoulders as the blond found release. It didn't matter that Cloud remained silent and unmoving when Leon muffled a groan against the blond's skin and filled him. It didn't matter that Leon had nothing to say when he gently eased Cloud down onto the bed, refusing to take no for an answer as he fetched a soaked towel and wiped away the proof of their actions. It didn't matter, because neither one of them were a man of words - they still shared an understanding as they were overcome by sleep, laying side by side on the tiny bed.
But it did matter when morning arrived, and words were what Leon needed the most.